• OK, it's on.
  • Please note that many, many Email Addresses used for spam, are not accepted at registration. Select a respectable Free email.

Non-substance methods of overcoming social anxiety

Local time
Today, 11:46
Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
808
Location
Omnipresent
#1
I'm wandering what some of you do to make social interactions less of a pain in the ass. Particularly when in a situation where you have to speak with people you've never met before... and especially people who are less complex than you, for lack of wording it differently (you know when you throw something out there to test someone and the response you get is shallow or they just don't understand).

My small talk skill is limited without drugs or alcohol involved, and this isn't a healthy or sustainable option.
 
Local time
Today, 11:46
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
5,836
Location
subjective
#2
listening is a good skill to learn.
This is the best way to become proficient at simplifying complex topics for the audience.
 

Serac

A menacing post slithers
Local time
Today, 18:46
Joined
Jun 7, 2017
Messages
1,572
Location
Stockholm
#3
I try not to have any specific aim with the interaction. To me it's just about chilling out and cracking some jokes. I rarely talk about anything "cerebral" with people unless there is some specific purpose to talking about it. I realized at some point that I don't even like to talk about such things with people. Like, what's the point? Even if someone knows what you're talking about, it's just gonna be "yeah, that's cool" and that's it. I often mention things that interest me, but that's usually in passing and mostly for my own amusement. I don't expect people to engage in a discussion about it.

In practical terms, I think the first step is to learn how to relax around people. Like, next time you're in a conversation, whenever they say something, take a pause for maybe 3 seconds or so and then say your response. Have a thoughtful face or whatever in the meantime. That will make the interaction nice and relaxed.
 
Local time
Today, 18:46
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
1,437
#4
pretend you are jane goodall performing important research on endangered primitive apes. let the gravity of your mission to save them steel your soul against the horrors of their absurd social rituals and endless banal drama/gossip cycles. you might even find some diamonds. diamonds!

alternatively just use the substances in a more temperate fashion
 

Kuu

>>Loading
Local time
Today, 12:46
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
3,395
Location
The wired
#5
Ask them about themselves. Why are they in (social event)? Who do they know? Do they like that other person over there? When was the last time they did (x)?

It's much easier if they do most of the talking and you don't have to spoon feed them a conversation they likely don't care about. It's often boring, but when faced with such a situation you just gotta deal with it.
 

baccheion

Active Member
Local time
Today, 13:46
Joined
May 2, 2016
Messages
222
#6
Ensure there aren't any nutrient/hormone imbalances/deficiencies (NutrEval + a comprehensive hormone panel). Meditation and brainwave entrainment audio. Better diet/nutrition. Slowly increased exposure. Watch videos on YouTube pertaining to interaction. Determine what's causing you to become anxious, then address it. Practice with and get advice from someone skilled in this regard.

There are safer supplements/nootropics that lower anxiety and increase verbal fluidity. For example, aniracetam. Aniracetam + alpha-GPC. Aniracetam + piracetam (+ alpha-GPC). Aniracetam + noopept (+ alpha-GPC). Etc.

And a multivitamin, D + K, and chelated/TRAACS magnesium supplement.
 
Local time
Today, 11:46
Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
808
Location
Omnipresent
#7
There are safer supplements/nootropics that lower anxiety and increase verbal fluidity. For example, aniracetam. Aniracetam + alpha-GPC. Aniracetam + piracetam (+ alpha-GPC). Aniracetam + noopept (+ alpha-GPC). Etc.

And a multivitamin, D + K, and chelated/TRAACS magnesium supplement.
It's been some time since I've used nootropics. Usually piracetam with choline bitartrate (which I've heard is an inferior source of choline compared to alphaGPC, maybe that would give more noticeable affects), but if I remeber right aniracetam has anxiolitic properties so perhaps I could give that another shot. Never used it as much as piracetam.

As far as multi vitamins go, there is nothing I need to take more of that I'm not already getting my daily recommended intake from through my diet. I do take magnesium though.

alternatively just use the substances in a more temperate fashion
This could apply for alcohol, I'm not a heavy drinker and it hasn't been a major problem for me. However it would be inappropriate for some of the settings I'm in. Anything else that is as good or better of a social lubricant is problematic. If I have a shared interest with the person I'm speaking to, that really helps, but I often hit road blocks trying to find something in common.[/QUOTE]
 

baccheion

Active Member
Local time
Today, 13:46
Joined
May 2, 2016
Messages
222
#8
There are safer supplements/nootropics that lower anxiety and increase verbal fluidity. For example, aniracetam. Aniracetam + alpha-GPC. Aniracetam + piracetam (+ alpha-GPC). Aniracetam + noopept (+ alpha-GPC). Etc.

And a multivitamin, D + K, and chelated/TRAACS magnesium supplement.
It's been some time since I've used nootropics. Usually piracetam with choline bitartrate (which I've heard is an inferior source of choline compared to alphaGPC, maybe that would give more noticeable affects), but if I remeber right aniracetam has anxiolitic properties so perhaps I could give that another shot. Never used it as much as piracetam.

