Me and the forum

[Coolydudey]

A short plea: this is an honest thread, so if you're not interested in it, or would prefer to think of it as pompous/egocentric/narcissistic, then please refrain from showing this in the comments. Thanks.

Mods: I had no idea where to put this, without placing it somewhere irrelevant/random, so feel free to move it. Its content is important to me, so I would greatly appreciate it staying somewhere where it would attract a plenty of honest opinions. Thank you.

You may or may not have noticed that I am posting increasingly less recently. I am indeed thinking of leaving (probably permanently), and if this is the case, any of my last posts will be in this thread. Recently, I have been finding the content somewhat uninteresting (as I see that many others are).
But, I will do something unusual: rather than make this judgement myself, I will ask the forum what its collective opinion of me is, and then decide. So, there is a poll if you wish, but I would really appreciate any comment that says anything from "I love you" to "Go fuck yourself, you are annoying". If it turns out (which I'm not expecting really) that you guys like me, I'll make the effort to stay and keep contributing. Maybe I'll find what once interested me here again.
Please be objective.

 

[BigApplePi]

I put "I get a positive feeling about you." For some reason I believe I see some of your posts but don't know if I get a representative tally. There is something about you that seems a little "off base" to me. (I couldn't nail what that was.) What I do like is the topics I saw you brought up. What I find missing (for me) is to make a connection.

Comment on content. You may not agree with this, but I find one must interact to gain an interest in content at least for me. If one's postings are too self-preoccupied and avoid feedback, you gain little. That's just a general statement not necessarily applied to you.

I vaguely recall I replied to some post of yours but you didn't reply to it. If you cite another post of yours you'd now like a feedback on, I can give one ... but I'm not sure you will reply to this.

 

[Words]

I see a socio-philosophical problem here [which is my usual concern]. Why do you prefer to be so passive? Why do you just lie around waiting for someone or the social collective to serve you? A collective is nothing without its individual agents. There is no "the content", there is only "content created by agent A or B or content by you yourself." An agent can and is the primary source for allowing for what you want to take root. You can create the supply and you can even create the demand. You can create the content and you can find a way to make it interesting. I'm probably exaggerating things but I can't help it. Its fun to exaggerate.

Comment on content. You may not agree with this, but I find one must interact to gain an interest in content at least for me. If one's postings are too self-preoccupied and avoid feedback, you gain little. That's just a general statement not necessarily applied to you.

I vaguely recall I replied to some post of yours but you didn't reply to it. If you cite another post of yours you'd now like a feedback on, I can give one ... but I'm not sure you will reply to this.

Good stuff.

 

[Coolydudey]

Thanks for the replies guys, just a couple of things:
BAP, I know what you mean about comment on content, it's one thing I had thought about. I've also noticed in myself what you call in me "off base" (haven't pinned it down wither), and trouble making a connection with the forum properly. Perhaps you could elaborate a bit, because these may be the biggest problems?
Words, I know that, and that's why I've tried to create some (for me) interesting threads. I don't know if you noticed, but I did say that if I stayed, I would try to be and active contributor (content-creator).

It would be interesting to hear some negative comments as well. (I hope nobody trolled on the poll...)

 

[Da Blob]

It is a matter of investment and motivation. Like BAP suggest if one is not invested in a thread, one tends not to get much from reading it. I have always wondered about the Lurkers, who seemingly outnumber the members by quite a margin. What do they get out of merely visiting the forum?

One can always posts new threads, if there are none of interest on the board. Some new thread spark a conversations - others don't - but then there is no penalty for failure to submit a fascinating OP...

Why does one post comments?

For Self or Others?

This forum is a good place to grow. If one is not growing then there is something amiss (?)

 

[MichiganJFrog]

If you're at all like me, maybe you just sometimes feel like you don't belong anywhere -- or maybe I'm totally off base, I don't know. When I first joined up, I was like, "Shit, yeah, baby, I'm home now!"

As it always does, that euphoric feeling has worn off and reality has set in. It may not look like it, but these are all actual people with differing opinions. Hopefully, each of us will occasionally hear someone say, "Yeah, man, you nailed it!" But I don't expect that to be a daily occurrence.

I don't know, I hope that helps. I guess maybe give it a few days and see if you still feel like bolting.

 

[Lostwitheal]

Where's the option for "I have no idea who you are and can't remember reading any of your posts, except this one?"

 

[BigApplePi]

I've also noticed in myself what you call in me "off base" (haven't pinned it down wither), and trouble making a connection with the forum properly. Perhaps you could elaborate a bit, because these may be the biggest problems?

This is a test. This is a test. Testing ...

If you'd like an elaboration, that's why I asked for a sample post of yours. I need a sample to practice on. Perhaps that's not fair of me to ask and hard for you to choose if you tried that.

One sample post would be in or of this thread. I suppose everyone has a knowledge, more or less, of their abilities. I think you openly show you don't know what your abilities, or at least some of them are. There is a central "you." A person who knows what they are. You are looking for that. Otherwise why would you ask others opinions in this thread?* Nothing wrong with that. Just an observation.

