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I think i am depressed or just having Existential crises

xersevx

Redshirt
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Today, 21:56
Joined
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#1
Subject- I think i am depressed or just having Existential crises
What i want your opinion on -- what should i do, what kind of person should i be and should i change myself ?
How much I know -- I know for a fact that i am an INTP / Everything describes me as how i have been since a small kid my learning abilities and thinking have been so good that i have been told throughout my whole life that i was special and one day
i would become or do something great/ I have always under performed in school in all subjects except in grammar and science -- As i grew up i got many bad habits became ignorant to emotions and in college i smoked weed and cigarettes in my first year / at first i liked it because i could get in more depth of my thoughts, i always wondered why people would smoke weed and go out and waste there time on stupid things when they could be thinking something Then after some time i started connecting with people and i felt that people are just people they are also thinking something most of the time but they dont think it to themselves they actually think out to the world hence they are extroverts, most of them are thinking about stupid things but thats okay they are not meant to fulfill what i want from them and its only my perception of them thinking stupid not the actual truth . so i started doing things that others would like and also make me happy, i noticed that i can actually ignore my thoughts and analytical skill to a certain level and use it to be a extrovert person and so it happened and i became popular and likable by others even girls started to ask about me at college i spent my second year like this, i was still shy but it didn't matter to me because when it used to matter to me i always thought to get rid of it but things changed as the third year was close due to some situations which are irreverent for the reader, me and the one i called my best friend were able to share a room and started living together i liked him because he understood me and listened to my theories, ideas and philosophy and sometimes gave his own i thought we were alike but then i started to smoke weed with him at first it was fine , i literally talked to him to the point when you reach the limit of the existence itself after some time i realized that we were not alike while he was like me before college now he is more like a extrovert who goes out but i did not have a problem in that because i myself have become one, going to parties and being popular but things changed a lot as i used him as a listener to find out things about the reality we live in, i discovered my true self i was not what i thought i was i saw my friend too coping my so called skill to be an extrovert and cool and i realized that its not true to be this kind of person faking everything to the point where you are not yourself but the shadow of what other people think is cool and confident i was not this person being ignorant, self-centered and doing things because others thought it was cool so i stooped smoking and stooped doing everything i thought i made up but the problem is as an INTP its so much to hard to analyze yourself to the point in consciousnesses where you are sure of certain things when your thought is your true self and the one which is a shadow of the outer world I have faked so much that there are certain things about me i cannot know for sure are of my true self or fake self as of now i am in third year 22 years old and i dont know my purpose can some one take a brief time to actually believe what i have said to be 100 % true and give a reply that is unbiased and belongs to the real world it might seem nonsense but one thing is for sure that i am lost and i need someone to show me a way
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REPLY
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
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#2
You just need a fuwhend.
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
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Joined
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Messages
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#4
It's a magical natural remedy for things like depression and existential crisis. The entire psych-medical community HATES it when people use this method.
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
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Joined
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#6
That's why it's magical, dude. I'm telling you, if you get this 'fuwhend' all your worries will be washed away. It's a huge secret.
 

Ex-User (13503)

Well-Known Member
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Today, 16:26
Joined
Aug 20, 2016
Messages
575
#7
onestep is trying to tell you that he thinks you need a friend. "fuwhend." Inferior Fe + Ne = fucking weird sometimes.
xersevx said:
i need someone to show me a way
Nope. No one can think for you. You just need to start paying attention and explore to identify what you enjoy. The sky isn't actually falling.
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
Local time
Tomorrow, 01:26
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
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2,953
#8
AHHH THE SKY IS FALLING AHHHHHHHH

oh shit nvm its just my vertigo
;]
 

xersevx

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 21:56
Joined
Sep 3, 2018
Messages
12
#10
I can't seem to find a fuwhend
Who is actually true to himself and hence me
 

xersevx

Redshirt
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Today, 21:56
Joined
Sep 3, 2018
Messages
12
#12
But what if what I enjoy is just the shadow of the current world, trying to tell people what to do .. eg ads telling you what to buy , where to go , what kind of cloths are popular or look good , which movies to watch .. and it's all fake and made-up in the end ... Ads are designed to target you for maximum profit and movies are just a way to take away you from reality into a dreamy world , what choice should I make that will be mine alone unplugged from the external forces
 

Ex-User (13503)

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 16:26
Joined
Aug 20, 2016
Messages
575
#13
Don't overthink it, just do it. If you discover it's not authentic later on, you can change.

en·joy
inˈjoi,enˈjoi/
verb
  1. 1. to take delight or pleasure in
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
Local time
Tomorrow, 01:26
Joined
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Messages
2,953
#14
Bro, as a limited time fuwhend, you seem insecure. Pull yourself up by the boot straps! Just shrug all that insecurity off, like, who really cares anyway? Gotta take the world on by the balls dude.
 
