drmacchius
MD
I am a medical doctor of 32 years, with great interest for medical research (physiology, pathophysiology, experimental surgery) but with the dream since childhood to take care of clinical activity.
My psychological profile is almost identical to the one described here, http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html , with the exception that I'm not interested at all in photography.
In addition, in childhood I have had several injuries because my family has a lot of problems (my mother probably suffers from a personality disorder and my father is an introvert with a tendency to drown the existential distress in tobacco and alcohol).
For almost half my life I have dysthymia and had at least 5 episodes of major depression lasting at least 3 months ........ at least 3 of these episodes were related to frustration and the strong sense of misunderstandingin both school and university and in the workplace.
Psychological Traumas in childhood have made me a person extremely sensitive to the pain of people and probably the activity of assistance to the sick gives me even more satisfaction of scientific speculation. In fact I have felt for some time to be an INFP.
The only way I can find to explain my way of approaching the other is to repeat any part of the psychological profile of a fictional character, Michael Schonfield, star of Prison Break
Due to a feeling of abandonment and abuse during childhood, Michael has absolutely no sense of self-worth. [...] this has made him become very attuned to all the suffering around him. As a result of being unable to block out other people's suffering, he is extremely empathetic and altruistic towards other people's emotions; he is more concerned with other people's welfare than his own".
But I red that this character reflects the characteristics of the INTJ type.
My character can stop me from making a career in academia, although teaching hospitals are the only place where I can find a realization both personal and intellectual. This happens not because I can not deal with patients or do not have the ability to heal, but the simple fact that in competitive environments can not emerge, and in an area such as surgery, the competition more often means putting at risk patients' health.
I can not do the research that interests me because I need at least another 5-8 years of training for the U.S. Standard and 10-15 years for those in Europe, because without this training is impossible to have the expertise to do the work for which I studied all my life (cardiothoracic surgery) and the skills to be able to do applied research to humans.
I know I'm able to do this job better than the average fellow, my hands are still, my creativity allows me to find original solutions to extremely complex problems, my P and T allows me to provide most of the complication and my N allows me to understand the cause of unexplained problems. I know it well and I had repeatedly confirmed both in this work and in life. But understanding the problems and solve problems are two different things, especially when the problems they can not be resolve alone, but it must be done in groups, as in hospital medicine.
Several university professors and the best doctors I know have said the same thing.
I was able to understand clinical problems as simple student and young residents that only the most famous professors in Europe are risks to solve ......... but every time I could not make myself understood by my colleagues, my consultants or patients.
Even in the family happens to me the same thing.
Even in the family happens to me the same thing.
Just like school, I was the only one who invents a new solution to the problems of geometry when no one else we could with traditional methods, but despite this, my average results were mediocre.
2 times in two different hospitals my character took me to get sick because of bullying and mobbing, that are typical of clinical surgery. The economic crisis has made sure that even in Europe the quality of training has become a conquest and not a right, and know how to behave with colleagues and be understood by own superiors has become essential for anyone who wants to become my career.
My problem as a surgeon is not the concentration, character, technical or hands, but the competition between colleagues in an unfair system in which no one wants others to learn, in order to advance their own careers.
In addition, my difficulty in learning standards related to the simple routine makes it difficult for me to get myself noticed by my superiors, although they know that I understand the problems that they themselves are struggling to cope.
If I was an INTJ my life would be easier but I do not know whether I can change.
I ask you advice as to whether there is any connection with similar problems and especially for advice on how to develop my Se, Te, Fi ...... for me it is not enough to be able to solve problems, I need to learn to be more confident to force myself to others when I know I have probably right (and not only when I am sure to be right) and above all I have to learn to know myself looking around to see when someone fights against me in secret or simply when I am going to be totally misunderstood.
Furthermore, I can not remain detached when living with emotional conflicts with work colleagues or family.
My work is my life and I will not again see people die because I am not able to make it clear to colleagues that I am right!!!!!..............furthermore increased security would help me to avoid my depression applicant.
