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The Random Thoughts Thread

moody

Well-Known Member
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You missed my reference. but perhaps the rest of the world could be mildly entertained.
Wasn’t it avatar the last Air Bender? I was asking if there were any other countries that could also be dubbed as one of the elemental nations based off of the natural disasters that they have. I guess I wasn’t specific. Or coherent.

When I feel lost I typically go biking or longboarding out in the forest at like 3am. The only lights are the little bugs, super relaxing and quiet.
You don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal, but what parts of the country do you live in? In the places I’ve lived in with more wilderness, there has been too many predators to do that. Like bears, mountain lions, coyotes, etc.
wont say, but we do have bears, mountain lions and coyotes. I just use a nature trail, way out in the country. I think most animals avoid it, other than the ballsy armadillos. To be fair the most dangerous thing here is easily the people, we have a very high crime rate, and the police have failed to solve many murders. At my old house, 8 people were murdered within 1 mile, I dont think even one was solved. I cant recall if it was 8 or 14 people, but.. who even counts past 7, natzis.
EDIT: meant that many people were murdered within a year, within one mile of my house.
I used strava for a week, and had an old man stalk me XD like noooope you cant know my super secret trail

Also I missed that you got my reference, mb
Oh shit. And you walk out on the trails at night? I took a walk once at night, and within five minutes there was a guy trailing me at a distance. When I turned around to look at him, he dived into the nearest alley. Then when I started walking again, I noticed he was trailing again. Luckily I was close to my place, but I just jogged back as soon as I rounded a corner. Some other people were looking at me funny, a homeless guy outright stared at me. Though at the time, that was also in a more urban area.

The rural places I've lived are pretty isolated, so not much crime ever happened there. I guess it all depends on the neighborhood, and surrounding community. There were people who got killed when being in the wrong place at the wrong time when gang members were quarreling at my school, but not where I lived. Where I am now, rape is the most prevalent violence. Instances of sexual violence happen quite a few times a year, unfortunately.
 

peoplesuck

is escaping
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Wow where you lived sounds worse than where I do, although here its less about gangs and more about owing the wrong people. Although lots of high school kids go missing...

EDIT: CRINGE, BE GONE

I carried a butterfly knife for years, I just looked it up. The penalty is up to 1k$ fine and 6 months in jail, just for carrying one. how absurd. I dont want to planet on this live anymore
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.

I fear growing close minded, most arguments, topical conversations and whatever else I just don't learn much that I haven't already considered, but even at that I still don't feel adequate. It gets depressing when I'm discussing topics with someone in which I expect the format of their response and what points oppose their own. Echo Chambers are not good.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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My curse and my blessing is I can't follow the path others follow so I have to create my own. It's a curse to create the path but it's likely a blessing once it has been chartered and I've still got to extend this path further.

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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And now I'm completely fine, cool.

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
 

peoplesuck

is escaping
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What are the problems that take a lifetime to solve? I feel if I keep going at the rate I am, I wont have internal problems, in maybe 10 years. What are the things that people struggle to overcome? What's next?
I want to buy a psychology book today, and read it in one sitting.
One thing I must work on is giving advice, im the fucking worst about that.
just...stfu ps...nobody cares...stfu
ye but if....
no
but
nop

And now I'm completely fine, cool.

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
I get the impression you arent the type to vent irl, Its ok to vent rebs.
You're fine


i want to build some kind of tesla coil subwoofer. I also think a speaker could be made with something like an elastic rubber ball, with two pistons inside. The pistons could move and create a vacuum, it would be a normal speaker, but 360 sound? sounds neat. never going to build that tho. Also it would be a ball with a flat base for obvious reasons, or suspended by a wire. The internal structure would be like one of those big balls made from straight plastic bars, when you smoosh it, all of the bars fold in, like a thousand scissor lift arms..
hoberman minisphere as amazon calls it:4965
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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Joined
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Yeah I'm really not the venting type. We seek others who can understand us, right?

I generally cannot express my true feelings to literally anyone in real life. Some in small doses, so considering that I really don't do badly here I'm terms of posting shit. I do feel like I live a chaotic life with a few dualities here and there, all things considered.

I just want to contrbution to the creation of something. I don't feel my life is going where I intended it to go, there must be something past all the bullshit. I think it's too early for me to become a recluse, I want a few years with like-minded people before I turn into a drone.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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Currently where I am in education, if I just put my hours in and then the rest of my time was leisure I'd do well, undoubtedly perform in the top 5%, I'd get a decent job since IT labour is pretty cheap over here and in my leisure time I could just goof around. I put in a decent amount of hours (Granted I do waste some here but I don't find this forum wasteful in terms of development exactly), But I just don't feel satisfied with much so I'm constantly seeking more than what's infront of me. I'm chasing a shadow that I can't see.

Quite a few people in my university think they've made it because they got into here. Like a revolving door, you'll be put through the system and let out the other side with little control or thought coming from yourself.

I would happily work for a company for free just so I can finally understand what its like within the industry but there's regulations, paperwork to be filled out that it just won't happen. I have a guaranteed position in 18 months from now but I think it's moving too slowly. Yes, Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence. Throw me into a pit of lions and I'll try and survive.
 

moody

Well-Known Member
Local time
Yesterday, 18:49
Joined
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Messages
506
I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.
I can understand. A close INTJ friend of mine once told me that the worst feeling was realizing you have no one in your life to look up to. That was a few years ago, we've since grown apart since we live in completely different places. But I'll never forget that. After they had that realization, they slowly started growing into themselves. I think you need to trust you to know what you want to do. When we're young, we haven't yet proven to ourselves the limits of our abilities, so it becomes all to easy to let other people dictate our ambitions. You have to have a bit of false confidence to enable yourself to honestly try your best at the things you want to do. We're human, we're bound to be affected by the attitudes we're around.

I use professionals and my older peers in the career path I'm in to strive forward. I look at what they did, and try to do the same to motivate me. When I work to get myself in a good environment that builds me up, I know the work I put in was worth it and I was right about where I wanted to be.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
I've always been jealous of these people too. My older sibling is one of them (well, they're on the the line), and I've always looked up to them for it. They have the good qualities that I don't. At least I can cheer them on when I cant cheer myself on.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.
I cannot tell you how many times someone in a GE class of mine has told me that I just seem like I have it "all figured out." It's hilarious. It's the complete opposite in the classes for my major, but I'm not going there right now...it was a rough year.

Your want for knowledge and ambition is most likely what those people are referring to. That troubleshooting part of my personality is what those people felt when they told me the same thing.

