Re: The my body my right argument. [abortion -thread merge]
...i'm quite desensitized to a lot of things. even though i'll often know that something or other might be offensive, i have a difficult time guaging just how offended someone might be. part of my sense of humor is finding that edge where its just slightly past peoples comfort zone, but not to the point of just being shocking and apalling (although i often could go there, i usually start from a less offensive place and go from there).
I find I have a good sense of how something will generally go over; I know part of my sense of humor is based on expectations, I think it's funny if the social expectation/routine has a wrench thrown into it... depending on context. (I think that Sarah Silverman's actually funny -- but she's so deadpan, I can see why some people think she's horrible.)
If someone's feelings are going to be dreadfully hurt, though, I'll avoid the joke. Some things are too big or I don't know the people well enough.
all i'm saying is, even though i've gotten better at controlling this (1000+ posts and i've yet to really alienate somebody yet)
*gasp* I hate you, go away forever!
....Just kidding, of course.
some people might be the same way i am, making comments that they would normally do with a couple friends in their living room without really thinking twice about it in a place where theres a larger audience. i'm not defending the post in question (especially since if he actually read the conversation he'd have known it was a personal issue for people) i'm just saying, i can kind of relate to it. christ, that was long winded of me.
I usually reserve my worst social
faux pas for people I know well. They're the only ones I trust well enough to know they won't take me seriously if I say something inadvertently rude; on public forums, where people might take offense, I tend to err on the side of politeness.
even something that someone else would probably feel i'd take very personally or be offended by it because it "hits close to home" usually doesn't affect me all that much. because of this, its difficult for me to know just how far i can go with someone else, because i think of something that might be repulsive to other people and i can't really "feel" why they would feel that way.
I'm sorry I'm running off topic, but I think this could be interesting... maybe a thread split?
What is your sense of aesthetics like? Do you feel that you are artistic, or musical, or dress well, or a good decorator?
To me aesthetics is a sense of the emotional impact of certain things on people. I'm wondering if the same sensitivities are in play -- if the aesthetic sense carries over to social anticipations as well.
I'm the same way. I am not easily offended and pretty much anything goes. As is probably obvious. But, I hate to think that something I say might hurt someone else. When I realize I have crossed a line with someone, I really get upset with myself. I never mean harm, but words can have a powerful impact on people and I have a tough time knowing the limits. but still I push! I'm not sure what that is all about.
I don't like hurting/violating others either. I think when someone makes a crass comment, I find myself more annoyed than offended; I can see what they were doing and why, and if I sense they just don't have a good social sense, I'll "forgive it" but I'll still be annoyed with them.
When I mod on the other site, I'm not sure what to do with it sometimes. Some people say things that I can deal with fine, even if I find it distasteful; but then I'm aware that other members can't handle it, so then I'm sort of stuck forcing compliance to behavior for the sake of someone else even if I'm not really bothered by what they said myself. I am not sure how I feel about that yet.