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INTP+ENFJ possibility.

Cheeseumpuffs

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#1
Yes, I know any type can have a relationship with any other type. But I'm kind of interested how an INTP and an ENFJ would work. What would the dynamics of such a relationship be? Based purely off of personality types, would it work good, ok, not so good? Just interested.
 

CLOfriendOSE

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#2
I would imagine that it would be more tolerable than being with an ESFJ, but I have little experience in the matter. I don't know if I know any ENFJs to really compare to. I'd imagine that the ENFJ would enjoy taking care of the INTP and be adaptable enough to at least pretend to understand our rambling.

I think it may be hard for the INTP to understand the ENFJs need for groups/teamwork/social interaction and may cause disconnects when other people's feelings stress the ENFJ out and the INTP feels nothing.
 

Cheeseumpuffs

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#3
I would imagine that it would be more tolerable than being with an ESFJ, but I have little experience in the matter. I don't know if I know any ENFJs to really compare to. I'd imagine that the ENFJ would enjoy taking care of the INTP and be adaptable enough to at least pretend to understand our rambling.

I think it may be hard for the INTP to understand the ENFJs need for groups/teamwork/social interaction and may cause disconnects when other people's feelings stress the ENFJ out and the INTP feels nothing.
Yeah, I've observed this much as well. I know two female ENFJs and they both seem to be able to tolerate me and when I ramble and present my ideas they at least are respectful if not supportive. But there is that little downside you kind of mentioned. They are always planning some group get together or something along those lines. They are always very dependent on group activities and such which doesn't add up for me. So yeah, emotional support would be an issue.
 
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#4
NO!




The INTP and ENFJ are by far one of the worst potential relationships that either of these personalities can have with one another. All you need to do is look at the functions to see that this relationship is doomed to fail miserably.

Any personality that has your inferior function as their dominant function should be avoided at all costs.


For the ENFJ their top function is Fe and their weakest and most sensitive function is Ti, for an ENFJ to get involved with an INTP (who happens to have Ti as the dominant function), the INTP will constantly be tugging away at the inferior function (which is Ti) for the ENFJ. The same problem goes for the INTP.

It doesn't matter how well developed either of these types are, our natural personality configurations aren't designed to constantly have the inferior being tugged at. This causes many problems such as over-modulation and a general feeling of low energy.

I think Adymus said it best when answering a very similar question to yours.

Trying to get two personalities such as the the INTP and ENFJ to 'work' is possible, but it's like trying to force two magnets of the same poles together. Sure its possible, but it requires a lot of effort because it isn't natural, and both poles are naturally repellent to one another.
 

GYX_Kid

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#5
Any personality that has your inferior function as their dominant function should be avoided at all costs.</b></u>

For the ENFJ their top function is Fe and their weakest and most sensitive function is Ti, for an ENFJ to get involved with an INTP (who happens to have Ti as the dominant function), the INTP will constantly be tugging away at the inferior function (which is Ti) for the ENFJ. The same problem goes for the INTP.

Trying to get two personalities such as the the INTP and ENFJ to 'work' is possible, but it's like trying to force two magnets of the same poles together. Sure its possible, but it requires a lot of effort because it isn't natural, and both poles are naturally repellent to one another.
Explain why this isn't trying to force two magnets of opposite poles together?

I dunno, I came across a very ENFJ-seeming girl this past year. I just acted all cool like I was the fucking man who was laid back and didn't give a shit. Occasionally made some unique joke or something, that appealed to her. Basically things could have (and on some level did) escalate very quickly, but I wasn't in it for a real relationship. Once I honestly presented a real insecurity to her like I wanted some friendly advice, she didn't seem to get it, then it seemed like her view of me crumbled and she felt betrayed.

I think that under the right circumstance it can work very easily, but if you want anything beyond a fun and shallow comfort/ego-boost, it probably won't work. We had a few similar interests, not many, yet that really wasn't necessary for the easily-rigged pushing of buttons. (I was like, hey, a girl's emotional button *curious push*, and she did the literal pushing to try to make a relationship)

Of course that was only my experience.
 
