Dentan
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Revised Title: My current life view
My Path: agnostic in the middle/upper class individualist westernized culture
I randomly get impulses to organize my thoughts
and see things with an order and structure
note this is more for those who gather information though intuition (as opposed to sensing)
and make decisions based on thinking (as opposed to feeling)
since they think of things through a system
the problem with a system is that
once you subscribe to it
you can only look at things through it
and you can't truly be objective
the problem with no system
is that if your not strong at sensing and feeling
you're not going to have things figured out
and your most likely going to act like a fool
the compromise is that your system has to be constantly improving
so that you can have the best results
Contents
1. Existentialism
2. Goal in life
____a. Efficient Mindset
____b. Self actualization
3. Maintaining mindset
____a. Defense mechanisms
____b. Locus of control
________i. Pros and Cons
________ii. Objectivity
____c. Faulty mindsets
____d. Intention
4. Morality
____a. Concept
____b. Rules
5. Social Hierarchy
____a. Concept
____b. Shooting the Shit
____c. Snobbery
____d. Morality
____e. Observations
____f. Theory
____g. Alpha's
____h. Self-interest
____i. Dogma
6. A Pure Life
____a. Concept
____b. Interactions
____c. Games
____d. Truth
____e. Social Hierarchy
____f. Shallowness
7. What Holds People Back
____a. Faulty Mindsets
____b. Not Confronting Insecurities
____c. Pride and Assumptions
____d. Projection
8. Conclusion
____a. Working on yourself
____b. Myer-Briggs
____c. Security
____d. People don't like change
____e. Work on your mindset
____1. Existentialism
as humans its our responsibility to give everything meaning
the world, our life, our actions, our opinions, etc..
even though its sorta absurd because there's no definite meaning to anything,
there's only perspective
although ideas/ideals exist
so you can attach meaning to why your actions matter to others
____2. Goal in life
ones goal in life should be to get fulfillment from within,
which is based off of having a good mindset and understanding on how people interact
and being open to experiences, opportunities, and growth
self actualized people "have the tendency to actualize,
as much as possible, [the organism's] individual capacities"
common traits of those self actualized (got from wiki):
They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
They are spontaneous.
They are interested in solving problems.
They are accepting of themselves and also others and lack prejudice.
Everybody has their own mindset to the world, it could be considered their attitude towards it
its starts with their genes and then all the experiences they go through
a polished mindset tends to get you to where what you want to be
a polished mindset involves having all your power come from inside you and having self control
a polished mindset involves realizing when you have the power that you don't have to show it
its how strong of a grip you have on life
that your in control of things and can deal with whatever's coming your way
it includes being pragmatic and having good knowledge acquisition skills
____3. Maintaing mindset
defense mechanisms are psychological strategies
to cope with reality and to maintain self-image.
Healthy persons normally use different defenses throughout life.
An ego defense mechanism becomes negative when its persistent use leads to maladaptive behavior
such that the physical and/or mental health of the individual is adversely affected.
the purpose of the Ego Defense Mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from anxiety, social sanctions or to provide a refuge from a situation with which one cannot currently cope.
check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_mechanism#Categorization_of_Defense_Mechanisms
a person with an internal locus of control
feels they're in control of their reality
they act from within and if other people don't agree its the others fault
they only have to rationalize to themselves
they're living their life by their own standards
a person with an external locus of control
feels that their reality has control over them
they act based on how they feel others will perceive their actions
and if people don't agree with them they change their actions to fit others approval
they will try to rationalize to the crowd
that their opinions and actions were correct
if the majority believes it, it must be true
they both have their pro and cons
it matters how their environment accepts peoples personal standards
but there will always be people out there that won't accept you
based on your persons locus of control
you can be close minded and judgmental
and depending on your upbringing,
you can only worthwhile if they fit society's standards
or be the opposite and think your only worthwhile if your an individual
what you gotta realize is that
there's just a bunch of different systems
which makes an us vs them mentality
and promotes there side as being right
and the side who's actions promote results which you feel is better
you'll perceive that side as better
in my opinion it better to just be yourself and improve based on your standards
than trying to improve yourself to fit the standards of others
as long as your standards aren't selfish, foolish or stupid
faulty mindsets can cause rips to the social fabric and spin things
although certain mindset's are comfortable with doing that as well
the best way to classify if someone has faulty mindset
if the mindset they have
could be replaced with a mindset that would help them get through life easier
oblivious people tend to have some negative impact on the social fabric
they can't see there shadow (check out Carl Jung's concept of the shadow)
and use too many defense mechanisms
they are rough around the edges and it hurts them
a self aware person would be considered dynamic.
an oblivious person would be considered static.
