INTPs and Repetition

[chocolate]

Hi all.

I have noticed that some of the INTPs in my life tend to repeat things that I say every once in a while in a certain way (and only the INTPs do this). It goes like this:

me: abcdefg
INTP: Oh, you abcdefg huh? (thoughtful and even, almost like they are talking to themselves, and it is always about something I say that I like or dislike or what I am doing, not about impersonal things).

Do any of you do this, or am I just seeing patterns where there are none, or perhaps my INTP sample is odd?

If you do do this, what does it mean?

It doesn't happen very often and I am always surprised by what they pick out. My possibilities (in order of what I think is the most likely, based on the situations in which it has happened) right now are: disappointment, disapproval, curiosity, surprise, or some combinations of those?

Thanks.

 

[cheese]

It's probably curiosity.

Repeating the fact both acknowledges your statement and cements it in their head.

From there they move on to causes and implications (both in other areas and across time). They fit this new information into the mental framework they have of your personality. Some adjustment usually occurs.

It's like putting their shoes on to go for a walk. Repeating after you (aside from the social function it serves) helps trigger the chocky-analysis.

 

[Dylan]

The repeating things back is usually something I do at a limitless time after the initial conversation. Mostly I do it because I want to talk to you about it because you're interesting. And I can't think of any other way of starting a conversation, and having other people understand me, than repeating a suitable part of a previous conversation followed by the question(s). I've learnt that I can't go up to people and say things like "How many bits were left over then?" without at least hinting at the fact I've just recalled a conversation with them about Ikea furniture building.

Also, I think it's something to do with my internal filing system. Everything I know gets filed slightly 'unusually' and it can be difficult to be sure I've got the right info or person. The fact a friend doesn't like mange tout doesn't get filed under Smith, J (27) oh god no! For some reason I file it in Knitwear (purple) because somehow purple jumpers and mangy tout have become linked in my mind. Which without checking beforehand can lead to some very circular and pointless conversations.

So I refer to a quote, memory, or assumption to confirm. And off the conversation goes; if I've played my cards right they'll do all the talking.

 

[Ermine]

I usually don't do that right after I hear someone say something. However, I have a way of referring to what people said previously verbatim if it applies to whatever we're talking about. Example:

Them: abcdefg
Me: hmm. *responds to abcedfg* Files the statement for future use.

a week later...

Them: blah blah blah
Me: Really? I remember you saying abcdefg relating to that subject.
Them: what? I didn't remember saying that.

*awkwardness*

 

[echoplex]

For me, it just usually means I'm excited. Either because I'm happy about what they said, or because I disagree and would like to debate it.

 

[Kuu]

I usually don't do that right after I hear someone say something. However, I have a way of referring to what people said previously verbatim if it applies to whatever we're talking about. Example:

Them: abcdefg
Me: hmm. *responds to abcedfg* Files the statement for future use.

a week later...

Them: blah blah blah
Me: Really? I remember you saying abcdefg relating to that subject.
Them: what? I didn't remember saying that.

*awkwardness*

Happens all the time. The sad thing is when you begin to form your understanding of a person, or the building of a relationship, based on what they say and what you say on the conversations, only to realize much later that they have completely forgotten or failed to take notice of all they told you, and all you told them....

It would seem that for most types of people, conversations are isolated and intrascendental disposable events in the present time, once spoken never to be remembered again... where as for us they are complex, continuous spacial-temporal constructs, constantly being referenced and expanded upon...

 

[Ermine]

Due to that misunderstanding of the purpose of conversation, I often know more about the friend than they think I do and they keep repeating facts about themselves that I already know.

 

[truthseeker72]

I prefer to paraphrase what the speaker has said, before actually commenting on it. I abhor redundancy (as do a lot of INTP's), so parroting what the speaker says doesn't appeal to me. However, when I neatly summarize what the speaker has told me, he/she often seems pleased that I'm actively listening, and I notice an uptick in their voice.

Tekton raises an excellent point. Most extraverts spend little time preparing for or reflecting upon their statements. Their words don't form the basis for anything, they're like disposable tissues.

 

[chocolate]

Neat answers all around...

Most extraverts spend little time preparing for or reflecting upon their statements.

I am some sort of hybrid of the first and negation of the second part of your sentence. I don't normally spend a lot of time preparing my statements during a conversation, but I spend a lot of time reflecting on them (and other's) either during the conversation or afterwards on my own (more so the latter). Then sometimes I want to talk to the person again about it, so I prepare for the next conversation, so it starts prepared, become spontaneous, then I reflect again. I don't know how typical this is of extraverts.

I spend a stupid amount of time having imaginary 'practice' conversations with people about things I'd like to talk about; anyone else do this?

 

[preilemus]

i do that alot

 

[Dylan]

Same as. I spend far too much time having either practice conversations or 're-matches' in my head. The disappointing thing is that these tend to be the most interesting and intellectually stimulating conversations I have. I've spent the last two nights replaying a week old conversation about politics with my brother. Building thought exercises and arguements by analogy; In my head the conversation has become much more nuanced and intriguing than, sadly, we seem capable of when actually conversing; I've built a straw man that's significantly more formidable than the flesh and blood version :s

At least i'll always have myself to talk to.

