No Words-Salvia Trip

[6125]

Ok...so i thought i would share this on here because i just need to somehow explain what happened...even though putting it into words is not really the point...i guess i just need to assure myself to some extent and also share with you guys cause thats what i like to do! This will be a ramble for obvious reasons.

So i have done salvia twice before but had relatively mild experiences, once out of a joint (i know unorthodox but whatever) and a bong so i figure i would roll up a joint and head to a secluded park to have another mild experience. I took two deep puffs out of a joint and completely melted. I dont know what happened to the world but i seemed to just fuse with it...and i couldnt unfuse. My conscience you could say was there but i would describe the dimension i entered as being some sort of fusion with my own body...like if you were resting on top of a mirror and saw your body resting against your body. I had no idea what was happening and was desperately experimenting with my moving my body...like seriously life or death panicking on how i was going to unfuse myself from this reality... After what seemed like a lifetime (which i think makes sense given how salvia affects parts of your brain that deal with identity) i somehow figured out how to unfuse the last little bit of my body from this element and hopped back on my bike. Maybe this is how newborns feel, yearning to get free of this infinite limbo. Here is the scary part...i was still tripping heavily...and still had that feeling of being fused...and even though i recoginized the world now, i thought what if i was to undergoe this process of unfusing from the so called real world again? And i had that feeling the whole ride home...i remember as i was riding home thinking how unreal it felt, like the world was just an illusion...i didnt really feel the exertion of physical exercise in my body...i was thinking, what if im still passed out on forest floor and this is the trip. I guess i had passed out on my right side because i was leaning towards the right on my bike and had to stop several times. I also heard a really scary voice a few times on my bike...i think the point it was trying to make was something like, see how i can turn "the world" (my perspective of the world being the same thing) into nothing in a split second...it wanted me to know that...and that one day it would happen in the form of death...it really wanted me to make no mistake on how powerful it was.

I don't do these types of things for fun...this is a very spiritual drug, but I honestly don't feel like i need to do any other drugs anymore after what just happened. I entered into an infinite dimension and begged to be brought back to experience mortality...

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Sounds like what happened to me when I smoked a lot of weed for the first time, except 10x more intense.

The constant worrying about what reality is and such will stop eventually, it's just pretty intense when you've first experienced such a thing.

 

[downsowf]

I took mushrooms in college. I had this huge epiphany about water. I was caught in a thunderstorm and it was fantastic. After that experience, I started to primarily only drink water. Now it's just a habit.

 

[Meer]

It's starting to get dry here. I could really go for a nice cold glass of water.

On topic, drugs.

 

[nanook]

one should realy take salvia in total silence and do absolutely nothing for half an hour after the trip. i know smililar dissociation (as you say: ons side passed out) and odd head ache, this happens if you don't give yourself time to come back into your body.

i would not say, that i understand salvia. there are some aspects of the salvia experience that have added up to something that makes sense to me. can't talk about them in detail right now, can't access that depth at random times, also its hard in foreign language, but they have to do with ... well learning about how the ego identity functions ...urmm.. this text is going nowhere, not in a helping way anyhow ...

here is one bit of advice. any salvia trip is just a fraction of what's possible "out there". albeit abstract aspects may be common to all trips and those common aspects are actually even common to all of the human experience - they are something subtle that becomes apparent when you have more trips to compare. well, the idea/advice is not to interpret the particular experience as if all of it's aspects add up to a whole, which makes sense and is supernatural. i mean, it's not like you have seen "the truth" and all else is illusion. everything is experience and what you have seen is just another version of all possible experiences. and the air of supernatural 'feeling' is not in the particular experience, but it's the same air of SPIRIT that is your nature and that you could awake to, so you would be in touch with it permanently. the odd twisted particular experience of the trip / the contents of the vision is random and not permanent, althoug patterns of it can be repetitive. in other words: don't try too hard to seach a truth or meaning in this trip or a whole new worldview. implications for a new worlview are not in the concrete aspects of the experience, they are only in the "air" of it.


edit: there i came back to fix the language a little bit, maybe it's readable now.


salvia has been verry scary to me. i haven't dared to go there again, for a long time. at the same time it has been 'usefull' (silly materialistic value), or so i hope. it's a background.
a rerrefence, from which i draw enhanced understanding of the two major facets of life: the incredibility of being alone with "it all" and the incredibility of being able to meet and connect with someone else, in the middle of "this". it's my existentialist 'muse' so to say.

but the concrete contents of the trip are fucking mindboggling and never made any sense to me. ah, shit.

talking about these things seems wrong. just read and forget what i wrote. don't let your mind hang itself up on any thaughts, including mine. they are all insufficient and fabulations.

but i felt a little obligated to write something, since not many people have been there .. still we have no choice but to come to terms with our alone-ness in dealing with these roots of our existence, i am not sure if anyone can help anyone with any of this.


good luck on your journey of confusion aka life.

