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Goal in Life: Get chill job, grow a beard, chill all day

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#1
So, I recently graduated from college. Big whoop!

Decided I want to work a really chill job, preferably one where I can grow a beard, and travel the land in a Subaru while going on adventures. I don't really have any ambition to get a high-stress job, nor do I really want to work in the corporate world. Anyone else in a similar situation?
 

Absurdity

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#4
Marijuana farmer.

EDIT: Oops thought you were looking for recommendations. I am in a similar situation (graduate in ~1 year). Probably going to go into filmmaking because of family connections. A chill job is what I seek, but what I probably will not find.
 

redbaron

consummate salt-extraction specialist
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#5
Do stand-up.
 
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#6
Marijuana farmer.

EDIT: Oops thought you were looking for recommendations. I am in a similar situation (graduate in ~1 year). Probably going to go into filmmaking because of family connections. A chill job is what I seek, but what I probably will not find.
My neighbor down the hall grew mushrooms, one of my better friends was a major drug dealer, and a guy I knew traveled to Humboldt to be a hired hand for marijuana farmers.

None of them really made a lot of profit, but maybe they weren't doing it right. Anyway, I want something legal :) Like gigolo
 
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#8
I have a chill job. I tutor in math, its ridiculously easy but doesn't pay the bills. The most I ever got was $25 an hour :\ I'm going to probably get a chill government job, then relax and play Skyrim all day.
 

snafupants

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#9
I have a chill job. I tutor in math, its ridiculously easy but doesn't pay the bills. The most I ever got was $25 an hour :\ I'm going to probably get a chill government job, then relax and play Skyrim all day.
God mess America. :D
 

Dapper Dan

Did zat sting?
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#10
If by "chill job" you mean "a job with cool people" then I agree. If you mean "a job where I can just sit around all day" then I couldn't disagree more. Meaningless jobs are soul-destroying.
 

GREYGREY

Interested Party
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#12
Take a cue from the movie Gandmas boy
Look into game design or game testing.
In a perfect world that's what I'd do.
But as has ben said.
Chill vs Money
 

pjoa09

dopaminergic
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#13
Subarus aren't chill. Get a Yaris or whatever.
Subarus are notoriously reliable.

Yaris is a death trap. Very little crush area.


What is OP's major anyways. That should be the major factor in the first place.
 

Solitaire U.

Last of the V-8 Interceptors
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#15
I had a Subaru once. It backfired when it was cold. We called it "The Toaster". It got squished while parked in front of our house at 3AM by a drunk hillbilly driving a lifted Chevy 4x4 Pickup.

I had a beard once (actually, many more times than once). It itched, and food got stuck in it. It clogged up the sink when I shaved it off.

I had a really chill job once. It was called "Grow a beard, let the squished Subaru get impounded by the Long Beach Police Department, sell/snort methamphetamine, and stay up for 8 day stretches alternating between Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 and internet porn. It was fun while it lasted, I guess, but I had to quit as there was simply no future in it.

But I know where you're coming from. Fuck the major, fuck greeting the morning with cold steel on your face, fuck the corporate world, and fuck drunk hillbillies in lifted 4x4 pickups.

Sounds like The Peace Corp might suit you, or get a gig teaching English to destitute schoolkids in Ecuador. The latter worked for me.
 
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#16
I had a Subaru once. It backfired when it was cold. We called it "The Toaster". It got squished while parked in front of our house at 3AM by a drunk hillbilly driving a lifted Chevy 4x4 Pickup.

I had a beard once (actually, many more times than once). It itched, and food got stuck in it. It clogged up the sink when I shaved it off.

I had a really chill job once. It was called "Grow a beard, let the squished Subaru get impounded by the Long Beach Police Department, sell/snort methamphetamine, and stay up for 8 day stretches alternating between Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 and internet porn. It was fun while it lasted, I guess, but I had to quit as there was simply no future in it.

But I know where you're coming from. Fuck the major, fuck greeting the morning with cold steel on your face, fuck the corporate world, and fuck drunk hillbillies in lifted 4x4 pickups.

Sounds like The Peace Corp might suit you, or get a gig teaching English to destitute schoolkids in Ecuador. The latter worked for me.
LOL. :eek:
 
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#17
I had a Subaru once. It backfired when it was cold. We called it "The Toaster". It got squished while parked in front of our house at 3AM by a drunk hillbilly driving a lifted Chevy 4x4 Pickup.