Realize that most people act out of a good intention, very few act out with malicious intent
you should try to analyze what people's good intentions
and realize its not so black and white
that being said, its still definitely possible to be challenged by people (check out section 5)
____4. Morality
morality plays a huge role to your mindset
people follow their idea of what right and wrong is
everybody's moral compass is a little different
due to their upbringing, current environment and genetics.
morality is an abstract concept that we apply to life,
certain morality systems are more valuable to certain groups of people
but generally your morality will be attached to your lifestyle, and when one starts to change the other one slides with it
note I'm not advocating nihilism or saying that all ideas are "equal".
certain morals are necessary for humanity to prosper
I'm progressive and fine with humanism
I'm not saying you shouldn't follow rules either,
but you gotta realize rules are made by people for certain reasons (some better than others), they're not necessarily the guideline to life.
you have the choice to follow external rules or to disregard them,
if you get caught breaking a rule,
the system will give you a consequence for breaking its rule.
But you don't have to be ingrained in any system.
You have the power as an individual to do and follow whatever you want for your own reasons.
Just be aware that people will treat you accordingly
____5. Social Hierarchy
all animals have a social hierarchy
humans are just more complex
but how you go through your life is a major factor contributing to it
some people care about it, others don't, other play it off that they don't
a lot of people shoot the shit/like to play around for fun
its generally about appearing to come out on the top at the end
some do it because its fun to see an opportunity to be witty or clever and use it
some feel its manly to compete
while some do it because they have the need for power
to be superior than others
some enjoy a mix^
there are people out there that try to look at everyone equally
but most people practice snobbery
the view that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons
including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, etc.
Their view is usually closely aligned to there place in life
Most people that have the ability to be a snob acts like one
since they aren't totally secure and like having power over people.
it really depends on how your actions affect your reality
if you feel like your better/worse than people but don't act upon it, who really cares what you believe
but most people tend to act on there beliefs since there beliefs define reality for them
if they can withstand being corrupted by power then its fine for them to be a snob
i've noticed
the lower (one perceived as the lower status) can play off the way the higher (one perceived as the higher status) acts as insecurity or compensation.
while the higher can play off his actions in multiple ways; either claim the they simply like competing and winning (its what men do), that their just playing around and having fun(life just a game), or just play off the lower status by attacking a characteristic or action him.
its fine to play off the others side, people like the feeling that there side is right
but generally if your always playing someone or their side off
its because your uncomfortable with them
which means your not totally comfortable about your self/side
dudes (whether alpha or not) with an offensive mindset play off other alphas
they look for an error/common perception of the alpha and use that
whether it be them being a tool, dick, ass or douchebag (for guys)
basically they try to find how the alpha faults in playing his action off and use that
people without an offensive mindset simply have respect for other alphas
along this line of thought
(almost) everybody has an incentive for doing stuff
(almost) everybody acts out of there best interest
most people acting altruistic do it
because they're getting benefits from acting that way
how people accept a person
is based off how well the person can present themselves to the world
(or play off if life's just a big game to them)
if someones devoting their life to a cause, an idea or an ideology
you have to ask, are they doing it because they'd truly give their life up for it?
(and if they would give there life up for it, are they just doing it because of what they get in the afterlife?)
is there any advantage for them to follow it (even if the advantage is just adding meaning to their life)?
its easy for people to convince themselves something when they feel it fits there needs
if someone is indoctrinated with a system at a very young age
its very hard for them to look at things from outside the system they had
and the longer they follow their system
the more they wrap their head around it and can use logic and ideas to defend themselves
its a very tricky situation
i feel the only people that don't act out of self interest
are those who are totally selfless and live a pure life (very rare people too)
____6. A Pure Life
the most pure way to live your life
would be to love your neighbor as yourself
and not hate/challenge people
be a good example, do your duty
never need praise, approval or sympathy
keep the power inside
I feel its best to be humanistic and pragmatic with interactions
to act in a way to benefit yourself and everyone around you
instead of just looking out for yourself
You shouldn't play many games with people
Most people can't stand these types of people
"Many games are played most intensely by disturbed people; generally speaking, the more disturbed they are, the harder they play."