I just want to contrbution to the creation of something. I don't feel my life is going where I intended it to go, there must be something past all the bullshit. I think it's too early for me to become a recluse, I want a few years with like-minded people before I turn into a drone.
I understand this as well. It's called drive.

My curse and my blessing is I can't follow the path others follow so I have to create my own. It's a curse to create the path but it's likely a blessing once it has been chartered and I've still got to extend this path further.
That's everyone who has ambition or goals in a field. People who aren't as passionate about a serious hobby or career path probably don't feel the same way because there isn't as much information they're seeking on what they want to do in life. You seek a lot of information because your brain is so active about what you care about, which is why you're more aware of the limitations of advice from other people. You know you best. It sucks, but you have to figure out what questions to ask, and who to ask. I'm there right now too buddy, so I definitely empathize with your situation.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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What a busy three months, @Marbles I have finally remembered these date anniversaries you've mentioned.

Thanks for responding @moody, it really detracts you from the simpler things in life. It's isolating this climb, the more you chase the unknown the less you can relate to others and subsequently the lonelier you become.

I can understand. A close INTJ friend of mine once told me that the worst feeling was realizing you have no one in your life to look up to. That was a few years ago, we've since grown apart since we live in completely different places. But I'll never forget that. After they had that realization, they slowly started growing into themselves. I think you need to trust you to know what you want to do. When we're young, we haven't yet proven to ourselves the limits of our abilities, so it becomes all to easy to let other people dictate our ambitions. You have to have a bit of false confidence to enable yourself to honestly try your best at the things you want to do. We're human, we're bound to be affected by the attitudes we're around.
I had a similar friend, closest person I looked up to in terms of knowledge in who knows how long. It was really something for a while but I've got the lead recently. It was nice to reclaim a mental "Victory" but they weren't the competitive type so I don't see the tables flipping with them. They're dealing with a lot of personal stuff, hormone therapy, voice lessons and such. I hope you see them again swinging topics at them.
I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.
I cannot tell you how many times someone in a GE class of mine has told me that I just seem like I have it "all figured out." It's hilarious. It's the complete opposite in the classes for my major, but I'm not going there right now...it was a rough year.

Your want for knowledge and ambition is most likely what those people are referring to. That troubleshooting part of my personality is what those people felt when they told me the same thing.
So I've been hanging out with people in 2nd and 3rd year of my course through my best friend and I think they've been influencing the people there. They keep mentioning the way I think about things with a remark on friday "Alright Cullen no need to flex the brains" and literally "Now that you're here we won't get any girls" Really quite surreal and it undoubtedly must've been my friend exaggerating or emphasizing stuff I do like I'm a legend. (A modern regional mythos: the Tales of Rebis O Chulainn. ) He holds me in very high regard but I think it should be tonned down a bit, it just creates this distortive field between expectations and reality. I'm like the worst person to complement, I feel self-centred when it comes to compliments because I only recognise my own achievements rather than what other people consider an achievement.

What was awkward yet is I couldn't really talk to any girls there, mainly because I was sober in a night club and didn't want to shout in people's ears 24/7, but also because I didn't have that dopaminergic hit that gave me an everlasting drunken smile. And then a friend who had broken up with a girlfriend wanted me to be his wingman! It was just weird.


My curse and my blessing is I can't follow the path others follow so I have to create my own. It's a curse to create the path but it's likely a blessing once it has been chartered and I've still got to extend this path further.
That's everyone who has ambition or goals in a field. People who aren't as passionate about a serious hobby or career path probably don't feel the same way because there isn't as much information they're seeking on what they want to do in life. You seek a lot of information because your brain is so active about what you care about, which is why you're more aware of the limitations of advice from other people. You know you best. It sucks, but you have to figure out what questions to ask, and who to ask. I'm there right now too buddy, so I definitely empathize with your situation.
I do think I'm leaning toward a visionary side of things instead of the technical details. It's just technical details are rather endless: Syntax for this language, libraries in that language, implementation in different algorithms, Optimization and so on. I can understand it by necessity but it's hard for me to understand on a general principle, so due to that I'd just like to be thrown in a programming environment akin to a bootcamp to just propel myself from 1-100 instead of the well trickling down waterdrop. In technical terms I can only think of solutions as a result of a problem, rather than learning technical details for the sake of it, only for that to be incorporated in a problem down the line. Currently I'm not finding a necessity for manipulating strings or arrays in programming, if I'm presented with a few complex problems it would get the ball rolling.

But yes, thankyou for responding. A bridge here and there stops the mind's island from being completely surrounding by a moat. You probably have a few more years in the "Ringer" than I but if you're looking to express something difficult (as you can see with some of my posts here with scattered thoughts) you can try and take a stab at me dude
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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It's just little things: I've used command line tools, messed around with non-GUI linux distros, grasping the basics of a few languages yada yada but ultimately I don't retain most of the information unless it has some utility, and that utility depends on understanding the main problems in the tech industry which I don't have a grasp of. Computer science has too much technical details that it doesn't make sense to proactively learn

I am going to have another go at TensorFlow after a test tomorrow which will surely be interesting.
 

Cognisant

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CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE NAME OF AUSTRALIA TO THE FIRE NATION!? YES PLEASE. FOR THE MEMES. FOR THE ROOS, FOR JUSTICE AND BEYOND.
We have cyclones, floods, fires and droughts, we are the multicultural nation.
 

peoplesuck

is escaping
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multidisastural nation.

I got the state of affairs book today, going to try and read it all tomorrow.
Ive only ever read one book, in one sitting, and that was a book on body language. Literally absorbed the fucking knowledge through my hands. wish me luck, understanding people, and living, and not breaking ribs
 

peoplesuck

is escaping
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Yeah I'm really not the venting type. We seek others who can understand us, right?

I generally cannot express my true feelings to literally anyone in real life. Some in small doses, so considering that I really don't do badly here I'm terms of posting shit. I do feel like I live a chaotic life with a few dualities here and there, all things considered.

I just want to contrbution to the creation of something. I don't feel my life is going where I intended it to go, there must be something past all the bullshit. I think it's too early for me to become a recluse, I want a few years with like-minded people before I turn into a drone.
Its natural to vent, it helps you figure out what is bothering you, and to get input. Everyone just wants to be understood, correct.

You seem to label venting as shitposting, which tells a lot about how you see your feelings/frustrations.

The problems you have are extremely human, its what we are all figuring out and working toward.
Best of luck
Sincerely mandudebro
 

Marbles

What would Feynman do?
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What a busy three months, @Marbles I have finally remembered these date anniversaries you've mentioned.
Then you're one up on me.