 

[nanook]

sometimes this metaphor came to mind: imagine you are an alien who knows zero about humans and earth. you are being tuned into the eyesight of a living being on earth via uncontrolled remote viewing and withness a specific scene on planet earth. this could be a war between romans and germans or it could be the birth of a sea-animal under water or it could be what a doctor sees as he looks through an endoscope. after the remote viewing trip fellow aliens would ask you: "hey, what was it like on earth?". you would have no way of knowing that gravity - the least obvious aspect of the experience - was the only aspect that was truely representative of what (all) life on earth is like. instead you would think that is painfull (like being killed by a sword) or wett like underwater birth or ... ugly like a .. duodenum - i just looked that up - something seen through an endoscope. it's kind of like that i think. salvia teaches about the gravity of spirit (metaphorically speaking). all else is more or less random example.

 

[nanook]

whazupp mysterious passnger 6125, art thou still alive?

i have some trip reports of my first salvia jorneys back in 2005. in german. i allways wanted to translate them into english. i have just translated the first break through experience (my first and second attempts). further trips are more difficult to translate, more abstract, interpretative.

i call this: "the wheel of nanook"

first sitting:

when i took the first breath i was already no more alone. i assumed various presences, one of them female. i felt observed and as if i was perceived to be one part of a group of others, in a very wordily sense.

i was pulled back into the mattress. i began to communicate, without knowing with whom. someone would hear me, i was sure of it.

"yeah, i am coming already" ... it drew me only a couple of meters into another dimension, looked a little like a forest, but not exactly realistic, i saw the colors white black yellow rust, the textures of the vegetation remind me of spider legs, organic but alien. i felt extroverted: i shouted : hey, what's up!!

i felt as if integrated into a group where communicating like this is normal.
at moments i felt egoically empowered like a drunken teenager. high spirits.

i come back to reality.

i smoke another pot, but before i have pulled the air in, i am already out of control of my body. i observe myself, spitting and coughing instinctively like an animal, kicking the bong away from me. then i had a short black out. no memory of when i came back.

my only or next memory is, that this time i was scared of the spirits, the others. i asked for help. then i shouted: No!. the presence dissapeared.


second sitting, four days later:


i am part of a movement. as if two human like peasants, who also feel like godlike entities (on a higher plane) stand on opposite sides of an acre, operating some form of manual assembly line/conveyor belt. btw i think i may have only "assumed" the appearance of those peasants, to have a handle on the mere feeling of external presences being out there. anyhow, so there is a cyclic movement between them, and i am it, or one moment/position of the cycling. on one side i come into existence, on the other my existence is wiped out. the existence and short life span of this one nanook means nothing to those peasants. they ignore my destiny like you would ignore a crop. my next incarnation doesnt mean more to them. the cycling movement is very fast and i always anticipate my next death, knowing that this doesn't happen to me, for the first time. from incarnation to incarnation my recollection of what i have thought about my self in the previous incarnation becomes stronger, so i am building up identity, personal history. and suddenly memory reaches back into my human life, to when i had taken drugs, when i was lying on my bed, when opening my eyes should be sufficient to break out of this cycle on this acre. i manage to open my eyes and see a bong, kicked away and i remember: oh, i did this in a previous incarnation, when i had managed to open my eyes before. i am moving my body, headbanging, to prevent me from being drawn into the cyclic acre land again.

"oh, so iam THIS nanook now" it dawns on me. he feels like a stranger to me, and i am not happy to be him. caught up in his fake personality, he lives this neurotic live, where he is compulsively afraid of his parents coming in, while he is doing crazy drugs, as if those fears where of higher reality/importance, than the spiritual truth of who or what he is. he has to obey this personality, althoug he knows it to be a lie. he knows no other way. his mind has no other cirquits. he functions that way.

i almost want to close my eyes again - to cycle some more - maybe i find another incarnation, a better one. for a moment i feel the cycle again, but it doesn't take me away from this one, from this nanook.

yup. life is but a [routine of a biological computer]. but its kind of rich. you realize the richness of being a living human being, once you have been a crop on a conveyor belt.

