INTP marrying an INTP?

[Auburn]

I'm 18 years of age, and was looking at type match ups - and was shocked at what I heard!

I've heard about the shadow partnership INTP - ESFJ, but I just can't bring myself to see how it would work. I visualize too great of a lack/need of empathy between the two - a hollowness inside from not being able to "relate" to each other.

I've also heard that an INTP-INTP relationship would not be very exciting because the INTP is attracted to complexities that seem to resist analysis (hence ESFJ), and another INTP would be too easy to figure out - hence unexciting.

Yet, I have an INFP friend who I think is very interesting and fun to be around - especially when she's in a logical (T) mood. Instead, I see S types as uninteresting and very simple minded.
I personally would feel unsatisfied with an S type who can't truly understand/relate to my N ideas - or I'd feel unsatisfied trying to share my ideas (T) to someone who is not very interested in such topics. I see an INTP-INTP relation working much better.

Besides, the Ne-Fe combination of the INTP's other functions makes for a fairly extraverted, lively, and fun life - which would keep the marriage from becoming too dull/impersonal. (or so I think)

(Are there any words of wisdom from an INTP-INTP marriage out there?)

EDIT: I'm fairly balanced between P/J and have a fair ammount of F as well. This, I believe, would be a very posiltive thing for two INTPs - especially if both partners have a decent balance right?

 

[Dissident]

I cant really say because I havent been on a relationship with an INTP, but for what I see here I think I would enjoy it a lot, atleast in the intellectual level, emotionally I think it could get messy with such underdeveloped Fs.
INTP-INTP is probably better for friendship.

 

[Ermine]

I find the INTP-ESFJ relationship puzzling too. However, here's a stab at explaining it. When I'm surrounded by myself (either other NTs or actually myself), my mind eventually takes over me. As opposed to losing my mind, my mind loses me.

With an ESFJ, if it weren't for a severe communication barrier, I could lose my mind for once and enjoy life. Maybe.

I definitely wouldn't want to marry an INTP. I drive myself crazy, so I don't want a near duplicate of my personality.

 

[Wisp]

SJ - Yes, I don't like them
SP - They, however, know how to experience life for the thrill of life. Very infectious. I enjoy they're company. They're more likely to instill what Fernando was describing in an ESFJ, the ESFJ, would NOT let life go, they're too structured, yet also not logical. Not fun for INTPs. xSxPs are cool, though.

 

[fullerene]

I don't think an ESFJ would go horribly by default, but about 99% of them definitely would. I read somewhere (I think typelogic) that the ESFJ is almost entirely externally defined--that when they "think," all they really do is "find reasons that justify their feelings," and they're adamant about defending what they believe, even if what they believe is defined externally. Since the culture sucks, and I think every INTP has at least a few major problems with it, that's gonna create friction. However, if an ESFJ exists that matches your core values, I think it would work out quite well. My only seemingly universal problem with them is that they seem to want to take care of you like a little child when you get emotional, because "that's how emotions should be treated." I think an ESFJ in the right environment (that is, you know, brought up to actually listen to people and respect them) would be quite a powerful force, though.

That said, you'll probably find an ENFP/ENFJ with a lot of the same attractive attributes who you can actually communicate with much more on your level. Although I think INFP/INFJs have a much richer inner life, and are more likely to respect your need for alone time... so they would be cool too I think. I'm not sure how an INTP-INTP relationship would work out... lol but if it did, I don't think it would happen until both were in like their 30s. I also think it might be a problem for the kids, because unless they were INTP or INTJ then they would probably grow up very worried because they wouldn't "see" love from their parents like they did elsewhere... haha and I pity the ESFJ young'un who grows up with two INTP parents . I don't even think an ESFJ could learn "how to fit in" if they grew up in that environment .

 

[Agent Intellect]

i think anyone not S would be necessary, and not J would be a definite plus. i think i could deal with feelers and extraverts better then sensors. and judgers, i suppose it depends on their other functions. my girlfriend is INFJ, and as much as i enjoy her company, she can sometimes leave me feeling quite puzzled about her actions, but if she was an SJ or especially an ESXJ i don't think we'd even be together.

 

[Jesin]

When I'm surrounded by myself (either other NTs or actually myself), my mind eventually takes over me. As opposed to losing my mind, my mind loses me.