Hang in there, man. Maybe you're just having a small neurochemical hangover or shortage after New Year's. You seemed to be on top of the world, then.
CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE NAME OF AUSTRALIA TO THE FIRE NATION!? YES PLEASE. FOR THE MEMES. FOR THE ROOS, FOR JUSTICE AND BEYOND.
We have cyclones, floods, fires and droughts, we are the multicultural nation.
And then, if things get too bad, you have New Zealand. If I don't get there first.

These fires are horrible, species could go extinct. I saw 25,000 Koalas are estimated to have been killed, so far. What's it like in Australia, now? How are you influenced by these fires in the cities?
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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moved response to separate thread

tl;dr: australia fucking sucks and fire is hot
 

Happy

sorry for english
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Yes
I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.

I fear growing close minded, most arguments, topical conversations and whatever else I just don't learn much that I haven't already considered, but even at that I still don't feel adequate. It gets depressing when I'm discussing topics with someone in which I expect the format of their response and what points oppose their own. Echo Chambers are not good.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
I currently have 3 mentors. I’ve also had several in the past. Of my current mentors, one is my boss - a trailblazer in my field (I’m his 2ic); while the second is a senior leader, who is extremely experienced; and the third is another senior leader, who is a walking encyclopedia. It’s really good to have the 3 very different perspectives and the 3 I can count on for whatever problem I have.

Problem with acquiring mentors is that they are hard to find. The best thing to do is be, in the words of legendary comedian Steve Martin, “so good they can’t ignore you”. Naturally, this takes time. All you can do is your utmost to stand out, and be open and malleable so that potential mentors can begin to work with you. I suppose you should also be always willing to speak your mind, challenge authority (where appropriate) and take as much initiative as you can.

It’s also important to keep the cycle going. Always seek opportunities to mentor others. I have a few mentees of my own. It’s very rewarding working with them, and I also learn a shitload by having to interpret and explain to them how our professional world works.

Another important thing, and probably the best thing you can get started with now, is to seek deep conversation with your peers and look for opportunities to work together.

Finally, if you don’t have any mentors of your own now, check out the book ‘Tribe of Mentors’ by Tim Ferriss.

Quite a few people in my university think they've made it because they got into here. Like a revolving door, you'll be put through the system and let out the other side with little control or thought coming from yourself.

I would happily work for a company for free just so I can finally understand what its like within the industry but there's regulations, paperwork to be filled out that it just won't happen. I have a guaranteed position in 18 months from now but I think it's moving too slowly. Yes, Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence. Throw me into a pit of lions and I'll try and survive.
Good attitude. University is important as a step in the journey, but hardly significant in the big picture.

On regulations, I work in a heavily regulated framework, and can tell you it’s extremely frustrating in the first few years. However, once you become ‘good’, you may find as I did that they provide an extremely fun challenge. You’ve gotta learn the rules like a pro before you can break them like an artist (paraphrased from a quote often accredited to Pablo Picasso).
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 02:49
Joined
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Messages
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Location
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I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.

I fear growing close minded, most arguments, topical conversations and whatever else I just don't learn much that I haven't already considered, but even at that I still don't feel adequate. It gets depressing when I'm discussing topics with someone in which I expect the format of their response and what points oppose their own. Echo Chambers are not good.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
I currently have 3 mentors. I’ve also had several in the past. Of my current mentors, one is my boss - a trailblazer in my field (I’m his 2ic); while the second is a senior leader, who is extremely experienced; and the third is another senior leader, who is a walking encyclopedia. It’s really good to have the 3 very different perspectives and the 3 I can count on for whatever problem I have.

Problem with acquiring mentors is that they are hard to find. The best thing to do is be, in the words of legendary comedian Steve Martin, “so good they can’t ignore you”. Naturally, this takes time. All you can do is your utmost to stand out, and be open and malleable so that potential mentors can begin to work with you. I suppose you should also be always willing to speak your mind, challenge authority (where appropriate) and take as much initiative as you can.

It’s also important to keep the cycle going. Always seek opportunities to mentor others. I have a few mentees of my own. It’s very rewarding working with them, and I also learn a shitload by having to interpret and explain to them how our professional world works.

Another important thing, and probably the best thing you can get started with now, is to seek deep conversation with your peers and look for opportunities to work together.

Finally, if you don’t have any mentors of your own now, check out the book ‘Tribe of Mentors’ by Tim Ferriss.

Quite a few people in my university think they've made it because they got into here. Like a revolving door, you'll be put through the system and let out the other side with little control or thought coming from yourself.

I would happily work for a company for free just so I can finally understand what its like within the industry but there's regulations, paperwork to be filled out that it just won't happen. I have a guaranteed position in 18 months from now but I think it's moving too slowly. Yes, Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence. Throw me into a pit of lions and I'll try and survive.
Good attitude. University is important as a step in the journey, but hardly significant in the big picture.

On regulations, I work in a heavily regulated framework, and can tell you it’s extremely frustrating in the first few years. However, once you become ‘good’, you may find as I did that they provide an extremely fun challenge. You’ve gotta learn the rules like a pro before you can break them like an artist (paraphrased from a quote often accredited to Pablo Picasso).
That Pablo Picasso quote was great, 9/10.

I'll take the advice for standing out. I do stand out quite easily but I've not been interested in people's perception of me so I actively negate the idea of proving myself to someone. I'll give it a go with a few teachers

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Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
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Joined
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Location
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Its natural to vent, it helps you figure out what is bothering you, and to get input. Everyone just wants to be understood, correct.

You seem to label venting as shitposting, which tells a lot about how you see your feelings/frustrations.
Sincerely mandudebro
I think most emotional posts are shit posting because they're gard to interpret. I just think it's a bit selfish to vent in a way because people stop what they're doing to listen to your problems


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Happy

sorry for english
Local time
Today, 11:49
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
1,336
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Yes
I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.

I fear growing close minded, most arguments, topical conversations and whatever else I just don't learn much that I haven't already considered, but even at that I still don't feel adequate. It gets depressing when I'm discussing topics with someone in which I expect the format of their response and what points oppose their own. Echo Chambers are not good.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
I currently have 3 mentors. I’ve also had several in the past. Of my current mentors, one is my boss - a trailblazer in my field (I’m his 2ic); while the second is a senior leader, who is extremely experienced; and the third is another senior leader, who is a walking encyclopedia. It’s really good to have the 3 very different perspectives and the 3 I can count on for whatever problem I have.

