# Should I kill myself?

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#### annany27

##### Banned
I am a 27 year old Russian-American woman living in New York. I am currently a part-time student finishing my Bachelor's degree in Anthropology. I am graduating next semester. Unfortunately, my cumulative GPA is only a 2.5 because I screwed up my freshman and sophomore years of college. I have Asperger's syndrome and poor time management skills, which made it difficult for me to take a full course load each semester and get good grades in every course. I am interested in pursuing a career in biological anthropology, population genetics, forensic anthropology, archaeology, environmental science, climate change, sustainability, public health, neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, or animal behavior. I would like to kill myself because my horrible GPA would prevent me from getting a job. Unfortunately, employers look at GPA and transcripts to determine whether or not a candidate is qualified for a position. No one will care about the fact that I struggled in college due to my disability. I am so tired of being in school forever that I'm not going to stay an extra semester to raise my GPA. I am depressed and I don't have any friends anymore. During the weekends, I used to enjoy going to science lectures, bookstores, art museums, world music concerts, and hiking trips. Now, I stay alone in my room crying all the time. I am constantly thinking about methods to commit suicide, such as jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, drowning, poisoning myself, cutting myself with a knife, or being eaten by animals. Do you think that I should continue living or kill myself after graduating from college with a 2.5? I feel like my life is over.

#### annany27

##### Banned
How should I kill myself if I will end up graduating from college with a 2.5 GPA?

What are some good ways to commit suicide without feeling any pain? I am thinking about jumping off a bridge, jumping off a tall building, getting hit by a car, cutting myself with a knife, being eaten by animals, or poisoning myself.

#### Grayman

##### Team Ignorant
Re: How should I kill myself if I will end up graduating from college with a 2.5 GPA?

What are some good ways to commit suicide without feeling any pain? I am thinking about jumping off a bridge, jumping off a tall building, getting hit by a car, cutting myself with a knife, being eaten by animals, or poisoning myself.
Death will always be an option later. Life will not. Live as long as you can because there is plenty time for death and only so little for life.

Why do you consider these values you have placed as the importance of life?

#### Absurdity

##### Prolific Member

I don't think a bad GPA is something worth killing yourself over. At 27 you still have a long life left to live and shouldn't cut that short because you think things won't get better. Are there any professors or people in the field you can talk to? Any disability advocates who could help you find work in the fields you are interested in?

#### The Gopher

##### President
After the first job everyone ignores GPA (or so I have been told) so if you can get a job either through making connections or just getting in somehow it isn't a problem. 2.5 isn't super low if I understand the American system.

#### ProxyAmenRa

##### Here to bring back the love!
I am a 27 year old Russian-American woman living in New York. I am currently a part-time student finishing my Bachelor's degree in Anthropology. I am graduating next semester. Unfortunately, my cumulative GPA is only a 2.5 because I screwed up my freshman and sophomore years of college. I have Asperger's syndrome and poor time management skills, which made it difficult for me to take a full course load each semester and get good grades in every course. I am interested in pursuing a career in biological anthropology, population genetics, forensic anthropology, archaeology, environmental science, climate change, sustainability, public health, neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, or animal behavior. I would like to kill myself because my horrible GPA would prevent me from getting a job. Unfortunately, employers look at GPA and transcripts to determine whether or not a candidate is qualified for a position. No one will care about the fact that I struggled in college due to my disability. I am so tired of being in school forever that I'm not going to stay an extra semester to raise my GPA. I am depressed and I don't have any friends anymore. During the weekends, I used to enjoy going to science lectures, bookstores, art museums, world music concerts, and hiking trips. Now, I stay alone in my room crying all the time. I am constantly thinking about methods to commit suicide, such as jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, drowning, poisoning myself, cutting myself with a knife, or being eaten by animals. Do you think that I should continue living or kill myself after graduating from college with a 2.5? I feel like my life is over.
I am sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. You have my sympathies. Many of us on this backwater forum have struggled through difficult periods. We know what it feels like. The first question I would like to ask you is do you have any close friends or family that you can confide with? Find someone that you can open up to and ask for help. If the person exists, call them immediately. If not, we have a very kind and generous community here and I sure some people will be willing to lend a helping hand. Many of us regularly talk with each on Skype and we will be more than willing to accept you as a member of our community.