What? Sorry, I couldn't parse that. Could you explain?

 

[Agent Intellect]

just on a side note, does anyone here know any ESFJ's?

my sister is ESFJ (i had her take the test). even though she is my sister, we both don't really know that much about each other. i sit in my room, door closed, headphones on reading or surfing the internet in my free time. she's barely ever home (me and her share the apartment). she's always out with friends, taking road trips, going to parties/movies. if she is home, she's either on the phone or talking to like 5 people at once on AIM.

she once told me that on days when she sits at home (which rarely happens) she feels bad, as if it was a wasted day. i pretty much deduced that the reason she wanted to move out so bad so that she didn't have to answer to our parents when she stays out all night (or has her boyfriend sleep over).

i found it funny one night a couple weeks ago when the two of us had dinner at my parents, she was offered some food she never ate before and said "no thanks, i don't feel like trying anything new tonight". i couldn't help but think how strange it must be to "not feel like" trying new food. what kind of reason is that to not try something? even "it looks gross" or "it smells disgusting" is fine, but just not feeling like it?

and, even though she's 3 years younger then me (she's 20) she's gone through over twice as many cars as i have. granted, she makes more money then i do, but her reason for getting a new one is, you guessed it, she "felt" like it. that doesn't bother me too much though, because my old car broke down (what do you expect, it cost 500 bucks) and i inherited her old car for free, so i'm not complaining.

 

[Auburn]

... emotionally I think it could get messy with such underdeveloped Fs.
INTP-INTP is probably better for friendship.

Very true!
Sometimes I think that two INTPs can be the best of friends, but never really romantic friends (couples) - because of both of their low F developments.

And yet...
I have learned somehow to release my Fe willingly when I see it necessary- so that I am able to sympathize with others, etc - IF [AND ONLY IF] my logic gives the right-of-way to do so. Therefore, I believe that if I saw a need for more "Feel" in the relationship, I could initiate it - and have in the past. Fe almost never comes out without my permission.

Now if both INTPs knew how to control their Fe and to express it when the time is right, and if they were both somewhat balanced in the P/J area [so that the house doesn't end up a disaster, etc.] - I think It'd be an extremely satisfying relationship. (But what are the odds of that?)

 

[Auburn]

...i inherited her old car for free, so i'm not complaining.

lol, I love benefiting from the stupidity of others

 

[Agent Intellect]

lol, I love benefiting from the stupidity of others

well, its a cheap ass dodge neon that needed new wheels. neither of us are incredibly wealthy, so i'm not talking about corvettes or anything here lol. but whatever gets me from point A to point B is fine by my standards.

 

[NoID10ts]

My wife is an ISFJ which I have been told is one of the most difficult types for an INTP to marry, but we get along very well. It probably helps that I have familiarity with ISFJ's because my mother is one, and my wife has experience with INTP's because her next youngest brother is one. We also have a cool cultural thing going on (I am white, she is hispanic) which adds some excitement to the relationship. Hearing her go off in Spanish is just sexy even if she is mad at me . The good thing about my wife is that she lets me be me even if she doesn't understand what is going through my head. I think personality types are a factor, but not the only factor in a marriage and any type can probably make it work with any other type.


-I saw a mention of ESFJ's so I will rant a bit here-

I am pretty sure my step dad is an ESFJ and HOLY SHIT!!! We might as well be in two seperate universes. Our thought processes are so radically different that we just drive each other crazy, even though we have a good relationship.

I don't think he has the capacity to think before he does anything. It's like he is a force of nature just doing whatever comes to mind on pure instinct! He demands immediate action with everything and he just can't deal with me taking the time to plan something out in my head first.

He has no filter between his mouth and his brain either! When I was diagnosed with depression he basically told the whole church choir that I had "mental problems" and was seeking help! I had one guy come up to me and hold my hand because he too had "mental problems" and wanted to pray for me! WHAT THE FUCK?

He is also very regimented. Birthdays require a gift, a card, and a if you recieve a gift from him there must be a subsequent thank you note or you will not be recieving a gift next time. I'm doing well just to remember the damn event!

Is this normal for ESFJ's?

-End Rant-

 

[Jesin]

Fe almost never comes out without my permission.

And when it does, it's usually bad? (Just a guess.)

