something to differentiate ENFJ and ESFJ, just a flighty impression from a few encounters:
ESFJ: Si-Ne: often likes to identify with specific things or quirks that can highlight their personal nature. they have a vibe to them which seems to say "oh, here i am, just little me doing my crazy little things" or something similar - especially when they get the chance to make introductions (unless the context is extremely formal), but also in day-to-day situations. they use this to defuse threats, in service of their Fe. on the up side it is modest, inclusive, warming, sympathetic and on the flip side it is ridiculous, self-devaluating, fake, morally irresponsible (maybe even pompous, depending on level of analysis). personally i lean toward the charitable interpretation.
they may also appear more open-minded than they are when push comes to shove, due to a competent Fe presentation of Ne.
ENFJ: Ni-Se: conversely, likes to get steeped in the flow of how things "just are, like, come on" and are highly dismissive of such quirky things that do not have a sense of urgency and action. they don't really believe in socialization just for the sake of it: they believe in express purpose, struggle, unity for a greater good. they are more honestly tolerant and appreciative of unpleasant emotions than ESFJ. they are less frightened of applying good vs. evil and making enemies, because they are more aware of contextual roles and they know that all things need not be personal.
they may appear more attuned to trends, conventions and contemporaneous facts than they actually are, due to competent Fe presentation of Se.