Now there're many organizations in your area that are set up to help people going through difficult periods. Don't afraid to contact them. They're there to help.

As for you GPA, it is not the end of the world. I epically failed the first couple years of highschool and now I am studying a PhD. There're always avenues you can take to get you to where you want to go. You can most definitely identify these avenues when you're feeling better.

#### Grayman

##### Team Ignorant
@annany

After the first job everyone ignores GPA (or so I have been told) so if you can get a job either through making connections or just getting in somehow it isn't a problem. 2.5 isn't super low if I understand the American system.
I agree with this. ^^

College, itself is not as important as one would think. If school is needed, you could find a trade school. Such things are specific to what you want to accomplish and if you are good at that one thing, you will do much better than going to college where they force you to learn so much more than is needed to accomplish your goals in a career. In many trade schools such things like GPA do not even exist. You are recognized for your abilities and your efforts.

#### TheHabitatDoctor

##### Banned
If your GPA is screwed up because of your freshmen and sophomore years, it shouldn't matter because most advanced courses are taken in your junior and senior years. Most employers will actually recognize this.

Your resume should consist of your degree and experiences (internships, volunteer work, field work, grants, publications, professional affiliations, etc), not numbers (GPA).

Otherwise I agree with Gopher in post 5. Work your way up. The past is beyond your control. There's no point in worrying about it.

#### Pugsly

##### something witty
I am interested in pursuing a career in biological anthropology, population genetics, forensic anthropology, archaeology, environmental science, climate change, sustainability, public health, neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, or animal behavior. I would like to kill myself because my horrible GPA would prevent me from getting a job. Unfortunately, employers look at GPA and transcripts to determine whether or not a candidate is qualified for a position.
So

1. Don't kill yourself. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

2. Figure out what you really want to do and pursue it. The long laundry list of fairly unrelated jobs makes me think you don't really have that focus, and that is going to be much more of an issue than GPA. Do you even want to be an anthropologist? Did you do internships / co-ops? What did you like / not like?

#### DrGregoryHouse

##### Banned
I've never even heard of an employer caring about a GPA. I'm sure there are circumstances but nope...never even heard of it happening.

Don't kill yourself. All that work to get that degree and then you just end it? C'mon you are better than that. Besides you never know where life will take you.

Plus life does not = academic BS.

INTPs and Aspies have much in common. An aspie is typically one of the coolest earthlings around. I'm jealous. I'll bet you are so unique and interesting there isn't anyone within a 20 mile radius who is like you at all (out of tens of millions).

Reach out to anyone you can. Speak up. More people around you will want to help than won't want to help.

Maybe you have wrapped up your own self worth too much within academia? Academia is a twisted warped dimension of intellectual circle jerking by semi-intelligent mass conformists.

If I lived close (I don't) I'd invite you over for a spot of tea and perhaps we could play some board games or something.

Don't despair. This planet needs more aspies not less. It needs less 'normals'.

Perhaps you need to live out in the quiet country and get the heck out of New York City. Yuck I couldn't imagine living there. The sights, smells, sounds all overload my senses when I've visited. Yuck yuck yuck. I literally had a panic attack near Times square once.

There is a chance you need to be living someplace less nasty concrete jungle stressful.

You owe it to yourself to at least try a move before you do anything more drastic.

If you want to progress in academia with a 2.5 GPA there is still hope anyways. Especially in the fields you express interest in.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I don't have any work experience in anthropology yet. I volunteered at a behavioral neuroscience lab during my junior year and I loved it. I also volunteered as an administrative assistant at a hospital and as a grant writer for a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating the public about autism. I would like to apply for the anthropology internship at the Museum of Natural History, but I'm scared I'll get rejected because of my mediocre GPA. It is so hard to find a job right now that students with 3.6 GPAs are getting rejected from internships. I don't want to work in retail or McDonalds after graduation. I feel like suicide is my only option.