An INTP-INTP romantic relationship could work, but then, so could anything. I guess what we're talking about here are relative probabilities.

But yes, INTP-INTP friendship works out great. Actually, almost all of my friends and almost-friends are INTP. (Woah, I spoke from experience! )

 

[Ermine]

What? Sorry, I couldn't parse that. Could you explain?

Sorry, it makes total sense to me, but I guess I'm going around in circles from an outside perspective. It's basically me vs. the part of me that rationalizes me out of everything that I need more of but don't have much motivation for (friends, socializing, etc.). My logical rationalizing side (my "mind") tends to take over me, and I'd actually prefer to lose my "mind" and have fun for once.

 

[Thread Killer]

The INTP/ESFJ thing is utter BS and pure speculation. While I find the more sensitive INTPs to be the hottest type, I can't see marrying one because neither of us would admit our feelings to each other to have a relationship in the first place. I wouldn't want to marry and ISFJ only because it's hard to share my world with them, but I get along with them very well otherwise.

 

[Agent Intellect]

i think a double INTP relationship would work out. it would be a very laid back relationship, i think. the little issues wouldn't be much of a problem and discussions could be interesting, passionate and heated without anyone getting their feelings hurt. i know if i get too passionate in a discussion about something like religion with my girlfriend (she's agnostic for the most part, but because of her parents strong christian beliefs doesn't much like my bad mouthing of christians lol) she'll have to stop the discussion to bring back the harmony.

 

[Auburn]

And when it does, it's usually bad? (Just a guess.)

Only in extreme cases has my Fe come out on it's own - and yes, it's a scene...

I almost see the dominant Ti as the parent and the Fe as the crazy little child. In the past the parent has lost grip on the Fe Child's hand, and I ended up acting like an ENFP or some other extroverted type on sugar!

I'd actually prefer to lose my "mind" and have fun for once.

YES! this is what happened!

 

[Decaf]

Unfortunately the factors that most correlate to intimate relationship success have nothing to do with what type you are. They have to do with maturity and interests. If you find an INTP who is big into conspiracy theories, and you're big into computer programming, it won't matter that you both have similar ways of approaching your very different interests.

Ideally speaking if you can find someone significantly different than you type-wise with a similar maturity level and similar interests, you're off to a great start.

 

[grey matters]

I have guessed that both my parents are INTP's, neither has taken the test but over the years (an by looking at their libraries) it seems likely. Growing up in a 2 INTP household was strange and quiet. Neither parent expressed their feelings well. The marriage ended in divorce after I think 12 years. It seems that although they were attracted by mutual intellectual interests like art and books their personality typing later made them repel. They hate each other. I think that if they were at least a little different perhaps one could round out the deficiencies in the other a bit. As it was, it was INTP times 2 for me.

My dad is married to an extrovert who must also be a J. She is a pain in the but but she is good at handling the checkbook and is his social coordinator. He likes this. I can't guess my stepfathers personality he is very closed and has psychological problems. Hey that sounds like an INTP! But no, really, Guessing his personality type would be jumping to conclusions.

 

[Auburn]

My wife is an ISFJ which I have been told is one of the most difficult types for an INTP to marry, but we get along very well. It probably helps that I have familiarity with ISFJ's because my mother is one, and my wife has experience with INTP's because her next youngest brother is one.

My mother is an ISFJ also. I get along with her just fine too, but she has never been the person to go to for advice/deeps talks/etc. Her S prevents her from noticing anything wrong with her children until it's out in broad daylight. However, when there's a different person to go to for that part, I guess an INTP - ISFJ relation would work just fine.

Still, I'd prefer it if it was my wife (hypothetically speaking) that I could go to for that- or is all this too much to ask? (I tend to be more of an idealist that other INTPs - please bring me down to earth if I'm in the clouds!)

Ideally speaking if you can find someone significantly different than you type-wise with a similar maturity level and similar interests, you're off to a great start.

hmmmm.... *rubbing his chin...*

 

[Kuu]

Marriage? Isn't that too constraining, specially for 2 INTPs? Maybe I'm just too jaded. Anyway I think it could work if both were relatively mature regarding their Fe, which would probably be the source of most conflict... otherwise, the immature one will always drag the relationship down.