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#6
Explain why this isn't trying to force two magnets of opposite poles together?
Your question seems a bit double negative to me, but I'll answer anyways.

Naturally the INTP and ENFJ have very opposite types of interests in general, and even if both types are interested in the same thing it's usually perceived in a completely different way compared to the other. A personality pairing like the ENTJ and INTP both approach the same situation with the same mindset of logic-based followed by intuitive interpretation second. They're motives may be different from one another but they're able to coexist and work together in a way which works out for both parties.

I think that under the right circumstance it can work very easily,
Really? Rarely if ever will you find a relationship between an INTP and ENFJ to work out "very easily."

Like I said before, if by some freak accident an INTP and ENFJ were to get along (which is not possible since they both cause each other to modulate to their lowest priority function) the pairing will only work out for a short while. The more time they spend with one another the more the relationship between the both of them will steadily start to deteriorate. If they end up having to get married and spend even MORE time together, both types will begin to try and avoid time spent with one another and a deep seated anger will start to develop among both types.
 

GYX_Kid

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#7
The more time they spend with one another the more the relationship between the both of them will steadily start to deteriorate.
Right, I mean sexual chemistry worked out easily and for a short while, not as much of something "real" (up for debate about what 100% real entails anyway).

It was kind of sociopathic experiment on my part. Legitimate regarding testing the waters, not nearly as evil as it could have been.
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#8
It doesn't work as a pairing really. They both have auxiliary intuition which means a nice connection in that regard, but the dominants are unsatisfied.

Tip|Nej = Nip|Fej => incomplete cycle

You could try a group of four, with an ESTJ and ISFP. That gives a linking like this:

Tej|Sip = Sej|Fip = Fej|Nip = Nej|Tip = Tej|Sip => complete cycle yay

ENTJ and INFP would work too, but it would polarise the NTs and NFs. ISTP and ESFJ could work too, or ISTP and ISFP, or whatever.
 

Cheeseumpuffs

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#9
Ok so yeah, The problem is with the ENFJ's dominant Fe/inferior Ti and vice verse for the INTP. Well, what if the extraverted/introverted aspects of each function were switched. Say an INTP (Ti/Fe) with a INFP (Fi/Te)? Does better compatibility depend on the functions themselves or the e/i part?
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#10
Ok so yeah, The problem is with the ENFJ's dominant Fe/inferior Ti and vice verse for the INTP. Well, what if the extraverted/introverted aspects of each function were switched. Say an INTP (Ti/Fe) with a INFP (Fi/Te)? Does better compatibility depend on the functions themselves or the e/i part?
imo, there would be less repulsion between the Fi and Ti than if it were Fe, but there won't be as strong bonding between the N.
 

Words

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#11
I have experienced friendship with 3 alleged ENFJ's.

The most obvious ENFJ's was the one I had trouble with. Our values, and I would even go further to call it "natural values", clashed too much. Both of us believe that the other does not see the point. He was sharing baseless but "feel good" ideas, and I was always pointing out the flaws that I saw in his logic.

Next is a female who I'm not entirely sure is an ENFJ. We never really dugged deeper into the topics but I found no conflict with her. An ok friend.

This last one I am also not sure. He is an ENFJ but he seems to be interested more into "NT" things rather than "NF" things. By that, I mean he likes topics such as metaphysics and philosophy. He also focuses a bit more on the logic of his arguments. Intuition is priority for him though. (Maybe INFJ but he displays too much extroversion.) He is a good friend.

Overall, my point is that I don't know.
 
