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I'm trying to type my parents. Please help me.

GracelessDancer

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I know that type doesn't account for everything, but I still want to know how my parents stack up. Aside from explaining (at least partially) why they act the way they do, it might also shed some light on how I developed. Since I don't know enough about cognitive functions and have zero experience at typing people, I decided to turn this over to you. Many of you seem to know more about the subject, and besides, your discussions are fun to read. ;)

I'll try to describe them as best as I can; feel free to ask for more info if you need it. Your opinions are always welcome. Oh, and I'm sorry if my writing seems sloppy; I haven't gotten enough sleep over the past several days.

A. My father (possible IxxP)

1. He rarely attends social gatherings if he can help it. Although he likes company as much as the next guy, he doesn't actively seek it out and instead prefers to stay in a quiet corner somewhere. When he accompanies us to parties held by my mother's relatives, he just chats with some of my uncles or stays with my mother. He's much quieter with his own relatives and rarely initiates contact with them.

2. He cannot be pushed to do household chores if he doesn't feel the need or is absorbed in a project. If the roof is leaking in a room and no one in the house actually uses that room, he won't start to fix it unless my mother tells him to. And even if she does so, there's no guarantee that it will work.

3. His studio is rather messy and full of stuff he doesn't use. More specifically, one room in his building is cluttered and he sort of gathers everything there. He has difficulty throwing old things away, a trait that he passed on his eldest daughter. My mother often wonders how he gets anything done in there. I say it's because he's not bothered by the mess.

4. He reads constantly, even in the bathroom, and was a much wider reader when he was a kid. Most of his reading material is composed of music magazines, but he also reads Make, Popular Science, and Cooks' Illustrated. On more than one occasion, I have seen him with a detective novel...and on more than one occasion, I ended up taking that novel with me.

5. He graduated from university with a degree in public health, but he rebelled against his mother and became a musician instead. He plays the guitar, gives lessons sometimes, edits other people's recordings, and repairs instruments. For several years, he played with his band, but the last time they went out was a few months ago. I don't know if they're still active.

6. His favorite computer game is Plants vs Zombies, and he's rather good at it. His favorite part is the Vasebreaker puzzle, and he always tries to find ways to break his previous records.

7. My mother was the first girlfriend he ever had. I kind of doubt he dated other women.

8. Although my mother says that he's the "boss" in our family, he actually gives a lot of weight to her opinions and rarely imposes his will on her. When they do disagree on things, they prefer to discuss the matter calmly and do not resort to insulting each other. That's probably the reason why they're still together. He's probably the least possessive husband around.

9. He seems to have little apparent need for organized religion. He asks us to pray every night, goes to church with us on Sundays...and that's about it. In that respect, he's different from the rest of his family.

10. Whenever he sees the beginning of a sex scene on TV, he promptly changes the channel. He used to do the same even with kissing scenes or news broadcasts about rape cases. Probably because of this, my brothers cover their eyes when they see people kissing.

I'll post a list of my mom's traits later. I need to eat.
 

TheManBeyond

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Objects in the mirror might look closer than they
Perhaps ISFJ gone bad and thus looking like an ISFP? dunno.
it is hard to explore N dimention with little info you put
 

GracelessDancer

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ISFJ? I never really considered that. What exactly do you mean by "gone bad"?
And what questions should I answer to explore the N dimension?
 

Elliott roger

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I was gonna post first with the same conclusion but decided to wait it out.
 

Elliott roger

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The N dimension is roughly associated with Openness. If you are struggling with N vs S in the MBTI then read about "Openness to Experience" as a personality dimension. It is more generally applicable and will work as a fairly reliable heuristic.
 

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I'd say ISFP for your father. I'll try to help when there's more information about your mother. I don't think ISFJ makes much sense, because he doesn't have much of a need for organized religion. SJs usually are the epitome of organized. And they love organized religion. If a Guardian is ever an atheist, expect them to have the same structured dedication they'd have as a theist.
 

Brontosaurie

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I'd say ISFP for your father. I'll try to help when there's more information about your mother. I don't think ISFJ makes much sense, because he doesn't have much of a need for organized religion. SJs usually are the epitome of organized. And they love organized religion. If a Guardian is ever an atheist, expect them to have the same structured dedication they'd have as a theist.

or they just have a structured dedication to the dishes or the lawn or the rules instead.
 

GracelessDancer

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or they just have a structured dedication to the dishes or the lawn or the rules instead.

I almost laughed when you said "structured dedication to the dishes." The first thing that came to mind was a crowd of SJ's doing elaborate rituals over their kitchen sinks. Maybe that's why they're so successful at chores; couldn't they teach us a thing or two?

ISFP sounds fitting now that I've read some descriptions. It makes more sense for him than the profile for ISFJ.

Now let's move on to my mother. Easier to list her traits, harder to decide her type.

1. She calls herself an introvert but doesn't seem to act like one. Perhaps it has to do with many years of teaching, but she's perfectly at ease when talking to people and is far more social compared to my dad. If we go to parties and functions together, chances are she'll meet someone who knows her. A lot of people seem to remember her even though she does not always remember their names. But she does not always attend just for the sake of it; she attends because someone invited her.

2. She's an eloquent speaker. I've accompanied her to programs before, and she has this way of making others listen. She doesn't have to raise her voice or pull stunts to be understood, because the audience will just do that naturally. And they do that most of the time. If she's addressing a group of farmers from the province, she'll speak their language like she doesn't know English. If she's conducting a workshop in a corporate environment, she'll be really businesslike, and if she's speaking to high school students, she'll be super chill and laid-back. She was actually the speaker at one of our debate trainings, and some of the kids approached me afterwards and said, "Your mom's so cool."