 

[Ex-User (4771)]

i really need to get me some of this shit lol

 

[Affinity]

I tripped on the 80x a few years ago. I put in my headphones and was listening to some Shpongle. Took a huge bong rip and when I finished blowing it out, the whole room started to come towards me while shrinking and then I blacked out. I couldn't really describe my trip if I wanted to but I was stuck in a loop (seems to be a common theme eh?) where I was trying to get off a page of a book but every time I would almost make it off, the page would flip and I would try to get off it again. The trip was what I imagine hell would be and it felt like it lasted a lifetime. My friends told me I got up from the couch, did an om with one hand, grabbed a Hello Kitty cup from the coffee table and set it on the carpet. All of which I do not recall and all within a span of 3 minutes until I instantly snapped out of it, pulled my headphones out, and was gasping for air. I felt extremely disconnected that whole night and eventually rode my bike home and passed out.

If given the opportunity, I would prob try it again but I have no desire to actively seek it. I'll stick with the mushies from which I've felt have been much more spiritual, gained much more insight from, and overall, less hellish of a trip. Still waiting to get my hands on some DMT though lol.

 

[nanook]

people shouldn't start with this commercial 80x shit (which in reality, once in your body, is probably much less than 80x, because if it was really 80x you would probably still be orbiting around the bookshelves. but then again, maybe you do and you just don't know it. sure hope not. ). i often got level 4 and 5 trips from smoking plain unfortified leaves with a pipe. at home, at night, in darkness. it's difficult to breathe in so deeply, so with 5x it's effortless to get to level 5. some people are said to be insensitive to salvia. well maybe. what i know, is that the salvia experience can be dissociated, when the mind is distracted by alien environment, tripsitters, a certain unaware mindset (strong worldly/egoic expectations), to a lesser degree light and music. when i smoked in the presence of another person and in her appartment, to my surpise the same dosage that would usually achieve level 3-4 didn't have any effect at all. next morning, same appartment but the person was asleep, the same dosage achieved a level 3+. interestingly the content of this vision was completely different. there were no cyclic elements at all. but equally as much plunging into qualities of emptiness (as in: we are all dead/unreal, we just don't know it). i felt like i was somehow one with a shambhala type of white mountain, it was fairly ethereal. i tried 5x from the pipe, in nature, at night, lying on an fallow acre. almost no effect. when i take it in my own room, it's not only most effective, but also the trips are more repetitive or resemble each other to a higher degree. a dissociated/unconscious trip is usually a somatic dizziness, a slight temporal distortion. twice, when i had a trip, i felt like i "returned" to a vision, that was previously dissociated.

i bought my salvia in 2005, at the time it was actually legal, btw. not sure if they still sell effective plain leaves, or if the inflation of the fortification paradigm changed things ...

 

[Beholder]

I can totally identify with that feeling that there is some kind of truth to be discovered in the realm of salvia, every time I did it I felt like there was some big secret in this new dimensiin I'm in and I desperately needed to find out what it is. I never did.

 

[kantor1003]

I was stuck in a loop (seems to be a common theme eh?) where I was trying to get off a page of a book but every time I would almost make it off, the page would flip and I would try to get off it again.

It's striking how many get this particular experience. If it was something sexual or something else related to things we all do or experience almost daily it would have made more sense to me as it is something more innate to everyone. Even people that aren't into reading at all seems to get that particular vision your described.

 

[nanook]

i haven't had the book thing, but a "split thing", and there is a weird pseudo-2-dimensional quality to the domain - it's not really just 2 dimensional, it's 2-dimensions broken/splitted into something multi dimensional. i mentioned spider legs. those are broken/segmented too. so, a book is a possible geometric analogy to some of those broken vs flat aspects. another analogy, that people bring up, is a celluloid strip. which leads us to my conveyor belt.
i guess, our mind tries to dumb down the geomety of the salvia space using known objects. some hyper gifted sacret-geometry visual artist will someday figure the salvia realm out. i can hardly remember details. i have read some attempts to do so in words (they try to use salvia to explain the inside of the visual cortex), but i wasn't convinced.

 

[shoeless]

every time you do salvia it builds on the previous time. that is to say, it gets more intense with experience.

that's what the nice guy in the mushroom shop in amsterdam told us anyway. me personally, i've never done it, but i've had some hard trips in my life. the best feeling is when you come out of it. you'll feel either very clear or very muddled, but either way, it's a total relief.

drugs are bad, mm'kay.

 

[kantor1003]

drugs are bad, mm'kay.

Damn, for 10 years I've been spelling it "m-kay" only now to find out I've been erroneous for all this time

 

[snafupants]

I can totally identify with that feeling that there is some kind of truth to be discovered in the realm of salvia, every time I did it I felt like there was some big secret in this new dimensiin I'm in and I desperately needed to find out what it is. I never did.

That almost but not quite feeling seems to be a motif with saliva. Do you think it's understandable or beyond our mind's ability to grasp? What did you intuit to be going on in salviaville? Walk me through it...