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#12
Ok so yeah, The problem is with the ENFJ's dominant Fe/inferior Ti and vice verse for the INTP. Well, what if the extraverted/introverted aspects of each function were switched. Say an INTP (Ti/Fe) with a INFP (Fi/Te)? Does better compatibility depend on the functions themselves or the e/i part?
Well, for a relationship such as the INTP + ISFP a different sort of dynamic presents itself as a problem between said types. The Fi of the ISFP 'calls out' to the Fe function of the INTP inclining the INTP to use their inferior. This is different compared to the ENFJ + INTP because the Fe of the ENFJ is directly hitting on the Fe of the INTP and forcing the INTP to engage in their Fe without really a choice. So if an INTP were to not use their Fe the ENFJ would feel like they aren't being attended to in the most basic and straightforward way that an ENFJ communicates. For the ISFP, if the INTP were to not use their Fe, the ISFP wouldn't necessarily feel as though they aren't being listened to, but they would feel somethings off or somethings 'incomplete.' The reason is because every type is always projecting their unconscious other onto whoever it is that they are engaged with, and they're always looking for approval from these inspiring functions. A relationship between an ISFP and INTP is more hopeful, but also isn't exactly ideal.

Compatibility in terms of just functions is mainly due to some certain variables being met. First of all, the dominant functions of one type can't be the inferior function of the other type. So a relationship like the INTP + INFJ can work out, because the INFJ isn't going to be using their Fe as the master function, instead it will act out a more helping role to the primary function.

E/I is important because the inspirational other is always going to have your top two functions in terms of language being the same, but different in terms of subjectivity and objectivity. For example: Ni and Ne are incredible together, they work out very effectively and help to inspire each other.

A personality that shares the same top two functions as your type is a favorable combination but it doesnt'' serve to really inspire. Since they both approach life in the same way they won't really serve to let the other type in on something interesting. Typically same type relationships are better to help mentor the other person in a certain field of expertise.
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#13
Logic said:
OK Artsu I don't see where you're going with this because I had already stated above that any pairing that involves two types with a dominant function being the inferior of the other type is doomed to fail.

So this involves pairings such as the ENTJ + INFP, ESTJ + ISFP, ISTP + ESFJ. None of these pairings are any different compared to the INTP + ENFJ. They are all bad choices to make for a relationship. The auxiliary function may share the same language channel but that makes little difference. You even mentioned that yourself so I don't really understand how you came to those pairings as being able to 'work.'
Why did you cut the middle of the post out? I said that the second pair I mentioned were being added to the first pair, and so too were those. I said that the pairs don't work, so I was discussing groups of four.
 
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#14
It doesn't work as a pairing really. They both have auxiliary intuition which means a nice connection in that regard, but the dominants are unsatisfied.

Tip|Nej = Nip|Fej => incomplete cycle

You could try a group of four, with an ESTJ and ISFP. That gives a linking like this:

Tej|Sip = Sej|Fip = Fej|Nip = Nej|Tip = Tej|Sip => complete cycle yay

ENTJ and INFP would work too, but it would polarise the NTs and NFs. ISTP and ESFJ could work too, or ISTP and ISFP, or whatever.
I said that the second pair I mentioned were being added to the first pair, and so too were those. I said that the pairs don't work, so I was discussing groups of four.
So by the first pair you're talking about the INTP + ENFJ and the second pair is the ESTJ + ISFP? I understand that these pairings are one of the worst in terms of a relationship.

In your complete cycle you mention the ESTJ ESFP ENFJ ENTP ESTJ, These pairings (if I'm following) of ESTJ + ESFP, ESFP + ENFJ etc, are better. Is this what you were trying to say?
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#15
So by the first pair you're talking about the INTP + ENFJ and the second pair is the ESTJ + ISFP? I understand that these pairings are one of the worst in terms of a relationship.

In your complete cycle you mention the ESTJ ESFP ENFJ ENTP ESTJ, These pairings (if I'm following) of ESTJ + ESFP, ESFP + ENFJ etc, are better. Is this what you were trying to say?
I didn't have ESFP or ENTP, I had what I said I had. o_O

nvm...
 
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#16
Sej|Fip = ESFP?
Nej|Tip = ENTP?

It looks like you've come up with yet another system. This time you're including j and p in the mix.

Something like Nej makes very little sense to me because if j stands for Discernment than you're wrong or maybe j stands for Directive, in which case you're also wrong.

Knowing you, you probably already know about that, so the letter j that you've put there must mean something entirely different.
 