3. She's very good at reading others and can easily tell if someone is trustworthy. Although we don't always agree with each other, I still go with her opinions most of the time because she's nearly always right. Especially about people. I, on the other hand, have trouble reading people.

4. She was very popular when she was younger. She actually had lots of suitors, but she didn't choose any of them and married my father instead. She's still on friendly terms with some of them until now.

5. She had a lot of potential academically, but was later described as an "underachiever" because she didn't always make the honor roll. From first to fifth grades, she was an honor student, but she slacked off later on and focused more on her extracurricular activities. She joined a lot of contests, including some beauty pageants in her hometown. When she entered college, she took up Secondary Education, English, and her master's degree was in Drama Education and Theater Arts. She had little patience with math and science, although she values it more highly now.

6. She's way more observant than my father, and more of a "do-er" as well. Unlike her husband and two of her children, she cares way more about keeping the house clean and has higher standards of neatness. She cannot think straight if her room is messy. If she wants to paint the wall, she won't wait for Dad to do it; she'll do it herself if she has the time. However...

7. She has a problem with time management. The way she says it, she's the exception in her punctual, well-disciplined family. Both she and my dad are late sleepers, and the same thing goes for me and my siblings. Also, when we go to church or to parties as a family (hosted by my mom's siblings) expect us to be late.

8. She has a pragmatic attitude towards books. Although she acknowledges that they are useful, she discourages me from following them to the letter because they are just the opinions of other people. She wants me to think of my own opinions and ideas, and I can get those ideas better by observing real people in the real world, by being more "in the moment" and not just in my head.

9. She did not lay down strict rules for us when we were growing up. In our house, we could easily do whatever we wanted as long as we did our homework and did what they told us to do. We could go out with our friends if they were notified first. We could easily discuss things with them, as long as we didn't yell and gave our reasons in a calm manner. However, she was firm if she had to be. I remember one time when I was five years old and complaining that my classmates knew much less than I did. She said, "Your classmates are learning to read. Now you must learn to obey." I later realized how logical that was.

10. She gets frustrated with my dad and my dad's family, but she doesn't bother herself much with them because she knows that she did not raise them. Instead, she tries to make sure that we kids don't adopt any of his (or her) bad habits. "I did not raise your dad. But you are my children, and I raised you, and I would be very sad if you didn't learn from me."
 

Alias

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This is just an impression, I could be wrong, but maybe your mother's an ENFJ. If she's a teacher and meets people she knows constantly, that reminds me a lot of my father, who is most likely ENFJ. But if we decide on Introvert, she could be INFJ. I'm waiting for what other members think.
 

marie

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Your mom is ENFJ I think. ENJFs functional stack is Fe-Ni-Se-Ti.
Fe- ???
Ni- she can read other people
Se- Doer
Ti- ???

I'm not yet an expert when it comes to function though, I could be wrong on my assessment. Need someone to expand this. Your mom is hard to type. So for now I think she's an ENFJ.
 

Alias

empirical miracle
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With marie's function analysis, she could also be ENTJ. And that's possible too. Try to see if your mother is more emotional than not. Also you can try distinguishing NF from NT. NFs are more altruistic and passionate, while an NT is calculative and determined.
 

onesteptwostep

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INTP father and ENFJ mother could be about right.

I'm not sure how the family cultural dynamics work in the Philiphines, but cultural traditions somewhat blur the picture on type, just to comment.

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What kind of movies does your father like?

I'm also guessing your mother approached your father first, knowing one of my ENFJ friends.

On your father, him editing and fixing instruments seems INTP to me, considering his other habits. On his #9 trait, I think you have it wrong when you say that he has little need for organized religion. What you describe of him, of what he wants, is very religiously oriented, though not really in a social, communal way. Seems like a rounded INTP to me, when considering his other traits. ISFJ does makes sense for him though, however, although I'm not sure how I would argument that.

On your mother, introversion does not always mean the type has to have a 'I', as opposed to 'E'. ENTPs are considered the most introverted out of the extroverted types, for example. What most people consider 'oh s/he's an extrovert' are actually Artisans, because of their 'Se' which is either their dom or aux.

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Wrapping up, your parents, if they are INTP-ENFJ, match up because their dom and inf's feed off/compliment each other. [Ti-dom/Fe-inf] for INTP, while [Fe-dom/Ti-inf] for ENFJ.
 

marie

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With marie's function analysis, she could also be ENTJ. And that's possible too. Try to see if your mother is more emotional than not. Also you can try distinguishing NF from NT. NFs are more altruistic and passionate, while an NT is calculative and determined.

I find it easier to type when using functions. Yeah I think ENTJ is possible.. I agree try to see if she is emotional or not.


^Ditto

Why not ISTP for her dad? ISTP likes to fix things too.
 

Pizzabeak

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your mom's opinion on books is da bomb

Fairly standard opinion on "books" nowadays, and it isn't that clever anymore. Basically just hints at greasy Fi or hindered Ti. I wouldn't obsess over that opinion just because it throws a jab at the prevailing political regimes. Instead, I would promote something along the lines of 'choose your books wisely' (not waste time) or, if push comes to shove, don't put them on a pedestal? Books are just books though and it's always been that way. Same goes for movies and music but you need those.
 
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