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#15
You're looking to find yourself. You are looking for someone genuine like you. If that is the case you already know who you are you just need help expressing it. You do not want to be fake so you must recognize what that is in yourself. You do need a friend but you must feel ok being yourself first. If you be yourself you will get what you are looking for. You just need to trust you know what being genuine means. You know it already.
 

xersevx

Redshirt
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Joined
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#16
Thanks for your replies
I do know myself a bit but most of the time I pretend to be a combination of different characters I have meet in life ... I just want to stop that so I can just be what I already am ...
I don't know myself why it is hard for me
 

xersevx

Redshirt
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Joined
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Messages
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#17
T
You're looking to find yourself. You are looking for someone genuine like you. If that is the case you already know who you are you just need help expressing it. You do not want to be fake so you must recognize what that is in yourself. You do need a friend but you must feel ok being yourself first. If you be yourself you will get what you are looking for. You just need to trust you know what being genuine means. You know it already.
Thanks for clearing things up
 

Artsu Tharaz

Resident Resident
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Dec 12, 2010
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3,000
#18
You don't need to follow the world's ways to do what is right.

In fact, it is often of detriment to do so.
 

travelnjones

Active Member
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#20
Well it says you live in India, so by the numbers. Even if you are looking for a 1 in a million sort of person there are thousands of great people to be your buddy.
 

xersevx

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#21
Is it the case everywhere , people in India are if not selfish then who follow superstition..
I am 22 and people around me don't get me, like I am trying to listen to who ever speaks up to me but no one actually listens to me ...
There are possibly 2 possibility either I am really dum or maybe I hate to admit I my self might be self centred
 
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#22
You are a rare person if actually listen to people. You should feel good about yourself about that.
 
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#24
Giacomo Leopardi: No one thing shows the greatness and power of the human intellect or the loftiness and nobility of man more than his ability to know and to understand fully and feel strongly his own smallness. When, in considering the multiplicity of worlds, he feels himself to be an infinitesimal part of a globe which itself is a negligible part of one of the infinite number of systems that go to make up the world, and in considering this is astonished by his own smallness, and in feeling it deeply and regarding it intently, virtually blends into nothing, and it is as if he loses himself in the immensity of things, and finds himself as though lost in the incomprehensible vastness of existence, with this single act and thought he gives the greatest possible proof of the nobility and immense capability of his own mind, which, enclosed in such a small and negligible being, has nonetheless managed to know and understand things so superior to his own nature, and to embrace and contain this same intensity of existence and things in his thought. Certainly no other thinking being on this earth ever managed to conceive or imagine it was but a small thing, either in itself or compared to others, even if with respect to its body it is but a billionth part of man, to say nothing of its mind. And in truth, the greater a being is, which man is above all other earthly beings, the more capable it is too of the knowledge and sense of its own smallness. Hence such knowledge and sense, even among men, is greater, and more lively, more common and continuous, fuller, the greater, higher, and more capable are the intellects and minds of the individuals concerned. (12 August, Feast of St. Clare, 1823.) Zibaldone, 3171-3172


Blaise Pascal: Man is but a reed, the most feeble thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed. The entire universe need not arm itself to crush him. A vapour, a drop of water suffices to kill him. But, if the universe were to crush him, man would still be more noble than that which killed him, because he knows that he dies and the advantage which the universe has over him; the universe knows nothing of this. All our dignity consists, then, in thought. By it we must elevate ourselves, and not by space and time which we cannot fill. Let us endeavour, then, to think well; this is the principle of morality. (Pensées, 347)

The greatness of man is great in that he knows himself to be miserable. A tree does not know itself to be miserable. It is then being miserable to know oneself to be miserable; but it is also being great to know that one is miserable. (Pensées, 397)

Greatness and wretchedness. — Wretchedness being deduced from greatness, and greatness from wretchedness, some have inferred man's wretchedness all the more because they have taken his greatness as a proof of it, and others have inferred his greatness with all the more force, because they have inferred it from his very wretchedness. All that the one party has been able to say in proof of his greatness has only served as an argument of his wretchedness to the others, because the greater our fall, the more wretched we are, and vice versa. The one party is brought back to the other in an endless circle, it being certain that in proportion as men possess light they discover both the greatness and the wretchedness of man. In a word, man knows that he is wretched. He is therefore wretched, because he is so; but he is really great because he knows it. (Pensées, 416)