Generally the best option is just to tell the truth
and let people deal with it (whether or not they can handle it)
Although sometimes you can rationalize lying to closeminded people:
They're not willing to think objectively and look at other peoples paths in life
Its not because I feel that I knew better than them,
just because my life experiences and theirs don’t match up
our paths in life are different
Although if you get caught in this type of lie,
even though you had good intentions,
it discredits you and your opinion.
its best to just not get involved in power play /people's games
don't try to be a higher than others, that's not cool
only try to work on yourself to make yourself better
if someone tries to lower you don't let them
and possibly make them not want to try it again
although a defense that practices retaliation will probably fuel to the fire
since many people that practice offense do it
the best way to handle's someone game
involves you not playing it/ being better than it
(depending on the situation)
if you don't play it you can be played off by them as a bitch for not competing
but your in the right by being the better man and not entering their reality
although sometimes in life your forced into someone elses game
in which case you should be better than it if you can
if you can't do anything or don't want to put the effort into it (depending on how competetive you are)
just shrug it off and realize it doesn't really matter, its all in there head
for some people if you challenge their view on the social hierarchy
they'll try extra hard to bring you down
although it should be noted that not everybody practices offense because of insecurity
just that insecurity can be easily viewed in most people that practice offense
some people will even go as far as to treat you in a way
to try to feel like they are better than you:
I'd call these people power trippers/tools
they may not say high to you unless you first say high to them
(although some people are just shy and awkward)
they may overplay, spin or twist your small mistakes or ambiguous actions.
they might play mind games with you
they might give you negative cues (such as being unfriendly)
they most likely will gossip about you and
try to shatter your composure and get a response from you
the best way to deal with this is depends on the situation
especially on how often you have to interact with them
and what their reaction to your reaction to their prodding at you will be
just don't let people that attack you win
don't give in to external influences using negative tactics,
deal with it it if you have to
defend yourself, be assertive and tactful when they're pushing your limits
but don't let the insignificant stuff they do bother you,
(don't sweat the small stuff)
if you stay composed
they'll be the ones trying too hard and getting no results
some people care too much about
social status/wealth/physical attraction
and only pursue that in your life
(there's nothing wrong with caring about it and acting upon it,
but when you feel that's the only thing that matters
you stop caring about other people and turn into a douchebag)
only to end up being brought down/ alienated from everyone
you have to have a strong moral code
(love, truth and honor for the win)
""nothing really matters unless you have a code"
in the end, physical appeal, money, and high-ranking status will all fade away
that's why, in the end, all that matters is your self image
which is based off of your code
be wary of shallow people, they don't realize this
and the more you hang out with shallow people,
the more they influence you and the more shallow you will become
____7. What Holds People Back
Most people are hold back in life
because of faulty mindsets;
they have negative thoughts
and are too hard on themselves
they possibly also letting external influences define them
and hold a negative structure of the world
(which creates a self fulfilling prophecy)
they're also not willing to look at their flaws
since their flaws are a sore spot to them
they rather be in denial and rationalize things
or use other defense mechanisms
and stay static as opposed to changing
its best to admit your wrong when you realize you are.
sticking to your guns no matter what is distasteful
its also good to making less assumptions about things
or at least realize when you make assumptions at times
(to get by, like the first impression of someone)
but assumptions can also distance you from the truth of the matter
and make an ass out of u and me
some people only say negative stuff about other people
could be because their insecure about themselves, uncomfortable/disturbed at the person (for many different reasons), could just be because their cynical
or they could just be having a bad day and taking out there aggression
some people only say good stuff about people
maybe they only only see the good in people and are ignorant
maybe they want to be perceived as the above type of person (well minus the ignorance)
maybe they were raised not to say bad stuff about people
could be because they're afraid what the person would think if they heard what they said
or they could just be having a good day and not caring about a persons flaws
you also gotta realize that you can't always define someone by a few actions of thiers
people have there good and bad days,
you might think there something that isn't actually there
because of the foul mood they were feeling
or an error they made
____8. Conclusion
the key to working on yourself
is believing inside that you are the way you want to be
which causes you to act like it and get better at it
(its like learning to ride a bike)
you want to become self aware and objective
I'd suggest to start this process by checking Myer-Briggs
Myer-Briggs is an extensive personality test that I feel works thanks to determinism
If human reactions are just based on our stimuli and how it affects the chemicals in our brains
Then it makes sense that people have different levels of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters
Which act in a certain way based on the situation (and can possibly be changed by lessons and experience over time)
But since its based on a system, there's a structure and order to it.
