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Hello everyone!

Antinomy

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 19:31
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Finland
I'm usually tremendously bad at writing introductions about myself, because not a single feature sounds abstract enough to be decent enough to describe me.
I am I (around 60 %), N (90 %), T (75 %), P (75 %) and also somewhat Turbulent.
I study theoretical philosophy in the university of Helsinki already for ages now. Yes, I have some strange studying and time management issues going on, but I'm learning from my ENTJ bf how to fix that.
My mother tested ISFP, I don't know about my father since they divorced when I was 1 yr old. Also, I'm an only child, and moved to another country when I was 4 years old. I learned the new language fast but nonetheless integrated a bit poorly because of my inexistent social skills, and I was rejected by other kids. So I developed social anxiety and by my early teens I developed quite extreme version of misanthropy. As a side effect I ended up somewhat goth, which I still am, but please don't think all goths are misanthropes or school shooters. I'm rejected even by most goths.
I never really targeted my anxiety and frustration at myself in a self loathing manner, as many people with anxiety do, but instead pointed it outwards. If you know something about psychological defence mechanisms, (which was my favourite subject in my teens) 'identification with aggressor' was something that happened to me.

I spent my teens submerging myself in art (being in art school), watching horror movies and listening to dark electronic music. I'm especially talented technically, drawing or painting something realistic, but sometimes I find hard time coming up with ideas, or when I get ideas it all gets stuck because I cannot choose between them (so typical INTP, huh?)
During art school I got more interested in philosophy and psychology and ended up studying philosophy in uni. My main interest is probably metaphysics.

Also I played piano and composed as a child and still am musical and interested in making electronic music. Unfortunately I never have time for any of that. Also I sometimes design and sew my own clothes. I like photography too, and I occasionally model as a hobby.
Before going to university I worked as a teacher's aid in elementary schools. That was part of my project in developing my social, rhetorical and authority skills, which don't come natural to me.

Ehem, I've been lately visiting doctor to see whether I have ADD or avoidant personality. It's a shame that although I've got talents and plenty of perfectionism I also somehow always screw it all up by procrastinating so much that I and up handing half unfinished mediocre work or not completing anything at all and feeling devastated afterwards, at least deep down, although I usually end up repressing all my negative emotions and pretend nothing is too devastating for me.

I sometimes wondered if I'm actually INTJ, due to my misanthropic past, but no, there is no chance. Anyway, I've developed into so much warmer and more open-minded person by my adult age and now I'm somewhere between 25 and 30. I'm most attracted to INTJs and ENTPs, along with other INTPs.

I'm also a person who loves to make lists, study languages (I know Russian, Finnish, Spanish, some German), and write long texts. I've got plenty self-irony as you might notice. Sometimes I wonder if I am or were a covert narcissist. Yet at the same time I'm way too realistic to fail to see just how all my laziness and messed-upness prevents me from being somekind of an ubermensch. :D I probably also tend to fall for narcissists, although I'd rather not. :D
And yes, I'm a cat person.
 

The Grey Man

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 11:31
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
633
Location
Canada
Hello, Antinomy.
 

Looker

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 19:31
Joined
Aug 5, 2019
Messages
3
Welcome, fellow Finn!

Funny, I could just copy your message and use it as my own >.< I suppose it's normal here tho.
 
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