As far as multi vitamins go, there is nothing I need to take more of that I'm not already getting my daily recommended intake from through my diet. I do take magnesium though.

alternatively just use the substances in a more temperate fashion
This could apply for alcohol, I'm not a heavy drinker and it hasn't been a major problem for me. However it would be inappropriate for some of the settings I'm in. Anything else that is as good or better of a social lubricant is problematic. If I have a shared interest with the person I'm speaking to, that really helps, but I often hit road blocks trying to find something in common.
That's great. The multivitamin combo is usually added to support nootropic stacks. Also, unless supplementing, it's unlikely vitamin D is in the preferred 40-60 ng/mL range.

AOR Ortho-Core (or Life Extension Two-per-day if too expensive), Life Extension D + K, and Doctor's Best High Absorption Magnesium.

I like SEMAX + selank + alpha-GPC even more than aniracetam.
 

Niclmaki

Disturber of the Peace
Local time
Today, 13:46
Joined
Oct 21, 2012
Messages
386
Location
Canada
#9
Just be confident and imagine yourself more prepared for the interaction than they are (even if you are not).

I’m not sure how friendly or warm this actually appears . It usually intimidates the other in my experience.

If that’s not your speed though, just listening for 80% of the conversation works too.
 

Ex-User (8886)

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 18:46
Joined
Sep 11, 2013
Messages
620
#10
I'm wandering what some of you do to make social interactions less of a pain in the ass. Particularly when in a situation where you have to speak with people you've never met before... and especially people who are less complex than you, for lack of wording it differently (you know when you throw something out there to test someone and the response you get is shallow or they just don't understand).

My small talk skill is limited without drugs or alcohol involved, and this isn't a healthy or sustainable option.
Go to psychotherapist.
Or smoke cigarettes, take phenibut, drink alcohol, take some coffee...
 

QuickTwist

Alive - Born Anew
Local time
Today, 12:46
Joined
Jan 24, 2013
Messages
6,768
Location
...
#13
The goal is not to feel less nervous/afraid irt social anxiety, but to become braver when it comes to social anxiety. Taking small incremental steps towards any goal you might have is generally the best approach and social anxiety is no different. Obviously, this means you are going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but no growth can happen without that.
 
Local time
Today, 18:46
Joined
Jul 23, 2018
Messages
3
#14
Because of being autistic and an introvert, it's been hard for me.

I finally realized I could be myself, say what I was thinking *even if it's nerdy or whatever* and even point out how awkward I am in conversation. It's almost like being a 3rd person commentator with lots of humor use. It's helped me be more confident.

Because of our insight, situational humor comes easily. Use it, but always explain yourself just a little more than you think necessary.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
 

Ex-User (13503)

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 18:46
Joined
Aug 20, 2016
Messages
575
#15
Pre-emptively realizing that many people are not only inconsequential, but unlikely to be encountered again, can free you from the worry of screwing up, resulting in fewer screw-ups. And when you do screw up, which is unavoidable no matter your skill, you'll know that those that remain have a higher chance of being attracted by your authenticity.
 

Niclmaki

Disturber of the Peace
Local time
Today, 13:46
Joined
Oct 21, 2012
Messages
386
Location
Canada
#16
Pre-emptively realizing that many people are not only inconsequential, but unlikely to be encountered again, can free you from the worry of screwing up, resulting in fewer screw-ups. And when you do screw up, which is unavoidable no matter your skill, you'll know that those that remain have a higher chance of being attracted by your authenticity.
Also worth mentioning is that most people won’t remember any “screw-ups” you do. Most people just think about themselves, not you.
 

baccheion

Active Member
Local time
Today, 13:46
Joined
May 2, 2016
Messages
222
#17
Pre-emptively realizing that many people are not only inconsequential, but unlikely to be encountered again, can free you from the worry of screwing up, resulting in fewer screw-ups. And when you do screw up, which is unavoidable no matter your skill, you'll know that those that remain have a higher chance of being attracted by your authenticity.
Also worth mentioning is that most people won’t remember any “screw-ups” you do. Most people just think about themselves, not you.
Most people remember the beginning and the end. Whether to your advantage or not, the middle is irrelevant/forgotten.
 
Local time
Tomorrow, 05:46
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
4,635
#18
I'm wandering what some of you do to make social interactions less of a pain in the ass. Particularly when in a situation where you have to speak with people you've never met before... and especially people who are less complex than you, for lack of wording it differently (you know when you throw something out there to test someone and the response you get is shallow or they just don't understand).

My small talk skill is limited without drugs or alcohol involved, and this isn't a healthy or sustainable option.
I think the issue is your judgement. Like if someone threw something at you to test you would you be not socially anxious enough to properly respond?

People are guarded and shallow with people they don't really know because they are anxious themselves.

The key to not being socially anxious is to learn to be shallow. Do the nice greeting without deep and meaning full ask about the week then continue doing your activity that you are mutually in the area doing. After about a month or so of regularly doing this you'll be comfortable enough in a shallow interaction that deeper interactions will follow. Once you show people you can be normally shallow you'll be accepted into the hive mind.

You're anxious about people judging you because you judge everyone. Of course being confident and fulfilled in other things helps you not care as much as you know you are good at stuff separate from the interaction and your ego isn't tied up in how you are perceived.
 
Local time
Today, 20:46
Joined
Oct 7, 2018
Messages
233
#19
i find conversation a lot less bothersome when i treat it like a game.
so what if you're more complex than others, test their limits to see what they can do and do so iteratively or else you aren't playing the game.
 
Top Bottom