 

[Tyria]

Repitition changes it from someone else saying it to us saying it. It helps to hear our voice to decide whether we could see ourselves saying/agreeing/disagreeing with what was said. Just a loop mechanism I guess.

 

[Tyria]

Dylan,

It's better to tackle a better version of an argument than to go for the jugular of something weak. It means we are several steps ahead in our thinking process; we might find something better than if we just ended it quickly.

 

[Prof_Pointless]

It's a nice way to stay under the radar and not have to express an opinion on the subject. Or I wasn't paying attention/caring so I just spit it back at them.

Of course the other more benevolent reasons posted are also true sometimes too.

 

[Concojones]

me: abcdefg
INTP: Oh, you abcdefg huh?
If you do do this, what does it mean? My possibilities [...] right now are: disappointment, disapproval, curiosity, surprise, or some combinations of those?

Does the reply immediately follow your statement, or is it said on another occasion?
- if immediately: INTP is prompting you to elaborate. It's a sign of interest. I am positive that this is not an INTP-only technique though.
- if said on a later occasion, it's indeed typically INTP (as noted by other commenters). Then it's just thinking aloud, remembering a relevant fact about you from their mental model (as in 'im going to do this, but, oh thats right, she abcdefg...'). Either there's no meaning attached, or they're showing that they take in an interest in you.

 

[Concojones]

I don't normally spend a lot of time preparing my statements during a conversation, but I spend a lot of time reflecting on them (and other's) either during the conversation or afterwards on my own (more so the latter). Then sometimes I want to talk to the person again about it, so I prepare for the next conversation, so it starts prepared, become spontaneous, then I reflect again. I don't know how typical this is of extraverts.

What you're describing sounds like something introverts (like myself) would typically do (e.g. that reflection: Ti?). That said, if I recall correctly, you're only a moderate extravert (i.e. introverted tendencies), right? That could explain it.

I spend a stupid amount of time having imaginary 'practice' conversations with people about things I'd like to talk about; anyone else do this?

Practising: when I do that (exception rather than rule) it's from the desire to put my best foot forward.

EDIT: I also do this as a form of (day)dreaming. At high school, while studying in the evening at my desk, I'd imagine how I'd be a teacher and explain the same stuff in a beautifully simple way.

 

[chocolate]

Concojones: I'm talking about immediately after.

Yes I'm a bit confused about my level of extraversion, and in which ways I am extraverted. I think it might have something to do with living most of my childhood (up to mid-20s) as a pretty extreme introvert despite not being naturally introverted. I am thinking about this.

About practicing: I'm not sure why I do it. I try lots of different possibilities in my head; I try to think of the most intelligent and efficient way to say something. Sometimes I use them; sometimes I just throw them out the window and become spontaneous during the conversation, and other times (most of the times) I just don't have that conversation (due to shyness or thinking the other person couldn't possibly be interested in that topic). There are very few people I feel comfortable enough with to have substantial conversations.

 

[Red Mage]

I spend a stupid amount of time having imaginary 'practice' conversations with people about things I'd like to talk about; anyone else do this?

I do this quite a lot. Usually, when I do end up initiating that conversation it either goes awry or the other person simply isn't interested in the topic. It throws me off my game and the rest of the conversations I have usually involve myself saying, "Uh huh. Yeah. Totally,' over and over.

 

[QSR]

Hmm I repeat what people say quite a bit. I like to do it so that the other person knows that I fully understand them, and if I say something wrong then I want them to correct me. Basically I paraphrase things to try to further the conversation.

 

[dents]

It's probably curiosity.

Repeating the fact both acknowledges your statement and cements it in their head.

From there they move on to causes and implications (both in other areas and across time). They fit this new information into the mental framework they have of your personality. Some adjustment usually occurs.

It's like putting their shoes on to go for a walk. Repeating after you (aside from the social function it serves) helps trigger the chocky-analysis.

I second that. When I catch something that will alter my mental framework of that person, it usually triggers a specific feeling in my brain that says "this is important". Then I repeat it to replay that feeling again to make sure. It's usually mundane crap, like when someone mentions they were pissed off they got a lemon in their tea and I note that their lemon-hate explains some other fact about them. Anyways, because I am paying attention to what my brain is doing as the words come out of my mouth, it usually sounds like I am deep in though. Which I suppose I am.

 

[ArcusDog]

I agree with QSR about paraphrasing, but that is a learned response and an attempt on my part to achieve effective communication.

As to the original topic, if I repeat the same thing someone just said, as you described, it means...

About 60% of the time I am interested or curious and wish you to expound on the topic.

About 20% of the time I just don't know what to say and I've already exhausted the use of "uh huh, that's nice, that's good, oh really?, and/or cool."

About 10% of the time I'm not listening to or interested in the conversation, you are bothering me and I wish you would leave, or I am lost in my own thoughts and didn't hear anything you said up to that point.

And about 10% of the time it's some mix thereof.