Stuff I've told myself to help self improve

[Dentan]

be the better man
-you don't have to give jerks the attention they want
don't be anxious about what other people think about you
-who cares what they think
don't always explain yourself
-you'r your own person and you know your reasons
retaliate to insults (well actually be assertive)
-though be able to grin/laugh at the good stuff
-and dont sweat the small stuff (dont be sensitive/over defensive)
dont be excessively polite
-you'll come off a bitch
take into consideration other peoples feelings
-don't be a douchebag
keep an eye out for cues from people
-look for deeper meaning in things
take into consideration advice (and a persons motive for giving it)
-take it with a grain of salt, unless a lot of people tell you
don't give anyone power over you
-no permission to take your joy, happiness, and good mood away
don't say filler stuff like 'umm' or 'like'
-it makes you come off unsure
pick your battles
-don't sweat the small stuff
follow social niceties
-be aware at what people are doing
-dont cut people off
don't become stagnant when confident
-don't get settled in your ways
instead of looking at external forces as opportunities realize your own potential and that fact that you choose who you are
-you have the potential to create a situation
-don't set a narrow path for yourself
-be open to experiences, don't let fear hold you back

 

[Toad]

I swear...you seem more like an INTJ. Go retake the test. There is no way an INTP can pay attention long enough on self improvement to implement this many tips.

 

[Cryss Winters]

I swear...you seem more like an INTJ. Go retake the test. There is no way an INTP can pay attention long enough on self improvement to implement this many tips.

That is true, but maybe he's just a more improved INTP.

 

[cheese]

don't be anxious about what other people think about you
-who cares what they think

dont be excessively polite
-you'll come off a bitch
don't say filler stuff like 'umm' or 'like'
-it makes you come off unsure

I found these especially helpful.

 

[Toad]

Well this list is very obvious. I'm pretty sure we all implement these things in our lives with out having to tell or remind ourselves of them.

If you read my posts in this forum, you can see that I am all for self-improvement. But for an INTP to improve, this list is just too simple. Now, go retest yourself.

 

[Fukyo]

whatever happens to me, given any situation, i can handle it

Disregarding that this sentence reeks of arrogance,an attitude like this will prove,in most cases,the exact opposite.How can you know you are able of handling *any* given situation?And if you don't know for sure,how can you claim it?

 

[phantome]

This is interesting...sounds like stuff I've though of but never had the chance to write down

 

[Ermine]

Ok, I'll try to keep these all in mind at once. *head explodes*

But yeah, there's a minor inconsistency between caring about what people think and not caring.

 

[Toad]

Chrisid's philosophies would impress and maybe help young high school students who have no experience in life.

 

[Dentan]

I didn't write this all at once,
I started trying to find my faults
and asking peoples perspectives about me (it helps being in a fraternity)
and I slowly started to write stuff down and implement it

It definitely didn't happen at once
It takes time
But if you put your mind to it
You can accomplish it.

SlyGuy,
are you sure your not the INTJ here?
Your the one being the hater/judger here
I try to think of things objectively
even If I impose a structure of the world
to help with my self improvment
to be a better individual in society.

 

[Toad]

I have accomplished all of those things without "putting my mind to it". I guess I have just achieved a higher form of self improvement than you and find everything you say to be naive and "for beginners" as some would say.

I mean come on. All your advice is so generic. A monkey could have figured them out.

I applaud you for trying. But you must go deeper!

 

[Dentan]

I have accomplished all of those things without "putting my mind to it". I guess I have just achieved a higher form of self improvement than you and find everything you say to be naive and "for beginners" as some would say.

I mean come on. All your advice is so generic. A monkey could have figured them out.

I applaud you for trying. But you must go deeper!

Why do you have the need to be better than everyone...

 

[Toad]

You are not understanding what I am saying at all...

You and me we are the SAME. I don't want to be better than you. I just want you to get your head out of your ass for one second and just listen to what the rest of us are trying to tell you.

We are trying to discuss your theories and systems, but you don't seem to want to hear it. Do you just want us to agree with you 100%? Aren't theories meant to be explored and researched?

I think I heard this story on this forum.

A Professor working at a University comes up with a theory that is claimed to be true for two decades. One day a student comes in and debunks his theory. The professor starts crying and THANKS the student.

I do not have the need to be better. But as an INTP, I can not just listen to you blindly. If you want to share more of your insight on this forum, you better get used to people disagreeing with you.