Problem with acquiring mentors is that they are hard to find. The best thing to do is be, in the words of legendary comedian Steve Martin, “so good they can’t ignore you”. Naturally, this takes time. All you can do is your utmost to stand out, and be open and malleable so that potential mentors can begin to work with you. I suppose you should also be always willing to speak your mind, challenge authority (where appropriate) and take as much initiative as you can.

It’s also important to keep the cycle going. Always seek opportunities to mentor others. I have a few mentees of my own. It’s very rewarding working with them, and I also learn a shitload by having to interpret and explain to them how our professional world works.

Another important thing, and probably the best thing you can get started with now, is to seek deep conversation with your peers and look for opportunities to work together.

Finally, if you don’t have any mentors of your own now, check out the book ‘Tribe of Mentors’ by Tim Ferriss.

Quite a few people in my university think they've made it because they got into here. Like a revolving door, you'll be put through the system and let out the other side with little control or thought coming from yourself.

I would happily work for a company for free just so I can finally understand what its like within the industry but there's regulations, paperwork to be filled out that it just won't happen. I have a guaranteed position in 18 months from now but I think it's moving too slowly. Yes, Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence. Throw me into a pit of lions and I'll try and survive.
Good attitude. University is important as a step in the journey, but hardly significant in the big picture.

On regulations, I work in a heavily regulated framework, and can tell you it’s extremely frustrating in the first few years. However, once you become ‘good’, you may find as I did that they provide an extremely fun challenge. You’ve gotta learn the rules like a pro before you can break them like an artist (paraphrased from a quote often accredited to Pablo Picasso).
That Pablo Picasso quote was great, 9/10.

I'll take the advice for standing out. I do stand out quite easily but I've not been interested in people's perception of me so I actively negate the idea of proving myself to someone. I'll give it a go with a few teachers

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
That’s a good training ground. Teachers are good practice mentors, but imo pretty worthless unless they are major players in their field.
Def recommend building peer relationships too. You can leverage each other.

Just thought of something else I read somewhere and was a game changing idea for me:
Never be a fan. Always be a peer. In other words, always treat everyone in your field, including the stars, as peers. They will treat you the same.
 

Rebis

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I think I need to find a mentor, I've been running on my own fumes far too long.

When is the last time someone has been mentored by another? It doesn't have to be a personal mentor but someone they pay attention to, learn from and ultimately grow as a person.

I fear growing close minded, most arguments, topical conversations and whatever else I just don't learn much that I haven't already considered, but even at that I still don't feel adequate. It gets depressing when I'm discussing topics with someone in which I expect the format of their response and what points oppose their own. Echo Chambers are not good.

I don't even feel knowledgeable on subjects, that is the scary part. Seeing few people around me that I can learn from and yet everyone thinks I know it all when I know little. What do I do??? Maybe it's this country, I havent met a single student that's entrepreneurial or ambitious. I feel like an idiot doing idiot things and people think I'm on top of it all.

I'm jealous of people that do not question everything. They truly are blessed. Life would be a lot easier if I went with the primordial "flow".
I currently have 3 mentors. I’ve also had several in the past. Of my current mentors, one is my boss - a trailblazer in my field (I’m his 2ic); while the second is a senior leader, who is extremely experienced; and the third is another senior leader, who is a walking encyclopedia. It’s really good to have the 3 very different perspectives and the 3 I can count on for whatever problem I have.

Problem with acquiring mentors is that they are hard to find. The best thing to do is be, in the words of legendary comedian Steve Martin, “so good they can’t ignore you”. Naturally, this takes time. All you can do is your utmost to stand out, and be open and malleable so that potential mentors can begin to work with you. I suppose you should also be always willing to speak your mind, challenge authority (where appropriate) and take as much initiative as you can.

It’s also important to keep the cycle going. Always seek opportunities to mentor others. I have a few mentees of my own. It’s very rewarding working with them, and I also learn a shitload by having to interpret and explain to them how our professional world works.

Another important thing, and probably the best thing you can get started with now, is to seek deep conversation with your peers and look for opportunities to work together.

Finally, if you don’t have any mentors of your own now, check out the book ‘Tribe of Mentors’ by Tim Ferriss.

Quite a few people in my university think they've made it because they got into here. Like a revolving door, you'll be put through the system and let out the other side with little control or thought coming from yourself.

I would happily work for a company for free just so I can finally understand what its like within the industry but there's regulations, paperwork to be filled out that it just won't happen. I have a guaranteed position in 18 months from now but I think it's moving too slowly. Yes, Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence. Throw me into a pit of lions and I'll try and survive.
Good attitude. University is important as a step in the journey, but hardly significant in the big picture.

On regulations, I work in a heavily regulated framework, and can tell you it’s extremely frustrating in the first few years. However, once you become ‘good’, you may find as I did that they provide an extremely fun challenge. You’ve gotta learn the rules like a pro before you can break them like an artist (paraphrased from a quote often accredited to Pablo Picasso).
That Pablo Picasso quote was great, 9/10.

I'll take the advice for standing out. I do stand out quite easily but I've not been interested in people's perception of me so I actively negate the idea of proving myself to someone. I'll give it a go with a few teachers

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
That’s a good training ground. Teachers are good practice mentors, but imo pretty worthless unless they are major players in their field.
Def recommend building peer relationships too. You can leverage each other.

Just thought of something else I read somewhere and was a game changing idea for me:
Never be a fan. Always be a peer. In other words, always treat everyone in your field, including the stars, as peers. They will treat you the same.
Always had that mentality to treat people as equals but with teachers it's a 50/50 bet if they like the idea of being treated equal. Some see at an insult but really it's just me naturally talking to you because power dynamics should not exist when exchanging information (insert some quote about the scientific method) haha

But yeah, not a blind follower of anyone.

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
 

Rebis

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"Every person is a God in embryo. Its only desire is to be born."
 

Happy

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Interestingly, in Australia, we address University teachers by first name. Or at least that was how things were at my uni. It’s so much better.
 

moody

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I had a similar friend, closest person I looked up to in terms of knowledge in who knows how long. It was really something for a while but I've got the lead recently. It was nice to reclaim a mental "Victory" but they weren't the competitive type so I don't see the tables flipping with them. They're dealing with a lot of personal stuff, hormone therapy, voice lessons and such. I hope you see them again swinging topics at them.
We were a little competitive when we were younger, because we played the same instrument and were always auditioning for the same things. I think being competitive is natural when you're younger and still trying to figure out how you fit in the world. I've gotten less competitive as I've gotten older because I exposed myself to competition and the possibility of failure at a younger age. I still have feelings of petty competitiveness aimed at others when I get insecure or I feel like someone is treating me like I'm stupid, but I try to redirect those feelings away from any person. We are what we've put into what we do. The biggest blessing we can give ourselves is not demean ourselves by acting like we know less than we do. That's will devalue your input to other people, and you get treated based off of that.

