What does it take to make a change? and how does one decide that it is neccessary to do so. I have taken this test that determines my personality type. From it, it has concluded that I am an introvert, I am intuitive, I am a thinker and a perceiver. All the opposites of an extrovert, senser, feeler, and judger. right? ok.
So now, I have treated these results as if I have been diagnosed with cancer. Looking at the non validated statistics we make up the lesser portion of the population. One, or myself thought, o wow!
I am an outliyer, I am different, I am unique. That thought was for a moment, and a very quick moment at that. Although it is true, is it really a blessing to be apart of the category that really does not 'fit' into this society. And do I really want to?
I believe it is possible for people to be able to learn what they are not. That is what adaptation is. I may be an introverted intuitive thinking perceiver, but I want to be an extrovert, I need to learn how to sense and feel. For the sake of the people that I really care about.
By just reading the many descriptions of an INTP, it matches me almost 100 % and I cant help but chuckle at myself when I read statements like "They tend to be difficult to get to know well, and hold back parts of themselves until the other person has proven themselves "worthy" of hearing the INTP's thoughts" or "
Not naturally good at expressing their own feelings and emotions" and even "Tends to be suspicious and distrusting of others ". I once thought that I was actually mentally better than other humans. When i explained myself and someone was not understanding me, they were just proving my point of how most humans are just mentally inept of running this world. I know I sound like a misanthrope, and once upon a time, I was. Deep down inside, i am actually a humanitarian. I have such high hopes for our kind. To me, the human brain is SO complex and extremely powerful, it is not cliche to say 'we can be whatever we want to be'. But I have allowed my frustrations of how my logic is not being applied to what I see fit take a hold of me, that I started to resent people not like myself.
That was then though. This is me now. I do see it possible for one to live outside the comfort zone comfortably. To naturally be what they naturally are not. My brain goes over that constantly. Then the questions come about. What if you do this and it doesnt work? What if you are not doing it the right way? You are trying to make this happen but it still is not working the way you pictured it to, people are still misunderstanding you, people are still being offended by you and you didnt mean it at all. There goes that INTP again! They dont know where you are coming from. I almost want to quit. And sometimes I do, for like an hour. Then I go back to it again, and kick myself for ever quitting in the first place. But why? I feel as if in order to be what I think I want to be, I have to delete what I am and build from there. I feel that way becuase it is much easier to gesso the canvass and paint again. This is from the viewpoint that the painting, which was once intended to be a triptych painting of the moon, stars, and the sun....ended up looking like who, the what and where.
I say all this to know, what are others of the like doing to work this magic given to us as the 'I.N.T.P'?
So now, I have treated these results as if I have been diagnosed with cancer. Looking at the non validated statistics we make up the lesser portion of the population. One, or myself thought, o wow!
I am an outliyer, I am different, I am unique. That thought was for a moment, and a very quick moment at that. Although it is true, is it really a blessing to be apart of the category that really does not 'fit' into this society. And do I really want to? I believe it is possible for people to be able to learn what they are not. That is what adaptation is. I may be an introverted intuitive thinking perceiver, but I want to be an extrovert, I need to learn how to sense and feel. For the sake of the people that I really care about.
By just reading the many descriptions of an INTP, it matches me almost 100 % and I cant help but chuckle at myself when I read statements like "They tend to be difficult to get to know well, and hold back parts of themselves until the other person has proven themselves "worthy" of hearing the INTP's thoughts" or "
Not naturally good at expressing their own feelings and emotions" and even "Tends to be suspicious and distrusting of others ". I once thought that I was actually mentally better than other humans. When i explained myself and someone was not understanding me, they were just proving my point of how most humans are just mentally inept of running this world. I know I sound like a misanthrope, and once upon a time, I was. Deep down inside, i am actually a humanitarian. I have such high hopes for our kind. To me, the human brain is SO complex and extremely powerful, it is not cliche to say 'we can be whatever we want to be'. But I have allowed my frustrations of how my logic is not being applied to what I see fit take a hold of me, that I started to resent people not like myself.
That was then though. This is me now. I do see it possible for one to live outside the comfort zone comfortably. To naturally be what they naturally are not. My brain goes over that constantly. Then the questions come about. What if you do this and it doesnt work? What if you are not doing it the right way? You are trying to make this happen but it still is not working the way you pictured it to, people are still misunderstanding you, people are still being offended by you and you didnt mean it at all. There goes that INTP again! They dont know where you are coming from. I almost want to quit. And sometimes I do, for like an hour. Then I go back to it again, and kick myself for ever quitting in the first place. But why? I feel as if in order to be what I think I want to be, I have to delete what I am and build from there. I feel that way becuase it is much easier to gesso the canvass and paint again. This is from the viewpoint that the painting, which was once intended to be a triptych painting of the moon, stars, and the sun....ended up looking like who, the what and where.
I say all this to know, what are others of the like doing to work this magic given to us as the 'I.N.T.P'?
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