INTP ESFJ similarities? o__O

[xbox]

So today I was compared to my dad, how similar we are, but that I was an extremely laid back version, and that he was an extremely emotional version.

I guess it makes sense because he's an ESFJ and I'm an INTP and we share some of the same functions? When we clash, it happens pretty badly. (Sometimes when he vents about me to my mother, my mom is like "BUT YOU BOTH ARE SO SIMILAR") :/

On "better days" it's like he's venting, and I solve the problems and vice versa. We also share a love of adventures, but I improvise, while he plans. He hates that I don't have a plan for things.

I like to observe my dad no matter what his "mood" is or whatever (and I think he likes to observe me because we are so different, but similar too apparently).

I think an INTP version of moody is how long we stay hibernating in our dungeons vs Ne. He hates the former, but loves the latter since he's a 'people-person' and finds it somewhat entertaining when I just say whatever's on my mind. Sometimes my Ne gets me into trouble though.

Anyways, I realize my above post may or may not make sense to people. So feel free to disregard. I'm probably going to come back and read this and be like 'wtf'

 

[downsowf]

My dad's an ESFJ and I don't think we are similar one bit. I guess I can say there are many things that both interest us (love of history, adventure, sports, etc), but I wouldn't say this makes us share any of the same personality qualities.

 

[Roboman]

It's our shadow personality type. If your values gets breached and/or your suppressed emotions bottle over you'll go ESFJ-mode. Perhaps that is a connection.

I have the same situation with my little sister, kind of.
She's ESFJ and I am INTP, we get along very well, always had a good relationship. People in our immediate circles think we're so a like, but obviously, we're not.

 

[NO_ARM_NINJA]

My dad is an ESFJ as well
I find that we have so little in common
we argue a lot, usually over our differences. He gets emotional about things, always asking things like "What are you gonna do when you grow up and I'm not here to help? Youve gotta plan ahead!" often referring to my lack of emotion in certain situations, or referring to my unconventional organizational schemes. He gets angry when i just sit in my room and read a book or just sit and think, often saying that im a recluse and demanding i come downstairs and socialize with him (which is generally just me sitting on the couch and not saying anything).
In arguments he tends to get very angry when he keeps trying to teach me a lesson and i sit and quietly process what hes telling me, and then offer critique (which is usually met with further anger that "i dont care what hes saying")
I really don't think i'm anything like my dad, except in some rare situations when I find myself deeply angered and often imitate him, with some exaggeration, such as standing up and flexing my arms and neck and screaming something like "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!? IM BIG AND YOURE SMALL!"
needless to say, its a rather strained relationship

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

ExFJ dad:
Don't really get along but we have been compared to each other quite a bit.... looking a lot like him doesn't help with the frequency of comparison.

 

[SkyWalker]

I notice that many of you are a shadow of your parent. ESFJ is shadow of INTP.

I have the same: I am ENTP and my mother is also my shadow (ISFJ).

I was primarily raised by my mother (dad was absent mostly), and I am the first-born. Would I have become ENTP because it's my mother's blind side? Would I have chosen to see the other side to complement my mother to complete all sides of the family collective ?

Are you guys raised primarily by your ESFJ father maybe? Maybe thats why you became opposite/shadow of him? What do you guys think of that?

 

[downsowf]

Was raised by both parents. My mother's ISFJ too. Like I said before, my father and I agree on many things and share many interests. The way I approach certain situations, and how I come to a conclusion, is completely antithetical to him though, even if we might end up with the same conclusion. I think I've learned to mimic a lot of his behavior in social situations.

You have an interesting point though. I was the youngest and was mainly overshadowed by both of my siblings, quite happily. I loved being the bystander, being the observer, and not having all the attention. My ESFJ father was quite overbearing, though affable and generous, so perhaps I just could not compete with his personality. Do you think being the youngest has any relevance to personality?

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Are you guys raised primarily by your ESFJ father maybe? Maybe thats why you became opposite/shadow of him? What do you guys think of that?

Well, my dad actually hasn't done as much of this 'raising' as my mom but he's still a large part of my life. Not so much recently but back when it 'mattered' he would usually work late and stuff so I wasn't around him all that much. My mom I find much easier to get along with (although we still have problems) and I'd say she's probably a really laid back xNFJ.

I'm the younger of two, if that makes a difference.

I definitely think that my Pness and, to some extent, my T developed kind of as a reaction to my parents overbearing Fe. My brother (older) seems a little more similar to them and I'd guess he's an ENxP.

 

[Jelly Rev]

Data: ESFJ mother, INTJ Father. hope that helps the theory.
sister INXJ, brother ENTP.