The INTJ was bullied a bit in school, for petty reasons. They have always been extremely intelligent and forthright about their interests, but they came across as obnoxious to others in high school, or full of themselves. I recall their best friend once telling me, "You know I love INTJ, but there's only so much of them you can take at a time." While I had my qualms about INTJ, I remember having a thought at the back of my mind like: "No, I don't 'get it.'" I wish I defended them a bit more, but I wasn't in school with them for a very long time. I may have eventually, but they graduated a couple years before me.
Anyway: As soon as they were our of that judgmental environment, all of those obnoxious or petty traits slowly dissipated because no longer were people making assumptions about them. Toxic environments can bring out undesirable traits in us.

"Alright Cullen no need to flex the brains" and literally "Now that you're here we won't get any girls"
I loathe people like that. It's like, what are you supposed to say? It's just rude. You're just being yourself. I get it if your friends, but if it happens over and over again, it's just demeaning and used as a convenient way to shut you up.

I don't mean to put ideas in your head, these things are just a trigger for me.

I'm like the worst person to complement, I feel self-centred when it comes to compliments because I only recognise my own achievements rather than what other people consider an achievement.
I get like that too. I think this is why people tend to put distance between me and them. I've had a few acquaintances in the last couple years that I could've been closer friends with, but they experienced a moment where I didn't hide that all too well, and it erected a wall. I know a few other people like that as well.

But yes, thankyou for responding. A bridge here and there stops the mind's island from being completely surrounding by a moat. You probably have a few more years in the "Ringer" than I but if you're looking to express something difficult (as you can see with some of my posts here with scattered thoughts) you can try and take a stab at me dude
Ha, no. I'm just good at sprouting words. I've also been forced to face a few of those realizations sooner than others for survival. I had undiagnosed symptoms for a while that made me relate less-and-less to other people, barbecue the problems I was having were so different. Even now, I can never just comfortably listen to advice without analyzing all the other factors in my life. That, and I transferred quite a few times while I was in k-12 education, so I had to take more initiative to get opportunities.

I just think it's a bit selfish to vent in a way because people stop what they're doing to listen to your problems
I mean, it's our choice to read and respond. You're not forcing us to do anything. You write something, and people read if they please.
 

Marbles

What would Feynman do?
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moved response to separate thread

tl;dr: australia fucking sucks and fire is hot
The nation on fire, and no one holding the reins.
That is the state of the entire west. It is really frightening to see wealth accumulate in smaller and smaller groups, which are gaining control of the media. Worst of all, no one seems to have good solutions, even on paper.
 

moody

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The nation on fire, and no one holding the reins.
That is the state of the entire west. It is really frightening to see wealth accumulate in smaller and smaller groups, which are gaining control of the media. Worst of all, no one seems to have good solutions, even on paper.
I see what you did there.
Well...everyone dies eventually. Most people I've personally met in the younger generations seem to all be aware of this problem, regardless if we agree on politics. We can remain hopeful that our politically-savvy peers will start infiltrating the systems. A lot of the people in positions of power are not qualified, as they don't keep themselves accurately updated on the state of the world. For instance, (in the US) The trial of Mark Zuckerburg was a joke, because the congressional panel didn't understand a single thing about what Zuckerburg was being accused of. The world has evolved past the knowledge of the decision makers, and the decisions makers continue to ignore incoming data that effects their countries and what the best policy decisions are.
 

peoplesuck

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My 20minute dentist visit cost me 220$, which ironically is about the exact price of a car engine. So now I dont have money for a car engine, and the dentist basically just said my wisdom teeth cant safely be removed.
And the largest chain, with the most jobs, just said im unhire-able. Based off my personality, Im not even qualified to push a shopping cart.
fantastic you guys.
4972
 

Marbles

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@moody I just worry that accumulation of wealth and power in the elite is a fundamental attribute of society, which can be mitigated by solidary legislation, but not removed. Perhaps redistribution can only be achieved through societal collapse, as has happened in the past, but what would such a collapse look like in a world with nuclear and sophisticated, biological weapons? Would any redistribution take place in case of collapse if the elite is not dependant on human labor?

I'm not all pessimistic, but it is a momentous challenge. I have the impression everyone is too busy absorbing the global news picture to think deeply about solutions. We are over stimulated, and pacified by that.

I think one trap we can easily walk into when trying to solve this is assuming there is some illuminati pulling strings in the shadows. What we are dealing with is human nature and opportunists. We have to tame ourselves, make better systems, like our forefathers did in the enlightenment. Adapt their ideas in accordance with their ideals, or perish.

My 20minute dentist visit cost me 220$, which ironically is about the exact price of a car engine. So now I dont have money for a car engine, and the dentist basically just said my wisdom teeth cant safely be removed.
And the largest chain, with the most jobs, just said im unhire-able. Based off my personality, Im not even qualified to push a shopping cart.
fantastic you guys.
Urgh.. Dentists are satan's spawn. Sorry to hear, man. I'll hit you up on discord when I get home.
 

moody

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@moody I just worry that accumulation of wealth and power in the elite is a fundamental attribute of society, which can be mitigated by solidary legislation, but not removed. Perhaps redistribution can only be achieved through societal collapse, as has happened in the past, but what would such a collapse look like in a world with nuclear and sophisticated, biological weapons? Would any redistribution take place in case of collapse if the elite is not dependant on human labor?

I'm not all pessimistic, but it is a momentous challenge. I have the impression everyone is too busy absorbing the global news picture to think deeply about solutions. We are over stimulated, and pacified by that.

I think one trap we can easily walk into when trying to solve this is assuming there is some illuminati pulling strings in the shadows. What we are dealing with is human nature and opportunists. We have to tame ourselves, make better systems, like our forefathers did in the enlightenment. Adapt their ideas in accordance with their ideals, or perish.
You triggered a thought about the connections between wealth, existentialism, and religion. I realized that most existentialist literature, philosophy and art comes from people who were more wealthy. The people who have long, philosophical discussions about the meaning of life and question the existence of god lived fairly cushioned lives. The most religious people have been the poor, because they don't have time to think and ponder those things or their implications.Why should people who've been privileged question if some greater force is looking out for them when they have never wanted for anything? (The pyramid of transcendentalism answers that question, but you have to admit, it's a bit ironic).


(Of course this could be historically biased, as poorer individuals work and thoughts are not recorded).
 

