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INFP males and the possible development of artficial J functions as defense mechanisms

Local time
Today, 13:13
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
33
#1
I am an INFP male ("physically" speaking anyway).

Until recently, I was very concerned about the fact that I did not seem able to relate to most men and women in my surrounding culture. I thought there was something "wrong" with me. It was impossible, for example, for me to "hang with the guys" (on the rare occasions I even tried to) without feeling like I had come from somewhere drastically different from the rest of them. I did not speak like them or even feel like they seemed to be feeling. Most of what I heard and perceived disturbed me emotionally anyway, and I would often go into a kind of "social freeze" right in the middle of the general hilarity and uproar taking place around me.

I was painfully aware that this was noticed too. I believed my only chance of survival was to develop and exhibit successfully in public all of the "skills" I thought I was seeing in my peers. Thus, I consciously and unconsciously began observing and incorporating jargon, "proper timing" of the delivery of an idea or piece of humor in a multi-participant conversation, what constituted humor that everyone could understand laugh about (and what did not), as well as "masculine" traits, which turned out to be nothing more than a disregard for sensitivity.

Not only did this process absorb an enormous amount of emotional and intellectual energy, but the results were, and became, seriously disharmonious within my own personality. This internal disharmony has prevented me from exploring the incredible possibilities of my natural personality.

I was testing as INFJ until I met an INTP female who was able to reveal to me what was happening. I was astonished utterly by her very existence. I had never in my life met someone who seemed to speak and think the way I had (or had wanted to) when I was younger. I had little knowledge of psychology or the significance of the MBTI until our long conversations about it.

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I had developed an artificially dominant J function. Before going on I just want to say that it I had gotten to a point of absolute desperation over myself; emotionally (and there seems little else in me) I was falling apart completely. The main reason I am calling this J function "artificial" is that it seems almost 100% inaccurate when it is applied to ideas, inspirations, people, situations, or myself. I'm almost never right when I try to predict, in absolute terms, the likelihood of something being a certain way.

It was the inaccuracy that really clinched it for me, but my constant lack of emotional energy was the other element. I associated the two and decided to perform an experiment. I thought, "Okay, I'm just going to stop judging everything I've ever done, said, or thought, and I'm also going to do the same with regard to everyone else. Yes I've got all these criteria for what is 'right' or what is 'wrong,' what is a 'good idea' and what is a 'bad idea,' but I'm not going to pay any attention to that anymore." I began to actualize this with the energy of deliberate intentionality. First, I stopped passing judgment on all the things I thought were haunting my past. Immediately I noticed my emotional energy "turn outward" (that's the only way I can describe it). Then, starting with little day to day things, including thoughts and inspirations, and small tasks here and there, I stopped passing judgment on which ones I could do and not do, should do at this time or another time; I also did the same thing toward the actions and words of other people.

The result has astounded me. I can feel my mind expanding. I seem to have a new feeling/idea every minute. I'm never done with one before another comes along just as interesting as the one before. It is so thrilling to feel alive again! :) I literally have not felt this way on a day to day basis in over five years.

I could go on and on about this experience. My only fear is that it won't last, but Jp was a life-drainer; I have to end that disharmony forever. I'm also afraid of the rest of humanity. I've forgotten how much day-dreaming bothers most people, especially when someone is doing it in their presence. I'm not trying to be rude when I don't hear someone or forget or overlook some detail in a schedule, procedure, or event, or conversation, but people seem to take it that way :( I've had to explain myself to assuage someone's feelings several times in just the last 24 hours!

Anyway, as I said I could go on and on here, but I'm really (REALLY INTENSELY) interested in what people here have to say about all of this. I couldn't have even written all of this a few days ago, I would have judged in some way that would have killed it before I got to the second or third sentence. I'm just laughing right now because I've barely thought twice about what I'm writing! :)

I love all you INTx's!

PAX
 

Duxwing

I've Overcome Existential Despair
Local time
Today, 13:13
Joined
Sep 9, 2012
Messages
3,783
#2
I am an INFP male ("physically" speaking anyway).

