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AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#1
I’ve lost my will of life, my skills I don’t have any energy to do anything and I’m turning 18 soon and I want to move out of my parents house but it will be way slower than I wanted and hoped. I’m pitiful of myself I’ve lost my used of trying to be smart. My ego was represented through my intelligence and through the amount of people that would tell me I’m genius even those of my own age and now I don’t even go to school anymore I dropped out, I was tending som community college but I got distracted by my job. The thing that crushed my ego a while ago was from this girl I like very much two years ago that fucked my friend at my house without communicating to me and we were flirting for a while and I think she liked me a lot and was mad that I never did anything about it being stuck in the same “frozen” state I am at right now
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
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Messages
73
#2
We were really close and I know we had a special connection but I never did anything about it. I fucked up several times in this upcoming relationship then she fucked up the last time and we split. Now instead of ever accomplishing everything I’m stuck in my rut. Probably my Si Ti rut but there isn’t anything I want to do about it and I am probably depressed, well I’m always depressed but that’s not new
 

Pyropyro

Magos Biologis
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Messages
4,050
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Philippines
#3
Which would you prefer to talk about: the girl or the lack of use (for trying to be smart)?
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
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Joined
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Messages
7,963
#4
I'm 28, to me 18 was a lifetime ago.

At 18 you think you're so worldly but you've only really had a mind for the past 6 years and most of that time you've been up to your eyeballs in hormones.

Chill out, don't worry, just focus on getting the best job you can because once you've got money coming in you'll have freedom and independence and it'll be as if the entire world has changed. Now is not the best or most important time of your life, it's the most difficult and tumultuous, being a teenager sucks and it gets worse before it gets better.
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#5
Im not sure
Which would you prefer to talk about: the girl or the lack of use (for trying to be smart)?
I’m not sure they are awfully interrelated by how much the girl destroyed my will
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
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Messages
73
#6
I'm 28, to me 18 was a lifetime ago.

At 18 you think you're so worldly but you've only really had a mind for the past 6 years and most of that time you've been up to your eyeballs in hormones.

Chill out, don't worry, just focus on getting the best job you can because once you've got money coming in you'll have freedom and independence and it'll be as if the entire world has changed. Now is not the best or most important time of your life, it's the most difficult and tumultuous, being a teenager sucks and it gets worse before it gets better.
Well I already have a job or had for the matter but I’ve probably either got fired or they thought I quit so that is the most significant current problem with the most weight. Part of what I have to do right now is convince my father to let me take these next few weeks before it is my birthday to study up on drivers ed course cause I already have a car and chill my mind to prospect for new opportunities. To get on with things. That’s what I’m most stressed about. Also my current living environment is toxic and my parents don’t treat me with enough respect in their wording, their sound like pitiful douchebags and don’t realize how stupid they sound half the time. I think they are partially getting Alzheimer’s too but it make it hard for them to read me if I never exploit my personality anymore. If I come to think of it now i am one of the most detached people people know. And I have many intuitions I’m scared to follow through of and I am awfully too comfortable in the position I am at rn which is merely playing video games and sleeping but soon the force of nature will call upon me and I will have to move with it or get left behind and the further back you get the harder it is to catch up
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
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Messages
73
#7
I’m a drug attic too an the only times I find myself as a person is when I’m in drugs. And it’s funny because every different drug I take unlocks a side of my personality that has further been lost and forgetten. And my key to getting back to normal is creating self inflicted euphoria’s while being in society to reattach who I am as a person and to be myself. But usually I have to do something disorderly or different in society to ever feel the same. Like being the only person to get up and help someone when they need it, or even steal something from sophisticatedly messed up system from a store and I have no clue what road I’m going to take but I don’t want it to be stereotypical in any form
 

Pyropyro

Magos Biologis
Local time
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Joined
Feb 3, 2012
Messages
4,050
Location
Philippines
#8
Im not sure


I’m not sure they are awfully interrelated by how much the girl destroyed my will
I agree with the interrelation, we just need a place to start. Let's go with the girl then.
You told us here that you are a detached person and that this girl is a special connection. Can I ask if you have several people with special connections with as opposed to just one girl?
 