 

[Devercia]

Ah...ESFJs... I am directly related to 3. I have 8 siblings, most of them half. I am the last of a Brady Bunch style family. The oldest is ESFJ, female and over 40. She could be described as The Uber-Christian. 4 children down the line is another sister, in her 30s. She could be described as The Teacher/Soccer Mom, though she is neither. She once wore a vest the same as one of my elementary teachers , with the ABCs and 123s on it, rulers and pencils included. The 3rd is My mother, mother of the younger, step-mother to the older. She is a good mix between the two. All three have led me to believe that ESFJs are social sponges that harden into rocks. If the rock was molded by INTPs I could see some possibilities, but none of my own examples were, and they all rub me at the very least, oddly. Capable of wisdom but a little dense intellectually. Sense love for an INTP starts with the head, I can't see much potential for romantic relationships.

I do think INTPs go well together. Two examples led me to this. I once had a math teacher that was INTP. We had such simular quirks in addition to being INTPs that we got along well and moved beyond acquaintanceship instantaneously; cracking jokes, making fun of each other and general witty banter. We had an undeclared "wordsmith war." I once called one of his baffling examples "arithmamancy" which was amusing to both of us and left the other students shifting their eyes at each other. Needless to say I am a lesbian stuck in a man's body and he was the same, so there wasn't anything happening there. However, had he been an attractive women I would have been lovestruck.

I find the rarity of INTPs and especially female INTPs depressing. The second example was a girl in my art class. I was physically attracted to her and she seemed an INTP, interesting. I didn't realize the missed opportunity, that I was actually romantically attracted to her till it was too late and the class was over.

So many things are against this pairing: the general lack of INTPs, the gender gap represented in INTPs, the INTPs lack of initiative, The lack of the INTPs social network. etc.

 

[Auburn]

I do think INTPs go well together. Two examples led me to this. I once had a math teacher that was INTP. We had such simular quirks in addition to being INTPs that we got along well and moved beyond acquaintanceship instantaneously... However, had he been an attractive women I would have been lovestruck. .

YES! This is exactly what I mean! I hypothesize that I'd probably quickly be lovestruck by a balanced INTP girl also - but...

I find the rarity of INTPs and especially female INTPs depressing.

Exactly! It's so rare to find other INTPs in real life, especially female - or so it seems.
Are there even any female INTPs in this forum who can give some imput?

(And to clarify - no, I'm not trying to pick up a girl on this forum. lol, I just honestly want to know what would be the best working relationship for an INTP, if any.)

 

[Decaf]

Forgive me for being crass, but this comic I think sums up how a lot of us feel...

 

[Jordan~]

If you think a female INTP is rare, try finding a gay male INTP. -_- There should statistically be about 74,000 in the whole of the UK, and 150 in my city, apparently. And in the whole world, 6,825,000. These are very rough estimates, by the way, based on the assumption that the occurence of the INTP personality type is the same everywhere as it is in America, that about 70% of INTPs are male and that about 5% of males are gay.

 

[grey matters]

Those are rather depressing statistics Jordan. Anyone have any Prozac?

 

[Jordan~]

Depressing for you? Cūr?

 

[Waterstiller]

Those are depressing stats, Jordan. Mine aren't looking to bright either. My ideal is a transguy or lesbian or trans-friendly-straight-guy INTP/ENFJ.


.. I do know a transguy who's a fucking creative genius. He's a master at 18 different instruments, music masters at 23, wonderful compositions, unbelievably talented artist(markers), annnnnd... he's now in a masters program for geophysics. I swoon when I see his work and hear him play, but I suspect he's ISTP and there's a verbal communication barrier. And he says he's a-sexual. He makes me not care about my grammar.

 

[Jordan~]

There's 150 in my city alone! At least, maybe. Probably between 100 and 200, anyway. I'd say I have a fairly good chance! And if I ever get to work at the British Museum, there should be around 4200 in London.

 

[Agent Intellect]

Those are depressing stats, Jordan. Mine aren't looking to bright either. My ideal is a transguy or lesbian or trans-friendly-straight-guy INTP/ENFJ.