Animekitty

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#17
Like I said before, if by some freak accident an INTP and ENFJ were to get along (which is not possible since they both cause each other to modulate to their lowest priority function) the pairing will only work out for a short while.
could you expand on this, thanks
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#18
Sej|Fip = ESFP?
Nej|Tip = ENTP?

It looks like you've come up with yet another system. This time you're including j and p in the mix.

Something like Nej makes very little sense to me because if j stands for Discernment than you're wrong or maybe j stands for Directive, in which case you're also wrong.

Knowing you, you probably already know about that, so the letter j that you've put there must mean something entirely different.
Yeah maybe.

By the way, if you use Pod'lair, why are you discussing the MBTI types? Are you making claims that apply to the mojos, but not these types, or that apply to these types but not mojos, or does this stuff apply to both, or what? :confused:
 

Puffy

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#19
Another Nai'xyy, eh? Surprise, surprise. That's what they read me (and seem to read everyone). How does it feel to be a part of the pod'lair master-race? :P

Rhetorical as I'm aware this is a derail of course.

^ Ditto Artsu's question though.
 

scorpiomover

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#20
As I've said before, a type depends on what you want in common, and what you want to balance yourself with. If you are an INTP, and your partner is an ENFJ, that can work, if you want to be with someone who is a creative intuitive, but you feel that your Introversion needs to be balanced with an Extrovert to get you out more and to be more social, and you feel that you need to develop more confidence in your decisions by being with a J, and you feel that you need to develop your emotions and empathy more by being with a Feeler. If you aren't bothered either way about some of these, then it can also work.

But if you feel that you need to develop your Sensing side more, or you feel that being with a Feeler is going to drive you up the wall, or you are happy staying in and never seeing anyone else, or you really don't see why you should have to make any decisions at all, then an ENFJ will drive you batty.

You need to think about what MBTI things you want to change, what MBTI things you want to avoid, and what ones you are OK with either way. That will answer whether an ENFJ works for you.

FYI, she has to be equally minded. If she is adamant that she only wants to deal with certainties, or she wants to go out ALL the time, or she doesn't like thinking about things that make her uncomfortable, or even that she is willing to compromise, but really deep down doesn't want that, then she will find the relationship hard going as well.

So go over her type choices with her as well, which ones she has to have, which ones she would rather have the opposite as, and which she really is happy to have either. That will tell you whether she is happy with you.

Of course, if all that is true, and it still doesn't work, let me know, and why. I'd love to see how my idea stands up to empirical evidence.
 
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#21
@AK47

All you need to do is look at the simple fact that both personalities have the major modulation function as their inferior. Theoretically it makes sense that both types won't be compatible because each has to modulate in order to be around the another. A Fe dom always has their Fe on and their going to run everything thats done or not done by anyone else through that. A Ti dom naturally has Fe as their least order priority so naturally they don't want to use that function very often. If both types have to try and force a relationship with one another then they won't be doing themselves or each other much of a favor. They especially won't be doing much of a service to mankind as a whole.

This theoretical understanding is based off of reality, so this isn't just some virtual simulation on a computer program or something, this is real stuff I'm talking to you about. When I say an INTP and ENFJ isn't going to work out, you can be sure that I'm talking about something that's based on real evidence.

@Artsu

I'm using what I know to be the facts based on Pod'Lair and catering the language for the people here on the INTPF, who happen to be more used to the MBTI lexicon. You see with a flawed system such as MBTI there are so many gaping holes in so many different areas, that for someone like myself I have to pick and choose which problems I want to focus on the most and which problems should be avoided an attack until a bit later. I've literally had to come up with an attack plan. The lexicon isn't getting in the way too much but the foundational understanding that MBTI has is off and is also the most important area to be given focus. Most people here believe that MBTI is basing their understanding off of an actual phenomenon, so I'm here to correct that. There are also plenty of other people here who are trying to come up with their own understanding about 'The Personality Phenomenon' but they too have no idea how to go about navigating through it all and are also making very drastic mistakes. MBTI, the other systems, and anyone whose coming up with their own flawed understanding needs to be put in their proper place because they're getting way too cocky by believing they have the answers.