#### Latte

##### Preferably Not Redundant
Preved Medved.

First of all, *hug*

I have been where you might currently are. Where what is deemed the acceptable way for life to go is no longer available. Where one's future seems cut off. Where the train breaks down before getting to its destination.

The only thing that helped me was to change my expectations and ideas of what is an acceptable future. It was and still is difficult, but the path one imagines isn't necessarily the only path where one can be content. To languish in despair over things not being as one wished they would be blinds one to the good that can lie in the opportunities that still exist.
If you can think of opportunities where you can feel relief or content, at least for now, I would recommend trying them out and seeking what wellbeing you can find from them.

Despair is difficult to defeat entirely. Especially when it has grown deep roots in one's psyche.
When one is lonely it is amplified even further, and the world grows dark and unfriendly.

Some people do commit suicide. If you are not one of them, then maybe you'll post and take part in this forum, which would be great. At least for me. Because judging from how you write, you seem like an interesting person to hear the perspectives of.

I suspect that on some level, this thread is you making contact. Trying to see if you can find something good to hold on to. That you are considering killing yourself, but you would rather prefer not to... yet you need some indicator and idea of how your world can change and be better.

For now, you may put yourself into a trance staring at

#### DrGregoryHouse

##### Banned
I don't have any work experience in anthropology yet. I volunteered at a behavioral neuroscience lab during my junior year and I loved it. I also volunteered as an administrative assistant at a hospital and as a grant writer for a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating the public about autism. I would like to apply for the anthropology internship at the Museum of Natural History, but I'm scared I'll get rejected because of my mediocre GPA. It is so hard to find a job right now that students with 3.6 GPAs are getting rejected from internships. I don't want to work in retail or McDonalds after graduation. I feel like suicide is my only option.
There are literally millions of options for you besides working at McDonalds. I'd kill myself, too if that were my only option.

Why not start off by telling yourself that working at McDonalds is not an option, then? This is totally reasonable. No one is going to force you to work at such a nightmarish place. Even as bad as the police force is in the US these days.

Do you have any friends or family who live close to you?

#### not

##### Active Member
I have thought of it before. Several times. Usually the impossible situation ends up not being so bad and I find a way around the situation. I never worked at McDonalds, but I did end up at Pizza Hut at age 29. Even worse, I had moved back to my home town and I delivered pizzas to people I went to high school with. In that situation I didn't get stuck thinking about how shitty it is to work in fast food. I started to challenge myself. I created a database. I'd keep track of demographic information. Who tipped well? What neighborhoods tipped better on the whole? Who responded to canvasing? etc... I did this because it interested me. All of my colleagues were barely out of high school. One was selling weed out of the bathroom. I was an enigma to my manager. He told me I was the best employee he ever had. (Not hard to believe actually) - I turned down his offer to be his assistant manager. Instead I sold him my database for a half a year's wages, and I moved on... Working at McDonalds is only a shitty thing if you never grow from the experience. Frankly I can think of things much worse. - You have many interests. Typical to INTPs. Pick the one that both interests you but doesn't require a GPA... (Hint, nothing government related) The public sector is really the only sector that cares about GPA...

#### Duxwing

##### I've Overcome Existential Despair
*hugs* I've been there, too. If you feel like you can't achieve your dreams, then everything else seems meaningless, and suicide feels rational. Yet everything else besides your dreams is not meaningless, as you know from going to science lectures, book stores, and the like; even without your dreams, you could conceivably enjoy something. And your dreams are achievable if you accept that you sometimes cannot achieve perfection--that the good must be taken with the bad and neutral into a cohesive whole. For more, see "Splitting" on Wikipedia.