Local time
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Joined
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Messages
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Location
subjective
#10
Stop the drugs.
Do exercises.
Your will is zapped, go to the center of it, where you feel it, close your eyes, sit in a chair, think or your ultimate goal something 20 years from now. Think hard, what happens 10 years the 20 years from now. What was it like 10 years ago compared to now. What was different. Computers? TV? Internet? Currently, you can take it slow, you need to build your will back up and that means goals and natural nonharmful energy increase. Drink lots of non-fluorinated water. Keep focusing on that center and all the emotions in there.
 
Local time
Today, 08:26
Joined
May 28, 2018
Messages
30
#11
I’ve lost my will of life, my skills I don’t have any energy to do anything and I’m turning 18 soon and I want to move out of my parents house but it will be way slower than I wanted and hoped. I’m pitiful of myself I’ve lost my used of trying to be smart. My ego was represented through my intelligence and through the amount of people that would tell me I’m genius even those of my own age and now I don’t even go to school anymore I dropped out, I was tending som community college but I got distracted by my job. The thing that crushed my ego a while ago was from this girl I like very much two years ago that fucked my friend at my house without communicating to me and we were flirting for a while and I think she liked me a lot and was mad that I never did anything about it being stuck in the same “frozen” state I am at right now
Get over the girl, have a goal and vision of where you want to be and make it happen.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
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Joined
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Messages
7,963
#12
Ok lets break this down.

Well I already have a job or had for the matter but I’ve probably either got fired or they thought I quit so that is the most significant current problem with the most weight.
Yup that's a problem, lets not sugarcoat this if you can't hold down a job (or fend for yourself in the wild) then you're a dependent, you would be a child except you're too old to qualify as a child so you're a man-baby.

Do you want independence, respect, the love of a woman?
The fact of the matter is that you will have NONE of these things until you can feed yourself, and buying food with money your parents gave you doesn't count.

Part of what I have to do right now is convince my father to let me take these next few weeks before it is my birthday to study up on drivers ed course cause I already have a car and chill my mind to prospect for new opportunities. To get on with things. That’s what I’m most stressed about. Also my current living environment is toxic and my parents don’t treat me with enough respect
Man-babies get no respect, if you don't have a job how are you paying for fuel, maintenance and registration? Did someone give you that car, are you being given money for these things, why should anyone respect you?

A car is a luxury, you can get anywhere you need to go by public transport it's just not as convenient and you might say it costs more to use public transport, it doesn't. I've seen losers like you keeping some old shitbox working just well enough to keep rolling and it may only cost them money occasionally (or begging their parents) but it adds up.

Also my current living environment is toxic and my parents don’t treat me with enough respect in their wording, their sound like pitiful douchebags and don’t realize how stupid they sound half the time. I think they are partially getting Alzheimer’s too but it make it hard for them to read me if I never exploit my personality anymore.
Your writing is extremely incoherent, they're not pitiful douchebags they're your parents and I wager they've got their lives more under control than you do, how about you grow up and show them some respect? By the sound of it you need all the help you can get and they're the only people who are going to help you.

And I have many intuitions I’m scared to follow through of and I am awfully too comfortable in the position I am at rn which is merely playing video games and sleeping but soon the force of nature will call upon me and I will have to move with it or get left behind and the further back you get the harder it is to catch up
Honesty is good, mate if you get your drug problem under control and your life back on track then I will respect you and it won't just be me either, everyone's got problems and when you get your shit in order others will see that and they'll be drawn to you. Granted they'll mostly be scum looking to leech of you but that's better than nothing and as you become a better person better people will come into your life, then you'll get the independence, respect and love you want.
 
Local time
Tomorrow, 03:26
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
1,194
Location
Shallow grave
#13
I'm 28, to me 18 was a lifetime ago.

At 18 you think you're so worldly but you've only really had a mind for the past 6 years and most of that time you've been up to your eyeballs in hormones.

Chill out, don't worry, just focus on getting the best job you can because once you've got money coming in you'll have freedom and independence and it'll be as if the entire world has changed. Now is not the best or most important time of your life, it's the most difficult and tumultuous, being a teenager sucks and it gets worse before it gets better.
Just want to throw this out there. I’m Cog’s age, and the advice Cog posted is fairly close to the advice I’m given from those a decade my senior (35-45s).

