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Guess what this is

Local time
Today, 18:22
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
51
Location
Maastricht, Netherlands
#1
Hi, (so polite huh)

I'm a 25 year old dutch guy, and I'm most probably an INTP (sometimes I score INTP, sometimes INTJ, so I guess I'm a bit in between).

The reason for me to sign up here is a life long quest for recognition, and that quest lead me here I guess. Through this website by the way http://intpexperience.com/
You guys know it I assume? The articles quite hit home for me, and I started to realize - or should I said theorize / hypothesize - that maybe my problem with finding recognition and similarities in people is not related to the other things I thought before (autism (no, I'm not diagnosed), giftedness, blabla) but just to my personality disposition.
So I suppose I came here mostly to share my experiences and even more so read others' experiences and hopefully learn from them to become a little more happy (with myself) :)
Like the descriptions on the website above say; I try many times to connect with others, and sometimes I think I do. Then I find something that doesn't connect, and I lose my interest. In a way they have to match me perfectly. I do at the same time really require the social contact. I'm not the INTP kind that likes to walk the earth alone (I even doubt these exist).
 

Adaire

Hurdurr da aDministruturr.
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Today, 09:22
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
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#2
Like the descriptions on the website above say; I try many times to connect with others, and sometimes I think I do. Then I find something that doesn't connect, and I lose my interest. In a way they have to match me perfectly. I do at the same time really require the social contact. I'm not the INTP kind that likes to walk the earth alone (I even doubt these exist).
It feels a bit like betrayal or willful deceit does it not? When you connect with a person on a deep level only to inevitably realize that you're fundamentally different creatures that were merely misunderstanding each other the entire time. An illusion of kinship; a closeness born from superficiality and wishful thinking. It has happened to me often enough that I weary of it. It's only nice for a short time.

I find it's easier and more informative to deal with conflicting personalities (rl). You have to accept them as wholly alien minds. Nothing ever clicks, but a certain distant and protective affection can still grow in such circumstances. Sometimes you'll find yourself relating to them on unexpected things (the inverse of the above) and that yields positive feelings and renewed interest. It's far from perfect though. Inevitably I gain a detailed understanding of the other party, while they understand very little of me or my motivations. They become severely agitated if they ever notice and I've yet to devise the perfect way to remedy this.

I figure I'm too strange to have a pre-existing mindmate, and my personality is too closed and independent to transform someone else into it.

(Un?)Fortunately, you don't really need to relate to a person to attach to them.
Attachment is not born of conscious will.



Anyway, I hope the tangent wasn't too insufferable.
Greetings and welcome to the Dark Castle.
:cool:
 
Local time
Today, 11:22
Joined
Dec 19, 2008
Messages
5,948
Location
Oklahoma
#3
Welcome!

It is odd, that one can encounter various and sundry reflective surfaces that offer a warped or incomplete image of self mirrored, but none that offer the entire picture in HD.

It is very much like an elephant, dependent upon a bunch of dirty old blind men fondling its different parts, for a basis for elephantine self-esteem.

:elephant:
:oldman::oldman::oldman:
 

SpaceYeti

Prolific Member
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Crap
#4
I've always hated the blind men and elephant analogy. It's patently silly for at least one reason; All the blind men feel a part of the elephant, which means they did not continue to feel after they felt that the elephant continued to go past where they were feeling. They got lazy, and did not actually investigate the situation properly. All three of them are assholes.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
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Today, 05:22
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
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#5
It is very much like an elephant, dependent upon a bunch of dirty old blind men fondling its different parts, for a basis for elephantine self-esteem.
Lol.

Like the descriptions on the website above say; I try many times to connect with others, and sometimes I think I do. Then I find something that doesn't connect, and I lose my interest. In a way they have to match me perfectly. I do at the same time really require the social contact. I'm not the INTP kind that likes to walk the earth alone (I even doubt these exist).
There are no effortless social arrangements, even between children and their parents who naturally have an innate connection the relationship can be strained if both parent and child don't look after it. My father called me recently, because I haven't contacted him at all since Christmas, and he's telling me about nightmares he has about me getting hit by a car or something, worry induced nightmares no doubt, still I don't feel the need to contact him regularly because he's never been a regular part of my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUwjNBjqR-c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So of course with people who aren't biologically hardwired to associate with each other if they don't put effort into the relationship it dies, which may not happen as quickly between INTPs because we already keep so few close associates and our abstract way of thinking makes it harder for us to get lonely, but still it happens.

It feels a bit like betrayal or willful deceit does it not? When you connect with a person on a deep level only to inevitably realize that you're fundamentally different creatures that were merely misunderstanding each other the entire time. An illusion of kinship; a closeness born from superficiality and wishful thinking. It has happened to me often enough that I weary of it. It's only nice for a short time.
INTPs have this fascinating ability to make abstract models of people, for example I often know what @Da Blob's posts are going to be before I read them, because I've intensely studied thoughts/opinions/perspective so even if I'm alone & offline it feels like I can have a conversation with him, he's effectively one of the voices in my head.

Ditto with @Adaire, but to a lesser extent, as if the model is aware that the real Adaire doesn't like being psychoanalyzed so it hates being a model in my head, whereas I love being psychoanalyzed so at a guess I've got a voice in many people's heads :D except I psychoanalyze myself a lot so my convoluted mind may be a bit unpredictable.
 

snafupants

Prolific Member
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#6
Hi, (so polite huh)

I'm a 25 year old dutch guy, and I'm most probably an INTP (sometimes I score INTP, sometimes INTJ, so I guess I'm a bit in between).
Equivalent: Sometimes I use the women's bathroom, sometimes the men's, so I guess I'm a bit in between. Maybe you are in between though. :D
 
Local time
Today, 11:22
Joined
Dec 19, 2008
Messages
5,948
Location
Oklahoma
#7
The elegant solution to the problem of edifying human relationships is this.

The more Time Spent Together indulging in mutually pleasurable activities, the better the relationship.

It is amazing how many people expect a relationship to be close or strong, when there has been very little pleasurable time invested in that relationship.
 
Local time
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Joined
Jan 8, 2010
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Location
New York City (The Big Apple) & State
#9
I've always hated the blind men and elephant analogy.
How deep does your hatred go SpaceYeti?
It's patently silly for at least one reason; All the blind men feel a part of the elephant, which means they did not continue to feel after they felt that the elephant continued to go past where they were feeling. They got lazy, and did not actually investigate the situation properly.
You must be right. No self-respecting INTP would quit there. They must have been xSxJ's.

All three of them are assholes.
I think you have stumbled on the truth. They did go past and when they encountered that, the experience overpowered the blind men and they quit.
 

SpaceYeti

Prolific Member
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#10
How deep does your hatred go SpaceYeti?
I'd say about six inches.

You must be right. No self-respecting INTP would quit there. They must have been xSxJ's.
I doubt that, too. SJs may only feel some of the parts, but they wouldn't jump to the conclusion that those parts exemplify the entire entity.

I think you have stumbled on the truth. They did go past and when they encountered that, the experience overpowered the blind men and they quit.
So they decided to fight amongst themselves over qualities they know they don't have any information about. Assholes.
 
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