And if there's a structure and order to it, there are certain patterns present.
What Myer-Briggs does is tell you your patterns of preference to your 8 functions.
Whether you have an extroverted or introverted attitude.
Whether you gather information through sensing or intuition.
Whether you make decision through thinking or feeling.
And whether you have a more judging or perceiving lifestyle.
That being said, your environment and upbringing have a huge factor to how you act, but the whole nature vs nurture argument is for another time and place.
The idea that using your Myer-Briggs profile as an excuse for everything you do is wack.
But to become a better individual you must 'know thyself'
Until you know yourself, you aren't aware of flaws and you can't work on trying to improve them.
Your security should be based off the feeling that you can handle whatever's coming your way
You start to get this when you have things figured out
don't let people don't hold you back from improvement
people will do that because they don't like change
they'll try to bring you down once you start to work on yourself
especially if you over compensate
but being dynamic and changing helps you learn,
being static keeps you in your place
better to learn the skills and failing at first
than never trying to improve
realize that everything you do can be used against you not only by assholes and bitches
but by your friends too
people that don't accept/ are jealous of you will (try to) play your off
or people with a high level of social rejection sensitivity
will start to view you as a something your not
they'll put you in a box
taking away your humanity
and put their aggression on you
don't let them get to you
and be the better man
you want to improve your mindset to get the best results to where you want to go in life
its also very useful to never be satisfied with yourself, this will drive you to constantly improve.
My Path: agnostic in the middle/upper class individualist westernized culture
I randomly get impulses to organize my thoughts
and see things with an order and structure
note this is more for those who gather information though intuition (as opposed to sensing)
and make decisions based on thinking (as opposed to feeling)
since they think of things through a system
the problem with a system is that
once you subscribe to it
you can only look at things through it
and you can't truly be objective
the problem with no system
is that if your not strong at sensing and feeling
you're not going to have things figured out
and your most likely going to act like a fool
the compromise is that your system has to be constantly improving
so that you can have the best results
Contents
1. Existentialism
2. Goal in life
____a. Efficient Mindset
____b. Self actualization
3. Maintaining mindset
____a. Defense mechanisms
____b. Locus of control
________i. Pros and Cons
________ii. Objectivity
____c. Faulty mindsets
____d. Intention
4. Morality
____a. Concept
____b. Rules
5. Social Hierarchy
____a. Concept
____b. Shooting the Shit
____c. Snobbery
____d. Morality
____e. Observations
____f. Theory
____g. Alpha's
____h. Self-interest
____i. Dogma
6. A Pure Life
____a. Concept
____b. Interactions
____c. Games
____d. Truth
____e. Social Hierarchy
____f. Shallowness
7. What Holds People Back
____a. Faulty Mindsets
____b. Not Confronting Insecurities
____c. Pride and Assumptions
____d. Projection
8. Conclusion
____a. Working on yourself
____b. Myer-Briggs
____c. Security
____d. People don't like change
____e. Work on your mindset
____1. Existentialism
as humans its our responsibility to give everything meaning
the world, our life, our actions, our opinions, etc..
even though its sorta absurd because there's no definite meaning to anything,
there's only perspective
although ideas/ideals exist
so you can attach meaning to why your actions matter to others
____2. Goal in life
ones goal in life should be to get fulfillment from within,
which is based off of having a good mindset and understanding on how people interact
and being open to experiences, opportunities, and growth
self actualized people "have the tendency to actualize,
as much as possible, [the organism's] individual capacities"
common traits of those self actualized (got from wiki):
They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
They are spontaneous.