Marbles

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I dreamt that scabs tasted euphoricially good. People would create "scab farms" all around their bodies where they peeled their skin to make scabs they could snack on.

I wonder what Freud would have made of that.
 

Rook

drown the wabbithole
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kangaroo zombie slasher opera.
 

peoplesuck

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I dreamt that scabs tasted euphoricially good. People would create "scab farms" all around their bodies where they peeled their skin to make scabs they could snack on.

I wonder what Freud would have made of that.
4980
 

Marbles

What would Feynman do?
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I dreamt that scabs tasted euphoricially good. People would create "scab farms" all around their bodies where they peeled their skin to make scabs they could snack on.

I wonder what Freud would have made of that.
View attachment 4980
I'm surprised an Anne Rice clone like yourself cannot appreciate the vampire's potato chip. You absolute pleb.

Well, in scab farming the importance of "terroir" cannot be overstated. Remember to moisturize farmland vigorously off season; alternately with zinc, urea and vitamin D ointments. Crop rotation is of the utmost importance so that capillaries are not exhausted, but continue to oxygenate your produce, yield after yield.

Come harvest season, patience is paramount. Scab crops are like grapes, the longer you wait, the more potent the produce. Whether this is desirable depends on personal taste, but keep in mind: if you harvest very early, your scabs will include layers of peel and fat tissue. This is considered a delicacy among some scab aficionados, but is only for the most developed of palates. The practice of premature harvest also tends to impoverish the farmland, so experiment with caution unless you have disposable sore slaves handy.

Conversely, should you delay harvest your yield will develop a crispness popular in the younger generation. This not to say produce matured to a crusty condition lacks sophistication - it is in fact particularly coveted in the valley of Prahova, where evidence of scab farming as far back as in the early days of The Roman Empire is abundant.
 

peoplesuck

is escaping
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I dreamt that scabs tasted euphoricially good. People would create "scab farms" all around their bodies where they peeled their skin to make scabs they could snack on.

I wonder what Freud would have made of that.
View attachment 4980
I'm surprised an Anne Rice clone like yourself cannot appreciate the vampire's potato chip. You absolute pleb.

Well, in scab farming the importance of "terroir" cannot be overstated. Remember to moisturize farmland vigorously off season; alternately with zinc, urea and vitamin D ointments. Crop rotation is of the utmost importance so that capillaries are not exhausted, but continue to oxygenate your produce, yield after yield.

Come harvest season, patience is paramount. Scab crops are like grapes, the longer you wait, the more potent the produce. Whether this is desirable depends on personal taste, but keep in mind: if you harvest very early, your scabs will include layers of peel and fat tissue. This is considered a delicacy among some scab aficionados, but is only for the most developed of palates. The practice of premature harvest also tends to impoverish the farmland, so experiment with caution unless you have disposable sore slaves handy.

Conversely, should you delay harvest your yield will develop a crispness popular in the younger generation. This not to say produce matured to a crusty condition lacks sophistication - it is in fact particularly coveted in the valley of Prahova, where evidence of scab farming as far back as in the early days of The Roman Empire is abundant.
im not reading this and fuck that shit kill it with fire
no
nononono no no, no no, nu nu,nooo fuck no. absolutely no, nope
not, nope, arent, nu-uh
 

Ex-User (14663)

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I'm so fucking tired of my parents harassing me all the time, man. Is it really necessary to call me every goddamn week and talk to me about their boring-ass vacuous horse shit? And if I don't pick up my mother sends me messages pretending it's something important, and it never is. She doesn't realize we never had a familial relationship to begin with. All I remember from when I was a kid was my parents fighting and throwing things at eachother. I figured "wow, these people are unhinged idiots". There's not going to be an emotional connection between a parent and a kid if the kid was never treated as a kid, but rather as either a thing, an observer to their idiocy, or another grownup who had to deal with their childishness. And even as I was growing up, they never really gave two shits about what I was doing nor ever tried to understand anything I ever said. I can pick a random person on the street and have a more connective conversation with them than I can have my parents, so... wtf to they want from me?
 

Marbles

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Sounds rough, I hope you've got some good friends or something. Got any siblings you're in touch with? My mother is dead, and my father always tried to be more of a friend than a father. But at least he genuinely cares about me, and he's a nice guy, so I'm glad he's around.

Are you obligated to keep a relationship with them?
 

Polaris

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I'm so fucking tired of my parents harassing me all the time, man. Is it really necessary to call me every goddamn week and talk to me about their boring-ass vacuous horse shit? And if I don't pick up my mother sends me messages pretending it's something important, and it never is. She doesn't realize we never had a familial relationship to begin with. All I remember from when I was a kid was my parents fighting and throwing things at eachother. I figured "wow, these people are unhinged idiots". There's not going to be an emotional connection between a parent and a kid if the kid was never treated as a kid, but rather as either a thing, an observer to their idiocy, or another grownup who had to deal with their childishness. And even as I was growing up, they never really gave two shits about what I was doing nor ever tried to understand anything I ever said. I can pick a random person on the street and have a more connective conversation with them than I can have my parents, so... wtf to they want from me?
I take it you weren't looking for advice or sympathy, but an explanation of sorts. Or it was most probably rhetoric, but here's my two cents anyway.

To continue to have their childish egos validated through your predictable compliance because....kids are just great for that? They control how your relationship with them should be which means, yes, unfortunately it sounds as if they care more about what they get out of it and assume you're all fine (aka they don't actually understand how to talk to you and/or project their own personas on you). Parents don't like to be given the impression they may have failed as parents so it's up to you, as you said, to be the adult and tread around their egos carefully.

Old school parenting. It's great.
 

sushi

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moved response to separate thread

tl;dr: australia fucking sucks and fire is hot
The nation on fire, and no one holding the reins.
That is the state of the entire west. It is really frightening to see wealth accumulate in smaller and smaller groups, which are gaining control of the media. Worst of all, no one seems to have good solutions, even on paper.
tax or limit net worth cap
 

Marbles

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tax or limit net worth cap
Then what do you do with our corporate leaders once they reach the wealth cap? It seems like a bad idea to force some of the most driven, talented people in the world into retirement.
 

Inexorable Username

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Can you be an empathetic robot? The way I feel/interact...it's not normal ._.
and I could think that this is all in my head, as I generally would, because that's how I systematically invalidate self-doubts, but the way other people interact with me...that's not normal either! The evidence against my normalcy is mounting.
 

Marbles

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I don't think rationality is detrimental to empathy, although that is a trope. Maybe there is something to it, as the brain tends to focus on a task to the detriment of other tasks, but I doubt the negative correlation between empathy and rationality is strong.

