I feel like I don't fit in anywhere

[peoplesuck]

A lot of loners seem to think that wanting friends is waste of time and energy but that don't realize that you can gain a lot of knowledge and experience from other people. That's how the human race got so knowledgable in the first place. No one person is that smart. It's about collaborating.

A lot of bitter people who call themselves loners are like that. A loner is actually just a person who is more happy by themselves, not a person who is alone. I would agree everyone can teach you something.

It's not nessessarily about feeling equal. It's about feeling proud of myself. I admire people who get out and do a lot with their time on earth and experience a lot. I wish I could be that way but I don't have the confidence.

If you want to feel proud of yourself first you must do things you would be proud of...I think at least? You can work on things, unless you decide to give yourself a victim card and sit out.
A helpful way to look at this is:
where will you be in 10 years, using your current strategy?
make a plan based on that.

I think I just feel inadequate around other people. That's why I have a hard time opening up about myself. I feel embarrassed that I haven't had the social experiences that I would like to have had.

Im not really sure what to tell you.
If you sit down and think about how small you are, how flawed humans are, and how fragile life is, you may realize how silly it is, to worry about what other people think.
If you put yourself in their shoes, how would you judge you?
I wouldnt look down to a person in my position, and I think only a small person belittles others.
At the same time, im wasting my time, and if someone told me to get my shit together, I would agree say im working towards it.

we are fairly similar btw, I used to struggle with your issues much more. I have grown since then, and made a few good friends.
Im more schizoid than you are though, so its less difficult for me.
If what im saying isnt helpful, just let me know and I wont bother you.

 

[moody]

For most of my life (I'm 35 now), I've felt like an outsider. I'm a friendly, good-natured guy and I have a good personality and a range of interests but I've always had issues with self confidence and finding friends. I was very shy and awkward in my teens and didn't have any friends at school. I feel like I missed out on a lot because of that and still feel insecure and embarrassed about it.

I moved to a different city after high school and I managed to work on my social skills enough to make some friends in college but I realized that I was not really being myself and had adopted and idealized version of myself to present to others. I don't have any friends anymore and although I really want friends, I don't want to be artificial. I don't care about having a huge circle of friends. I would settle for one really good friend that I could talk to about anything and be 100% honest and genuine around.

I don't know how to find good friends. I don't often meet people who would even be open to a friendship like that. I feel like I'm the only one like this sometimes.

The older you get, the harder it becomes to take a plunge and socially go outside of our comfort zones. Start small, and try something you always wanted to try before (like taking a community class on art or another language, joining intramural sports teams, or learning a martial art, etc) where you will be in a social environment. The only way to find other people you may like is to put yourself in an environment where there is a potential to meet new friends and the other people are also open to being friendly. (Unlike trying to interrupt someone while they're working, or outright talking to strangers on the street).

I avoid social situations because I feel like I'm bound to do something "wrong," but if i go a long time avoiding them then I become unsocialized and create a self-fulfilling prophecy any time I'm in a social setting. (That, and I honestly don't have interest in many of the social things people my age in my area like to do).

I don't think we're as hopeless as we can feel at times.

 

[Jared Landon]

Part of my problem is that my job involves extended periods away from home so it's difficult for me to get involved in any groups.

 

[Niclmaki]

Hmmm interesting. I also have the feeling of not truly belonging to any groups or fitting in. However, I have no problems being social or doing things with friends. I also have a few very close friends.

I’m not entirely sure what my issue is. I’ve just gotten around to seeing feelings as a thing to be experienced. It is not necessarily true to what the state of affairs is. I’m not sure if this is self deceiving to ignore a problem, or if the problem was created from nothing in the first place.

How’s that for some meta-meta-meta thinking, heh.

 

[Jared Landon]

I truely feel like I'll never find true friends. I'm not a weirdo, I can act like a normal guy and make chitchat but I always feel like I'm putting on a face and that I can't be real with anyone. I don't think I fit in anywhere. I'm too unconventional to make it in the regular crowds and too shy and introverted to make it in the fringe crowds. I've spent so much time looking for my kind of people and can't seem to find anyone. Sure there are people here and there online but I'm not into cyber friends. I want friends in the real world.

 

[Rift]

Having an almost non existent social life and love life is not an easy thing to share. It's not something I'm proud of but I don't want to hide who I am.

still a virgin.
Welcome to the club, amigo You have come to the right place.

is there a place for asocial sluts here?

 

[Jared Landon]

I'm not a virgin anymore but I was a late bloomer for sure. It took me a while to build up the courage and even then the girl had to take the lead. I've had a couple partners over the years but there were huge dry spells in between. I haven't had the kinds of experiences I wish I could have. I'm a very open and adventurous guy at hard but just don't have the confidence. I've spent a lot of time watching porn and fantasizing about the life I wish I had.