Personality Change from Emotional Trauma?

[Sensi Star]

I've noticed a social-related change after the sudden death of a parent. Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased. It's not that I've become more extraverted, or that I'm more comfortable around people than before. But I'm feeling the need to spend time (more frequently) with the very few close friends I have.

I used to only need to see friends once or twice a week to prevent loneliness, but now I crave it every day or other day. This is actually undesirable because my number of friends is small and the ones I do have can't hang out as often as I'd like.

What's this all about, is it just part of the healing process or what? Anyone else notice this.

 

[Duxwing]

I've noticed a social-related change after the sudden death of a parent. Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased. It's not that I've become more extraverted, or that I'm more comfortable around people than before. But I'm feeling the need to spend time (more frequently) with the very few close friends I have.

I used to only need to see friends once or twice a week to prevent loneliness, but now I crave it every day or other day. This is actually undesirable because my number of friends is small and the ones I do have can't hang out as often as I'd like.

What's this all about, is it just part of the healing process or what? Anyone else notice this.

Perhaps you need someone to love in place of your lost parent. Ask a mental health professional, for I know little about this topic.

-Duxwing

 

[TriflinThomas]

Perhaps you need someone to love in place of your lost parent. Ask a mental health professional, for I know little about this topic.

That was my first thought.

 

[joal0503]

I've noticed a social-related change after the sudden death of a parent. Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased. It's not that I've become more extraverted, or that I'm more comfortable around people than before. But I'm feeling the need to spend time (more frequently) with the very few close friends I have.

I used to only need to see friends once or twice a week to prevent loneliness, but now I crave it every day or other day. This is actually undesirable because my number of friends is small and the ones I do have can't hang out as often as I'd like.

What's this all about, is it just part of the healing process or what? Anyone else notice this.

when you socialize with your friends... discuss the event? or simply use them as an outlet to forget about things for awhile, and just be normal?

whatever the case may be, in a reactionary state im sort of seeing this as apart of the grieving/healing process. absolutely this could have a permanent effect on your personality, but i dont want to make that sound like an intrinsically BAD thing. depending on how you choose to cope, celebrate, degrade, sulk, or whatever you could go insane, or you could come out a better person.

i think its only rational to conclude that yes, losing people we love can have an impact on our personalities. Although I wouldn't worry too much about the long term ramifications affecting your introverted nature.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I've noticed a social-related change after the sudden death of a parent.

Yikes. That's rough.

Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased. It's not that I've become more extraverted, or that I'm more comfortable around people than before. But I'm feeling the need to spend time (more frequently) with the very few close friends I have.

Don't forget that you're an organism. You have biological needs. Respect them.

I used to only need to see friends once or twice a week to prevent loneliness, but now I crave it every day or other day. This is actually undesirable because my number of friends is small and the ones I do have can't hang out as often as I'd like.

Yep. Grief is complicated. Really, really complicated. What you're going through now will change into something else, but, for now, it is what it is and you need what you need. I hope you can get your needs met without others rejecting you.

What's this all about, is it just part of the healing process or what? Anyone else notice this.

Grief.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief

 

[IdeasNotTheProblem]

I've noticed a social-related change after the sudden death of a parent. Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased. It's not that I've become more extraverted, or that I'm more comfortable around people than before. But I'm feeling the need to spend time (more frequently) with the very few close friends I have.

I used to only need to see friends once or twice a week to prevent loneliness, but now I crave it every day or other day. This is actually undesirable because my number of friends is small and the ones I do have can't hang out as often as I'd like.

What's this all about, is it just part of the healing process or what? Anyone else notice this.

I had a similar reaction when I lost a close friend. After a while, I realized I was doing this to escape the mental anguish I experienced when I was alone.

I think socialization is healthy and very beneficial, just as long as you still address the personal issues and emotions as well.
Sorry for your loss,

 

[Roni]

Ever since this trauma, though, I've found my NEED for socialization has increased.

Literally trauma?
If something in the manner of their death threatened you in some way (perhaps they died violently, or you were confronted with their corpse - something frightening in itself) you may be dealing with trauma as well as grief.

People recover from trauma by telling and retelling the story.
The process of recalling the details/emotions, converting them to words and stating them to someone outside yourself, then editing/refining the words to state to the next listener, is a storytelling process - it converts the event to 'just' a story that's no more distressing than watching a movie. The greater the trauma, the more often the story must be retold.
A need for social contact is inevitable: the process requires listeners.

 

[Architect]

Sure, that makes sense. After a sibling died at a relatively young age I experienced some personality changes. One was increased stress on the anniversary, I'd get depressed and down around that time of year. I didn't know what was causing it, until I'd remember what had happened that time of year. It wore off after about six years. Additionally I became determined, fanatically, not to let my life slip away from me. Also became super health vigilant (the sibling died of cancer).

So I think it's perfectly normal to experience some changes, which may not be permanent.

 

[redbaron]

Try writing or keeping a diary for when you don't have the opportunity to socialize. It might help to externalize your thoughts and serve as an audience in itself. Alternatively you could paint or draw, whatever helps you express yourself.

 

[Sensi Star]

I've already talked about it with family and friends many times. Still, though, I've got this increase in energy that needs to be relieved (maybe from shock, unexpected suicide but I didn't see the body). Because of how introverted I am, socialization really drains my energy, especially talking with people, about anything. After a few hours of frequent social talking, I literally have to lay down and take a nap.

Maybe socializing is a way to drain the excess energy I have. My father and I did love each other, but I only saw him once a month and talked on the phone once every week or 2. We had different personalities, though, so I didn't feel the need to see him that often. For this reason, maybe seeing friends as a "replacement" is less of a factor than others.

 

[INeedToPee]

when im feeling down, socializing distracts me from the sad thoughts that seem to fill my head when i am alone. maybe that is causing your brain to prefer social interaction over isolation. im sure this is temporary and the social needs will pass as you heal.

anyways, im sorry for your loss

 

[Roni]

I've already talked about it with family and friends many times .. unexpected suicide ...
Maybe socializing is a way to drain the excess energy I have.

The suicide of a parent is a serious psychological wound. Like any wound (whether or not you think it's serious enough to need stitches) it needs to be cleaned and dressed to prevent infection.
I very strongly suggest you contact a suicide help line or similar for a professional debrief.

You are traumatised. And grieving. You are under the kind of stress where you can't expect your Functions to operate in their usual order. Perhaps your Fe has taken over for now.
Let it.
Trust your instincts - if you're still feeling a need to socialize then you still have that need.

And again - get a professional to dress your wound. It's important.