.. I do know a transguy who's a fucking creative genius. He's a master at 18 different instruments, music masters at 23, wonderful compositions, unbelievably talented artist(markers), annnnnd... he's now in a masters program for geophysics. I swoon when I see his work and hear him play, but I suspect he's ISTP and there's a verbal communication barrier. And he says he's a-sexual. He makes me not care about my grammar.

you may have already answered this before (although i didn't see it) but you posted a graph about sexuality in another thread but i can't really pinpoint you on it. where, in the middle of those left-right arrows would you say that you fall into? and, i suppose, if there was a questionaire of some sort that didn't have an "other" or "ze" choice, which of the two (male or female) would you probably be more inclined to mark?

 

[Waterstiller]

There's 150 in my city alone! At least, maybe. Probably between 100 and 200, anyway. I'd say I have a fairly good chance! And if I ever get to work at the British Museum, there should be around 4200 in London.

But we're all indoors. Hiding. Learning. Ect. :P

Agent Intellect: Sexuality? As in orientation? I'm attracted more to people in the middle of the gender spectrum that lean towards masculine. I don't have a preference of my partner's sexual organs(Pansexual). I identify with the middle of the gender spectrum(Pangender, Genderqueer) but lean towards feminine. On forms, I answer that I'm "female" because it's the most accurate description of me.

I'm attracted to these types of people.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Needless to say I am a lesbian stuck in a man's body and he was the same, so there wasn't anything happening there. However, had he been an attractive women I would have been lovestruck.

That was interestingly put; you should make some "art" using a black & white camera and past that over the top in bold red letters.
That's revolutionary art, apparently.

Somebody just tapped me on the shoulder, anyway...

I don't think a marriage like relationship should be based upon how "entertaining" a person is. This has annoyed the hell out of every girlfriend I've ever had, because I don't define relationships by how often we do stuff together.

A "friend" (well associate anyway, but lets use "friend" for now), is somebody I invite to go to the movies with or something because I prefer their presence for the sake of entertainment. My reasons for inventing them are purely selfish, as are my reasons for maintaining such a relationship. If they're a close friend I'll confide in them to a limited degree and make further effort to maintain the relationship (that’s my idea of a "friend").

A partner however is a person who I confide in to a far greater degree and likewise I invest a far greater interest in them. I will listen to a friend's concerns, I'll comment and passively assist a close friend with their concerns and I treat a partner's concerns as my own. Despite this or perhaps because of it I don't see or treat a partner as a source of entertainment.
I don't need to feel uplifted or entertained to value a partner relationship; instead I value the person for who they are and my trust in them.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned

 

[Auburn]

I don't think a marriage like relationship should be based upon how "entertaining" a person is.

A "friend" (well associate anyway, but lets use "friend" for now), is somebody I invite to go to the movies with or something because I prefer their presence for the sake of entertainment. My reasons for inventing them are purely selfish, as are my reasons for maintaining such a relationship. If they're a close friend I'll confide in them to a limited degree and make further effort to maintain the relationship (that’s my idea of a "friend").

A partner however is a person who I confide in to a far greater degree and likewise I invest a far greater interest in them. I will listen to a friend's concerns, I'll comment and passively assist a close friend with their concerns and I treat a partner's concerns as my own. Despite this or perhaps because of it I don't see or treat a partner as a source of entertainment.
I don't need to feel uplifted or entertained to value a partner relationship; instead I value the person for who they are and my trust in them.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned

Interesting...

Even if that's "old fashioned" it's probably the right choice. I've always know there's something more profound that people don't ever venture into - instead they usually stay at surface (entertaining) level. The entire "dating" thing has never appealed to me - it's much too shallow. I've always had an ideal of how a "true" relatinonship sould be - which has always seemed like "very high expectations" even to the most conservative people I've ever met.

Using my analytical skills, I can usually see where there would be discord between two people beforehand. I can also somewhat predict what would be necessary for it to function correctly between the two.

(It actually frustrates me somewhat when I can see exactly why a relationship is not working but the two individuals will not sit down to litsen to the solution.)

I did the same for INTPs - critically analyzing to find out what would work ideally for them. After much thought - I concluded that the ideal for an INTP would be another INTP - BUT ONLY IF - both are mature/balanced in their (seeming) weaknesses (Feeling & Judging).

As Decaf said earliear, much of a relationship's compatibility has to do with maturity, not only personality type.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

To better summarize my post: True love has no expectations, just acceptance.

An INTP couple would probably be best able to understand this.