They are interested in solving problems.
They are accepting of themselves and also others and lack prejudice.
Everybody has their own mindset to the world, it could be considered their attitude towards it
its starts with their genes and then all the experiences they go through
a polished mindset tends to get you to where what you want to be
a polished mindset involves having all your power come from inside you and having self control
a polished mindset involves realizing when you have the power that you don't have to show it
its how strong of a grip you have on life
that your in control of things and can deal with whatever's coming your way
it includes being pragmatic and having good knowledge acquisition skills
____3. Maintaing mindset
defense mechanisms are psychological strategies
to cope with reality and to maintain self-image.
Healthy persons normally use different defenses throughout life.
An ego defense mechanism becomes negative when its persistent use leads to maladaptive behavior
such that the physical and/or mental health of the individual is adversely affected.
the purpose of the Ego Defense Mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from anxiety, social sanctions or to provide a refuge from a situation with which one cannot currently cope.
check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_mechanism#Categorization_of_Defense_Mechanisms
a person with an internal locus of control
feels they're in control of their reality
they act from within and if other people don't agree its the others fault
they only have to rationalize to themselves
they're living their life by their own standards
a person with an external locus of control
feels that their reality has control over them
they act based on how they feel others will perceive their actions
and if people don't agree with them they change their actions to fit others approval
they will try to rationalize to the crowd
that their opinions and actions were correct
if the majority believes it, it must be true
they both have their pro and cons
it matters how their environment accepts peoples personal standards
but there will always be people out there that won't accept you
based on your persons locus of control
you can be close minded and judgmental
and depending on your upbringing,
you can only worthwhile if they fit society's standards
or be the opposite and think your only worthwhile if your an individual
what you gotta realize is that
there's just a bunch of different systems
which makes an us vs them mentality
and promotes there side as being right
and the side who's actions promote results which you feel is better
you'll perceive that side as better
in my opinion it better to just be yourself and improve based on your standards
than trying to improve yourself to fit the standards of others
as long as your standards aren't selfish, foolish or stupid
faulty mindsets can cause rips to the social fabric and spin things
although certain mindset's are comfortable with doing that as well
the best way to classify if someone has faulty mindset
if the mindset they have
could be replaced with a mindset that would help them get through life easier
oblivious people tend to have some negative impact on the social fabric
they can't see there shadow (check out Carl Jung's concept of the shadow)
and use too many defense mechanisms
they are rough around the edges and it hurts them
a self aware person would be considered dynamic.
an oblivious person would be considered static.
Realize that most people act out of a good intention, very few act out with malicious intent
you should try to analyze what people's good intentions
and realize its not so black and white
that being said, its still definitely possible to be challenged by people (check out section 5)
____4. Morality
morality plays a huge role to your mindset
people follow their idea of what right and wrong is
everybody's moral compass is a little different
due to their upbringing, current environment and genetics.
morality is an abstract concept that we apply to life,
certain morality systems are more valuable to certain groups of people
but generally your morality will be attached to your lifestyle, and when one starts to change the other one slides with it
note I'm not advocating nihilism or saying that all ideas are "equal".
certain morals are necessary for humanity to prosper
I'm progressive and fine with humanism
I'm not saying you shouldn't follow rules either,
but you gotta realize rules are made by people for certain reasons (some better than others), they're not necessarily the guideline to life.
you have the choice to follow external rules or to disregard them,
if you get caught breaking a rule,
the system will give you a consequence for breaking its rule.
But you don't have to be ingrained in any system.
You have the power as an individual to do and follow whatever you want for your own reasons.
Just be aware that people will treat you accordingly
____5. Social Hierarchy
all animals have a social hierarchy
humans are just more complex
but how you go through your life is a major factor contributing to it
some people care about it, others don't, other play it off that they don't
a lot of people shoot the shit/like to play around for fun
its generally about appearing to come out on the top at the end
some do it because its fun to see an opportunity to be witty or clever and use it
some feel its manly to compete
while some do it because they have the need for power
to be superior than others
some enjoy a mix^
there are people out there that try to look at everyone equally
but most people practice snobbery
the view that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons
including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, etc.
