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perceptiveness

novicaine

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As INTPs, how do most of you feel about your perceptiveness of other people? I have not read a description that says anything about this quality, and it is typically attributed to types such as ENFJs and ENFPs. I actually find myself quite perceptive of others, and other people say as much to me. Sometimes they are surprised at how much I can read in a person with such little information. Just tonight I was talking to a friend/coworker and I took a stab at her personality type. We googled the letters and sure enough I nailed it on the head. I think my biggest problem is that I am attuned to people's feelings but don't really know how to respond to them. I typically offer thoughts on how they can try to interpret what is going on with them, which is sometimes helpful but not always. Anyways, tell me what your experiences are. Do you think that you are in fact too detached from other people? Or do you manage to perceive well what is going on with others?
 

orion119net

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I'm usually ridiculously detached from people(yay INTP). But I find that I have a better view of whats going on than others do. Even though I don't have any significant emotions(that come out), I can read other people pretty darn accurately...

I've also learned to not try to help people with those emotions.

Nobody likes a hardcore T's advice :(
 

Ogion

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I often perceive things with other people, which i myself don't have. For example, i live in a rooming house for students (i am not quite sure of this expression; Anyway it is a big house with rooms for students of the local university) and recently at a small birthday party of one of my room-neighboors i could 'foresee' that another neighboor and some other student were going to be a couple, although they knew each other just for a short time and i am not sure if they knew it themselves.
So generally i think i'm quite good at perceiving group dynamics or similar things. At least thats the way i experience it ;)

Ogion
 

loveofreason

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Observing what is going on with others and being engaged with what is going on, are two different things. Likewise collecting the information doesn't automatically lead to knowing how to act upon it. (As you noted.)

Many profiles paint a picture of the oblivious INTP. I think that if we're actually interested in the subject eg. human behaviour, then it can be just as much exposed to our objective scrutiny as any other thing. If our unconscious is directing our attention to collecting specific information, then we excel at it. Personally I find humans to be a magnetic subject, and under the right conditions think that I am very perceptive of people.

But I am very detached from them nonetheless. Detachment and perceptiveness are not mutually exclusive.
 

Kuu

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I'm usually ridiculously detached from people(yay INTP). But I find that I have a better view of whats going on than others do. Even though I don't have any significant emotions(that come out), I can read other people pretty darn accurately...

I've also learned to not try to help people with those emotions.

Nobody likes a hardcore T's advice :(
Completely agree. Most people just want you to tell them what they wanna hear. Or just hug them, or be all "oh I'm so sorry" mushy. I do read people quite well, but nobody listens to a T's advice, even if it is good. And then a couple months go by, and X person comes around crying "ooh this bad thing happened to me (insert sobbing)" and inside I'm all "I told you so! You never listen to me!" I do care about people, but being that helpless when you see people digging their own holes is just depressing :(
 

Oziriz

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... and X person comes around crying "ooh this bad thing happened to me (insert sobbing)" and inside I'm all "I told you so! You never listen to me!" I do care about people, but being that helpless when you see people digging their own holes is just depressing :(
Haha, that makes me laugh out loud because they always do that and I still try to help them but they just don't seem to like my advice, even if what I'm telling them is what makes most sense... I guess I should give myself some good advice and tell myself to leave the other people alone, and just tell them what they want to hear or walk away, but somehow I find that I can't resist... :phear:
 

Thread Killer

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I can be quite perceptive of people who capture my attention, of interesting ficiontal entities as well. What I usually lack, though, is empathy. Sure, I'm glad when someone is doing well and don't feel happy about people's hardships, but I rarely take an active interest in how people are doing unless I feel a very strong sense of kinship with the other, but otherwise my consolation is lacking in any real emotional warmth.
 
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I'm usually ridiculously detached from people(yay INTP). But I find that I have a better view of whats going on than others do. Even though I don't have any significant emotions(that come out), I can read other people pretty darn accurately...

I've also learned to not try to help people with those emotions.

Nobody likes a hardcore T's advice :(

Truer words never spoken.
 
Local time
Today, 09:40
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
Messages
90
Location
Arlington, Texas
I often perceive things with other people, which i myself don't have. For example, i live in a rooming house for students (i am not quite sure of this expression; Anyway it is a big house with rooms for students of the local university) and recently at a small birthday party of one of my room-neighboors i could 'foresee' that another neighboor and some other student were going to be a couple, although they knew each other just for a short time and i am not sure if they knew it themselves.
So generally i think i'm quite good at perceiving group dynamics or similar things. At least thats the way i experience it ;)

Ogion
We call it a "dorm" or "dormitory" in the States.