——————

You’ve got a long way to go, kiddo. It gets better, don’t worry. You’ll overcome these problems, and new ones will take their place. Try to take a step back and see the forest for the trees. Hopefully, you may see that you’re on a journey, and that this is part of it, and learn to cherish the hard times alongside the good. That’ll be your first major step towards wisdom. Being smart is useless without wisdom, and wisdom is something you get from fucking up. It’s all part of the process.

This will probably be your first of a number of heartbreaks, and first of a number of screwups in whatever your life journey is. Breathe it in, enjoy it. In a year it’ll mean nothing anyway. In a couple of years, nobody will even care that you dropped out of school.

Just try to treat your future self right. Make decisions that you think your future self will be proud of, and keep moving forward. Above all, give yourself the freedom to make mistakes, but don’t make the same mistake twice.

Good luck, kiddo!
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#14
6 years is generous
Yea but I still remember my conscious thought from my first birthday party and the first time I comprehended a rhyme when I was in kindergarten. My conscious thought is like a book I’ve always been working on
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#15
I agree with the interrelation, we just need a place to start. Let's go with the girl then.
You told us here that you are a detached person and that this girl is a special connection. Can I ask if you have several people with special connections with as opposed to just one girl?
I don’t have a connection with anybody now, and those I do are only partial
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#16
I don’t have a connection with anybody now, and those I do are only partial
I have a special connection with only one person and they live very far away. I guess I only find myself to be connected with one person at a time
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#17
My em
Stop the drugs.
Do exercises.
Your will is zapped, go to the center of it, where you feel it, close your eyes, sit in a chair, think or your ultimate goal something 20 years from now. Think hard, what happens 10 years the 20 years from now. What was it like 10 years ago compared to now. What was different. Computers? TV? Internet? Currently, you can take it slow, you need to build your will back up and that means goals and natural nonharmful energy increase. Drink lots of non-fluorinated water. Keep focusing on that center and all the emotions in there.
My emotions is what’s the most detached. I could sit there and cry whenever I want but I keep it buried way too deep. I hate my emotions they are almost scary
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#18
My em

My emotions is what’s the most detached. I could sit there and cry whenever I want but I keep it buried way too deep. I hate my emotions they are almost scary
I can contemplate what I want in the next 20 or ten years, but I can ever live in the moment
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#19
Ok lets break this down.


Yup that's a problem, lets not sugarcoat this if you can't hold down a job (or fend for yourself in the wild) then you're a dependent, you would be a child except you're too old to qualify as a child so you're a man-baby.

Do you want independence, respect, the love of a woman?
The fact of the matter is that you will have NONE of these things until you can feed yourself, and buying food with money your parents gave you doesn't count.


Man-babies get no respect, if you don't have a job how are you paying for fuel, maintenance and registration? Did someone give you that car, are you being given money for these things, why should anyone respect you?

A car is a luxury, you can get anywhere you need to go by public transport it's just not as convenient and you might say it costs more to use public transport, it doesn't. I've seen losers like you keeping some old shitbox working just well enough to keep rolling and it may only cost them money occasionally (or begging their parents) but it adds up.


Your writing is extremely incoherent, they're not pitiful douchebags they're your parents and I wager they've got their lives more under control than you do, how about you grow up and show them some respect? By the sound of it you need all the help you can get and they're the only people who are going to help you.


