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Let's get emotional

ItsRelative

Quintessence of dust
Joined
Sep 9, 2011
Messages
66
Location
Lapland of Finland
#1
I'v been wondering if other INTPs feel strong emotions and bottle them up like i do? If true then it could be asked if we act on our thinking because we have milder emotions that can be easily discarded or do we have emotions too strong to be acted upon or showed as we would want to?

I feel very uncomfortable showing my feelings when not alone as they tend to go out of control very quickly but when i let those feeling flow, in very rare social situation or like usually alone i get tears and all that, wonderful feeling but my head usually hurts after.

Feels stupid to even mention but even this gets me almost crying when i let it. Just feeling what the singer feels.
And i don't even know what the hell they'r saying! :)

Any other weaklings here? OR brave enough to feel the world :D
 

Trebuchet

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
1,018
Location
California, USA
#2
I don't imagine INTP emotions are either stronger or weaker than those of other people. Certainly we are capable of strong - even overwhelming - emotion, but so is everyone else. Maybe we get emotional about different things from other types, I don't know.

I act on thoughts, rather than emotions, because I don't think emotions are generally a good basis for making decisions. Just because I want the leather upholstery doesn't mean I can afford it, or that it is a good buying decision. The fact that someone cut me off on the freeway, making my vision go red, doesn't mean I should then cut them off. Hmmm, I seem to be focused on cars today.

There are exceptions, mostly when I am deciding whether to trust someone. If my gut instinct is to get away from them, that feeling is usually right and should not be ignored.

Another exception is when it doesn't matter much. When deciding what to make for dinner, I go with my emotions. I am in the mood for fish? For salad? Well, that's what the family gets for dinner. Naturally I apply reason to it. Serving spaghetti three nights in a row isn't a good idea, and there has to be a vegetable of some kind, but mostly emotion runs that decision process.

I get weepy over everything. Any strong emotion makes me weepy, along with anything sentimental. Movies, songs, just thinking about people I love. I find this super-annoying, so I avoid chick movies.
 

ItsRelative

Quintessence of dust
Joined
Sep 9, 2011
Messages
66
Location
Lapland of Finland
#3
Bit tired and lazy so in short. I agree on lot what you said, but when i'm alone i enjoy feeling strong positive emotions, maybe i just need to vent after hard day of bottling up.
 

Dapper Dan

Did zat sting?
Joined
Aug 1, 2011
Messages
465
Location
Indiana
#5
I've found the Fe portion of the typelogic INTP profile to be pretty accurate.
Extraverted Feeling
Feeling tends to be all or none. When present, the INTP's concern for others is intense, albeit naive. In a crisis, this feeling judgement is often silenced by the emergence of Thinking, who rushes in to avert chaos and destruction. In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured. INTPs are at risk of being swept away by the shadow in the form of their own strong emotional impulses.
The part about Thinking rushing in to avert chaos feels especially familiar. Any time I begin to feel unwanted emotions I automatically close myself off and try to regain control. Some emotions are ok, of course (enjoying a beautiful song, for instance), but I've learned from experience that my little Fe doesn't deal with things like anger very well.

Also, leather upholstery sucks.
 

Peeps999

Active Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2011
Messages
144
Location
Indiana
#6
Yeah I bottle it all up until something small makes me explode, but most people don't realize everything is coming out at once, so they see it as me overreacting.
 

Lot

Don't forget to bring a towel
Joined
Aug 9, 2011
Messages
1,246
Location
Phoenix, Arizona
#7
I've gotten better at not bottling my emotions up. I used to be really bad. Once a week exploding in a fit of hole punching rage. I journal now, when I'm angry, or if I'm sad. I know that when I start to fall for a person. romantically, I tend to bottle it up and act as if I'm not interested. This works for about a month or two, and then I get slammed with a flood of emotions for the person. It's annoying because I have more important things to do then get romantically involved with someone right now. Although journaling helps me in this aspect as well. I think journaling helps us visualize our emotions. Turning them into words gets rid of the vagueness they are, and then we can address them as thoughts.
 

Irishpenguin

...at the SAME time
Joined
Nov 10, 2009
Messages
328
Location
Oh...whoops
#8
I have gotten much better with emotional things over the past couple of years. Though there is still a crap-ton to figure out, I don't bottle up as much as I used to, or not in the same way at least.