-Duxwing

#### kaelum

##### Member
I am a 27 year old Russian-American woman living in New York. I am currently a part-time student finishing my Bachelor's degree in Anthropology. I am graduating next semester. Unfortunately, my cumulative GPA is only a 2.5 because I screwed up my freshman and sophomore years of college. I have Asperger's syndrome and poor time management skills, which made it difficult for me to take a full course load each semester and get good grades in every course. I am interested in pursuing a career in biological anthropology, population genetics, forensic anthropology, archaeology, environmental science, climate change, sustainability, public health, neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, or animal behavior. I would like to kill myself because my horrible GPA would prevent me from getting a job. Unfortunately, employers look at GPA and transcripts to determine whether or not a candidate is qualified for a position. No one will care about the fact that I struggled in college due to my disability. I am so tired of being in school forever that I'm not going to stay an extra semester to raise my GPA. I am depressed and I don't have any friends anymore. During the weekends, I used to enjoy going to science lectures, bookstores, art museums, world music concerts, and hiking trips. Now, I stay alone in my room crying all the time. I am constantly thinking about methods to commit suicide, such as jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, drowning, poisoning myself, cutting myself with a knife, or being eaten by animals. Do you think that I should continue living or kill myself after graduating from college with a 2.5? I feel like my life is over.
I'm not great with emotion, so I don't know how to address your serious feelings, but all I can say is that I hope you explore all your interests before losing hope. Be willing to ask professors for advice and help.
I can't speak for anthropology, but I've recently worked in public health for the DOHMH of NYC (I've since moved on to an unrelated field even though I enjoyed the work---I needed a few years to weigh my wide ranging interests.)
If you are still interested in public health, consider applying to health departments for work. Their priorities are your attitude towards work and the public and whether you have the physical and biological sciences background in your degree-----not GPA. Feel free to message me if you are interested in talking more/meeting up, etc.

#### Cognisant

##### Condescending Bastard
Hire the best Batman costume you can, spray/stencil "Regards, you're friendly neighborhood Spiderman" on the chestplate, don costume, try to land near a comic book store.

The entire world will hear about it.

#### The Gopher

##### President
Well yeah as Cog said if you do come to that conclusion make it interesting! (and if you do spend the time doing everything fun or that you enjoy/wouldn't have done before hand) No point not to.

#### Reluctantly

##### Resident disMember
Yeah, I have an electrical Engineering degree with about a 3.0 GPA and a lot of places won't even talk to me unless it's 3.25. That's why I joined the Army. It sucks and I have to spend a lot of time doing shit that I find really annoying, but in the long run I'll get a nice civilian job doing what I wanted to do to begin with (at least $60,000/year and if I find the right connections$100,000+/year working over seas).

So I figured it was better to work a shitty job with good future prospects than to work somewhere like Mcdonald's or UPS and have no future. The Army will also pay for me to get a Masters; I'll probably get it in something related to accounting. Money is something that's always been very important to me.

And if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure I'm on the autistic spectrum and I have serious issues with my gender (I identify as a female emotionally and sexually, which is very frustrating in a lot of ways).

Sometimes I do think it would be easier just to die, but then again, if I'm smart about what I do, I can have financial freedom and deal with my gender issues in the next ten years and I'm pretty sure it will be worth the wait because if I'm dead, I'll never experience what it feels like to be myself and to have the freedom to be myself. I envy rich people that seem to know who they are and what they love/enjoy.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I'm not sure how I could deal with my low undergrad GPA when searching for jobs. It's sad that a lot of employers judge college grads based on grades and test scores, and don't look beyond that. I am going to apply for jobs at various different institutions in NYC including university research labs in physical anthropology/molecular biology/population genetics/neuroscience, museums, archaeological research centers, wildlife conservation societies, nonprofit organizations dealing with human rights and sustainable development, schools, libraries, social media companies, and even banks. Does anyone know which of these institutions would less likely care about a GPA?

#### ProxyAmenRa

##### Here to bring back the love!
What is your field of expertise?

#### annany27

##### Banned
My field of expertise is human evolution, paleoanthropology, and prehistoric archaeology. I'm also knowledgeable about cognitive and behavioral neuroscience because I volunteered at a neuroscience lab during my junior year. Right now, I am fascinated with economics, especially decision making using game theory, and I'm thinking about a possible career in banking. I am also thinking about working for the Environmental Protection Agency because I'm interested in climate change policy, but they will probably look at GPA.