I relate to feeling like an alien, and having others treat me like one. I mean... People have flat out suggested that I am one. Not in an asperger sort of way, though. I'm quite good at reading people, I've even been tested at that. I think I just appear very deliberate and a little aloof.

For what it's worth, you've seemed healthy and been quite good company both here and on discord. In what ways do you feel different?
 

Inexorable Username

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And it's not like I need to be on the far end of the bell curve on the spectrum of normalcy. I'm good being in the middle. Maybe...even in the lower quarter.

But you guys. Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm just like....like an alien or something. A creature so far removed from what it is to be human that other humans cannot begin to identify. (Inex. How dramatic can you be. Seriously)

No, but really. I feel like other people get me wrong all of the time. For instance, people seem to think that because I'm alone, I must be lonely. I'm not lonely...in fact, I chose to be alone. Also, I need to carefully avoid telling people I have no friends - because apparently, that's awkward. It's even more awkward when I explain why I choose to have no friends, and why I don't want them. I'm kind of a tell-you-anything kind of a person, with no mouth filter, because I don't generally regret anything I say until about three hours later.

I just don't feel the need for friends, because the things I enjoy doing are things that only require one person. (That's me. I'm the one required person.) I just don't like spending my time frivolously. Like...I don't really like watching movies or tv shows, because I don't learn anything from them, so they're just not interesting and I usually start doing something else while they play. I'm much more interested in watching Youtubers, who can be entertaining and somewhat, potentially educational.

I don't feel the need for a relationship, either, because....why? I mean, what's the point if you're not going to have kids.

But the thing is - I don't expect others to share this point of view. I think relationships are great, and love is great...and I care deeply about the feelings and emotions of others. I especially don't like to hurt anyone's feelings. I feel the sadness of other people way more intensely than I feel my own sadness. Guilt is the bane of my existence. It's very easy to manipulate and control me through the vector of guilt, because I'm always afraid of doing or saying something that might cause someone else pain. It gives me sensations I can't control, and I don't like that feeling. Feels weird.

I've been told that I sound like an audiobook. Apparently, I think I also must write strangely, somehow, because people seem to have a strong reaction to my e-personality. Also, apparently, I'm easily identifiable as a female, just by the way I write. What's with that? I can't identify males and females just by their writing. I don't get it. I'm missing out on that information...

Hmmm...I mean I don't mind being a bit of a robot. It's better than being accused of being illogical - which I'm very sensitive to. But I guess I don't like that people mistakenly think that I think I'm smarter than them, or better than them, or that I'm somehow a cold and/or cruel person. I especially don't understand why people seem to think -I- think I'm so smart. I don't at all think that...I constantly have doubts about my intelligence. I just like....I guess I don't think it's beneficial to anyone for me to run around bemoaning how dumb I am and refusing to have opinions or share information, just because I have a self-esteem issues. Also, I don't really think that it's worth giving those feelings the time of day because, at the end of the day - smart or stupid - does it matter? It's not going to change what I should or shouldn't do. I should try to learn more. Get smarter. Be better. Wasting precious brain energy on mentally putting myself down isn't going to help my case if, indeed, I am a person who is more stupid than average. I'll need all the precious brain power I can get to not be dumb.

I think...I'm rambling. I should desist. Not sure what is up with the verbal diarrhea tonight. (Well, I guess it's typed, not verbal).....I don't even think this is necessarily going to help, because if I get too transparent like this I think it makes things worse somehow. My honesty...its like...offensive. Lol.

Okay, wait. Brainwave. Maybe this was useful after all! I just realized, I think, what it is that really bothers me about all of this.
I really, really care about being a genuine person. And being honest. I strongly dislike manipulation - I don't like how people use each other for their selfish reasons. I don't want to be like that. I want to add to peoples lives, if I choose to participate in them.
So in my effort to be honest, I always try to be realistic about who I am, how I think...and so forth.
So WHY is it that so few people seem to be able to understand who I am? I'm an open book. The information is right there for the taking, and it's as accurate as I can make it. So why do people misinterpret me?

How can I put myself across more honestly then...just being honest? Yes, I don't have a lot of emotional needs. I'm just NOT an emotional person. It doesn't mean I don't feel - and it especially doesn't mean I don't care about other peoples' feelings. And, okay. So I talk weird. I don't know how I talk weird because no one has ever been able to define what it is about my speech or text that is "weird"....but why does it matter how I talk. What should matter, is what I say.

This is one of the reasons I think I choose to be alone. People are so complicated and their interpretations are so subjective...it's just...it's exhausting. My energy - it's draining like an old, used Duracell. I feel the need to caffeinated. Ugh. So many...thoughts.
 

Marbles

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This is exactly how I used to feel. Then I decided to become an ESFP. That was a disaster, avoid that road.

I think people assess gender based on how emotional and personal a post is. I think I also tend to perceive people making longer posts as more feminine. There are probably many more things I subconsciously consider, and its a very imprecise appraisal.

Sorry about the short post, I'm about to leave the house. I feel your frustration!
 

Inexorable Username

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I don't think rationality is detrimental to empathy, although that is a trope. Maybe there is something to it, as the brain tends to focus on a task to the detriment of other tasks, but I doubt the negative correlation between empathy and rationality is strong.

I relate to feeling like an alien, and having others treat me like one. I mean... People have flat out suggested that I am one. Not in an asperger sort of way, though. I'm quite good at reading people, I've even been tested at that. I think I just appear very deliberate and a little aloof.

For what it's worth, you've seemed healthy and been quite good company both here and on discord. In what ways do you feel different?
Awww....Thank you Marbles <3
That's very sweet of you. And, same, no one has ever suggested I'm on the spectrum, and I'm also good at reading people. For the most part. The only thing I really seem to be lacking is the ability to read into the ways others view me, specifically. That, I can't understand.

I don't know in which ways I'm different. The only thing I can work out is that I just have a different relationship with my personal emotions. They just don't count much in my book. Also, I've never really had a tendency to idolize people. People, to me, are just people...some have different jobs, degrees, etc. but they are all just people in the end. I've never had a crush on a movie star - and frankly, I find it difficult to remember their names and recognize their faces. I'm not really that interested in the news, or politics, because those things, to me, just seem to be pretty inaccurate and fake - like a fiction movie. I'm not really that emotional about money...I don't really care about wealth. I don't know the different cars. Some guy tried to impress me with his car once and he was really offended that I didn't know what species it was, and that my favorite thing about it was that the seats were comfortable. (I mean, really, that seems like a reasonable measure of how enjoyable a car should be.)