 

[Felan]

On the plus side there are cookies. Admittedly browser cookies, but cookies nonetheless.

 

[Dentan]

You are not understanding what I am saying at all...

You and me we are the SAME. I don't want to be better than you. I just want you to get your head out of your ass for one second and just listen to what the rest of us are trying to tell you.

We are trying to discuss your theories and systems, but you don't seem to want to hear it. Do you just want us to agree with you 100%? Aren't theories meant to be explored and researched?

I think I heard this story on this forum.

A Professor working at a University comes up with a theory that is claimed to be true for two decades. One day a student comes in and debunks his theory. The professor starts crying and THANKS the student.

I do not have the need to be better. But as an INTP, I can not just listen to you blindly. If you want to share more of your insight on this forum, you better get used to people disagreeing with you.

I don't have my head in my ass.
Your assuming that
I'm just assertive and have a need for clarity.
I'm sorry I'm acting too self assured for a "noob".
I do hear what you guys are saying
I'm just defending myself from spin and assumptions
I don't want you guys to agree with me,
I want you to give me constructive criticism
like snowqueen did on my theory of life
theories are meant to be explored and researched
that's why I've placed the theories I've collected throughout my life on here
so people could give me constructive criticism
not say I have my head up my ass and am fake and all this other shit...

 

[Toad]

You are full of yourself.

I'm tired of talking to you. You try my patience and drain my energy. Your J in that you can never admit you are wrong.

Don't worry, you will not hear a word from me from now on.

 

[Jennywocky]

On the plus side there are cookies. Admittedly browser cookies, but cookies nonetheless.

I hope they have large chocolately chunks in 'em.

(Although probably having chocolate in my browser cookie is really bad for my hard drive.)

I'm sorry I'm acting too self assured for a "noob".
I do hear what you guys are saying
I'm just defending myself from spin and assumptions
I don't want you guys to agree with me,
I want you to give me constructive criticism
like snowqueen did on my theory of life
theories are meant to be explored and researched
that's why I've placed the theories I've collected throughout my life on here
so people could give me constructive criticism
not say I have my head up my ass and am fake and all this other shit...

There wasn't really a lot of theory here, just a lot of general "life approach" suggestions.

Which is fine.

Like someone said, probably pretty helpful on the high school and young adult level, like a commencement address, which is cool... just not as helpful for people who are further along in life. I think it's great you've thought about things this much and are trying to get some perspective on life and collect some principles to guide you; I remember when I was in high school I felt like a lot of my peers were very shallow and unconcerned about the bigger meaning and aspects of life.

 

[Felan]

I hope they have large chocolately chunks in 'em.

(Although probably having chocolate in my browser cookie is really bad for my hard drive.)

As long as you aren't overclocking your computer should be cool enough to not melt the chocolate into a gooey mess and corrupt your hard drives.

 

[Jennywocky]

As long as you aren't overclocking your computer should be cool enough to not melt the chocolate into a gooey mess and corrupt your hard drives.

Oopsie.

... of course, my computer is three years old, it's virtually a dinosaur now and should probably be chucked.

 

[echoplex]

I agreed with 80% of that, which is short of your demand of 100%. I apologize and will try to agree with you more in the future.

And watch out, you may be an INTJ, which is an insult. INTJs are bad people who want to eat babies. Tell me, do you want to eat babies?

 

[Felan]

Oopsie.

... of course, my computer is three years old, it's virtually a dinosaur now and should probably be chucked.

Well maybe just avoid any bytes and go for nibbles and you will probably be able to get some chocolatey goodness and any mess can be swept away but a good defrag.

 

[Jennywocky]

Well maybe just avoid any bytes and go for nibbles and you will probably be able to get some chocolatey goodness and any mess can be swept away but a good defrag.

Additions to Stuff I've told myself to help self improve list:

- Defrag hard drive regularly
- Indulge in chocolatey goodness
- Don't stay on topic

I feel better already!

 

[Beat Mango]

I swear...you seem more like an INTJ. Go retake the test. There is no way an INTP can pay attention long enough on self improvement to implement this many tips.

Really? I'm massive on self-improvement. I think it could be an E thing though, it seems like a popular topic on the ENTP forum.

 

[Red Mage]

I have been holding onto this quote from Fritz Perls for a few years now, and I later found out that it's part of a mantra for a form of therapy he helped create. It goes:

"I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine."

I would like to try to actually live it, but it's too hard.

 

[Dentan]

You are full of yourself.

