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Two Opposing Personalities Within One Person

Immortelle

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I often feel as though there are two different personalities within me, and every day one is trying to overtake the other. It creates an inner turmoil and unrest, because the actions performed when under the influence of one personality may be displeasing when the other personality takes over.

One is a sexual glutton, a materialistic hedonist who almost worships herself (and maybe the devil, I don't know).

Two is very spiritually oriented, sexually reserved, and has lofty, idealistic dreams about making the world a better place (through actions such as volunteer work).

Here is an example of what I mean and what causes the inner turmoil between these two "personalities":

Some days I will be "one" and will say I don't believe in God, some days I will be "two" and be repentant and strongly believing in God.

Actual example: I was in "one" mode for a while, and did things this personality would do, such as amateur modeling - nude. I also took up dancing in the burlesque style. And then, when I returned to "two" mode for a while, I started seriously looking into repentance and becoming a nun...I spoke with someone who was already a nun about my behavior, and her advice to me was consistent prayer. And then the cycle starts again.

I am not sure how to overcome these issues. I want to be a consistent person. Preferably "two", because I fear that "one" has too many risky behaviors. That is all I ask.

I feel as though I am experiencing the battle between God and the devil in my mind. "One" feels constricted by two, and "two" feels terrible for the actions of "one".

I do not think I have multiple personality disorder, because I have full and clear recollection of everything I do. I am a 22 year old female, so I don't think it's a teenage hormonal issue.

Any help, experiences, or suggestions would be appreciated on this matter...thank you.
 

Tannhauser

angry insecure male
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Are you changing between these modes based on a thought process, or feelings, or just whim?
 

Immortelle

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Three words:

Read Psychological Types.

Carl Jung's typology is basically built around the premise of conflicting "personalities."

Psychological Types: https://deenrc.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/carl-jung-psychological-types.pdf

I love explaining this stuff if you have questions.

My computer was unable to open the linked file. Are you referring to "the shadow"? I was under the impression that the "shadow" wasn't normally expressed in physical action. Although, I could be wrong, as I haven't studied this for a while; I'll do further reading.
 

Immortelle

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Are you changing between these modes based on a thought process, or feelings, or just whim?

All three, in a way; my thoughts become different and each personality has a distinct "feeling".
 

Kuu

>>Loading
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Tannhauser

angry insecure male
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It kind of reminds me of a problem I myself have. Some of it was explored here: http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=23488.

You seem to have framed it in terms of two extremes: Extreme hedonism or becoming a nun. Why not discarding the dichotomy and aiming at living both life more abundantly and with a purpose?
 

groovytaxi98

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I see my personality as something extremely fluid... I really have no identity I can think of, and stuff like gender I can't understand. Along with this, I have no attachment to a well structured sense of morality, which, when attacked by opposing sentiments, creates a sense of internal chaos in my mind and body. This may be a result of Depersonalization as a defense mechanism against Social Anxiety, but I'm not sure. I enjoy separating my thoughts from any previous conceptions I may have about myself so as to let my personality change as it sees fit, rather than hold myself against any standards I may have had for myself. Makes things much easier on myself, and lessens my anxiety. Playing roles is fun, following personal rules isn't. :P
 

onesteptwostep

logos, life, love, longsuffering
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Irukanji

Part crazy, Part jelly.
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Like being ENFP with people you think will like you, vs being INTP for the rest?

Reading the visual and mental cues and keeping the convo going, vs nothing to say pls go?
 
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