Help me !!!!!!!
My psychological profile is almost identical to the one described here, http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html , with the exception that I'm not interested at all in photography.
In addition, in childhood I have had several injuries because my family has a lot of problems (my mother probably suffers from a personality disorder and my father is an introvert with a tendency to drown the existential distress in tobacco and alcohol).
For almost half my life I have dysthymia and had at least 5 episodes of major depression lasting at least 3 months ........ at least 3 of these episodes were related to frustration and the strong sense of misunderstandingin both school and university and in the workplace.
Psychological Traumas in childhood have made me a person extremely sensitive to the pain of people and probably the activity of assistance to the sick gives me even more satisfaction of scientific speculation. In fact I have felt for some time to be an INFP.
The only way I can find to explain my way of approaching the other is to repeat any part of the psychological profile of a fictional character, Michael Schonfield, star of Prison Break
Due to a feeling of abandonment and abuse during childhood, Michael has absolutely no sense of self-worth. [...] this has made him become very attuned to all the suffering around him. As a result of being unable to block out other people's suffering, he is extremely empathetic and altruistic towards other people's emotions; he is more concerned with other people's welfare than his own".
But I red that this character reflects the characteristics of the INTJ type.
My character can stop me from making a career in academia, although teaching hospitals are the only place where I can find a realization both personal and intellectual. This happens not because I can not deal with patients or do not have the ability to heal, but the simple fact that in competitive environments can not emerge, and in an area such as surgery, the competition more often means putting at risk patients' health.
I can not do the research that interests me because I need at least another 5-8 years of training for the U.S. Standard and 10-15 years for those in Europe, because without this training is impossible to have the expertise to do the work for which I studied all my life (cardiothoracic surgery) and the skills to be able to do applied research to humans.
I know I'm able to do this job better than the average fellow, my hands are still, my creativity allows me to find original solutions to extremely complex problems, my P and T allows me to provide most of the complication and my N allows me to understand the cause of unexplained problems. I know it well and I had repeatedly confirmed both in this work and in life. But understanding the problems and solve problems are two different things, especially when the problems they can not be resolve alone, but it must be done in groups, as in hospital medicine.
Several university professors and the best doctors I know have said the same thing.
I was able to understand clinical problems as simple student and young residents that only the most famous professors in Europe are risks to solve ......... but every time I could not make myself understood by my colleagues, my consultants or patients.
Even in the family happens to me the same thing.
Even in the family happens to me the same thing.
Just like school, I was the only one who invents a new solution to the problems of geometry when no one else we could with traditional methods, but despite this, my average results were mediocre.
2 times in two different hospitals my character took me to get sick because of bullying and mobbing, that are typical of clinical surgery. The economic crisis has made sure that even in Europe the quality of training has become a conquest and not a right, and know how to behave with colleagues and be understood by own superiors has become essential for anyone who wants to become my career.
My problem as a surgeon is not the concentration, character, technical or hands, but the competition between colleagues in an unfair system in which no one wants others to learn, in order to advance their own careers.
In addition, my difficulty in learning standards related to the simple routine makes it difficult for me to get myself noticed by my superiors, although they know that I understand the problems that they themselves are struggling to cope.
If I was an INTJ my life would be easier but I do not know whether I can change.
I ask you advice as to whether there is any connection with similar problems and especially for advice on how to develop my Se, Te, Fi ...... for me it is not enough to be able to solve problems, I need to learn to be more confident to force myself to others when I know I have probably right (and not only when I am sure to be right) and above all I have to learn to know myself looking around to see when someone fights against me in secret or simply when I am going to be totally misunderstood.
Furthermore, I can not remain detached when living with emotional conflicts with work colleagues or family.
My work is my life and I will not again see people die because I am not able to make it clear to colleagues that I am right!!!!!..............furthermore increased security would help me to avoid my depression applicant.
Help me !!!!!!!