I'm here to promote Pod'Lair and help further the understanding of everybody here. When Adymus was more active he inspired me to join Pod'Lair, and ever since then my life has only gotten more full. I want to be able to inspire someone else the same way he did me. I think that's a very honorable motive to have. Plus, the INTPF is actually an awesome breeding ground for fresh boarders. Most people that join having come from this forum end up taking Pod'Lair very seriously. I'm such an example.

@Puffy

There are more Nai'xyy's on this INTPF then any other mojo. Most people that have come from here have ended up being a read as a Nai'xyy. The Nai'xyy are also one of the most open-minded mojo's, along with the other Interpretive doms.

I'm going to answer that question.

It feels awesome.

@SM

Most people don't even know their own mojo and as a result they have themselves believe they're one which they aren't. So because they don't know themselves and they don't know anyone else either, they can say stuff like "O I'm an INTP and my girl/boy-friend here is an ENFJ, normally it's not supposed to work out, but we sure as heck pulled it off!" Most likely, this couple has incorrectly typed themselves. My Zai really doesn't like this sort of nonsense, Adymus would hate it even more so.
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#22
@Artsu

So why am I still kicking it in the INTPF? It's so that I can promote Pod'Lair and help further the understanding of everybody here. When Adymus was more active he inspired me to join Pod'Lair, and ever since then my life has only gotten more full. I want to be able to inspire someone else the same way he did me. I think that's a very honorable motive to have. Plus, the INTPF is actually an awesome breeding ground for fresh boarders. Most people that join having come from this forum end up taking Pod'Lair very seriously. I'm such an example.
You didn't answer my question.
 

scorpiomover

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#23
Most people don't even know their own mojo and as a result they have themselves believe they're one which they aren't. So because they don't know themselves and they don't know anyone else either, they can say stuff like "O I'm an INTP and my girl/boy-friend here is an ENFJ, normally it's not supposed to work out, but we sure as heck pulled it off!" Most likely, this couple has incorrectly typed themselves. My Zai really doesn't like this sort of nonsense, Adymus would hate it even more so.
I appreciate that MBTI really helps give a better understanding of people. Some people, particularly INTJs can decide "MBTI works!" and then try to shoehorn everyone else into that, "Oh, he SAYS he's an INTP and he's dating an ENFJ, but that can't be, because that wouldn't make sense with my theory, so he CAN'T be an INTP. He must have got it wrong!"

INTPs occasionally act like INTJs on some things as well.

It's a fallacy of the NT type.

MBTI isn't supposed to be some all-encompassing, perfect system. It's not like blood groups. You cannot change your blood group, unless you have all your blood marrow swapped out. MBTI just records cognitive preferences. They do change over time, because some people rate as 80% T and 20% F, and then change to 60% T and 40% F. So it's not so fixed as many INTPJs, and some INTPs, would like to believe.
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#24
I appreciate that MBTI really helps give a better understanding of people. Some people, particularly INTJs can decide "MBTI works!" and then try to shoehorn everyone else into that, "Oh, he SAYS he's an INTP and he's dating an ENFJ, but that can't be, because that wouldn't make sense with my theory, so he CAN'T be an INTP. He must have got it wrong!"

INTPs occasionally act like INTJs on some things as well.

It's a fallacy of the NT type.

MBTI isn't supposed to be some all-encompassing, perfect system. It's not like blood groups. You cannot change your blood group, unless you have all your blood marrow swapped out. MBTI just records cognitive preferences. They do change over time, because some people rate as 80% T and 20% F, and then change to 60% T and 40% F. So it's not so fixed as many INTPJs, and some INTPs, would like to believe.
Type may or may not be totally predetermined, and may or may not be totally discrete (i.e. it could exist on a 4D spectrum) but it is basically fixed nonetheless, and you can observe it in terms of how one's mind operates (apparently Pod'lair were the first to think to do this, or at least the first to do it successfully).
 