Until recently, I was very concerned about the fact that I did not seem able to relate to most men and women in my surrounding culture. I thought there was something "wrong" with me. It was impossible, for example, for me to "hang with the guys" (on the rare occasions I even tried to) without feeling like I had come from somewhere drastically different from the rest of them. I did not speak like them or even feel like they seemed to be feeling. Most of what I heard and perceived disturbed me emotionally anyway, and I would often go into a kind of "social freeze" right in the middle of the general hilarity and uproar taking place around me.

I was painfully aware that this was noticed too. I believed my only chance of survival was to develop and exhibit successfully in public all of the "skills" I thought I was seeing in my peers. Thus, I consciously and unconsciously began observing and incorporating jargon, "proper timing" of the delivery of an idea or piece of humor in a multi-participant conversation, what constituted humor that everyone could understand laugh about (and what did not), as well as "masculine" traits, which turned out to be nothing more than a disregard for sensitivity.

Not only did this process absorb an enormous amount of emotional and intellectual energy, but the results were, and became, seriously disharmonious within my own personality. This internal disharmony has prevented me from exploring the incredible possibilities of my natural personality.

I was testing as INFJ until I met an INTP female who was able to reveal to me what was happening. I was astonished utterly by her very existence. I had never in my life met someone who seemed to speak and think the way I had (or had wanted to) when I was younger. I had little knowledge of psychology or the significance of the MBTI until our long conversations about it.

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I had developed an artificially dominant J function. Before going on I just want to say that it I had gotten to a point of absolute desperation over myself; emotionally (and there seems little else in me) I was falling apart completely. The main reason I am calling this J function "artificial" is that it seems almost 100% inaccurate when it is applied to ideas, inspirations, people, situations, or myself. I'm almost never right when I try to predict, in absolute terms, the likelihood of something being a certain way.

It was the inaccuracy that really clinched it for me, but my constant lack of emotional energy was the other element. I associated the two and decided to perform an experiment. I thought, "Okay, I'm just going to stop judging everything I've ever done, said, or thought, and I'm also going to do the same with regard to everyone else. Yes I've got all these criteria for what is 'right' or what is 'wrong,' what is a 'good idea' and what is a 'bad idea,' but I'm not going to pay any attention to that anymore." I began to actualize this with the energy of deliberate intentionality. First, I stopped passing judgment on all the things I thought were haunting my past. Immediately I noticed my emotional energy "turn outward" (that's the only way I can describe it). Then, starting with little day to day things, including thoughts and inspirations, and small tasks here and there, I stopped passing judgment on which ones I could do and not do, should do at this time or another time; I also did the same thing toward the actions and words of other people.

The result has astounded me. I can feel my mind expanding. I seem to have a new feeling/idea every minute. I'm never done with one before another comes along just as interesting as the one before. It is so thrilling to feel alive again! :) I literally have not felt this way on a day to day basis in over five years.

I could go on and on about this experience. My only fear is that it won't last, but Jp was a life-drainer; I have to end that disharmony forever. I'm also afraid of the rest of humanity. I've forgotten how much day-dreaming bothers most people, especially when someone is doing it in their presence. I'm not trying to be rude when I don't hear someone or forget or overlook some detail in a schedule, procedure, or event, or conversation, but people seem to take it that way :( I've had to explain myself to assuage someone's feelings several times in just the last 24 hours!

Anyway, as I said I could go on and on here, but I'm really (REALLY INTENSELY) interested in what people here have to say about all of this. I couldn't have even written all of this a few days ago, I would have judged in some way that would have killed it before I got to the second or third sentence. I'm just laughing right now because I've barely thought twice about what I'm writing! :)

I love all you INTx's!

PAX
Good to hear, ginoskein! Stay the course and see how far your mind will go! Say, where do you go to school? I have the strangest feeling that I've met you somewhere.

-Duxwing
 
Local time
Today, 13:13
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
33
#3
I go to Georgia State University where I am studying and writing about [the personalities of various people who wrote books, letters, poems, and other textual miscellany commonly referred to as] philosophy, while finding many reasons to doubt the usefulness of the research program of rational thought.
 

