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I hate to be INTP

Riot

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 09:02
Joined
Aug 26, 2018
Messages
1
Location
Rabbit hole
#1
Who I am?

Is that really important? Does that matter?
I'm invisible passenger. I'm stranger who does belong to nothing, to infinity.
I'm one tiny light that will turn off and stop shining forever in the next moment.
I can't change antything, I don't have control, and it frustrate me and make me so anger.

I'm female, 21y, web design student, and I stuck because of my mental health problems. I'm tipical example of stupid intp.
And to be honest, I hate that I'm intp. From all personality types, this is the top one of most deppresed, lonely and weirdo one.
I hate my pessimism, negativism, nihilizm, passive and unhealty, aggresive personality.
I hate my low self esteem and poor self image. (Most of the time I feel like Thirion from GOT, some creepy feature. and sometime like unloved Stanis :D )
I hate chronical feeling of alienation, isolation, TERRIBLE social skills. Most of the time my mind is just blind and I don't know what to say. Im too preocupated to what others think about me.
I dont have focus and i give up too fast from my decisions. I cant make long term habbit i stop after 2 days ahaha.
I have social anxiety, depression... in the last time i think that i have aspenger sindrome..(or maybe bordeline disorder)....but i must take tests...and im bisexual also...prefer girls more.
I havent got any special talents, Im bad at everything.
I have terrible logic and terrible problem solver.

I hate my life. I hate all people.
I hate my bad english.
Im just stupid.
Its fairytail that all intp are genius.

''Being different doesn't make you usefull''
 

baccheion

Active Member
Local time
Today, 03:02
Joined
May 2, 2016
Messages
224
#2
Who I am?

Is that really important? Does that matter?
I'm invisible passenger. I'm stranger who does belong to nothing, to infinity.
I'm one tiny light that will turn off and stop shining forever in the next moment.
I can't change antything, I don't have control, and it frustrate me and make me so anger.

I'm female, 21y, web design student, and I stuck because of my mental health problems. I'm tipical example of stupid intp.
And to be honest, I hate that I'm intp. From all personality types, this is the top one of most deppresed, lonely and weirdo one.
I hate my pessimism, negativism, nihilizm, passive and unhealty, aggresive personality.
I hate my low self esteem and poor self image. (Most of the time I feel like Thirion from GOT, some creepy feature. and sometime like unloved Stanis :D )
I hate chronical feeling of alienation, isolation, TERRIBLE social skills. Most of the time my mind is just blind and I don't know what to say. Im too preocupated to what others think about me.
I dont have focus and i give up too fast from my decisions. I cant make long term habbit i stop after 2 days ahaha.
I have social anxiety, depression... in the last time i think that i have aspenger sindrome..(or maybe bordeline disorder)....but i must take tests...and im bisexual also...prefer girls more.
I havent got any special talents, Im bad at everything.
I have terrible logic and terrible problem solver.

I hate my life. I hate all people.
I hate my bad english.
Im just stupid.
Its fairytail that all intp are genius.

''Being different doesn't make you usefull''
Meditation, brainwave entrainment audio, reading, health & nutrition, a multivitamin stack, nootropics, iodine protocol, exercise/HIIT, fix any nutrient deficiencies (nutrient tests like NutrEval, a comprehensive hormone panel, a thyroid panel, and maybe even genetic testing; many are deficient in vitamin D and magnesium), figure out what you enjoy doing, learn new things, find new projects, self-help tapes, etc.

If it is something more serious as you said (asperger's, borderline, etc), then I don't know.
 

Ex-User (8886)

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 08:02
Joined
Sep 11, 2013
Messages
620
#3
Is that really important? Does that matter?
personally, I'm curious about all new people here
From all personality types, this is the top one of most deppresed, lonely and weirdo one.
not true, all T dominant are equally prone to depression, ISTJs are probably the most anti-social and Ne-dominant are the weirdest. So it's not so bad to be INTP. It's only a matter of your limited perspective.
my mental health problems
everyone here has some mental problems xD
21y, web design student,
that's good

Welcome to the forum

EDIT: one more thing, the longer you live, the more you want to live
 

Pizzabeak

Prolific Member
Local time
Today, 00:02
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
1,986
#4
Only money matters, looks hardly do, and personality certainly doesn't. And money hardly matters either. Ego is pretty important, to an extent.
 
Local time
Today, 19:02
Joined
Dec 28, 2013
Messages
1,513
#5
I havent got any special talents, Im bad at everything.
You're quite good at complaining. :)

Your English is good as I could understand everything you said. You made a few spelling and grammatical errors but it really didn't inhibit the meaning of what you were saying. With more practice you will notice those mistakes and correct them over time.
 

Gyppo

navy shirt
Local time
Today, 08:02
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
163
Location
on your eyes
#7
Who I am?

Is that really important? Does that matter?
I'm invisible passenger. I'm stranger who does belong to nothing, to infinity.
I'm one tiny light that will turn off and stop shining forever in the next moment.
I can't change antything, I don't have control, and it frustrate me and make me so anger.