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#25
@Artsu & SM

Here I'm thinking I should highlight the key differences in what a Personality Type is and what a Mojo is. I'm sharing this just to help give some perspective on the subject matter so excuse me if this doesn't follow the conversation exactly.

Personality Type: This is a factor of many different variables such as your Innate Mojo, nurture, environment, life circumstances, racial identity, sex, gender, sexual orientation, etc. As you can see your personality is a factor of many different elements, most of which are rapidly changing from one moment to the next and so are very difficult to recreate exactly. A personality is very hard to grasp entirely.

Mojo: Your Mojo is your innate cognitive configuration, that defines in which way is the most suitable way for you to learn, grow and experience reality.. This is something that has always been a part of you and your entire being. You can think of it as something like your genetics and predisposition. You have always been your mojo, you're still your mojo now, and you'll always stay your mojo in the future.

The simple reason why Pod'lair dropped the term 'personality type' is because the term was no longer accurately expressing what it is that Pod'lair is observing, so they came up with Mojo to fill in that gap.

A lot of terminology that Pod'lair is using may sound as though it's talking about the exact same thing as MBTI, but make no mistake. Pod'lair has a completely different meaning that comes with the different wording. So a Nai'xyy for example is not an updated understanding of an INFJ, It's a completely different thing altogether. The INFJ is merely an archetype or a description that people adopt into. It's like putting on a different set of clothes. When trying to be an INFJ you have to limit yourself into its parameters in order to express yourself as that personality. Your Mojo on the other hand, is something that no matter how hard you try, you can never stop being because it's a part of your 'being' on the most fundamental level possible.
 

Artsu Tharaz

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#26
Personality Type: This is a factor of many different variables such as your Innate Mojo, nurture, environment, life circumstances, racial identity, sex, gender, sexual orientation, etc. As you can see your personality is a factor of many different elements, most of which are rapidly changing from one moment to the next and so are very difficult to recreate exactly. A personality is very hard to grasp entirely.
See, this part is actually useful. However you'll have to elaborate your argument to show that it is in fact the case.

It seems to be the case that Mojo theory still comes under personality psychology, and that the nature of the theory is still such that it is a type theory as opposed to a traits theory. Your argument above seems like a strawman of what Typing is, and assumes as a premise that it isn't looking at something innate. It's an excellent point to make except that it's hardly specific to what Pod'lair does, it's just saying "if you're going to Type, you should do it properly".

Again, I think the whole thing of reading people is really cool (and I'm surprised no one has done it before), and great insight has come along with it, but there's no need to totally cut the theory off from everything that has come before - which isn't of course to say that you shouldn't approach the theory with a fresh perspective, because of course you should do that with anything.

And to clarify: when you talk about INTPs and make claims with regards to them or any other type, am I correct in assuming that you're not actually talking about INTPs etc at all, but are referring to something totally different despite putting it under the INTP label? That's kinda confusing with regards to what you're trying to do.
 

Pizzabeak

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#27
If anyone still cares, I'm currently in contact with a female who is supposed ENFJ - considering if I'm even INTP in the first place. I have stories of how we both determined our type that can provide as basis if need be. I read some of the information in Logic's post and I can say it sort of explained some of the ways I feel when I'm with her, since we have been seeing each other for quite some time. I stumbled up n this thread by Google searching "intp enfj", in fact. Some of that pod'lair stuff also sounds quasi-interesting. I looked into it and considered showing it to some people with whom I have introduced (and those who know of) MBTI. I haven't yet, but thought I would wait long enough until I have more information on pod'lair to see if it's even worth mentioning. It seems like some sort of recognizable force that would determine if we're even INTP & ENFJ in the first place.
 
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#28
My younger sister's an ENFJ and although she's barely a teen I'll list some of her good qualities and then some of her bad qualities when interacting with me.

Good:
-She's very caring/helpful
-She's always willing to listen
-She loves spending time with me
-She's very intelligent and able to grasp complex concepts
-She's very independent (in the right sense of the word, she's not easily brain-washed)
-She's very understanding when she knows I need my space and she backs off fairly easily.

