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Not being able to enjoy something until I've devised a sustainable system

LOLZ9000

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I came to a very strange and profound realization about myself today, and I wanted to share it to see if it was a general INTP thing or just my own idiosyncrasy. I'd wager others have felt this, since it seems like a very Ti-Ne type of issue to have. Anyway, without further prologue...

I have a hard time truly enjoying something until I have devised a sustainable system around it. This can be something small, like working out. If I am working out haphazardly, once here once there, I don't really see the point. Only once I design my life to allow for morning workouts 3x a week, without fail, in a sustainable way that allows enough sleep etc., will I be happy and whole-heartedly dive into the endeavor.

I'm always seeking to devise a sustainable system for whatever my focus is. Examples:
  • Golf - only really into it if I have some kind of unlimited driving range membership, can practice as much as possible without worrying about incremental cost.
  • Getting a cleaning lady - don't see the point of hiring one once even though my apartment is dirty and I am too lazy to clean it, because I don't see the point of paying someone $100 every 2 weeks. If it isn't sustainable, I won't bother doing it even once.

I think the mechanism is that by creating a sustainable system I have thought through thoroughly, I don't have to ever again optimize a decision on the micro-level. It removes the stress of deciding, because the big universal rule/decision has been established that is true in all sub-cases. And the lack of decision/optimization anxiety allows me to enjoy it in the moment.

I've noticed this applying to bigger areas of my life. A relationship, for example. If I am unsure about marrying the person or having children with them, I will constantly be in a state of anxiety about the relationship, second-guessing, considering a break up, instead of enjoying it in the moment. I'm always evaluating the situation at the most global, existential level rather than just going with it.

Same with life. I find it hard to enjoy life without trying to figure out a sustainable system that will allow me to have an optimal existence. The right job/hobby, enough time to stay healthy and eat well, the right wife, the right family, the right balance between family time and lone time, the right balance between wild adventure and secure domestication.

Until I figure out the above in a sustainable, holistic way, I am always anxious about reaching that state of equilibrium from my current state of imperfection.

I understand this is no way to be a happy human being nor am I saying this attitude is good to have. Just that I have it sometimes, at least in the back of my mind, and it is an interesting realization about myself.

I've seen this concept, in similar ways, described elsewhere as the INTP's "theory of everything", the striving to create a perfect system in which everything fits neatly like puzzle pieces. Of course life isn't that neat.

Anyone else relate at all?
 

JR_IsP

Overthinker in Chief
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Hmm, searching for the perfect system sounds like a common INTP motto, but the way you describe it sound more like the ISTJ Utopia, everything with a perfect place and the need for control. INTPs (or at least INTPs I met irl) are more relaxed, they only look for the explanation and how does the system work... in deep detail.

I think the mechanism is that by creating a sustainable system I have thought through thoroughly, I don't have to ever again optimize a decision on the micro-level. It removes the stress of deciding, because the big universal rule/decision has been established that is true in all sub-cases. And the lack of decision/optimization anxiety allows me to enjoy it in the moment.

I've noticed this applying to bigger areas of my life. A relationship, for example. If I am unsure about marrying the person or having children with them, I will constantly be in a state of anxiety about the relationship, second-guessing, considering a break up, instead of enjoying it in the moment. I'm always evaluating the situation at the most global, existential level rather than just going with it.

This however, I think is the most INTP part. Second guessing everything and the lack of effective decision choices are a common issue of ours. Or at least for me, anyway.

Just read about taoism, and go with the flow. Things can't be that bad... unless you live on a fucked up country such as mine

There will be a time when you realize how much have you lived and how little you did.

You can also create a virtual reality of your own and disconnect from outside imperfect reality. Just an idea.
 
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