I don't understand the thrill people feel for sports - although I wish I did. I don't get lonely - in fact, I think I'm often less likely to feel lonely when I'm alone than I am when I'm with a group of people. I don't feel the need for a relationship....I just don't see what I would need one for (unless I were to have kids, which I'm not).

I don't really want friends, because there's nothing I need friends for. I would be more likely to hurt my friends by getting too hyper-focused on some new project to the point of isolation, than I would be to get something out of the friendship. The stuff I enjoy is stuff you do alone. I don't really like...going to movies or...whatever it is that people do these days.

It doesn't mean I don't like people though. I love people. I think people are great. We're an excellent species. And if anyone asks me about it - I'll tell them all about how people are great, and how empathy is important, and things such as this.

So I don't know Marbles. I mean, there's a lot of things I think that are strange about me. I've accepted that - did that a long time ago. BUT...I don't know why people get the impression that I'm cold. That bothers me. I really don't value causing pain or discomfort to others - I think we're social creatures, and we should behave to the benefit of those we choose to socialize with. Doing otherwise is selfish and a sign, in my mind, of being immature or poorly informed. If you can't see how you, as a human, affect the experiences of those around you, and why that matters within the context of the bigger picture, you must not be very well researched, and you should apply yourself to better understanding the world.

So, in a way, being a positive experience for others is something I deeply value. Thats why, I think, it upsets me a bit, when I rub people the wrong way. I don't understand how I failed to present myself to such a degree as to cause such a wild misinterpretation of my character. It really must indicate that something in the way I interpret the world is missing, or off, because I try to present myself honestly and be true to what I think is right - and yet, I'm often misinterpreted, despite the fact that I think...at least...I'm presenting myself and what I know as accurate as I'm able to.
 

Inexorable Username

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This is exactly how I used to feel. Then I decided to become an ESFP. That was a disaster, avoid that road.

I think people assess gender based on how emotional and personal a post is. I think I also tend to perceive people making longer posts as more feminine. There are probably many more things I subconsciously consider, and its a very imprecise appraisal.

Sorry about the short post, I'm about to leave the house. I feel your frustration!
OH MY GOD! Sorry for the caps, but my reaction really was that extreme. Just two days ago, I decided to become an ESTJ! That is insane! What a random thing for me to have in common with you! I retook the personality test based on who I wished I was, rather than who I actually am, and the result I got was ESTJ. (Or it might have been ESTP). In any case, I got distracted and I haven't fully committed yet, but that philosophy has been in the works - change your personality, so you can learn to correct your shortcomings.

So curious to hear about what your experiences with that were if ever you have the time. I know you're leaving the house.

I tend to conduct experiments on myself. Like, there was this one time that I decided to turn off my empathy for...I think about 2 weeks. If I remember correctly. It was a mess. No good. That's how I became passionate about the importance of empathy. Prior to that, I thought it was making me weak.
 

Marbles

What would Feynman do?
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My project was really to become more gregarious, "sensory" and immediately responsive to my environment (e.g. answer people more quickly, not zone out all the time). At this point in my life I had also opened my eyes to the value of role models, so a friend whom I suspect was an ESFP became a role model in social interaction. His name was Ibrahim, and to this day I summon him when I have to put on a performance of some kind. Even my friends joke about me going all "Ibrahim" when I "hustle" a seller or a doorman or something.

I adapted my behavior in many ways, and tried to change the way I thought to be more superficial, but nimble. I pursued a lot of extroverted activities. Well... To make a long story short, I ended up with severe burnout, even developed paresthesia and fasciculations. My intelligence was left in shambles, which was especially hard on me. It turns out to be a very bad idea to open all your senses to the world when you have spent your whole life in your own little bubble. I got extremely overstimulated, especially by people. It seems I need a certain amount of dissociation, and a lot of time alone. I'm an extreme introvert in the first place, though. I have very little need for external stimuli (a gross oversimplification, but I don't want to bore either of us with details).

It's not all bleak, though. I've learned to talk my shitfaced friends past bouncers, and I'm good at getting discount from salesmen. I can small talk with the best of them for about five minutes, but then I faint from exhaustion.

My advice is to not rewrite your script, but rather add lines to mitigate your weaknesses. Remember that perfection is an oxymoron, and that most strengths come with drawbacks. Work on yourself, but spend some time deliberating your course before you run off. It's easy to pick a direction simply because others say you should, but it's just as easy to avoid it for the same reason.

I dont like giving advice, because being laconic frequently makes me come off arrogant. I'm not claiming to have figured anything out, and I'm not sure my experiences are relevant to people who have a different psyche.
 

Marbles

What would Feynman do?
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I'm sorry I didn't respond to your second to last post. Did you edit it? I thought I had read everything you had written.

I have struggled with people believing I am cold, arrogant, judgmental or some version of that. I have come to think along these lines: people fear the unknown. If you are strange, it is hard to predict how you will act, so people peg you as a wildcard. You know how animals react to a new organism, gazing at it, sniffing it, carefully circling it? That's how humans react to a woman they can't pigeon hole. You're unknown, and unknown is scary. People think in good and bads, then they half heartedly sort their emotions into specifics. Basically, you're unknown, which is bad, so they throw out some iteration of bad, like "cold", "arrogant", "narcissistic", or whatever. Had they liked your vibe, they might have said "rational", "self assured", "confident" - words to that effect.

So if you wanna be universally liked, find an archetype to imitate, so people can figure you out. Or be the best version of yourself, and attract intelligent, curious people, to whom you'll be just the right amount of mysterious, because these people better understand the world, and people.
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
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I have emerged from meditation in dank caves and absorbing the energies of random rocks that looked cool. I have come back with this great wisdom. who fucking cares.

I was a little distraught by the drama because I could only see myself visiting all the time or not at all, and didn't consider what was in the middle. Now I think I will see everyone on the forum as penpals that I are worth talking to about stuff, and I see myself maybe browsing and not saying much unless I feel like I should add something.

Rationality is a tool or plane we are developing and or discovering.
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
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So a while ago, like before I made joined the forum, I had a dream where it was like cuts from a horror movie where Stephen Hawking was the slasher and basically went on a murder spree. It was really grotesque. The only real part of the dream that has stuck with me was right before I woke, where Hawking was using some sort of mechanical frame of metal strapped to him that allowed him to walk in a contorted manner with an oncoming giant bolder coming from behind him.

I've come to understand what it means to me, and my fear of logic/reductionism. It is a rational one because the more I reduce things the more shallow the world feels. I'm thinking maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. There is a drawback to unbounded rationality for sure, but again maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places.
 
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