#### Cherry Cola

##### Banned
You sound like you do have a drive to succeed despite the fact that things aren't easy for you, I think that gives you a pretty good chance to pull through in the end. As people have pointed out already, 25 isn't that low; moreover even it might be hell landing your first job you'll be alright thereafter!

This isn't worth throwing your life away over, even if it's hard try to think of all that you'll be missing out on, and remember that those close to you will also suffer should you chose to call it quits.

I think you sound lonely too, I really recommend to try and get some help in real life, that you're considering suicide means your issues are of a severity more than warranting seeking help!

#### r4ch3l

##### conc/ptu/||/
Unfortunately, my cumulative GPA is only a 2.5 because I screwed up my freshman and sophomore years of college. I have Asperger's syndrome and poor time management skills, which made it difficult for me to take a full course load each semester and get good grades in every course.
This sounds a lot like me/my college experience. I started college having no clue what I wanted to do and failed quite a few classes early on because I had no direction and was struggling with some personal issues. Graduated with a 2.9 GPA at age 25 only because I took so many classes. My sister has HFA and I have had many symptoms of Asperger's from a young age but decided not to pursue a diagnosis as an adult because...it does not matter. I will still be me and I have to work with what I have.

I would like to kill myself because my horrible GPA would prevent me from getting a job. Unfortunately, employers look at GPA and transcripts to determine whether or not a candidate is qualified for a position.
I had thoughts like this when I graduated. Everything seemed impossible and I blamed myself for getting a useless degree/GPA and not doing the "right thing(s)" in the past. Just know that many people feel this way when they are transitioning from college to full-time employment. Sooooo many people I know who are doing great in their 30s have told me how hard the period after graduation was and that they had to slog through some less-than-ideal jobs/situations initially, but that it gets better if you keep at it.

I am so tired of being in school forever that I'm not going to stay an extra semester to raise my GPA.
For now. You could take a break and then go back part time to bump your GPA up.

I am depressed and I don't have any friends anymore. During the weekends, I used to enjoy going to science lectures, bookstores, art museums, world music concerts, and hiking trips. Now, I stay alone in my room crying all the time.
I understand, and I was in your exact position not so long ago. I felt like nothing in the world would ever make me happy again. I decided to move into a community. While I tend to dislike being around people all the time it has really, really helped me. I was scared to death when I moved in and thought I would not be able to handle it but the experience has shown me how arrogant I have been my whole life in thinking I don't need others. We all do.

Wish I lived closer so we could meet up and just talk. Are you just not in contact with your friends anymore? I am very proud/aloof and hate being vulnerable with other people so I understand how hard reaching out can be.... but getting in contact with people from your old circle and saying you'd like to spend more time with them/need someone to talk to would probably help a lot. If you want to have friends, be a friend...

#### pernoctator

##### a bearded robocop
It's sad that a lot of employers judge college grads based on grades and test scores, and don't look beyond that.
Given that the vast majority has been to college and has roughly the same scores, it is impossible for them to not look beyond that. Everyone has a hell of a time making themselves look unique, whether they have high scores or not. You have the benefit here of having a fairly obvious uniqueness in the form of your so-called disability, which includes traits that would be very beneficial to your employers. It may make you a bad student, but you are not applying to be a student (and academia is a horribly inaccurate model of life). It's a matter of articulating this in a resume or, if you get an internship (which is probably not as hard as you are imagining), they can experience it first-hand.

What does your resume look like? If it is just a summary of work and school history, they would have no choice but to make a judgement based on that. Consider not mentioning your academic performance at all. Write about what you have learned in your life (whether it was learned in school or not), and refer to yourself as an "expert" where appropriate.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I include my coursework and volunteer experience on my resume. Yes, it's true that employers judge candidates based on their GPAs especially when they are fresh out of college. Most research centers in New York City won't even consider hiring someone who graduated with a sub 3.0 GPA. Maybe I could find an agency that provides job placement for college grads with disabilities, or create my own startup related to my interests.

