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Nobody wants to be happy

Void

oblivious
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Attention grabbing title, check. Anyway.

I'm sure you know someone, or are someone, who wants to be happy all the time. They'll say "I just want to be happy", or something alike. Well, you might think that, but you are wrong. Assuming you want your life sorted long term, happiness is not what you seek. And here's why.

Happiness is an emotion. I.E. a temporary reaction to an external event. Keywords being most importantly temporary, and less importantly external.
Temporary is important to note because it signifies that emotions dont last long. I make the destinction between emotions and states of mind*(SOM). Where sadness, fear and anger are emotions, their respective SOMs are depressed, stressed, and agitated. And while you might not agree with that, the point is that emotions dont last. And as such I think specific emotions aren't what one should seek long term. Sure, you might go to an amusement park or hang with friends for short bursts of happiness, but that changes your emotions, not necessarily your SOM.
Secondly, external signifies that you are dependent on input. While that is not a problem of itself, it will become one when you start expecting certain things from that input, which people tend to do from what I have observed. The problem with this is that input is random in the sense that you never know exactly what it is that you will get, only that you will get it. So making assumptions about and having expectations from input will ultimately lead to dissapointment.

So what then. Well, as I said, emotions have their respective SOMs. These are neither temporary(though changeable) nor external, what I think is the problem with having a specific emotion as a goal. So what is the SOM related to happiness? Personally I think it is contentment, but satisfied and blissful might work as well.
Whatever the word, I think this SOM is perfectly illustrated by the following saying from the bible (which is a translation from a phrase I've heard people say, without myself having actually read the bible):
God looked onto the world, and saw that it was good.

You dont want to be happy. Nobody wants to be happy. You want to be content/satisfied regardless of input or emotion. You can be sad while still being content if you realize that your emotion is a healthy, normal, adequate response to whatever happened, and its alright to be sad now. Same goes for anger, fear, or any other emotion. Because its not the emotion that matters, but the frame in which that emotion is present.



* state of mind, perspective, mindset.
 

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empirical miracle
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Good way to define contentment. I like the distinction between words and SOMs.
 

emmabobary

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Nice!
I thought you would say nobody wants to be happy because nobody is able to endure happiness.
:D
 

Foofmonger

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I believe that ultimately, your conclusion is correct.

However, this is one of those concepts that depends heavily on definition for clarity. Unless people are agreed on an absolute definition of happiness, which is particular difficult as there is no current consensus on what happiness actually is (not that psychology, philosophy, and religions aren't attempting).

As the concept of happiness is largely subjective (ranging from say, intense joy to contentment), one could clearly want to be happy all of the time depending on what they consider happiness to be (for instance, contentment, bliss, or general satisfaction). Conversely, if one is to associate happiness with extreme joy, it is unlikely anyone would want to experience this emotional state permanently.

So, if we are to say that happiness is an extreme, intense, emotional feeling, I would agree with your conclusion.
 

Void

oblivious
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I believe that ultimately, your conclusion is correct.

However, this is one of those concepts that depends heavily on definition for clarity. Unless people are agreed on an absolute definition of happiness, which is particular difficult as there is no current consensus on what happiness actually is (not that psychology, philosophy, and religions aren't attempting).

As the concept of happiness is largely subjective (ranging from say, intense joy to contentment), one could clearly want to be happy all of the time depending on what they consider happiness to be (for instance, contentment, bliss, or general satisfaction). Conversely, if one is to associate happiness with extreme joy, it is unlikely anyone would want to experience this emotional state permanently.

So, if we are to say that happiness is an extreme, intense, emotional feeling, I would agree with your conclusion.

Indeed.

My main, problem I guess, was that people sometimes interchange happy and happiness, which might then confuse them. You are happy when you win that stuffed animal at the fair, or when you finally land that skateboard trick you practiced on for so long. However, saying that you want happiness from life, refering to the type of happy in the two examples above is what I meant. I'm just trying to make sure people dont mix the two.
 

QuickTwist

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I don't have fun at amusement parks.

Other than that, its fine.
 

emmabobary

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Lately Foofmonger goes around the forum giving his approval to posts and members. :D



Why not better meke ourselves responsible for our desires and ideas, and not try to objectively measure and predict the course of action of human emotions? :)

I`ll leave this here....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXOsdsOj2o4

.....for no reason at all
 

Foofmonger

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Indeed.

My main, problem I guess, was that people sometimes interchange happy and happiness, which might then confuse them. You are happy when you win that stuffed animal at the fair, or when you finally land that skateboard trick you practiced on for so long. However, saying that you want happiness from life, refering to the type of happy in the two examples above is what I meant. I'm just trying to make sure people dont mix the two.

People often conceptualize and mix these two concepts, you are absolutely correct.

One could argue that this a product of being socialized in a materialistic, consumption based society where you are marketed to as such that you cannot obtain "happiness" without endless consumption of new products and items.

Which is of course, categorically false. Our current society treats is population as glorified drug/emotion addicts, always needing the new fix of "joy" that the latest product or experience will bring. If you are not feeling this rollercoaster-esque emotional turbulence of hoping for your next joy high, than you must be miserable.

It is an interesting state of affairs to say the least.
 

WALKYRIA

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Happiness is really simple(in our society) = having more than expected.
If you are a young and ugly guy from a poor socio-economic background and that you manage to become way more enviable than majority of your peers, thus millionaire and marry a beautiful woman by age thirthy... then you'll become happy( unless you idea of happiness is even higher), if that remains like that you'll become content.
After that, the best way to remain not only content but happy, is to get some occasional and unpredictable " win win situations" here and there or to iuncrease your wealth( that's why rich people want more and more, it's a dopamine thing)... that's also why people in couples need to give each other surprises regularly.

This reason is the main reason why genetically gifted and talented people are depressed and unhappy and sometimes comit suicide( smart people fail to get the recognition expected if they don't come with the hardworking genes pack; beautiful people fail to be recognized as worthy wives and husbands if not rich(for the man) and nice( for the girl) ) . Also main reason why between 20s and 30s young people from my generation(the infamous gen y) go through a severe depression/ reality check( quarterlife crisis).
In other words, happiness requires a certain education and if parents( by telling teh kids they are special snowflakes) fail to inculcate certain things to the kids... they become depressive kids and go on to perpetuate the curse.

Now I begin to see how wellroundedness is really key for happiness. A beautiful woman is expected( from her parents) to marry a wealthy and powerful man, if she has bad attitude( which comes in default with the uneducated hot woman pack) , the wealthy man won't pick her and will select from another one... simply. Most young and hot women don't realise this and are subsequently the most unhappy people because of a severe reality check... they end up in porn industry if they ever failed in music of modeling.

Same with smart/goodlooking men.

So, that's it. Understnd that you are worthy and try to get more( that means REAL achievement and not because your friends told you you were beautiful) from society than expected. unfortunately the reality is that most people will end up fucked by society. That's sad really... In other words, good parents, good values and good life education are the most important things.

Also come to realize that everybody is not genetically/socio-economically equal and find the wisedom to know your place in the world...
:ahh:
 
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