Twilight is awesome and funny... Not that it's intended as a comedy.

[Phoenix Down]

http://www.cracked.com/article_18682_if-eclipse-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

Reguardless of the reason, the truth is this: I love twilight.

 

[Minuend]

Spoiler

I've never read or watched Twilight, actually.

 

[Razare]

Sadly, my younger sister kept telling me how amazingly awesome twilight was and I watched it. I should have learned from the first movie, not to watch the next.

So yeah, totally pointless stuff that made no sense to me... but there were vampires in it!!! I guess someone decided that alone makes it awesome.

 

[kantor1003]

I have never watched or read it.. but am I right in saying it's basically a romantic story made for 15 year old girls that accidentally has a vampire included in it?
Why must they always make vampires look so bad...

 

[Phoenix Down]

Sadly, my younger sister kept telling me how amazingly awesome twilight was and I watched it. I should have learned from the first movie, not to watch the next.

So yeah, totally pointless stuff that made no sense to me... but there were vampires in it!!! I guess someone decided that alone makes it awesome.

is she a mom or a teen girl that goes "Squee"

I have never watched or read it.. but am I right in saying it's basically a romantic story made for 15 year old girls that accidentally has a vampire included in it?
Why must they always make vampires look so bad...

more importantly why must they sparkle XD


Honestly I just like pointing the ridiculous things out... you know like red flags in the relationship, things edward does that are normaly considered creepy, sparkles, adjectives used to describe edward....

and the notion that there exists a teen girl that DOESN'T want to be popular for the right reasons.

 

[Cavallier]

KRISTIN STEWART'S GRADUATING CLASS has a party in a DEN OF VAMPIRES. This does not proceed as awesomely as one would hope.

Best part.

 

[Cognisant]

Who knew women had such a fetish for necrophilia?
Sadly rigor mortis doesn’t work that way.

*sigh* I miss the days of vampires being undead monsters, devoid of feeling or emotion, but entirely capable of faking it to lure in and ensnare hapless horny humans, that was the horror of it y’see, they were the smart, sophisticated monsters that understood things like love and empathy on a conceptual level, but didn’t actually feel them, they never needed crap like super speed, strength or special powers, because they had the most dangerous power of all, unbridled intelligence.

 

[Razare]

Yes, we need a resurgence of the old-school vampire in modern cinema. Too often nowadays the evil vampires are just mindless thugs, incapable of sophisticated villainy.

Twilight proves this point.

 

[Cavallier]

I like the witty, emotionless, think circles around you kind of vampire but my favorite is the 30 Days of Night kind of vampire. Admittedly they weren't really as smart as I would have liked; I did enjoy the part where they lured people out of their hiding places with a well placed "victim".

 

[Cognisant]

But that's more of a werewolf thing y'know?

Werewolves and vampires are a great duo, they're foils to each other's strengths and weaknesses, the raw bestial violence of the werewolf makes you want to build a fort, lock the gates, and keep the fuckers out, whereas the vampires will get into the fort (there's always a way) and start insidiously murdering the occupants, one by one, until the survivors wonder if or not it would be better to take their chances with the werewolves.

I've got plans for a MMO that works along these lines, a hardcore-realism survival-horror game where if your character dies, they stay dead, unless they're turned into a zombie or something like that, but there's also a lineage dynamic which is supposed to make dying, almost something a player wants to do, almost.

 

[Emil-san]

I actually like twilight *Ducks under nearest cover*

I'm very much aware of the flaws, and I laugh hard reading the article, but I do in fact love the movies and books.

 

[Cavallier]

But that's more of a werewolf thing y'know?

Werewolves and vampires are a great duo, they're foils to each other's strengths and weaknesses, the raw bestial violence of the werewolf makes you want to build a fort, lock the gates, and keep the fuckers out, whereas the vampires will get into the fort (there's always a way) and start insidiously murdering the occupants, one by one, until the survivors wonder if or not it would be better to take their chances with the werewolves.

Thus the werewolves are so often depicted as the henchmen/pets of the vampire. Oh yes. I'd take the werewolves over the vampire any day. The nice thing about a werewolf is that given enough strength and big enough stick you can see an end in sight. With the vampire you have isolation in the form of a structure (generally a castle but it can vary) and an insidious unstoppable force. (As long as we are still talking old school gothic vampires that is.) This is much more frightening than a mere dog that's a bit stronger and bit more vicious than usual. It is fascinating that the vampire uses the very defense you have built around yourself and the draw back of the isolation it also gives you as your undoing.

My answer is always fire at dawn. It brings equality. Not only does it shatter isolation by letting everybody know something is going down it also destroys the playing field so that there is nothing left for the vampire to hide behind with the added bonus that the vampire must hide so that it won't burn up in the sun. It brings you back to the level of fighting a werewolf. You just need a big enough stick/stake provided the vampire has managed to save themselves from the sun.

I always thought it was ridiculous that the vampires in most mythology don't burrow under ground when they don't have anywhere to hide from the sun.

 

[Cognisant]

I always thought it was ridiculous that the vampires in most mythology don't burrow under ground when they don't have anywhere to hide from the sun.

I think Chinese vampires do.

And werewolves are no less dangerous, they're personifications of raw bestial violence, a normal wolf is an incredibly dangerous animal, they're just as fast and strong as we are, they can track their prey over long distances, their endurance is unparalleled, their jaws are like a jagged hydraulic vice, and worst of all they're intelligent pack hunters. Add to this increased intelligence (not quite human, but close) the ability to use their forearms in combat like a human (if something’s stronger than you and can grapple you, then you’re fucked) and lets not forget their regenerative ability, i.e. they can wound/cripple you, but you can’t do the same to them.

 

[Cavallier]

There is no arguing that it would be difficult to fend off a pack of werewolves. However, they are organized and therefore fairly predictable. They are regenerative which is the most frustrating part of dealing with them but that doesn't mean they don't feel pain. That knowledge in and of itself is incredibly handy. We don't have to meet them one on one and by no means on their terms. We make traps, we get better weapons, and last we have doggy treats.

 

[Cognisant]

We make traps, we get better weapons, and last we have doggy treats.

They're too smart for "doggy treats", most dogs are too smart for that.
Btw I'm talking about real dogs, not those inbred dimwits or dog-like rats.

We don't have to meet them one on one and by no means on their terms.

A tactician doesn’t plan for victory, they plan for contingencies.

 

[Cavallier]

I was being silly with the dog treats comment.

 

[Cavallier]

Oh, and I thought of a weakness for werewolves. Their sense of smell. If they depend on it at all then some sort of stink bomb that could destroy it would be very useful.

A tactician doesn’t plan for victory, they plan for contingencies.

That's true but I hardly see what this has to do with the discussion at hand. What contingency would you have our hero deal with? If it is a matter of the hero against one monster with nothing to defend himself but his fists then the outcome is obvious. If this were a world where werewolves and vampires were a serious threat and you are caught without the offensive and defensive tactics/tools needed to fend off an attack than you are either an idiot or have been careless. One of the ways, one might argue the main way, a tactician prepares for contingencies is by making sure he is never caught entirely at his enemy's mercy. Otherwise it's just down to whoever is strongest. Humans aren't it. If our hero survives this sort of world it is because of his intelligence, cleverness, and an intimate knowledge of his enemy's weaknesses.