#### Duxwing

##### I've Overcome Existential Despair
I include my coursework and volunteer experience on my resume. Yes, it's true that employers judge candidates based on their GPAs especially when they are fresh out of college. Most research centers in New York City won't even consider hiring someone who graduated with a sub 3.0 GPA. Maybe I could find an agency that provides job placement for college grads with disabilities, or create my own startup related to my interests.
The world can be bright: you're on the right track!

-Duxwing

#### annany27

##### Banned
I will definitely kill myself if graduating with a 2.5 GPA means that I'll be forever doomed to flipping burgers at McDonalds or working at Walmart.

#### Grayman

##### Team Ignorant
I will definitely kill myself if graduating with a 2.5 GPA means that I'll be forever doomed to flipping burgers at McDonalds or working at Walmart.
The only person who can doom you is yourself. The moment you give up is the moment you fail.

Tell me. Why this negativity toward McDonalds and Walmart? These are just jobs. Passions can be pursued outside of work.

#### Nick

##### Frozen Fighter
hey @annany27 I work in and out of NYC and live on that long island next to manhattan.
If you want to meet up and talk about the nonsensical world, I'm open to that. Although I have to warn you, I do have Finnish citizenship, and I know our countries did and still do hate each other, but from what I see, we're both American now.

#### pernoctator

##### a bearded robocop
I include my coursework and volunteer experience on my resume. Yes, it's true that employers judge candidates based on their GPAs especially when they are fresh out of college. Most research centers in New York City won't even consider hiring someone who graduated with a sub 3.0 GPA. Maybe I could find an agency that provides job placement for college grads with disabilities, or create my own startup related to my interests.
Most graduates fresh out of college have nothing but their college to show for themselves, so it's not surprising so many of them are filtered out so easily. The GPA is just a convenient filter when dealing with a large number of applicants. If you can make yourself stand out before they have a chance to consider your grades, they won't need to fall back on it. From what you've written, your experience and knowledge extends far beyond coursework and what falls under the label of "work experience". This is uncommon, and a definite selling point.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I am a well-rounded person because I read a lot of books and articles outside of school. I'm currently reading an evolutionary biology textbook for fun and Joel Cohen's "How Many People Can the Earth Support?". I just finished reading "The Greening of America" by Charles A. Reich.

#### Milo

##### Brain Programmer
Learning how to sweet talk an interview can get you a long ways. Learning how to spice up your cover letter and resume can give your interviewer a little confirmation bias towards liking you before even meeting you.

I think your observations on the job market are a bit pessimistic. You definitely won't be hired at McDonald's with a degree because they'll assume you're over qualified and know in the back of their minds that you would be looking for other jobs.

Learn to read between the lines and you'll be far more successful than the people with higher GPAs--because they've more likely than not learned to rely solely on their reputations and not their ability to strategize on the fly.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I am thinking about going to Rockaway Beach next summer and drowning. It is a quick and painless way to end my life.

#### Hawkeye

##### Banned
All because of a poor GPA?

Silly in my opinion, but then again... I don't know all the facts.

#### annany27

##### Banned
Yes, because graduating from college with a 2.5 GPA is the end of the world.

#### Hawkeye

##### Banned
Yes, because graduating from college with a 2.5 GPA is the end of the world.
I failed my first degree. Instead of doing my exams in the second year, I went to Amsterdam with a bunch of strangers I met online and got high as a kite. Totally stupid thing to do, but awesome too. ^^

I worked my ass off during the resits, but got screwed over by the university. They altered my contract during the resits which meant no matter how good my grades were, I could never get a high enough mark to qualify.

I had my honours stripped from the degree making it essentially as useful as toilet paper. After that I thought "what's the point?" and ended up failing on purpose.

However, I am no worse off than friends of mine that actually graduated.

I'm not saying that it will be the same for you, but you can't base your entire life on a crummy piece of paper.

It really isn't the end of the world, it only seems that way.

That being said, I'm not going to try and stop you; you control your own life.

#### Kuu

##### Galactic acid
Yes, because graduating from college with a 2.5 GPA is the end of the world.
I really expected the end of the world to be more interesting...

Seriously, wallowing in your self misery will achieve nothing, neither will killing yourself.

#### annany27

##### Banned
Then maybe I should go to a state park in Upstate New York and eat poisonous berries or mushrooms. Would that be better than drowning?