Honesty is good, mate if you get your drug problem under control and your life back on track then I will respect you and it won't just be me either, everyone's got problems and when you get your shit in order others will see that and they'll be drawn to you. Granted they'll mostly be scum looking to leech of you but that's better than nothing and as you become a better person better people will come into your life, then you'll get the independence, respect and love you want.
I had my first job for a while and what I am trying to do is stop living off my parents. That’s why I am saying all this. They’ve respected me and they still do but if they aren’t giving me advice on how to promote my goals and keep piling all the bad things I’ve done in the past their word isn’t good to me. I’m already cool with them and I’ve been but my primary goal is to get a different job with the use of a car and keep a steady enough job to live in an apartment. Your man-baby terms is not new to me I live to never fall into that path. My brother already did for the longest time and stayed with my parents for three years after he turned 18. I’m not even 18 yet and I’ve already settled my drug addiction I haven’t spent a dime on drugs over the last 3 weeks which feels really good. What makes me struggle is not having a person on the road with me that I respect anymore and nor do I trust a single person anymore
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
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Messages
73
#20
I had my first job for a while and what I am trying to do is stop living off my parents. That’s why I am saying all this. They’ve respected me and they still do but if they aren’t giving me advice on how to promote my goals and keep piling all the bad things I’ve done in the past their word isn’t good to me. I’m already cool with them and I’ve been but my primary goal is to get a different job with the use of a car and keep a steady enough job to live in an apartment. Your man-baby terms is not new to me I live to never fall into that path. My brother already did for the longest time and stayed with my parents for three years after he turned 18. I’m not even 18 yet and I’ve already settled my drug addiction I haven’t spent a dime on drugs over the last 3 weeks which feels really good. What makes me struggle is not having a person on the road with me that I respect anymore and nor do I trust a single person anymore
And my mother is a stay at home mom that smokes a lot of weed all the time and they are probably getting Alzheimer’s soon which sucks but I don’t want to let that bring me down and it’s for those reasons hat they don’t think about what they word with me and lately they have been calming it down and realizing what I’ve been doing but it’s not going to that long until we fight again

And with what you said to people being drawn to me when I have my shit in order, I hate accomplishing those things that gets that attention and it sometimes kills my will to want to stand out
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
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Joined
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Messages
73
#21
And my mother is a stay at home mom that smokes a lot of weed all the time and they are probably getting Alzheimer’s soon which sucks but I don’t want to let that bring me down and it’s for those reasons hat they don’t think about what they word with me and lately they have been calming it down and realizing what I’ve been doing but it’s not going to that long until we fight again

And with what you said to people being drawn to me when I have my shit in order, I hate accomplishing those things that gets that attention and it sometimes kills my will to want to stand out
Which will make me a sheep like them and I do not want to become anything like that ever
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#22
Which will make me a sheep like them and I do not want to become anything like that ever
And I’ve seen the the other side of how cruel this world can be. I don’t have soft skin to this environment. The problem is my parents and you don’t know me so don’t stereotype me as a petty teenager that is used to things getting handed to him. I’ve worked my own way out of really bad problems and I’ve studied the nature of how society works off eachother. The last thing I want from myself is to stay a leech. I would rather kill myself than become like that
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#23
Well yes I will never make the same mistake of letting my heart get broken again.
Just want to throw this out there. I’m Cog’s age, and the advice Cog posted is fairly close to the advice I’m given from those a decade my senior (35-45s).

——————

You’ve got a long way to go, kiddo. It gets better, don’t worry. You’ll overcome these problems, and new ones will take their place. Try to take a step back and see the forest for the trees. Hopefully, you may see that you’re on a journey, and that this is part of it, and learn to cherish the hard times alongside the good. That’ll be your first major step towards wisdom. Being smart is useless without wisdom, and wisdom is something you get from fucking up. It’s all part of the process.

This will probably be your first of a number of heartbreaks, and first of a number of screwups in whatever your life journey is. Breathe it in, enjoy it. In a year it’ll mean nothing anyway. In a couple of years, nobody will even care that you dropped out of school.

Just try to treat your future self right. Make decisions that you think your future self will be proud of, and keep moving forward. Above all, give yourself the freedom to make mistakes, but don’t make the same mistake twice.