Giacomo Leopardi: Boredom is in some ways the most sublime of human feelings. It is not that I think an examination of this feeling gives rise to those consequences that many philosophers have claimed to have inferred. Nevertheless, not being able to be satisfied with any earthly thing or, so to speak, with the whole earth; considering the immeasurable extent of space, the number and the wonderful size of the worlds, and finding that everything is small and petty in comparison with the capacity of one´s own mind; picturing to oneself the infinite number of worlds, and the infinite universe, and feeling that the soul and our desire must be still greater than such a universe; always accusing things of insufficiency and nothingness; and suffering a huge lack and emptiness, and therefore boredom – all this seems to me the greatest sign of grandeur and nobility which there is in human nature. And so boredom is seldom seen in men of no account, and very seldom or never in other creatures. (Pensieri, 68. Translation: J. G. Nichols)
 

travelnjones

Active Member
Local time
Today, 08:26
Joined
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Messages
234
#26
Everyone follows a little superstition. I won't pour milk from two different jugs into a glass. I have a very few friends, I would forgive them of many things. Loyal good people who like spending time with me are a scarce commodity.
 

QuickTwist

Alive - Born Anew
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Joined
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Messages
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...
#28
If you can get over the cringe of this video, it might be beneficial to you.


This was a video I made days before a life-changing event.

I am 32 years old. I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder in 2007. I am now enrolled in a community college taking a speech class of all things (something that in no way comes naturally to me).

There is a difference between doing the opposite of what is natural to you for its own sake and doing it in the pursuit to actually learn something valuable.
 

Novina

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 08:26
Joined
Sep 13, 2018
Messages
1
#29
Subject- I think i am depressed or just having Existential crises
What i want your opinion on -- what should i do, what kind of person should i be and should i change myself ?
How much I know -- I know for a fact that i am an INTP / Everything describes me as how i have been since a small kid my learning abilities and thinking have been so good that i have been told throughout my whole life that i was special and one day
i would become or do something great/ I have always under performed in school in all subjects except in grammar and science -- As i grew up i got many bad habits became ignorant to emotions and in college i smoked weed and cigarettes in my first year / at first i liked it because i could get in more depth of my thoughts, i always wondered why people would smoke weed and go out and waste there time on stupid things when they could be thinking something Then after some time i started connecting with people and i felt that people are just people they are also thinking something most of the time but they dont think it to themselves they actually think out to the world hence they are extroverts, most of them are thinking about stupid things but thats okay they are not meant to fulfill what i want from them and its only my perception of them thinking stupid not the actual truth . so i started doing things that others would like and also make me happy, i noticed that i can actually ignore my thoughts and analytical skill to a certain level and use it to be a extrovert person and so it happened and i became popular and likable by others even girls started to ask about me at college i spent my second year like this, i was still shy but it didn't matter to me because when it used to matter to me i always thought to get rid of it but things changed as the third year was close due to some situations which are irreverent for the reader, me and the one i called my best friend were able to share a room and started living together i liked him because he understood me and listened to my theories, ideas and philosophy and sometimes gave his own i thought we were alike but then i started to smoke weed with him at first it was fine , i literally talked to him to the point when you reach the limit of the existence itself after some time i realized that we were not alike while he was like me before college now he is more like a extrovert who goes out but i did not have a problem in that because i myself have become one, going to parties and being popular but things changed a lot as i used him as a listener to find out things about the reality we live in, i discovered my true self i was not what i thought i was i saw my friend too coping my so called skill to be an extrovert and cool and i realized that its not true to be this kind of person faking everything to the point where you are not yourself but the shadow of what other people think is cool and confident i was not this person being ignorant, self-centered and doing things because others thought it was cool so i stooped smoking and stooped doing everything i thought i made up but the problem is as an INTP its so much to hard to analyze yourself to the point in consciousnesses where you are sure of certain things when your thought is your true self and the one which is a shadow of the outer world I have faked so much that there are certain things about me i cannot know for sure are of my true self or fake self as of now i am in third year 22 years old and i dont know my purpose can some one take a brief time to actually believe what i have said to be 100 % true and give a reply that is unbiased and belongs to the real world it might seem nonsense but one thing is for sure that i am lost and i need someone to show me a way
Show less


REPLY
I have a ? Iam a empath, infj, old soul, leo left handed person oh and bipolar type 2. Now i say all this to say i see things in ppl far beyond what i should. Do u manipulate ppl, do u lie to get what u want, are u fearful of love romantically and do u sabotaged relationships out of fear of abandoment.
 
Local time
Today, 21:56
Joined
Sep 3, 2018
Messages
12
#30
REPLY[/QUOTE]
I have a ? Iam a empath, infj, old soul, leo left handed person oh and bipolar type 2. Now i say all this to say i see things in ppl far beyond what i should. Do u manipulate ppl, do u lie to get what u want, are u fearful of love romantically and do u sabotaged relationships out of fear of abandoment.[/QUOTE]

No one can fully understand or witness what you feel so you have to hide the plain truth sometimes and even manipulate for its own sake ..
 
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