Now if I comment on you, it's not entirely sensible to place the meaning of what I say unless I say where I'm at on the subject. So me: I take things slightly differently. I don't ask people, "what do you think of me?" ... I'd rather interpret the answer to that by what they say unprompted. (I may have slipped up once or twice.) Anyway that's enough for now.

*When you get others opinions, are you to trust that? It's not that what people say is untrustworthy ... its more that we can't trust an undefined accuracy. What you get is whether people like you or not. Should I ask my wife whether she likes me or not? Wouldn't a yes or no answer be ridiculous? I get the answer from experiencing her. I ought to know the answer by now without asking. Hold on ... maybe I will go ask her just for you, lol.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Perhaps some here are more appreciated by lurkers than they realize. Using my habits as an example, some days I'm all over the place, but on most I'm reading & lurking.

Perhaps you should consider such an approach, only poking your head out when something worthy draws you out? Personally some of those here I respect the most do exactly this, and when they do post it's a useful contribution. Grove is an example.

 

[BigApplePi]

Speaking of habit I hope to attend a seminar tonight called, "The Power of Habit."
http://intpforum.com/member.php?u=5841

 

[EyeSeeCold]

The thread seems a little dramatic, it's not like it's a relationship or something.

If you don't find the forum interesting, you don't have to force yourself to be here, nor do you need any approval from anyone here. Just take a break for awhile, or contribute on topics you find interesting by creating threads.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMaE6toi4mk

 

[Solitaire U.]

I haven't really noticed you, which shouldn't necessarily be interpreted negatively. I mean, you've only been here a few months...

You seem mild-mannered, intelligent, and...well, sane, which is always a good thing.

 

[Coolydudey]

The thread seems a little dramatic, it's not like it's a relationship or something.

If you don't find the forum interesting, you don't have to force yourself to be here, nor do you need any approval from anyone here. Just take a break for awhile, or contribute on topics you find interesting by creating threads.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMaE6toi4mk

Of course it is, you'd have to be a bit of an idiot not to notice it. Anyway, I was just trying to attract honest opinions and keep trolls away (after all, it is pretty fertile land for trolls), and it seems to have worked, so I'm happy.

I've decided that I'm going to take a break for a week or so, and just casually read up on a few of the topics, and start a couple of new threads with any interesting ideas I have, see how it rolls.
Since you guys have shown an overall slightly positive opinion, I'll just stay with the motivation that its cool by everyone (if not slightly desirable), and if anything, something for me to do.
Narcissistic thread over guys, thanks.

 

[Grove]

First, my apologies for unearthing this thread, but I was summoned so I'm gonna go ahead and add my two cents.

Thank you, @thehabitatdoctor. It is good to know that one's contributions are appreciated...which is what this thread is about, correct? Those sentiments don't come through often enough here (or anywhere else for that matter) and I think we should all be more conscience of the fact that we are real people talking to (sometimes at) other real people. We all need a ping back from those we choose to interact with every once in a while. Coolydudey was honest about wanting that, so kudos.

@Coolydudey - Sorry, but I am unfamiliar with your posts & will need to do some reading before I can adequately answer your question. At the very least, using this thread as an introduction, you seem capable of rational self-reflection. I'm a fan of that characteristic...so good so far. If you want I'll read up and will give you a more thoughtful response on pm - let me know if that is wanted.

@Da Blob - I've been thinking about how I interact on this forum & how that may or may not meet the expectations of others here. Admittedly, I'm more likely to comment when compelled to rather than be one of the thread initiators. I've started a few, but I don't find it as fulfilling as adding to an existing idea, nor do I think I'm very good at starting threads. Maybe it is something I could/should work on -as an attempt at the growth you mentioned. Nor am I good at responding to comments to my contributions in threads; I see this and will try to do better. BUT, I see nothing innately negative or immature about being a lurker.

There are as many ways of using this forum as there are members. Sometimes I have bouts of contributing to threads, sometimes I read just for intellectual fuel, and sometimes I ignore this place completely. To strive for balance is always good, but creating a dichotomy between posting for oneself or for others ignores the many ways individuals use this forum, and asks us to place a value on one type of use over another. Perhaps you can define exactly what is meant by for "self" or "others". Even then, we would only gain a better understanding of how YOU view your role here, and what YOU value as an adequate or fulfilling experience here. Which is fine, by all means if you want to share that with us please do, but I don’t think having the right vs. wrong way of using this forum conversation is a useful exercise.

 

[Etheri]

Perhaps some here are more appreciated by lurkers than they realize. Using my habits as an example, some days I'm all over the place, but on most I'm reading & lurking.

In in a lurking phase. You're doing fine, breathe in - breathe out, relax.

 

[snafupants]

Recently, I have been finding the content somewhat uninteresting (as I see that many others are).