Their view is usually closely aligned to there place in life
Most people that have the ability to be a snob acts like one
since they aren't totally secure and like having power over people.
it really depends on how your actions affect your reality
if you feel like your better/worse than people but don't act upon it, who really cares what you believe
but most people tend to act on there beliefs since there beliefs define reality for them
if they can withstand being corrupted by power then its fine for them to be a snob
i've noticed
the lower (one perceived as the lower status) can play off the way the higher (one perceived as the higher status) acts as insecurity or compensation.
while the higher can play off his actions in multiple ways; either claim the they simply like competing and winning (its what men do), that their just playing around and having fun(life just a game), or just play off the lower status by attacking a characteristic or action him.
its fine to play off the others side, people like the feeling that there side is right
but generally if your always playing someone or their side off
its because your uncomfortable with them
which means your not totally comfortable about your self/side
dudes (whether alpha or not) with an offensive mindset play off other alphas
they look for an error/common perception of the alpha and use that
whether it be them being a tool, dick, ass or douchebag (for guys)
basically they try to find how the alpha faults in playing his action off and use that
people without an offensive mindset simply have respect for other alphas
along this line of thought
(almost) everybody has an incentive for doing stuff
(almost) everybody acts out of there best interest
most people acting altruistic do it
because they're getting benefits from acting that way
how people accept a person
is based off how well the person can present themselves to the world
(or play off if life's just a big game to them)
if someones devoting their life to a cause, an idea or an ideology
you have to ask, are they doing it because they'd truly give their life up for it?
(and if they would give there life up for it, are they just doing it because of what they get in the afterlife?)
is there any advantage for them to follow it (even if the advantage is just adding meaning to their life)?
its easy for people to convince themselves something when they feel it fits there needs
if someone is indoctrinated with a system at a very young age
its very hard for them to look at things from outside the system they had
and the longer they follow their system
the more they wrap their head around it and can use logic and ideas to defend themselves
its a very tricky situation
i feel the only people that don't act out of self interest
are those who are totally selfless and live a pure life (very rare people too)
____6. A Pure Life
the most pure way to live your life
would be to love your neighbor as yourself
and not hate/challenge people
be a good example, do your duty
never need praise, approval or sympathy
keep the power inside
I feel its best to be humanistic and pragmatic with interactions
to act in a way to benefit yourself and everyone around you
instead of just looking out for yourself
You shouldn't play many games with people
Most people can't stand these types of people
"Many games are played most intensely by disturbed people; generally speaking, the more disturbed they are, the harder they play."
Generally the best option is just to tell the truth
and let people deal with it (whether or not they can handle it)
Although sometimes you can rationalize lying to closeminded people:
They're not willing to think objectively and look at other peoples paths in life
Its not because I feel that I knew better than them,
just because my life experiences and theirs don’t match up
our paths in life are different
Although if you get caught in this type of lie,
even though you had good intentions,
it discredits you and your opinion.
its best to just not get involved in power play /people's games
don't try to be a higher than others, that's not cool
only try to work on yourself to make yourself better
if someone tries to lower you don't let them
and possibly make them not want to try it again
although a defense that practices retaliation will probably fuel to the fire
since many people that practice offense do it
the best way to handle's someone game
involves you not playing it/ being better than it
(depending on the situation)
if you don't play it you can be played off by them as a bitch for not competing
but your in the right by being the better man and not entering their reality
although sometimes in life your forced into someone elses game
in which case you should be better than it if you can
if you can't do anything or don't want to put the effort into it (depending on how competetive you are)
just shrug it off and realize it doesn't really matter, its all in there head
for some people if you challenge their view on the social hierarchy
they'll try extra hard to bring you down
although it should be noted that not everybody practices offense because of insecurity
just that insecurity can be easily viewed in most people that practice offense
some people will even go as far as to treat you in a way
to try to feel like they are better than you:
I'd call these people power trippers/tools
they may not say high to you unless you first say high to them
(although some people are just shy and awkward)
they may overplay, spin or twist your small mistakes or ambiguous actions.
