I'm still monitoring the thread until I can be replaced, I know the silence screws everyone over. Sorry.
Yes, my enthusiasm of off-game stuff on INTPf filtered into play yesterday, especially with trying on different styles and determining what worked for me. Everyone's got their own way to play; I needed to find mine; I was trying to sound cool and edgy, but... face it, I'm not, really. So back to me.
I wrote something up awhile ago but didn't post because it all seems so redundant. I'm locked in WIFOM loops -- there are levels of complexity I didn't anticipate (n00b!). Obscurity of any kind creates a mystery; honest remarks aren't taken at face value; everything is suspect. I usually overthink, and then by the time I'm reading to post, the conversation has gone elsewhere or someone posts what I wanted to say so now it just sounds like I'm aping them, which is frustrating.
I'll post them anyway:
- I distrust personas, they come across as type of spin. Probably why Hado always feels a bit scummy. His advice seems
generally reliable, it's the domineering tone that makes me leery. He feels like he's always acting a role even if the content is good.
- Same thing with experienced players. Can't tell whether they're being straightforward or spinning me. Gopher seems really Town to me (he's typically pretty balanced, casual, seems fair for much of his questions), but he's also a good enough player that I have to wonder if I am being had... Paranoia = don't trust anyone. But he hasn't really made any missteps I can see.
- Lurkers. I don't know wth Bronto has been doing. Why increase (versus allay) suspicion? Then again, this is typical Bronto...
- Playing shit town to have fun. Yeah, it might be fun, but why unnecessarily increase suspicion? Overall, I think PMJ was just screwing off and then buckled down. (See below.)
- It's funny how Hel scans as town but has contributed so little content. It's like a mind in a room observing and piecing together things -- information goes in, but it doesn't come out again. And always, "oh, I'll be back far later." It could be nothing. It could be everything.
- Odds of Zerk drawing the same straw twice seems a bit low, but mostly her input was tossing out votes without basis until sometime this morning, which was suspicious. Her explanation is possible but still rather convoluted. Did she finally decide to come out with an explanation because she was called out? Or maybe she's just still learning.
- Urk also had that whole convoluted mess yesterday that was as confusing as hell to read, even though he seems more on the level today. Which Urk can I trust?
The others are in that vague "ehhhhh" where I don't feel like I have enough yet from them.
All this was knocking around in my head, and then PMJ came right out and said it this morning:
Let’s cut the bullshit here, look at things objectively - nobody knows a damn thing at the moment, and that will not change until someone hangs and their role is subsequently revealed. Thus, these exchanges are nought but hot air and a lot of noise, but no real substance. For all I know, mafia players could be riffing off one another to create the illusion of conflict.
Yeah. Exactly. It's all words. I was sitting here looking at all this, and that's why it's a real pain in the ass for me to sort out and why I'm feeling discombobulated right now -- it's all words with no reliable foundation to evaluate. Until something gets anchored (i.e., once people start getting removed and hard data exposed), you can't trust anything; it's all total speculation.
Which ends up being pretty frustrating, because my natural bent is to want to cut through all that, but it's how the game is played.