Though I will say that when I bottled up before, I never really had a good outlet on a normal basis, I actually would end up just breaking down and pretty much a lot of strong emotions, Anger, Sadness, and even Happiness would just hit me all at once that had been built up over months and months. I pretty much just teared up and couldn't stop shaking, had trouble breathing too, it was pretty weird, but I think it only happened about twice. and last time was more than a year ago. Now I just try to have fun, and there isn't much stressing me out any more like in the past.

Right now I'm just having problems with intense anger here and there sometimes I wish I would act on the anger, but honestly I don't know what to even do, punch the wall? well it wasn't really the wall I was mad at, now was I? I honestly can't really focus on one thing to be mad at actually, it's mostly large groups of things and situations. kinda suks.... though things DO happen that bring me a smile nowadays.:)

And FYI, songs TOOOTALLY bring it out of me, regardless of language or even lyrics! and I do think journals help, I'm just now starting, and it's quite enjoyable if you make it that way.
 

Jedi

Active Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
171
#9
I'm not a huge star trek fan but I somewhat identify with Vulcans and their emotions:

"Vulcans are not depicted as having no emotions; although they themselves make this claim, Vulcans are exceptionally emotional. They developed techniques to suppress their emotions precisely because of the damage they can cause if unchecked. In the episode "Gravity" of Star Trek: Voyager, Tuvok explains that Vulcans' natural emotions are "erratic and volatile"; if Vulcans do not strongly repress emotions, they can get violently angry in an instant."

Not to the point of being violent, usually, but it is something that if not kept a firm grip on, can result in an outburst that I will regret later. Being bi-polar doesn't help either :twisteddevil:
 

Trebuchet

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
1,018
Location
California, USA
#10
I've found the Fe portion of the typelogic INTP profile to be pretty accurate.
The part about Thinking rushing in to avert chaos feels especially familiar. Any time I begin to feel unwanted emotions I automatically close myself off and try to regain control. Some emotions are ok, of course (enjoying a beautiful song, for instance), but I've learned from experience that my little Fe doesn't deal with things like anger very well.

Also, leather upholstery sucks.
Yeah, well, I'm not really buying a new car, and I don't really like leather upholstery. But you have to admit it costs more.

There's a good chance my daughter is INTP (or maybe INTJ - seven-year-olds are hard to type). The first time she got truly angry with me and was sophisticated enough to express it, it scared her badly. She was crying and shaking and afraid to tell me what was wrong.

I told her that being angry happened to everyone, even when people loved each other. It didn't mean she didn't love me, or that I didn't love her, and it was okay to be mad at me. This seemed to work, and these days she just tells me when she is mad at me, and isn't afraid of it. It usually doesn't last long either: a few minutes to a couple of hours. Her emotions don't overwhelm or scare her, which frankly puts her ahead of me sometimes.

Modern society does not deal well with anger. We tend to deny it, not just INTPs but everyone. People don't understand why they aren't instantly forgiven: "What? I said I was sorry!" We are told, "Just get over it." There isn't really a good way to express it to the person who made you mad. So by the time anger is actually acknowledged, it is huge and hard to control, and scary. At least as INTPs, we can apply some logic. It's better than nothing.

@Peeps999: Isn't that annoying, when you give warning after warning and they ignore you, until you finally can't stand it and start screaming? Then they say, "What, why are you so angry? I thought you were happy." Grrrrr.
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
7,845
Location
California, USA
#11

Jelly Rev

Active Member
Joined
May 25, 2011
Messages
173
#12
Fe tries to get emotional, then Ne will say look at all the possibilities that could happen. Ti says whats going extraverted subservients...They say "nothing". Ti says "dont make me come over there Fe I rationalize the hell outta u". Fe says "no daddy no". *Ti comes over and throws a upper rationalization followed by an intellectualization to the back of the head. "That should be a lesson to all of you...yea I'm lookin at you Si, better not start getting no values" says Ti.

Pretty much sums up what happens everyday.
 

Awaken

Gone for good
Joined
Nov 24, 2010
Messages
329
#13

Dapper Dan

Did zat sting?
Joined
Aug 1, 2011
Messages
465
Location
Indiana
#14
Fe tries to get emotional, then Ne will say look at all the possibilities that could happen. Ti says whats going extraverted subservients...They say "nothing". Ti says "dont make me come over there Fe I rationalize the hell outta u". Fe says "no daddy no". *Ti comes over and throws a upper rationalization followed by an intellectualization to the back of the head. "That should be a lesson to all of you...yea I'm lookin at you Si, better not start getting no values" says Ti.