I had a beard once (actually, many more times than once). It itched, and food got stuck in it. It clogged up the sink when I shaved it off.

I had a really chill job once. It was called "Grow a beard, let the squished Subaru get impounded by the Long Beach Police Department, sell/snort methamphetamine, and stay up for 8 day stretches alternating between Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 and internet porn. It was fun while it lasted, I guess, but I had to quit as there was simply no future in it.

But I know where you're coming from. Fuck the major, fuck greeting the morning with cold steel on your face, fuck the corporate world, and fuck drunk hillbillies in lifted 4x4 pickups.

Sounds like The Peace Corp might suit you, or get a gig teaching English to destitute schoolkids in Ecuador. The latter worked for me.

Rofl!

My major was math, I'm probably going to apply to the IRS and be the chillest auditor ever. People will welcome me into their homes with open arms and bottles of champagne :)

Probably can't have a beard though :( sadness.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
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#19
Find a company that doesn't need tech support, convince them they do, get hired, then do the bare minimum to justify you existence and if anyone asks what it is you actually do just baffle them with technobabble bullshit.

If you ever need more money, create problems, fix them, then explain to your boss exactly why it is absolutely imperative that you be on call 24/7, which of course means you need to be paid more as well.
 
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#20
You'll still have to do your job.

"Hey man, you didn't pay your taxes"

"I know, I know... I'll get the money next week"

"Okay..."

Now, if you wanna do your job right, change "Okay..." to "*takes a fireaxe out of his backpack* Are you sure about that?", he says calmly with a psycho grin on his face."
"Okay :) I see here under misc. Expenses you have strip bar visits. Did you take clients with you?"

"No"

"I heard yes, so I'm just going to let you write that off"
 
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#22
An ESFP who I knew has this attitude - life is about chilling with friends. I guess your part is without friends, but the general idea is the same anyway.

When I was in a good mood and told him some of my thoughts, one of them being that I don't see the world as a place to just do nothing. I think it was this moment when he started turning on me, because he disliked my attitude towards the world. :D
 
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#23
I thought I was getting into the art field in order to avoid stress. hahaha yeah right! I've got he most stressful job that exists besides working in the ER. Deadlines are crazy tight, and if you miss one, you're fired. You've gotta be on your toes and put in your all everyday all day. However, I feel accomplished and I grow non-stop. So it's worth it to me.

You could always try being a monk. That would be a seriously chill job. No more sex or talking though.
 
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#24
I thought I was getting into the art field in order to avoid stress. hahaha yeah right! I've got he most stressful job that exists besides working in the ER. Deadlines are crazy tight, and if you miss one, you're fired. You've gotta be on your toes and put in your all everyday all day. However, I feel accomplished and I grow non-stop. So it's worth it to me.

You could always try being a monk. That would be a seriously chill job. No more sex or talking though.
:[ Bob Ross made me think art was just making happy accidents.
Oh! Not my sex! Anything but that.
 

Absurdity

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#25
My neighbor down the hall grew mushrooms, one of my better friends was a major drug dealer, and a guy I knew traveled to Humboldt to be a hired hand for marijuana farmers.

None of them really made a lot of profit, but maybe they weren't doing it right. Anyway, I want something legal :) Like gigolo
Growing marijuana in California is sort of kind of legal.
 
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#26
Growing marijuana in California is sort of kind of legal.
Yeah, I used to work at a medical dispensary. They eventually got shut down by the county, just like all the others in my area. It's technically legal, but local cops don't hesitate to arrest for it anyway.
 

pjoa09

dopaminergic
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#28
Rofl!

My major was math, I'm probably going to apply to the IRS and be the chillest auditor ever. People will welcome me into their homes with open arms and bottles of champagne :)

Probably can't have a beard though :( sadness.
Damn. Math.

Beards are only the result of ignoring a scruffy beard and then realizing that it has grown too large for you to shave it easily and you continue to ignore it.
 

snafupants

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#29
It's money or chill. Choose.
Maybe initially but one could create a nest egg and subsequently live frugally. Forget the kids, the ostentatious apartment, and the Porsche. Retiring at age thirty sounds pretty good. :smoker:

Life shouldn't be about work. I view work as a servile means to an end.
 
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