- Aug 25, 2017
Good day all and thanks in advance for any and all advice. I am an INTJ female who has been in a relationship with an INTP for a little over 3 months now. We are in a long distance relationship as we met while I was on vacation, never spoke, but felt incredibly drawn to each other. I found him on social media, he messaged me and we hit it off immediatey finding all these common interests and past experiences, which then led me to buying a plane ticket to go see him for a couple of days. It was amazing! We have an incredible connection and we can see a future together. Now I should back up a minute and say that my only relationship experience has been with an INTP boyfriend who I was head over heels for and an ISTP ex husband who was safe, much less complicated, but endlessly boring. Wo here I am, of course, drawn to dark complicated gorgeous musician INTP. As I have plenty of experience with how withdrawn INTPs can be, I have so much research to try to have this relationship actually succeed. He gets really sweet when he is on an emotional high, he has already told me he loves me, but when things cool down he is chill, honey if you get a lovey text you take a screenshot because it is like a shooting star haha. I am okay with that because the effort, communication and consistency is where the importance lies with me. I have had to hit the breaks a few times because I am all about solving any issues and blasting through any obstacles with a bulldozer. Well my boyfriend obviously is not that way. We almost even broke up because he was paralyzed with fear that being happy with me meant he was abandoning his son. I gave him my logic and then a ton of spce and he came around after a couple of days. Currently, he has a difficult financial situation as he is still supportig his ex wife and their son completey. I wasnt bothered by it at first because I am hell bent on being financially independent until i die and money is just money, but sometimes I cant help. Ut thinking that if he was really motivated to have this relationship with me, it would motivate him start to cut himself loose from his past responsibilities. Obviously he is a great father and I always want him to take care of his son. I guess theres a culture difference as he is Mexican and I am American, but well, the conversation didnt go over so well when I brought it up. Pretty much, I should have fallen in love with someone who had a less complicated situation. When I tel him that I just wanted him to tel me that I he wants to be with me and wants to work through these problems with me. I think of myself as a very understanding person if I am given something to work with. Then he turns around and asks me if he had to move back to Mexico for work if I would want to go with him. Or if I would want to go with him to Las Vegas. Did I mention he is a musician? Haha...I told him I would if we were in it together and he got really excited and then was going to think about it. Is he on something!? Hahaha...Is this normal INTP behavior? I am just one that if I am in it for the long haul there will be zero doubt and I feel like he is just still considering all of his options. Any advice? Is this as good as it gets with an INTP? Will one always just have to fly by the seat of their pants at wherever the INTP feels the wind blow?