Pretty much sums up what happens everyday.
Bahaha. :applause:
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#15
:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:

I just love you guys and ... and ... like ... I love you guys.

:hearts:

Each and everyone of you.

:hearts:

SRSLY.

:hearts:

I love you.

:hearts:

I not only love you all, I wub you.

:hearts:

Come on. Group hug. Don't be shy. Group hug. Come on over here and let ole Noddy give you a squeeze. There you go. What? Oh that. Don't mind that, it's just a ... a ... sausage. Yeah, that's what it is.

:hearts:

Did I tell you that I love you?

:hearts:

I do, y'know.

:hearts:

I really, really, love you.

:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:
 

Dimensional Transition

Bill Cosbor, conqueror of universes
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,165
Location
the Netherlands
#16
Over time, I've learned how to deal with anger and sadness, and am now learning how to deal with love and anxiety. It's all a learning progress, I guess.

Right now, for example, I am extremely uncomfortable and worried all the time because I am 'in love' and I don't know what to do with it exactly. (Well of course I have an idea but this shit is complicated :confused:) My concentration is gone and my inspiration has skyrocketed. I feel like I've lost all boundaries. Which is scary as hell to an INTP who usually tries to avoid too strong emotions.
 

Zionoxis

Active Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2011
Messages
438
Location
USA
#17
As far as my emotions are concerned, one time when I was 10, I guess I had had enough and ended up completely going on a berzerk rampage around my room while all the while, attempting to break things, and finally going under my bed and screaming. I will spare myself the embarrassment of admitting to what it was. It was most likely one of the only times I have ever lost complete control....and I was surprised that to an extent, I still had it as I refused to ever 'break' anything. I just wanted to show my anger.

Now, I show emotion to my friends and those around me. A recent problem is that I am having trouble differentiating to if I am faking the emotion out of habit, out of social requirement, or if I am genuinely feeling it. You know, the jokes you laugh and then you go back and thing, "Wait, that wasn't even funny." I always find this pretty odd.

As for what I can confirm as honest anger, I show spurts of it to those who enter my room whenever I am doing something or in the middle of something. My little sisters will pop in almost consistently and I guess I yell them out of my room out of pure habit (yes, I know I am a horrible person, but it just sort of erupts and dies away).
 

Dr. Freeman

In a place outside of time
Joined
Feb 7, 2011
Messages
726
#18
I used to have a problem with emotional explosions. Then I realized I had gotten to the age where these emotional explosions could land me in jail (juvenile). After one run in with the court system, I never had a problem with violence again.
The end.
 

Pride

Active Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2011
Messages
138
#19
I stabbed a classmate in middle school with a compass once, because I was sick of their stupid behavior in class and them trying to screw with me mentally. It wasn't really bullying, at least not physically or even psychologically and I was never really verbally abused by anyone, but rather just immature and stupid behavior designed to cause me to react and lash back in potentially violent ways (and they succeeded). I was suspended for a month I believe, forced to go see psychologists and therapists, and was forever placed on some sort of blacklist for potential school bombers. When the school actually did receive a bomb threat (which never materialized) and we were told to march back behind the school and form neat little lines, I was admonished for looking at the school and told to turn around.

My teacher's rationale was that we don't want any potential flying debris had the school exploded to hit us in the front of the head. I countered with the fact that if the school did indeed explode, I would want to see where the exploding debris and shrapnel might be coming from so I would have a chance to AVOID them altogether, since I did not see a difference between getting hit in the front or back of the head if the debris were large enough to incapacitate or mortally wound me.

They thought this was enough incentive to bring me in for further questioning.

The funny thing is I've always believed that falsely threatening any school with an imaginary bomb is just recipe for disaster if the individual responsible were caught, e.g. an irrational and stupid risk for absolutely no gain other than some idiotic sense of venting your righteous anger upon an institution which you hate.

Granted, all of these situations taught me more and more about social/human behavior and every mistake I've made has lead to a greater control of my emotions than before. It is still largely crap, however, and I do keep it tightly locked and under control, more or less.
 