they might play mind games with you
they might give you negative cues (such as being unfriendly)
they most likely will gossip about you and
try to shatter your composure and get a response from you
the best way to deal with this is depends on the situation
especially on how often you have to interact with them
and what their reaction to your reaction to their prodding at you will be
just don't let people that attack you win
don't give in to external influences using negative tactics,
deal with it it if you have to
defend yourself, be assertive and tactful when they're pushing your limits
but don't let the insignificant stuff they do bother you,
(don't sweat the small stuff)
if you stay composed
they'll be the ones trying too hard and getting no results
some people care too much about
social status/wealth/physical attraction
and only pursue that in your life
(there's nothing wrong with caring about it and acting upon it,
but when you feel that's the only thing that matters
you stop caring about other people and turn into a douchebag)
only to end up being brought down/ alienated from everyone
you have to have a strong moral code
(love, truth and honor for the win)
""nothing really matters unless you have a code"
in the end, physical appeal, money, and high-ranking status will all fade away
that's why, in the end, all that matters is your self image
which is based off of your code
be wary of shallow people, they don't realize this
and the more you hang out with shallow people,
the more they influence you and the more shallow you will become
____7. What Holds People Back
Most people are hold back in life
because of faulty mindsets;
they have negative thoughts
and are too hard on themselves
they possibly also letting external influences define them
and hold a negative structure of the world
(which creates a self fulfilling prophecy)
they're also not willing to look at their flaws
since their flaws are a sore spot to them
they rather be in denial and rationalize things
or use other defense mechanisms
and stay static as opposed to changing
its best to admit your wrong when you realize you are.
sticking to your guns no matter what is distasteful
its also good to making less assumptions about things
or at least realize when you make assumptions at times
(to get by, like the first impression of someone)
but assumptions can also distance you from the truth of the matter
and make an ass out of u and me
some people only say negative stuff about other people
could be because their insecure about themselves, uncomfortable/disturbed at the person (for many different reasons), could just be because their cynical
or they could just be having a bad day and taking out there aggression
some people only say good stuff about people
maybe they only only see the good in people and are ignorant
maybe they want to be perceived as the above type of person (well minus the ignorance)
maybe they were raised not to say bad stuff about people
could be because they're afraid what the person would think if they heard what they said
or they could just be having a good day and not caring about a persons flaws
you also gotta realize that you can't always define someone by a few actions of thiers
people have there good and bad days,
you might think there something that isn't actually there
because of the foul mood they were feeling
or an error they made
____8. Conclusion
the key to working on yourself
is believing inside that you are the way you want to be
which causes you to act like it and get better at it
(its like learning to ride a bike)
you want to become self aware and objective
I'd suggest to start this process by checking Myer-Briggs
Myer-Briggs is an extensive personality test that I feel works thanks to determinism
If human reactions are just based on our stimuli and how it affects the chemicals in our brains
Then it makes sense that people have different levels of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters
Which act in a certain way based on the situation (and can possibly be changed by lessons and experience over time)
But since its based on a system, there's a structure and order to it.
And if there's a structure and order to it, there are certain patterns present.
What Myer-Briggs does is tell you your patterns of preference to your 8 functions.
Whether you have an extroverted or introverted attitude.
Whether you gather information through sensing or intuition.
Whether you make decision through thinking or feeling.
And whether you have a more judging or perceiving lifestyle.
That being said, your environment and upbringing have a huge factor to how you act, but the whole nature vs nurture argument is for another time and place.
The idea that using your Myer-Briggs profile as an excuse for everything you do is wack.
But to become a better individual you must 'know thyself'
Until you know yourself, you aren't aware of flaws and you can't work on trying to improve them.
Your security should be based off the feeling that you can handle whatever's coming your way
You start to get this when you have things figured out
don't let people don't hold you back from improvement
people will do that because they don't like change
they'll try to bring you down once you start to work on yourself
especially if you over compensate
but being dynamic and changing helps you learn,
being static keeps you in your place
better to learn the skills and failing at first
than never trying to improve
realize that everything you do can be used against you not only by assholes and bitches
but by your friends too
people that don't accept/ are jealous of you will (try to) play your off
or people with a high level of social rejection sensitivity
will start to view you as a something your not
they'll put you in a box
taking away your humanity
and put their aggression on you
don't let them get to you
and be the better man
you want to improve your mindset to get the best results to where you want to go in life
its also very useful to never be satisfied with yourself, this will drive you to constantly improve.
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. Do you even read over your posts before you submit them?