It's interesting that INTPs view this predicament and, indeed, the entire world's problems with resignation. You are a portion of the tapestry my friend.

If it turns out (which I'm not expecting really) that you guys like me, I'll make the effort to stay and keep contributing.

Inferior Fe alert! Why should I say either way how I feel about you?

Would it help? Should it help? You seem, my friend, to be using people as pawns.

So, the only reason you post is for laurels? That's distorted and sick.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

In in a lurking phase. You're doing fine, breathe in - breathe out, relax.

*Lurks MOAR*

 

[Da Blob]

@Da Blob - I've been thinking about how I interact on this forum & how that may or may not meet the expectations of others here. Admittedly, I'm more likely to comment when compelled to rather than be one of the thread initiators. I've started a few, but I don't find it as fulfilling as adding to an existing idea, nor do I think I'm very good at starting threads. Maybe it is something I could/should work on -as an attempt at the growth you mentioned. Nor am I good at responding to comments to my contributions in threads; I see this and will try to do better. BUT, I see nothing innately negative or immature about being a lurker.

There are as many ways of using this forum as there are members. Sometimes I have bouts of contributing to threads, sometimes I read just for intellectual fuel, and sometimes I ignore this place completely. To strive for balance is always good, but creating a dichotomy between posting for oneself or for others ignores the many ways individuals use this forum, and asks us to place a value on one type of use over another. Perhaps you can define exactly what is meant by for "self" or "others". Even then, we would only gain a better understanding of how YOU view your role here, and what YOU value as an adequate or fulfilling experience here. Which is fine, by all means if you want to share that with us please do, but I don’t think having the right vs. wrong way of using this forum conversation is a useful exercise.

Hmm! It would be quite a challenge to respond adequately in 25 words or less.

Two concepts seem pivotable - expectation and utility and a third seems to be emergent (expectation of utility/utility of expectation).

All of society is built upon humans meeting the expectations of other humans. We each must perform as actors and artists those prewritten roles, so that the play can go on. We as individuals, have not just one list of expectations/ one role, but many and it appears that the more 'social' a person is, the more roles he or she has to act out. The traditional roles we are familiar with: dutiful child, dedicated student, trusted peer, responsible parent, loving spouse etc., each come with a list of expectations, a burden and a debt.

The question is whether any of these traditional roles have any bearing on the 'social' relationships to be found on the internet in forums like this one (?). What is the list of expectations, the role that a 'good' forum member must play to be accepted?

How must he or she allow themselves to be used? Perhaps, one of the worst insults is the statement " I have absolutely No use for that person" for we judge worth by utility.

For my own self this is how the utility has worked out. Each of the subforums has a different utility for me and I in turn have assumed different roles when I post in those different subforums, ( thinking perhaps more of a team role, than an individual script).

When I am writing in the Philosophy and Faith subforum, I am a Defender of the Faith and an antagonist towards many of the popular philosophies. I write to profit my own Self in this subforum, for often my thoughts on certain issues are nebulous until they are recorded in a comment. The provocation motivates me to do something, rather than just think about something. The problem with thought, even wonderful thought, is that if the thought does not result in action, it is as if the thought never existed. As goes the thought, so goes a thinker. A great thinker who does not act on thought may not even be remembered as existing as a cogent being.

For the other subforums that I frequent fewer times, often my motives are less selfish. I post in psychology as a psychologist. I post in other subforums as a counselor, volunteering utility as such. I post art as an artist etc. My motivation then is simply to share with Others that which could be interesting or useful.

When I write for my Self, I take...
When I write for Others, I give...
Give or take a margin of error

It is a good question, one I don't have the answer to, "Does my utility given to the forum, balance the utility taken from the forum?" If not, then why do I persist in an unprofitable venture, in the role of a scapegoat?

Sorry for the rambling...

 

[Coolydudey]

@Grove, don't worry about it, thanks for offering.

@snafupants?!
I did try to contribute, so point 1 is invalid (that doesn't stop me being a piece of the tapestry though )
There is inferior Fe in the mix here, but not in the way you think. It just drives me if I know people appreciate my contributions... And yes, I do use people as pawns somewhat, but in context you've got it wrong.

 

[snafupants]

I did try to contribute, so point 1 is invalid (that doesn't stop me being a piece of the tapestry though )

That doesn't invalidate the point. You can definitely be active and resigned. You mentioned finding the forum material uninteresting, which denigrates your own presence. Hence, resignation. You can alter your own reality but you have decided against that route.

 

[Coolydudey]

That doesn't invalidate the point. You can definitely be active and resigned. You mentioned finding the forum material uninteresting, which denigrates your own presence. Hence, resignation. You can alter your own reality but you have decided against that route.

@snafupants
True, but I meant what I said in the sense that I wasn't resigned because I was active so as to try and resolve the issue.
Also, you assume that I found the total of the forum material uninteresting, which is not true. (If I got the right meaning of the words...)

Just take my word for it...