 

[Devercia]

You sound like you prefer what many people would call agape. While I described storge. Its certainly not as pure or devotional as what you describe, Cognisant, but I don't think such things are practical in my life. I know, I'm begging for some horrible Vince Von movie to happen to me, but...bleh, I'm not going anywhere with this.

From what I have observed in myself, I don't think I could base a relationship on selfless interests. I'm not say I am incapable from doing so from time to time, but I think If I established a relationship with someone on such connections, my parter would end up feeling dejected due to my inability to grant that requirement consistently.

I don't necessarily consider them entertainment. They are a mental and intellectual stimulant as I am to them. I can't stand stuped women because they deny both myself and themselves that satisfaction, meeting of minds, blowing of steam, contrast of viewpoint, and intrigue.

I do believe love is conditional. I've noticed that my main motivation for acts of altruism is guilt, mostly guilt that I am getting too much out of people.

That was interestingly put; you should make some "art" using a black & white camera and past that over the top in bold red letters.
That's revolutionary art, apparently.

I had an art teacher like this. She was good at it but she was only creating a new generation of art snobs. She should have stuck with her macabre painting of a dead bird with that very dead bird's feathers. It was interesting. What the students made was cliche.

I solemnly swear that I have always hated post color era black and white pictures. Its training wheels, formula and lollipops for those who haven't mastered color.

I find it amusing you picted out that quote. I did not ponder it to place it in my text, its just what flowed out. Needless to say its best read the manner it was written.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

That "art" reference has more to do with my belief that art should inspire thought and analytical thinking in a viewer. Your paragraph said something very simple in a complex way, leaving it open for interpretation and analysis. Combine that with homophonic tendencies of the general population and you have a thought provoking paragraph that tricks the reader into considering their position on the subject. In a word, art.

Back to the love issue, I didn't mean to seem "devotional", it's just that I've seen many relationships fail because the participants hold false preconceptions of each other. I can care about anybody, but to "love" somebody I need to know them first, otherwise it's just lust or delusion. In my opinion the basis of a healthy relationship is understanding; since understanding is also the bane of conflict.

Mind you a healthy degree of lust is never a bad thing.

Edit: "True" love has too many connotations; I'm referring to "Truth" love

 

[Auburn]

True love....

My INFP friend is the most selfless person I've ever met. She has a strong poetic love that never goes away once she loves someone - regardless of what that person does. I am incapable of having that type of love.

Yet, I explained to her my view of an ideal relationship, and it startled her to find someone with higher expectations than herself for a companion.

After some long conversations, we came to agree that "true love" per say, is an attraction which both appeals to ones "Thinking Judgment", and "Feeling Judgment".
Untrue love (lust), we concluded was "Feeling Judment" not in accordance with one's own "Thinking Judment" - For example:

Feeling attracted to someone who you know isn't right for you, but continuing something you know will end in tragedy for not wanting to abandon your affection.

I've seen many relationships fail because the participants hold false preconceptions of each other. I can care about anybody, but to "love" somebody I need to know them first, otherwise it's just lust or delusion.

This INFP friend of mine saw that although her love (F) was enormous, she had often made ridiculous decisions in the past by not being realistic about relationships. She later consented that it's wisest to let a relationship appeal to her Thinking Judment first, then Feel free to express all the love she has!

Letting the Thinking Judment agree first would mean to have a process of investigation (dating - in the old fashion sense) with that person, to find out if that person is right for you.

However, I am much too quick at finding the discord that I would have with others - and hence it rarely has to come to "dating" before I see that it wouldn't work. This is why I'm very curious as to find what would work, if anything!

EDIT: Perhaps an INTP is just not the best type for marriage in the first place.

 

[Decaf]

Perhaps an INTP is not the best type to marry in the first place.

I think there's a kernel of truth there. We are an independent breed, and the idea of marriage was obviously not invented by one of us. I think we can be wonderful partners of a sort, but I think it is difficult for us to be everything to another person. Maybe for us to function in this ill-fitting tradition we need to find someone who is also fairly independent.

That being said, again, anyone who is mature can have a fulfilling relationship with anyone else who is mature (yes I know its a fuzzy usage of the word, but I really don't know how to describe it with any more precision than that).