It's funny that you say you are able to do that. I find myself shutting out the things I would normally be very observant of, mainly because people have responded harshly to my observations in the past. I can go the rest of my life without hearing how much of a know-it-all I am.
 

Ogion

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Well, i mostly just observe these things, without articulating them to others. I only think for myself: "See, you were right again." It is not, that i actively search for these things more that i just perceive them.

Ogion

(Yes, dormitory is what i meant)
 

murkrow

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I get in a lot of trouble for telling people exactly who they are.

I can't count the times people have told me "How dare you, you think you know me so well? I don't even know myself that well so there's no way you do.". I usually respond with something about how self aware they think flies are.
 

Mischz

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I only notice people when I am interested in them.

When I am interested in people, I tend to empathise too much, with the result that I accentuate their positive traits and downplay their negative ones.

And then some of them take advantage of my 'trust'.

And I realise too late and feel cheated.

Then I distance myself and deal with recovery etc...

Conclusion: I am very bad at reading people's intentions. :phear:
 

fullerene

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I can't count the times people have told me "How dare you, you think you know me so well? I don't even know myself that well so there's no way you do.". I usually respond with something about how self aware they think flies are.
so... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that clears everything up, right?

To the original post... I think I see how everyone else is pretty well (if I misjudge, things go badly very quickly because I'm a lot more open with my feelings than your average INTP it seems), but it's really, really hard for me to tell if I'm right. The reason is because most people don't like who they are. At least, I'm sure I don't like who I am... and that fact is the only thing that keeps me from harshly judging other people, because when it comes down to it they're not usually very good people either. I have a tendency to take the character flaws I think I see for granted in my analysis and actions towards them, though, and when they catch on I get very, very different replies. The people who I thought originally were honest with themselves and want self-growth tend to take suggestions to heart, usually understand the logic behind my accusation, and we're both better off for it (even one of my friends who's an ESFJ, believe it or not). The people I thought originally were faking their character I can't keep my mouth shut about, but they get really mad and defensive and deny it. So this reaction either confirms my analysis that they're fake people who don't like the truth, or it means that I'm way off and they dont have whatever unpleasant quality it was that started the argument.

The people who like the criticism, irrelevant of personality type, tell me I'm very perceptive... but due to my introvertedness they never get to see me analyze anyone else. The ones who get offended and defensive tell me I'm presumptuous and arrogant. If I had to judge myself I'd say I'm pretty darn accurate... but I think that's an arrogance common to the INTP type.

As far as emotions go, I think, like lor suggested, I got a lot better at it over the past couple years when they became one of my primary topics of interest. It didn't hurt that I felt a lot of depression and despaired during some of that time too, so it got easier to see moods in other people (trying to hide symptoms from the family and stuff really makes you attuned to what those symptoms are). I'm in a similar boat to you, though. I still really don't know how to relate to people who are upset. The only things I've picked up (which are really, really not many) I've taken from other people. I couldn't tell you why it's helpful to hug someone who's in tears, but I asked some friends and watched others, and apparantly it is. It really depends on the person too whether it's helpful to know where their feelings are coming from, or if they just want to be told that it's natural. I have nothing really to base this off of but intuition... but I think that most people are the latter. Starting off with an "ahh I'm so sorry... I had no idea your family was in such trouble" and a hug (depending on if they're the type to do that... I know that none of us probably are, but if you're gonna step out of your comfort zone, the time to do it is when someone's in tears and coming closer to you than is normal) will usually make any well-thought out intellectual advice go a lot farther.

At least... that's my current take on it. It comes a lot more from observation and conversation than experience... but I mean... haha if you put more faith in experience than theory you probly wouldn't be here anyway. And, I can at least tell you I've never had anyone leave in a worse mood than when they came since I started looking at things like this... the same cannot be said of when I used to just do what came naturally, analyze and explain.
 

del

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I'm actually sort of glad to see this kind of thread.

First off, I do consider myself extremely good at this sort of thing. I always score really high on EQ tests and freak my friends out when they ask me to size them up. But I dated an ENFP for awhile, and I won't ever say I have the level of "people reading" she had. She was insane, to the point of appearing borderline psychic.

However, the mechanism was entirely different behind our approaches. She had so much involuntary empathy it was nearly unhealthy. I was completely detached, and just reasoned through the cues I perceived rationally. It's weird, but we did usually come to the same conclusions, despite the different methods.

I think the Ti supported by the Ne/Si axis can make us remarkably good at picking up little details and synthesizing them.
 
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