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
33
Location
Texas
#20
I bottle up my emotions a lot and vent to friends if it gets bad enough. Outwardly, there're not many signs that i'm holding them back, maybe a sad/angry subconscious glare if i start daydreaming. I start getting very impatient with people and correct them more than usual. If i'm reading and they randomly they can tell they're bothering me. I have a hard time hiding the "what you're about to tell me better be important" look.

I don't think I've ever actually lost control of my anger completely. I just let myself go off if i feel its worth it.
 

xbox

Prolific Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
1,103
#21
:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:

I just love you guys and ... and ... like ... I love you guys.

:hearts:

Each and everyone of you.

:hearts:

SRSLY.

:hearts:

I love you.

:hearts:

I not only love you all, I wub you.

:hearts:

Come on. Group hug. Don't be shy. Group hug. Come on over here and let ole Noddy give you a squeeze. There you go. What? Oh that. Don't mind that, it's just a ... a ... sausage. Yeah, that's what it is.

:hearts:

Did I tell you that I love you?

:hearts:

I do, y'know.

:hearts:

I really, really, love you.

:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:
Come to papa you cute little pumpkin pizza cupcake chicken wing hunneybun.
 

mke2686

Active Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2010
Messages
273
Location
inside my head
#22
You guys make me smile, i don't smile often...
 

anticroquet

Monstermind
Joined
May 27, 2011
Messages
9
Location
Olympia, WA
#23
When I have unpleasant emotions it sometimes takes me a while to figure out what I'm feeling and why. I also "think" myself out of feelings as much as I possibly can. Usually I bottle everything up, but I've gotten better about it because emotional outbursts really embarrass and disgust me.

I've tried to teach my ENFJ friend how to think her way out of taking everything personally. I've not had any luck.
 
Joined
Feb 8, 2015
Messages
1,532
Location
the Purgatory
#24
bumping this old thread because i relate a lot to OP
I'v been wondering if other INTPs feel strong emotions and bottle them up like i do? If true then it could be asked if we act on our thinking because we have milder emotions that can be easily discarded or do we have emotions too strong to be acted upon or showed as we would want to?

I feel very uncomfortable showing my feelings when not alone as they tend to go out of control very quickly but when i let those feeling flow, in very rare social situation or like usually alone i get tears and all that, wonderful feeling but my head usually hurts after.

Feels stupid to even mention but even this gets me almost crying when i let it. Just feeling what the singer feels.
And i don't even know what the hell they'r saying! :)

Any other weaklings here? OR brave enough to feel the world :D
i get emotional when im alone, and i easily cry while watching films or listening to music. i imagine what the singer/musician felt like while recording the song or imagine what it would feel like to be in the character's place. i also experience very very very strong emotions when i read about war(eg. the gaza war last summer made me depressed as hell and i burst into tears on more than one occasion)
the funny thing is, if the exact same scene that evoked strong emotions in me or made me cry were to happen in real life to a person i know, i would probably find it difficult to sympathize or show an immediate emotional response, and end up making contrived attempts at comforting said person...
i dont understand why it is this way tbh
 

BrainVessel

Tony Blair's scrotum
Joined
May 24, 2014
Messages
216
Location
In a small Haitian tribe of despondent pantomimes
#25
bumping this old thread because i relate a lot to OP


i get emotional when im alone, and i easily cry while watching films or listening to music. i imagine what the singer/musician felt like while recording the song or imagine what it would feel like to be in the character's place. i also experience very very very strong emotions when i read about war(eg. the gaza war last summer made me depressed as hell and i burst into tears on more than one occasion)
the funny thing is, if the exact same scene that evoked strong emotions in me or made me cry were to happen in real life to a person i know, i would probably find it difficult to sympathize or show an immediate emotional response, and end up making contrived attempts at comforting said person...
i dont understand why it is this way tbh
Aye, me too. When reading, watching a show, or listening to music I fully insert myself into the mind of the major character I relate to the most. It's pretty overwhelming, but I need to do it because it's cathartic. This(empathy) rarely happens in the moment irl, I find I'm more concerned with studying the person than gauging my own emotional reaction. I usually just pretend I'm empathizing and make a half-assed attempt at comforting them, similar to what you said.
When I do end up emotionally reacting in the moment it usually ends in disaster because I'm awkward as hell when I give a shit.
 
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