 

[Auburn]

We are an independent breed, and the idea of marriage was obviously not invented by one of us. I think we can be wonderful partners of a sort, but I think it is difficult for us to be everything to another person. Maybe for us to function in this ill-fitting tradition we need to find someone who is also fairly independent.

...how depressing...

but I agree​

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Independence doesn’t necessarily mean detached, anyway being independent INTPs ourselves having an independent relationship wouldn't be much of a problem. However I agree that INTPs on different developmental levels may have difficulty bringing their independency into sync.

I could imagine an INTP-INTP relationship could be very successful so long as the partners forgo the 'default' marriage ideals in favour of an intellectually stimulating relationship. EF types can find bio-chemical satisfaction from the mere presence of their partner; INTPs however require intellectual 'gifts' to 'bridge the gap' between proverbial hearts. But after an extended period of time I like to think that an INTP relationship could achieve a silent synergy.
e.g. "We love each other and we know it, even though it has never been said"

Or the INTPs could develop their EF functions to the point of having a 'normal' relationship.

@-Auburn
Cheer up mate, it's not all bad

 

[Agent Intellect]

But we're all indoors. Hiding. Learning. Ect. :P

Agent Intellect: Sexuality? As in orientation? I'm attracted more to people in the middle of the gender spectrum that lean towards masculine. I don't have a preference of my partner's sexual organs(Pansexual). I identify with the middle of the gender spectrum(Pangender, Genderqueer) but lean towards feminine. On forms, I answer that I'm "female" because it's the most accurate description of me.

I'm attracted to these types of people.

interesting. and i've never heard of genderfuck before lol

 

[grey matters]

For an INTP-INTP relationship to work I also recommend a maid and an accountant, and perhaps a part time nanny.

 

[severus]

For an INTP-INTP relationship to work I also recommend a maid and an accountant, and perhaps a part time nanny.

Sadly true. I think I would enjoy a relationship with another INTP, but I guess you can never really know until you've had one.

 

[Auburn]

Sadly true. I think I would enjoy a relationship with another INTP, but I guess you can never really know until you've had one.

*sighs*

I guess I'm back where I started...
I was really hoping an INTP-INTP marriage existed in this forum, that way I could hear what it's like from people who know first-hand, but...

I might just have to find out for myself when I meet another INTP in person...

 

[Calamedes]

I'm pretty sure that there is an INTP-INTP marriage around here. I just can't remember who...

I know an INTP, however neither of us are attracted to each other (we're both straight dudes :P). On the upside, our friendship has lasted for over 8 years now (we're 19/20) and we rarely actually talk to each other. It's a very interesting relation, actually. There's a thread about frienships around here somewhere.

 

[Kuu]

For an INTP-INTP relationship to work I also recommend a maid and an accountant, and perhaps a part time nanny.

Wrong. A relationship would work without them. Financing and maintaining a household is a different matter.

 

[loveofreason]

Domesticity is the killer. If it weren't for domestic arrangements I think I could be happy in a relationship...

yep. Definitely. The key to happiness is to not live together.

 

[Auburn]

Domesticity is the killer. If it weren't for domestic arrangements I think I could be happy in a relationship...

yep. Definitely. The key to happiness is to not live together.

Interesting...

I was once asked what would be my ideal future with a partner. Then as I thought about it, I was amazed to find myself imagining something along the lines of two traveling lovers. We wouldn't have a specific home, we would simply go from country to country, living in humble homes/shacks - I don't mind. We'd stay long enough to learn their language, working perhaps as missionaries, and then go on another mission elsewhere. Then by the time we would be winding down, we'd already know tons of languages!, have gone all around the globe!, seen every place we wanted to see! - and pick the best place to settle down from our long list of choices...

...one can dream right?...
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[grey matters]

My parents were both INTP's, they are now divorced.

I read recently a joke about a INTP and an INTP relationship it said something like "An INTP and an INTJ would make a great pairing for both would not realize that they were in a relationship"

 

[Auburn]

I don't mean to resurrect the dead, but I came across something that I found interesting. This is a table based on a study made to see how attracted married couples of different types were to each other:

Of course, there's excptions to everything, and a marriage's happiness is never completely due to personality types - but I guess from surveying many people of the same type, they found these results.

On here it shows that INTP men have the third highest ratio for men being attracted to a woman of the same type...

I found that interesting...
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