I'm female, 21y, web design student, and I stuck because of my mental health problems. I'm tipical example of stupid intp.
And to be honest, I hate that I'm intp. From all personality types, this is the top one of most deppresed, lonely and weirdo one.
I hate my pessimism, negativism, nihilizm, passive and unhealty, aggresive personality.
I hate my low self esteem and poor self image. (Most of the time I feel like Thirion from GOT, some creepy feature. and sometime like unloved Stanis :D )
I hate chronical feeling of alienation, isolation, TERRIBLE social skills. Most of the time my mind is just blind and I don't know what to say. Im too preocupated to what others think about me.
I dont have focus and i give up too fast from my decisions. I cant make long term habbit i stop after 2 days ahaha.
I have social anxiety, depression... in the last time i think that i have aspenger sindrome..(or maybe bordeline disorder)....but i must take tests...and im bisexual also...prefer girls more.
I havent got any special talents, Im bad at everything.
I have terrible logic and terrible problem solver.

I hate my life. I hate all people.
I hate my bad english.
Im just stupid.
Its fairytail that all intp are genius.

''Being different doesn't make you usefull''
All so true. I have no answers. Just imagine I patted you on the shoulder. There, there...

Your English is okay and I think your introduction was beautifully put, if that consoles you in any way. I know it doesn't.
 

Reluctantly

Resident disMember
Local time
Yesterday, 22:02
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
3,138
#9
Who I am?

Is that really important? Does that matter?
I'm invisible passenger. I'm stranger who does belong to nothing, to infinity.
I'm one tiny light that will turn off and stop shining forever in the next moment.
I can't change antything, I don't have control, and it frustrate me and make me so anger.
Aren't we all passengers though? Control is really an illusion. Yeah, some people seem to be in control, but then you take a closer look at their lives and find they succeed by fighting through struggles. They appear in control, but have to fight to succeed; that doesn't sound like true control to me.

Anyway, if it's any consolation, people like you have a lot more character than your average "appear to be in control" joe. It takes a pretty unique individual to deal with being different and rise above it. People with character are compelling. Being in control is boring anyway.
 

onesteptwostep

Think.. Be... ..buzz buzz :)
Local time
Today, 17:02
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
2,953
#10
I read up to "im 21" then went straight down here to type up this comment.
 

Niclmaki

Disturber of the Peace
Local time
Today, 03:02
Joined
Oct 21, 2012
Messages
390
Location
Canada
#11
Oh yeah? Well I hate to

On topic. INTPs aren’t really worse off or better off than other types. If it really bugs you though, you can try using your intuition more. Spend less time analysing experiences and more exploring. Really helps to pull you out of a funk.

Reading more of your post... Yeah, you REALLY need to exercise that extraverted intuition. I’m probably bias as hell though, being an Entp. Introverted thinking on its own just seems doomed to be depressive honestly lol.
 

elliptoid

the void is a lie
Local time
Today, 03:02
Joined
May 1, 2016
Messages
123
#12
I know another intp who sometimes feels like that.
The solution is most clear from the outside.

it is insufficient to feel self-loathing at your flaws
it makes all the difference to practice self-acceptance enough to make meaningful change

problem is too much self-acceptance makes one not care to change anymore

then it's a cycle that starts again with self-loathing.

The solution is to care enough about yourself to make small changes become permanent. Especially changes in thinking. Results take sometimes 1y, 5y, 10years so you can't deviate from the strategy just because you don't get results overnight. That's what intellectually lazy and incompetent people do.
 
Local time
Today, 01:02
Joined
Dec 15, 2018
Messages
9
#13
I can understand, in a very similar boat; It's hard when you don't quite fit into a label. People are a lot less inclusive or empathetic to any observabe roadblocks you have. Medical problems only further complicate it. If it helps, just keep in mind that you don't owe anyone an explanation about yourself. Things may be the way they are, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. I find it quite offending when I'm called a pessimist. Next person who does, just tell them your baseline standards of acceptable are just higher than their.
 
Local time
Today, 01:02
Joined
Dec 15, 2018
Messages
9
#14
I know another intp who sometimes feels like that.
The solution is most clear from the outside.

it is insufficient to feel self-loathing at your flaws
it makes all the difference to practice self-acceptance enough to make meaningful change

problem is too much self-acceptance makes one not care to change anymore

then it's a cycle that starts again with self-loathing.

The solution is to care enough about yourself to make small changes become permanent. Especially changes in thinking. Results take sometimes 1y, 5y, 10years so you can't deviate from the strategy just because you don't get results overnight. That's what intellectually lazy and incompetent people do.
Dang. That's really well said. I've noticed in this forum a stark similarity between all, but particularly between those at the same maturity level. It's like we're all on the same path, just at different places. Pretty neat.
 
Local time
Today, 09:02
Joined
Sep 28, 2018
Messages
143
#15
You don't have to accept the INTP stereotype.
I'm strong, i bite, i will beat the crap out of you if you want to start a fight, i take what i what i think i need and i can say no to any request that's wrong.
You just have to practice it.
But you need to know what YOU WANT.
As long as you are just looking around, uncertain, you won't have the self-esteem to define a space for yourself.
Maybe you are just looking around and that's totally okay.
And there's nothing to be afraid about.
On every thing in the world there's at least 100 opinions.
 
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