QuickTwist's Discontent

[QuickTwist]

I'm fucking sick of being the odd man out. Every fucking place I go, people treat me like I'm fucking elephant man. God sucks eggs.

 

[Helvete]

I haven't noticed anything about the way in which you receive responses compared to other users and I have only seen you in the context of this medium so my date is limited. Perhaps it's a perception issue in regards to how you're seeing yourself?
Also this forum tends to attract people who don't 'fit in' easily or feel particularly at ease in social situations. I know I don't, or even feel I can connect with people here in a number of ways. I can also see a lot of these disparities as being mutual and don't feel alienated by them. I may be sipping from the wrong vessel here but what are your thoughts on this? If it's something else altogether then where do you think these disparities are emerging?

What evidence can you provide to support your final statement of God sucking eggs?

 

[Hadoblado]

Fixed title.

Do you feel this way about everywhere including this forum, or excluding this forum?

 

[QuickTwist]

I haven't noticed anything about the way in which you receive responses compared to other users and I have only seen you in the context of this medium so my date is limited. Perhaps it's a perception issue in regards to how you're seeing yourself?
Also this forum tends to attract people who don't 'fit in' easily or feel particularly at ease in social situations. I know I don't, or even feel I can connect with people here in a number of ways. I can also see a lot of these disparities as being mutual and don't feel alienated by them. I may be sipping from the wrong vessel here but what are your thoughts on this? If it's something else altogether then where do you think these disparities are emerging?

What evidence can you provide to support your final statement of God sucking eggs?

I don't even fucking know and that's the worst fucking part. I just feel utterly rejected by society as a whole and its no wonder I can't drag myself out of the house to go to a "party" or some shit. This introversion thing is really a kick in the nuts. Also, Sensors make no fucking sense whatsoever. Same with feelers. I can get along ok with Judgers and perceivers. Anyways, there is clearly some other shit I am going through that I can't nail down and deal with at this time, which is also a kick in the nuts. I don't have friends because I can't for the life of me, bring myself to actually care to do small talk, even enough to get to know people, its just shit. No one gets my jokes either, but the worst part is Everyone fucking loves me at the place I volunteer at, but I've already failed pretty hardcore at making friends with anyone there cuz I don't give a shit about shooting the breeze so people ask me yes no questions like its actually going to amount to anything. Plus, I generally don't like people, but still feel this irrational need to want to connect with people, which as I mentioned, isn't happening currently. I mean, fuck, I should have realized that I was a social retard when my friend asked why I liked (and silently judged) certain bands/songs that he fucking owned and acted like I was a leper for having that taste in music. Oddly enough (or maybe not) he types himself as INFJ, and I'm actually pretty sure he could fit that bill. Weirdest guy I have met irl hands down.

IDK, I had an appointment with my psychologist today and maybe this is actually a breakthrough I am having, but fuck if it isn't painful now. He said I should do whatever necessary to engage with the outside world more. I tried another site (as well as work) with no luck or no progress today. The other site is full of sensors who don't even fucking acknowledge me. I mean when it came to the type thread (on the other site) no one thought I was a iNtuitive, but clearly with the way they talk about celebrities I feel like I am literally getting dumber listening to them. No one gives a shit about big ideas (however impractical) and the best thread I have come across there talking to people who are not as low brow was a God thread... and even then I didn't see a single thing I haven't seen before... really depressing. No offense to this site, but I feel this site is also somewhat of an offender of lack of new content (far better than the new one though, or at least, the info here is actually interesting to read and there are some really good threads too).

 

[QuickTwist]

Fixed title.

Do you feel this way about everywhere including this forum, or excluding this forum?

Everywhere, but not always. Sometimes (most the time) I am perfectly content just letting the world forget about me.

 

[Intolerable]

It's most likely a perception issue.

People are by nature distracted. It can seem on the surface of it that people are intentionally ignoring you but it's more likely they are doing something else. Far more likely.

It's much worse today with smart phones. When I have lunch with coworkers they're always fucking around on their phones during lunch time when we're sitting at a restaurant. You'd think that would be the place to actually look someone eye to eye for a conversation. Not so.

I don't wholly fault them. I'd say the vast majority of the time I feel buggered when someone out of the blue calls my name or rings my phone. Fuck it. Life is incredibly short and there is way too much to do.

It makes me wonder though. About my priorities.

 

[Sinny91]

I just feel utterly rejected by society as a whole

Society 'as a whole' is pretty fucked up.. so I'd take that as a plus.

and its no wonder I can't drag myself out of the house to go to a "party" or some shit.

I think you need to nail the 'friend' thing before you nail the 'party' thing.

This introversion thing is really a kick in the nuts.

meh, I had a 'hermit' year... I've recently come out my shell again.
It's taken will and discipline to get here.

Also, Sensors make no fucking sense whatsoever. Same with feelers.

Some of them do, you just need to find them.

I can get along ok with Judgers and perceivers. Anyways, there is clearly some other shit I am going through that I can't nail down and deal with at this time, which is also a kick in the nuts.

I don't have friends because I can't for the life of me, bring myself to actually care to do small talk, even enough to get to know people, its just shit.

That's a social skill which you're going to have to acquire at some point or another.

No one gets my jokes either, but the worst part is Everyone fucking loves me at the place I volunteer at, but I've already failed pretty hardcore at making friends with anyone there cuz I don't give a shit about shooting the breeze so people ask me yes no questions like its actually going to amount to anything.

Boring.. Why don't you inject some personality. Lead by example.

Plus, I generally don't like people, but still feel this irrational need to want to connect with people, which as I mentioned, isn't happening currently.

Sounds like it is happening, to me.