Bad:
-She can be very bossy
-She can be very manipulative (aka charming) when she wants something
-She can be prone to playing mind games
-Everything has to be clean and tidy ALL THE TIME
-She scoffs down on apparent "laziness"
-She can come across as condescending without realizing

I can't say much about the social aspects of an ENFJ. My sister's homeschooled now so she's quite shy for an ENFJ but when she was younger and went to school she used to have friends round all the goddamn time and it used to annoy the hell out of me. She was like the ringleader so to speak, very popular. But that was a long time ago so I'm not really an expert on that anymore.

All in all it's a very easy relationship. Very compatible. We hold similar understandings and have the same way of looking at things, although I am well aware it's probably because we were raised together (That being said I don't get along with my INFP brother). I'm not sure how this would translate into a romantic relationship between a male INTP and a female ENFJ though.

Hope that was of some help.
 

viche

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#29
Yes, I know any type can have a relationship with any other type. But I'm kind of interested how an INTP and an ENFJ would work. What would the dynamics of such a relationship be? Based purely off of personality types, would it work good, ok, not so good? Just interested.
Socionics describes relations between TiNe and FeNi types (LII and EIE) as semi-duality. More details in that article.
 

Rainer

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#30
My mom is an ENFJ. We get along great. Seamlessly. We could work together well on a regular basis. I respect and admire her caring, concern, organization, and combination of selflessness and attention to self-care. She's also capable of being quite rational, but is also very gullible because of her extreme optimism about most people she meets.

She has a hard time holding out against my extremely weasely ENFP dad who is always simultaneously doing risky things with the family businesses and being negligent of them. She gets upset, he waits for her to get distracted by her life and proceeds in the very ways she didn't want, she gets upset again, he waits... etc.

And I think this is a common thread with ENFJs. They can truly be trusting and forgiving to a fault. They are true optimists.
 
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#31
Wow this is an old thread. I seem to know many fucked up types. The ENFJ that I know of its very manipulative in social situations. They try to be everyone's best friend, but those groups of people that the ENFJ is friends with are at war with each other. But somehow the ENFJ is in the good books of everyone. I'm not sure what type I am, but I observed all that from a distance.
 

Pizzabeak

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#32
Honestly it probably just depends on sexy they are. As long as they aren't fuckin' retarded it should be able work depending on the circumstances. For the record what you think may be ENFJ could also be ISTJ or ESFJ so make sure have it all figured out. I can't say for sure but they may be dumb, in general, although it could just be a sense of Ti in the various places in the types that seems like that. Through Fe they can take care of this dilemma for the most part. Their Ni might not shine enough leading to underwhelming performances but when it does it can be appreciated, I guess. They also have Se in the third spot with INXPs Si there, which I can surmise may lead to occasional conflict in activity planning, but again this depends on the circumstances.
All in all a terrible idea of a couple with too many differences in beliefs but as I said before, this should really just depend on how attractive they are. They'll probably be too dumb and restless for anything serious anyway.
If anything it will be interesting to see how another person's psychology and mind works. The differences can never be agreed upon and something will be left wanting. Even if they're into science or "deep philosophical conversations" chances are they won't be able to hold if engaged in one.
I think I used to know one. They weren't original and just copied what they thought I was doing, the poor confused little soul. Even if something isn't what they think they'll probably go along with it because they like people. When all that happens you're going to need other people to fulfill those so called desires. Again, if they're somewhat attractive it should be less an issue at least.
Seems like a terrible idea on paper and if it doesn't work within the first week there's little point in giving it a second chance, because they'd probably be trying to manipulate something by running back. I'd like to see the various ways other opposite type relationships can fail, like an Se dominant with an Se inferior. Should be amusing.
Fwiw I think Tupac may have been ENFJ...
 

baccheion

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#34
The theory/site that stated an INTP's ideal match is an ENFJ is just outright stupid. It's a bad idea. ENFJs can quickly become draining for INTPs, just not as bad as an ESFJ. Also, the absence (or low prioritization) of logic quickly becomes annoying/infuriating.
 
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