I'm tired of talking to you. You try my patience and drain my energy. Your J in that you can never admit you are wrong.

Don't worry, you will not hear a word from me from now on.

Can you just explain to me what I'm wrong on?
This advice is just my perspective for my path based on my experiences,
I'm not using faulty logic or anything,
I'm not saying you guys should do what I say
if how its written misled you on that I'm sorry
you keep on saying stuff and I have to keep on taking out the spin.

 

[Dentan]

Disregarding that this sentence reeks of arrogance,an attitude like this will prove,in most cases,the exact opposite.How can you know you are able of handling *any* given situation?And if you don't know for sure,how can you claim it?

Its more of a mindset that helps create a self fulfilling prophecy,
obviously you can't handle every situation,
the mindsets there to take away the normal self-consciousness introverts get.
I still make rational decisions based on the situation, It doesn't impair my judgment.
It just this feeling that I have present, I guess its my belief in myself, that makes me confident.

I dunno, I feel I'm good at being in control of my reality too.
I can use my social mirroring skills that INTP's have to fit another role.
The same skill I use to easily change my mindset and self improve.

and

echoplex, oh no I don't want to eat babies :O
Even if I don't like losing arguments and use my logic and structure to argue about false/misunderstood judgments.
And then start getting the whole argumentum ad hominem stuff which has been sorta annoying.
I like good debate though

 

[Oblivious]

Can you just explain to me what I'm wrong on?
This advice is just my perspective for my path based on my experiences,
I'm not using faulty logic or anything,
I'm not saying you guys should do what I say
if how its written misled you on that I'm sorry
you keep on saying stuff and I have to keep on taking out the spin.

You remember something in the OP about not caring about what other people say? This would be a good time since you would not be missing anything anyway.

What you said in the OP is your own opinion. No one has the right to judge that.

No. One.

 

[Toad]

I can judge you if I want. No, that doesn't make me an INTJ. If you post your beliefs or opinions, then expect to be judged by them. You say you like to follow "societies standards" and society likes to judge people by what they say, what they think, and their outer image. So I will do that to you and judge you. It is nothing personal that I have against you. Just your way of thinking.

Peace Out Oblivious...

 

[Dentan]

I can judge you if I want. No, that doesn't make me an INTJ. If you post your beliefs or opinions, then expect to be judged by them. You say you like to follow "societies standards" and society likes to judge people by what they say, what they think, and their outer image. So I will do that to you and judge you. It is nothing personal that I have against you. Just your way of thinking.

Peace Out Oblivious...

What you say is true,
let me rephrase what I want you to do.
Instead of quickly making assumptions about my life experiences and character,
you could ask me some questions about them so you could get the bigger picture and not jump to any conclusions too quick.
And I was like you until a couple weeks ago, one of the most objective brothers of my house helped me out with objectivity during an really long conversation.
He helped me realize that many of my assumptions hurt me instead of helping me out like I thought they would since they removed me from the truth of the matter.

 

[Ulysses]

let me rephrase what I want you to do.

Perhaps you should rephrase that as well.

 

[Dentan]

yeah that wasn't tactful, sorry

 

[sagewolf]

are you sure your not the INTJ here?
Your the one being the hater/judger here
I try to think of things objectively
even If I impose a structure of the world

This is a common misconception: a J preference does not mean someone is more inclined to be judgemental, only that they use their predominant Judging function (T/F, as opposed to N/S) in the outer world. INTJs are Js because they have auxiliary Extraverted Thinking. And the italicised statement sounds very like Te to me. I honestly think, after reading some of your posts, that you may be an INTJ, but that's okay, because INTJs are cool people, almost as cool as INFPs. (I'll withhold judgement, though, because you probably haven't settled in, and I have all of an hour's experience of you.)

Mostly good stuff, and the things I don't personally subscribe to I can't refute beyond "I wouldn't want to do that," so I won't bother. They are all pretty basic things, though.

 

[Dentan]

yeah this isn't special or anything,
just was curious people's reactions would be
(as most people here are INTPs)

Introverted (I) 53.49% Extroverted (E) 46.51%
Intuitive (N) 67.74% Sensing (S) 32.26%
Thinking (T) 75% Feeling (F) 25%
Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50%

Introverted (I) 68% Extraverted (E) 32%
Intuitive (N) 68% Sensing (S) 32%
Thinking (T) 65% Feeling (F) 35%
Perceiving (P) 73% Judging (J) 27%

ENTP
Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
1 100 62 11

interesting

 

[ChristopherL]

The truth is that people are stupid and the best thing to do is
a. treat them as if they mean nothing.
b. return whatever they dish out twofold, they likely deserve it.

in terms of politeness, I understand the need for politeness, the fact that people often do not does not surprise me.
I have a three strikes rule. I let you slide twice then you are dead to me.
If you were supposedly some sort of "friend" you will learn quickly that friendship is not something to be taken lightly. Respect me or go fuck yourself and your mother.