I mean, fuck, I should have realized that I was a social retard when my friend asked why I liked (and silently judged) certain bands/songs that he fucking owned and acted like I was a leper for having that taste in music. Oddly enough (or maybe not) he types himself as INFJ, and I'm actually pretty sure he could fit that bill. Weirdest guy I have met irl hands down.

IDK, I had an appointment with my psychologist today and maybe this is actually a breakthrough I am having, but fuck if it isn't painful now. He said I should do whatever necessary to engage with the outside world more. I tried another site (as well as work)

Lol, 'engage with the outside world more', and you hop straight onto the internet?

with no luck or no progress today. The other site is full of sensors who don't even fucking acknowledge me.

You're oozing negative's judgments about people... Maybe you're just oozing negativity. People can pick up one that, especially those Intuitive's who you are so eager to attract. .

I mean when it came to the type thread (on the other site) no one thought I was a iNtuitive,

Dude, if we can't even type you over here.. How do you expect a 'bunch of stupid sensors' to? You've been there what, a day or something?

but clearly with the way they talk about celebrities I feel like I am literally getting dumber listening to them. No one gives a shit about big ideas (however impractical) and the best thread I have come across there talking to people who are not as low brow was a God thread... and even then I didn't see a single thing I haven't seen before... really depressing.

No offense to this site, but I feel this site is also somewhat of an offender of lack of new content (far better than the new one though, or at least, the info here is actually interesting to read and there are some really good threads too).

Well this site, just like most others, is user based content.. Be the example you wish to see.

I personally wouldn't mind seeing a few threads on anything from 'stupid breeds of dog'... to Fukishima.

Whenever I feel like every aspect of life is going wrong.. or is fucking stupid.... I'm forced to look at the common denominator amongst all my perceived problems... Lo and behold, that would be me.

 

[QuickTwist]

OK, this is going to sound weird to any healthy minded individual but here goes.

Last night while I was trying to sleep I feel like I had a vision of my birth. Not so much was it was like for me, but for what it was like for my mother during birth. I could tell that she was completely enraged, like completely psycho - I mean nuts with rage. You see I had a messy birth, it was not pretty. There was no C section, but I nearly tore my mother in half when she had me. She wanted to have me as fast as possible and pushed like it depended on her life - literally. That caused her to get severed rather severely and she got 40 stitches as a result. So she was utterly deranged about having me and was enraged as a result. I mean, I have seen here mad before, but it was nothing like what I saw in this vision. My question is, what the hell does this mean? It scared the shit out of me actually.

 

[QuickTwist]

I feel like all of this has to do with the psychologist appointment I had with my psychologist yesterday. It was open in a way that I have not experienced in a phych apptmt before. It was a pretty eye opening experience. I'm not sure what inceptions he put in me but clearly I am seeing things in a different light now.

 

[Nofriends]

You sound quite negative, if you want to make friends start off by fixing your mentality, once you have done that work on small things like body language, posture, tone of voice, aesthetics, interests, interpersonal skills, etc. This would likely be easier if you started having a healthy diet, fixing your circadian rhythm, exercising daily, smiling, meditating, etc.

If you are not interested in having 'superficial' friendships still adopt some of the aforementioned changes but focus more on your interests, then use the knowledge acquired from those interests to form connections with like-minded individuals.
Alternatively, you could start playing an MMO and form/join a clan/guild.

 

[QuickTwist]

I don't want to come off as ungrateful for people's thought on this. There's still something that is going on in my psyche, but its not just about being the odd man out. I keep having these very strong premonitions about life (in general) and how utterly small we are compared to the cosmos. Like I literally "felt" the weight of the idea that we are so insignificant its not even funny. It was kinda terrifying tbh. I also felt the knowledge that once we die, that's it, game over, and its was a very eye opening experience. It always happens the same way: I am laying down trying to sleep and suddenly these premonitions come to me.. Its weird.

But again, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and wishes for well being, it is appreciated.

 

[Intolerable]

The fear of death for me ended in my twenties. Once I got a taste of true adulthood, of managing life and work from one minute to the next with major obligations then death started to look better.

Throw physical ailments in there as you age and yep, I can see wanting to die.

Perspective is a huge factor. Again I think this might boil down to perspective you just don't have right now.

 

[Nofriends]

I don't want to come off as ungrateful for people's thought on this. There's still something that is going on in my psyche, but its not just about being the odd man out. I keep having these very strong premonitions about life (in general) and how utterly small we are compared to the cosmos. Like I literally "felt" the weight of the idea that we are so insignificant its not even funny. It was kinda terrifying tbh. I also felt the knowledge that once we die, that's it, game over, and its was a very eye opening experience. It always happens the same way: I am laying down trying to sleep and suddenly these premonitions come to me.. Its weird.

But again, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and wishes for well being, it is appreciated.

Just because the cosmos is huge does not mean we are "so insignificant", the human race is capable of making incredible technological advancements.
Also, that knowledge concerning death is futile, given that we exist in a universe of infinite possibilities.

 

[Sinny91]

I don't want to come off as ungrateful for people's thought on this. There's still something that is going on in my psyche, but its not just about being the odd man out. I keep having these very strong premonitions about life (in general) and how utterly small we are compared to the cosmos. Like I literally "felt" the weight of the idea that we are so insignificant its not even funny. It was kinda terrifying tbh. I also felt the knowledge that once we die, that's it, game over, and its was a very eye opening experience. It always happens the same way: I am laying down trying to sleep and suddenly these premonitions come to me.. Its weird.

Oh I'll never forget when I had that feeling (and visions) whilst I was high on solvents.. was traumatising.