How to have smooth intercation with MBTI-types for an INTP

[Tannhauser]

How about discussing how to have a smooth and pleasant interaction with each of the particular MBTI-types out there, from the perspective of an INTP specifically?

So let us bring together the social ingenuity and intellect we INTPs are famous for and see what we can come up with.

Im gonna start with the types which are, each in their own sense, the opposite of the INTP:

ESFP:
Never, ever try to talk about anything theoretical or anything even close to abstract. They will only become confused and quiet and try to come up with some practical interpretation of it. That, in turn, will make you annoyed and bored and the interaction will probably become very tiresome. Keep everything extremely practical and only provide superficial descriptions of your experiences and thoughts. Like "I went to this and that place, and it looked nice and the people were nice etc etc". The ESFP is usually greatly excited by this kind of stuff. And this has a nice bonus: the things you will be saying are so trivial that you can think about other things while you are having the conversation.

ESFJ:
I think this is a much more natural match, as the ESFJ has the same functional stack as the INTP, in exact reversed order. There is a theory out there of 'desire for completeness' or something like that, which seems to make the ESFJ kind of impressed with an INTP's intellect. They seem to have much higher tolerance, and interest for, abstraction and theory. They also seem to have a very similar way of looking at people -- usually very judgemental and attuned to other people's emotions. So a cynical chat about people or emotions usually works quite nicely.

 

[Jennywocky]

THis kind of pigeonholing is one reason why I'm not much into type anymore ,when it is used to limit and reduce interactions between people.

I've had relationships with ESFPs, for example, as adults; and one of my children is an ESFP. For the former, while I can't go full-philosophical/rational tilt, I sure don't have to avoid it. Just because people are a particular type doesn't mean they're incapable of handling anything outside their four letters. I tend to just give them some and see what they do with it, just as they offer me what they're good at and pull me a bit more out of myself -- just because I'm an IN (for example) doesn't mean I can't enjoy some extroverting activities nor have any consideration or understanding of sensory details [I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the small talk I make with my ISFJ mom, for a few hours, before I get restless].

Same way with my kid; when she was ten, yes, it was frustrating, because she was raw ESFP, but we've had some pretty insightful conversations now that she's almost twenty. We especially can intersect where philosophy and social ethics intersect; I haven't really had to hold back and she's perfectly capable of following and seeing the merit in my rational arguments and even contribute to a rational discussion, and I can learn from her in turn since she focuses on things I might gloss over.

I would suggest, while there might be some very broad differences between type, people are individuals and usually more moderate... capable of learning and using other approaches their most instinctive simply through the process of growing up. So don't write them off or limit your interactions on the basis of the theoretical.

 

[Alias]

ENFJ: Out of all EXFXs, they probably have the highest tolerance for deeper, more theoretical discussions, although I wouldn't rule out ENFP. From my experience, ENFJs love to listen to INTPs, as long as what you talk about doesn't get too nerdy and weird. Try to balance social things with theories and you're golden.

ESTP: This one's a bit harder. If you're not into any of the things they like (most likely sports or something), it'll be more challenging. To get off well with them try to just be normal, maybe even act like a bit of a "bro" to blend in.

Feel free to write more on these types.

 

[PmjPmj]

INTJ - skip to the end. Establish stance immediately; explain reasoning later... and keep it as brief as you can. Unless of course your INTJ isn't in a rush (unlikely).

INFJ - Business as usual. Feel free to elaborate at length.

 

[Tannhauser]

THis kind of pigeonholing is one reason why I'm not much into type anymore ,when it is used to limit and reduce interactions between people.

I've had relationships with ESFPs, for example, as adults; and one of my children is an ESFP. For the former, while I can't go full-philosophical/rational tilt, I sure don't have to avoid it. Just because people are a particular type doesn't mean they're incapable of handling anything outside their four letters. I tend to just give them some and see what they do with it, just as they offer me what they're good at and pull me a bit more out of myself -- just because I'm an IN (for example) doesn't mean I can't enjoy some extroverting activities nor have any consideration or understanding of sensory details [I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the small talk I make with my ISFJ mom, for a few hours, before I get restless].

Same way with my kid; when she was ten, yes, it was frustrating, because she was raw ESFP, but we've had some pretty insightful conversations now that she's almost twenty. We especially can intersect where philosophy and social ethics intersect; I haven't really had to hold back and she's perfectly capable of following and seeing the merit in my rational arguments and even contribute to a rational discussion, and I can learn from her in turn since she focuses on things I might gloss over.

I would suggest, while there might be some very broad differences between type, people are individuals and usually more moderate... capable of learning and using other approaches their most instinctive simply through the process of growing up. So don't write them off or limit your interactions on the basis of the theoretical.

When it comes to communication with people close to you, of course, you are not supposed to treat them as robots and reduce your communication with them to MBTI theory. But how does a better knowledge of their temperament and ways to enhance the interaction with them somehow make it reductive? In my experience, it only adds. For example, a person close to me is indeed an ESFP. Using the principle I outlined, although it contained some tounge-in-cheek insults, I have to say I have learned to take much more pleasure in interacting with that person.

 

[Brontosaurie]

any type: sit and be like "nah, it's cool" about the wrong things

 

[tommarkc]

INFJ - Business as usual. Feel free to elaborate at length.

Would be more for INFPs. The only thing they won't agree with are immoral things. Use them for interpretation of others, they will be nice instead saying the truth, so listen to their opinions carefully. They'll always try to please others.

INFJ- focus on a single thing at a time. Make a story, not a list of possibilities. Tell them what they're true about, and exactly what you dissagree with. Other things are the same as for INFPs.

ESFP- agree with Tannhauser, I'll add: try to talk a bit more, talk about practical things, their feelings, opinions and experiences. Ask things "what would happen, if you do this or that", but expect practical answers. Try to pick a topic you're actually interested in and you'll satisfy their F. I suggest asking them about other people, which gives you lots of people complexity to think about. Offering them a help when they need it will make good opinion on you. Stay practical and make them lead conversation and it might be enjoyable for both of you.

 

[PmjPmj]

Would be more for INFPs.

Yeah, I can see that. To be fair, the INFJ I had in mind whilst typing that is probably cut from a different cloth. He has an insatiable need to discuss esoteric matters (anything pertaining to occultism, mainly) to the point that even I have to tap out after a while. Perhaps it's a Ni-Ti thing. An endless circle of inner truth seeking.