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The art of small talk

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Today, 11:14
Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
54
#1
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Today, 04:14
Joined
Aug 18, 2012
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401
#2
I think many of us don't have problems initiating small talk, it's just that we choose not to. Having to read an article on how to talk to people makes me feel like a moron... lol.
 
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Today, 06:14
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
18
Location
Pennsylvania, US
#4
I find it hard when I have no common interests with someone. I inherently want/need the conversation to be purposeful. At least in some regard. Just stringing mush upon mush is really painful. I find it very hard to keep it going.
 

xirekm

Redshirt
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Jun 14, 2014
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#5
I read articles on small talk, like the one you linked above, but I'm still terrible at smalltalk: such articles tell you mainly WHAT NOT TO SAY during small talk, but they don't tell exactly WHAT TO SAY.
I'd like to make a small talk with many people, especially when I'm at a club, but I always don't know what to say, and usually I don't even start a small talk :-(

What do you say during small talk?
 
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Today, 11:14
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Jun 16, 2014
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#6
I find it hard when I have no common interests with someone. I inherently want/need the conversation to be purposeful. At least in some regard. Just stringing mush upon mush is really painful. I find it very hard to keep it going.
^This. I don't have hard time making small talk, rather it tends to be exceedingly droll if the person at hand does not wish to converse (or have the knowledge to converse) about topics that interest me. A purposeless conversation is a useless conversation. If I can not glean some bit of knowledge from you, I have no interest in discussing anything.
 
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Dec 28, 2013
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#7
I mainly engage in small talk more often than not, especially if you have to spend a lot of time with the same people, it's socially expected and I'd prefer not to cause unnecessary conflict or have someone dislike me for something so petty. That being said I'm still not very good at it; I'm often at a loss as to what to say, a lot of awkward moments occur and eventually it'll fizzle out as something else will catch the persons attention.

I usually handle it by letting the other person steer the conversation, listen to what they have to say and agree/nod when appropriate. I don't commit too much or delve into my thoughts or ideas and usually have default answers to questions asking how I am etc.
This is often sufficient as many people are happy enough just to talk, have someone to listen and get things off their chest. They often care very little for your opinion anyway.

Does this differ much from other people's experiences here?
 
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