Some people expose themselves as worthless wastes of space quite quickly cut them out of your life and discard them as you would a cancer.

 

[ChristopherL]

I have accomplished all of those things without "putting my mind to it". I guess I have just achieved a higher form of self improvement than you and find everything you say to be naive and "for beginners" as some would say.

I mean come on. All your advice is so generic. A monkey could have figured them out.

I applaud you for trying. But you must go deeper!

Quit being a cunt.
No need to respond you've been added to ignore.

See how that works?

 

[Felan]

Come SlyGuy join me in the ranks of people ignored by ChristopherL!

 

[Toad]

Yea! I got some attention! I bet christopher wishes there was an ignore button for real life.

 

[Anthile]

This thread is going in a direction I cannot appreciate. Breathe deep and calm down.

 

[Prof_Pointless]

I say let the gladiators draw blood, who doesn't love a good show?

 

[Felan]

I say let the gladiators draw blood, who doesn't love a good show?

Gladiators? Where? Wait let me get popcorn.

 

[Grove]

Hey, I'm new to the group and I don't know the history of the personalities on this thread, but it seems to me that some are reacting to their past experiences with Dentan and not allowing themselves to be objective about the post. I'm not interested in pointing fingers or starting arguments, but to a new observer this thread has gotten aggressive and there aren't many clues as to why.
Dentan, I think this is a great list. Some have accused it of being simplistic or immature. Yeah…so? If it works then what does that matter? At risk of playing the "older/wiser" card, I can tell you from experience that dealing with other's personalities doesn't get much better after high school. People don't change that much, and the sooner you build up constructive mechanisms to deal with them the better. As far I could tell Dentan was not forcing anyone to adopt these ways, they were just put out there. If you don't like the list, fine. If you think it can be improved then improve it. If I’m completely off base then I apologize, I’m just calling this as I see it.

 

[Tyria]

Things that have helped me improve:

-question your beliefs. Question what you hold to be true
-try things out. You will find what you do and do not like quickly
-you can always change; don't close yourself in to always being the same
-strive for excellence, even when you don't get it you have done better than 'good enough'
-be nice to others. kind words you give may be the only ones they hear that day
-always try to be a little better each day; small improvements can make big changes
-always tell the people important to you what they mean to you
-keep an open mind
-give often and generously. it will make it easier and more natural
-do not be blind to other's suffering
-obstacles show us how much we want something; keep trying
-you might not always get what you want, but you can get what you need
-don't forget the cheesecake XD

 

[Concojones]

Things that helped me improve:
- go to that party/event. You'll be glad you did.

 

[Dentan]

thanks for the input Grove,
and I really like your list Crimson_Knight
will have to add it to my stuff

 

[Ogion]

Wow, didn't see this thread before. Interesting that the opening post got such arrogant and hypocritical responses. Yes, hypocritical, SlyGuy. You say all these things on the list come natural to you, yet all you can do in this thread is being an arrogant asshole? The only person that i saw in this thread that is 'full of themselves' is SlyGuy. Lol, irony...

I like you list, Dentan, for it indeed holds many things that are necessary for a harmonic social setting, since some of those points do not come natural (to everyone) and yet are good guidelines.
Also: However 'basic' something is, if it is useful/good then it's useful/good. Who cares about 'basic'?

Good addition, Crimson_Knight.

You may want to read Marcus Aurelius "Meditations". It has somewhat a similar structure (Telling what he learned in life) and is very interesting.

Ogion

 

[RubberDucky451]

I'm sticking to one thing, be thankful. That's all :]

One at a time!

 

[Dentan]

I'll have to check out Marcus Aurelius "Meditations", thanks for the plug Ogion

 

[quitejaded]

THE FEARRRRRRR!

That used to be a BIG motto of mine. "SHOOT THE FEAR IN THE FACE, JADED!!"

 

[cheese]

Have another slice of pizza. Go on. Have it.

Steal that beer. Go on. Steal it.

Write that post. Go on. Write it.


Fuck you, brain.