Good luck, kiddo!
Yes I will never make the mistake of letting my heart get broken again. That is to significant of a matter to me and I’ve re-contemplated everything that happened many many times. I was stuck thinking about it for a good 8 months and I will be able to detect the second I start falling in love again. I have this thing where I either move really fast or really slow, as in the amount of goals I accomplish and I’m just getting ready to get done the next set of goals I need to get done and I want to do it perfectly. And I don’t think sheer materialist intelligence matter at all, only wisdom. I girl told me I was wise last week over Snapchat and seeing something coming before it happens is everything in this life. However when I’m very apathetic I know I’m ignoring my emotions and animekitty is right on this part that exercise is good because it helps your body become self aware and you body mind and soul are all connect. Your physical emotional and mental health are very important and that all affect eachother. And your right I don’t see the fact i am on a journey and we never really do until after but my “frozen” state is what corrupts me and I want to live out of it. I never feel like I’m in the moment like I’ve said a few times and I realized that I’m not on the journey unless I have progressional thought. Maybe I just need to be straight forward with my parents instead of shutting them out.
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
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Messages
73
#24
And btw cognisant I did very well on my first job and they had me doing everything there cause I said I was versatile on the job interview. They called me in a lot. Also I don’t consider words to be important without meaning, some of the smartest people in this world don’t know how to articulate themselves and finding words is some of the hardest things but only partially significant. What I want to do is let my parents know that I need a break from my job so I can set back and existentially view what I need to get done with a pure insight. So I can study for the drivers course without being one of those cocky teenagers that ends up killing three people on the road, I am very realistic on my ego and who I am in society and I do not want to be short sighted of all things right now. I need to re-grasp the reality of this world and get back into it and I’ve found this world to be most fun when you act upon your gut almost instinctively one you are certain of it. One of my goals was to try to study extra hard for the GED so I can get more points for potential college credits, when I was in school I scored 96 on a chemistry mid-term that I didn’t study for but I failed the class cause I had 80 absences and was repeating old habit far too long. My parents told me to drop out because they didn’t trust I was getting anywhere and figured that would be the smartest move and now I miss school more than anything I love the schools I’ve attended and I did some college prep courses that I very much enjoyed because I found how I can improvise myself in a society filled with adults. I’m just stuck on two paths which is either staying in the school programs and approaching my ultimate goal which is to become a theoretical physicist or becoming a no-life and making enough money at a slow rate to afford an apartment and work with improvisation from society to move up at a slow rate until something comes up which is the significantly less safe route. And if you are wondering my father is a very smart intj who has been perusing me with theories which always occupies my interest however I visiting my old town and Boston and the way he was approaching me with his real self made me loose some respect for him and I stop listening to his theories like he did me for years until now when he finally found that I am correct in my theories and promotes many of the past things I’ve said and things of the same catagory. I honestly just need to fucking get up and do something and stop repeating any old habits, I thing people like me are very comfortable with nostalgia and living in the same state but I simply can’t anymore and also that one girl made me loose my ego for other girls tho I get hitted in all the time I never care to persue them and sorry I was typing to fast to add commas
 

Pyropyro

Magos Biologis
Local time
Tomorrow, 00:26
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Feb 3, 2012
Messages
4,050
Location
Philippines
#25
I have a special connection with only one person and they live very far away. I guess I only find myself to be connected with one person at a time
Ok I think you should work on that. Having several connections, even shallow ones, would be a good start. Otherwise, a fallout like the one you experienced would be devastating. Keep away from serious relationships for now.
 
Local time
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Joined
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5,850
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subjective
#26
My emotions is what’s the most detached. I could sit there and cry whenever I want but I keep it buried way too deep. I hate my emotions they are almost scary
I hold them in too.
But when they come up I just view it as energy.
So I may be sad but I absorb it, make it part of myself.
Nothing has to show outside, It just becomes integrated.
I make them me and I become stronger.
Makes the draining feelings into relief.
You can rise up above them and your will can move from its core.
The core is what you need to take control your will.
It can feel the negative energy become positive.
Do not bury them, control how you feel them.
That is my advice.
 

AmacdaTNPI

AnonymousINTP
Local time
Today, 11:26
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
73
#27
I hold them in too.
But when they come up I just view it as energy.
So I may be sad but I absorb it, make it part of myself.
Nothing has to show outside, It just becomes integrated.
I make them me and I become stronger.
Makes the draining feelings into relief.
You can rise up above them and your will can move from its core.
The core is what you need to take control your will.
It can feel the negative energy become positive.
Do not bury them, control how you feel them.
That is my advice.
Thank you :)
I guess in a way this can make you stronger and like cognisant said others will recognize this upon you if you appropriate it helping with the detachment and generally praise you with their attention upon your mystery they are very much intrigued by.
 
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