#### TimeAsylums

##### Prolific Member
Then maybe I should go to a state park in Upstate New York and eat poisonous berries or mushrooms. Would that be better than drowning?
gasoline burns hot and it burns fast, saying he didn't move or scream is irrelevant, once he was lit he didn't have the time, the ignition temperature of gasoline is ~280*C (30*C is average internal temp for the human body, 50*C is a lethal if your temp isn't brought down ASAP, 100*C is the boiling point of water) and that's the minimum temperature gasoline burns at, covered in it from head to toe he would have flash-boiled to death long before the sensation of heat ever reached his brain.
^if you also feel so altruistic, even do it in the name of some cause.

#### Hawkeye

##### Banned
Then maybe I should go to a state park in Upstate New York and eat poisonous berries or mushrooms. Would that be better than drowning?
You'll never beat "death by orgasm".

#### xbox

##### Prolific Member
I don't have any work experience in anthropology yet. I volunteered at a behavioral neuroscience lab during my junior year and I loved it. I also volunteered as an administrative assistant at a hospital and as a grant writer for a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating the public about autism. I would like to apply for the anthropology internship at the Museum of Natural History, but I'm scared I'll get rejected because of my mediocre GPA. It is so hard to find a job right now that students with 3.6 GPAs are getting rejected from internships. I don't want to work in retail or McDonalds after graduation. I feel like suicide is my only option.
Nah its not your only option.. You need to first learn not to connect your life's worth to your GPA and ability to get work. There's more to life than work. You may just need some time off from school to clear your head, find hobbies, make friends, network, etc. Enjoy your life.

#### TheHabitatDoctor

##### Banned
Then maybe I should go to a state park in Upstate New York and eat poisonous berries or mushrooms. Would that be better than drowning?
For the record, you'd probably live through that. 99% of the time in the world of botany, "poisonous" is code for explosive diarrhea and vomiting, not death.

#### Coolydudey

##### You could say that.
You are in a depressive loop of poor logic. A GPA of 2.5 is not great but in the real world things aren't as simple as A implies B. At the very least, give yourself some time after graduating to see if things really turn out as bad as they think they will, and if they do, at least you will have more of a sound reason to kill yourself.

Also, you mentioned that you didn't want to stay another semester. You are not motivated in life right now. Do you know anyone high-energy that could help give you some strength?

In any case, it's your decision. But if you do make it through here, you really will appreciate life that much more. Commiting suicide over a situation you think you're going to have to endure is a bit far-fetched, so if you are going to commit suicide, don't do it yet.

Also, look at my sig

#### Cherry Cola

##### Banned
Don't commit suicide. But if you do don't poison yourself so that you fuck your liver and kidneys and then end up spending a month in severe pain with plenty of time to regret your decision before you finally die.

#### annany27

##### Banned
I've read that Bradley Voytek, an assistant professor of computational cognitive science at USCD, somehow managed to get into a PhD program with an abysmal undergrad GPA. I don't know how this was possible.

#### NoID10ts

##### aka Noddy
@annany27, if you're having serious thoughts of suicide, get professional help. Call a suicide help line, see a school counselor, or whatever you have to do. I've been close to the brink myself and it helps to talk to someone who understands the intricacies of it. Most people don't understand suicidal thoughts and can't sympathize with them because they aren't normal thoughts. People on internet forums don't know know you, they don't fully appreciate your situation, and almost certainly aren't qualified to offer sound advice.

Seriously, wallowing in your self misery will achieve nothing, neither will killing yourself.
In my experience, this is one of the shittiest kinds of things to say to someone struggling with depression, especially if they're suicidal. They're already in a downward spiral of shame and low self-esteem and this kind of sentiment further perpetuates it. If they could just turn off the gloom, they would. Further shaming them for how they feel only makes it worse. I grew up hearing this kind of stuff from my own parents.

#### Cherry Cola

##### Banned
Mhm, the whole "shape up" thing is something you say to someone under a temporary downer or someone who's in the early stages of depression, not a full blown suicidal.

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