Duxwing

I've Overcome Existential Despair
Local time
Today, 13:13
Joined
Sep 9, 2012
Messages
3,783
#4
I go to Georgia State University where I am studying and writing about [the personalities of various people who wrote books, letters, poems, and other textual miscellany commonly referred to as] philosophy, while finding many reasons to doubt the usefulness of the research program of rational thought.
Never mind about us having met then. Nevertheless, how did a Fi-dom like you end up in the world of logic? Such a turn of events would be much like me becoming a therapist (INTP = Ti Ne Si Fe). Also, if you wish to understand why you doubt the usefulness of philosophy, I'd be happy to show you.

-Duxwing
 
Local time
Today, 13:13
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
33
#5
Never mind about us having met then. Nevertheless, how did a Fi-dom like you end up in the world of logic? Such a turn of events would be much like me becoming a therapist (INTP = Ti Ne Si Fe). Also, if you wish to understand why you doubt the usefulness of philosophy, I'd be happy to show you.

-Duxwing
I was in a seminary program. In the Catholic Church, a certain number of philosophy credits are required before graduate level theology. After leaving that program two years into it, I decided (albeit with feelings of agony) to finish the degree. It has not been entirely a waste of time as I have discovered something I did not know about logic: it is one of the most limited tools in the human repertoire of tools for achieving authentic understanding. I was impressed by the writings, especially, of so-called "irrationalists" like Imre Lakatos and Paul Feyerabend. However, Quine makes some subtly and refreshingly brazen points (for a logician :) in Two Dogmas of Empiricism. Heraclitus, furthermore, is like a spiritual brother to me :)

Logic seems to take us so far, and then, all of sudden it would seem, it drops us on our head because the rather closed systems that are built with it need to be recalibrated by new experiences or they become crystalized into dogmatic societies. However, a logical system itself cannot "see" beyond itself without the help of what appear to be intensely radical forms of subjective inquiry that answer to pure, personal innovation alone.

I find that a dominant J function inhibits breakthroughs into the "periphery of experience." At any rate, I have been able to avoid intensive exposure to logic up to this point (except when I met the INTP female). To me it is all literature of a different type anyway. However, my (all too brief) exploration of Shakespeare just prior to GSU (with an, I suspect Fi-dom female professor) was enough of a contrast to keep me at a certain base-level of pain throughout my time there. Her class was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

I'm killing myself with multiple forms of inquiry. However, everything always turns me back to a single purpose: what IS a human being? If I can ever express that, even if it is only in terms I alone can understand... the dimensions and aspects and possible implications are so incredible in my mind! What are we in relation to the cosmos? What are we in relation to each other? And what does THAT tell us about this supra-personal experience we call God?

!
 
Local time
Today, 18:13
Joined
Mar 28, 2015
Messages
91
Location
UK
#6
I was testing as INFJ until I met an INTP female who was able to reveal to me what was happening. I was astonished utterly by her very existence. I had never in my life met someone who seemed to speak and think the way I had (or had wanted to) when I was younger. I had little knowledge of psychology or the significance of the MBTI until our long conversations about it.
Just want to say/confirm.

Tested as INTP MALE, met INFJ FEMALE, and now after extended period of being with her (and other life changes shaking/destroying my lifelong supressed F and my T 80%~ foundation which my identity was built on),

I am now thinking(pretty sure after a night of reflection and research)
I may be an INFP, which i'm just needing to integrate/embrace feelings in a public identity, and not just with my INFJ in private).




I would recommend any INTP to develop a relationship with an INFX, because connection is what INTPs lack, and I believe that's the main thing which makes us/them miserable withdrawn b*stards. (I was thinking of this days before the whole INFP thing yesterday).

Type is a label and not an excuse for limitation.
Everyone should try personal growth.

NOTE: I read last night INTPs make fun of INFPs.
Dear INTPs, don't try that now. You will lose, that's a promise ;)
 
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