Depression is balls. Sometimes I hate being INTP. So easy to get depressed

[somfoolishfoole]

I don't even know what the purpose of this thread is. I nearly didn't make it. But I have an absence of stimuli that will hold my attention right now.

I hate being more intelligent than everyone else (real/imagined, narcissistic/honest, I really don't care right now. Just gonna roll with saying I'm smarter than anyone I know). I literally feel like I have never met anyone who is smarter than me.

It's fucking stupid because I'm not even that fucking smart. I'm pretty fucking retarded to be honest, I always fall for unsubstantiated claims and I always over-invest in new theory's.

My favorate subject is physics and I don't even know basic math. Physics=math.

Rant could quadruple in size... but it will become tl;dr.

Edit: Someone do some of that sympathy stuff please. Don't be fuckholes and troll.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaqC5FnvAEc

I just found it appropriate, by some means.

I feel your pain, I am so dumb that it is extremely difficult to find people on my level, it is soooo depressing.

Everyone seems to be so bright and intelligent, really.

 

[BigApplePi]

I don't even know what the purpose of this thread is.

The purpose of this thread could be to see if depression has anything positive about it ... that is, does it serve a purpose?

I nearly didn't make it. But I have an absence of stimuli that will hold my attention right now.

Then the challenge will be to find stimuli.

I hate being more intelligent than everyone else (real/imagined, narcissistic/honest, I really don't care right now. Just gonna roll with saying I'm smarter than anyone I know). I literally feel like I have never met anyone who is smarter than me.

If that is so, can you figure the less smart out? Can you enlighten them?

It's fucking stupid because I'm not even that fucking smart. I'm pretty fucking retarded to be honest, I always fall for unsubstantiated claims and I always over-invest in new theory's.

Get smarter. That's possible, isn't it? How does one "over-invest in new theories?" What about your own new theory?

My favorate subject is physics and I don't even know basic math. Physics=math.

See if basic math can help your interest in physics.

Rant could quadruple in size... but it will become tl;dr.

Edit: Someone do some of that sympathy stuff please. Don't be fuckholes and troll.

It's okay to complain. I left you something. I get depressed sometimes. It's painful, but then I have to figure what I'm depressed about. It sends a message ... and whatever happened to that non-depression? I can feel a pain right now because someone didn't do something I expected. Is that fair to them?

 

[somfoolishfoole]

get fucked dick. fuck off. What the fuck is wrong with people online. If you can't see someone upset, it's ok to laugh at them. fuck off. seriously intp forum is the only place I can turn for support.

lose: now I sit here crying more and he sits there laughing at my comment. enjoy it dick

 

[Brontosaurie]

what comment?

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

get fucked dick. fuck off. What the fuck is wrong with people online. If you can't see someone upset, it's ok to laugh at them. fuck off. seriously intp forum is the only place I can turn for support.

lose: now I sit here crying more and he sits there laughing at my comment. enjoy it dick

No tbh, I would like to be rational with you. What got you so upset?

 

[BigApplePi]

What's with these Australians?

 

[Base groove]

get fucked dick. fuck off. What the fuck is wrong with people online. If you can't see someone upset, it's ok to laugh at them. fuck off. seriously intp forum is the only place I can turn for support.

lose: now I sit here crying more and he sits there laughing at my comment. enjoy it dick

We understand, we just don't care. (Collective 'we' with major emphasis on the 'me' aspect)

You came here for sympathy!? Moron.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

thanks big apple pi.

I'm sorry for exploding blarraun. I was just really hoping to not get trolled.

who's australian?

base groove. THAT I can understand. Not caring is far better than actively attacking for fun.

 

[Brontosaurie]

answer my question

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I'm sorry for exploding blarraun. I was just really hoping to not get trolled.

I don't see how any post up to your 2nd post in the thread can be labeled as trolling.

My post is on topic and does not intend to provoke an emotional response.

I don't mind, it's your thread after all and your interpretation as with many other things, the discord in the self-relation is visible.

You have the potential to solve your issues that you have mentioned.

I assumed that being a little self critical might show you the problem with the lack of self criticism, however, the situation is not one that would make me continue, I will probably not contribute meaningfuly to this thread from that point on.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

I no longer understand whats going on in this thread.

"answer my question"
I didn't understand what you were asking in the first place. I couldn't find what "what comment" was referring to.

At any rate, a really cute girl txt me out of nowhere. Needless to say, I am no longer depressed lol win intp feels. easy to turn suicidal with no good reason. easy to turn it all around with a wee boost to your feels.

honestly though. thank hell she txt me. I was not bloody happy at all.

edit: "the discord in the self-relation is visible."

what does this mean?

 

[Jennywocky]

Little things sometimes can give you a boost.

Just want to note that it's hard to live life being too dependent on the external. You're at the mercy of other people at that point. Just be careful not to be too over-reliant. It sounds like you're stressed out in a large way about something that needs to be resolved in the long term or you'll keep bouncing around between feeling okay and feeling crappy, which is not a fun place to be...

 

[Brontosaurie]

it was referring to your purported comment.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaqC5FnvAEc

I just found it appropriate, by some means.

I feel your pain, I am so dumb that it is extremely difficult to find people on my level, it is soooo depressing.

Everyone seems to be so bright and intelligent, really.

*how I read this*:

trolling video used to... troll.

then twisting my words to ridicule my whining. sarcastic.

everyone seems to be so bright and intelligent (dont even know what this was supposed to mean) then I inadvertantly put a questoin mark on the end of "really"

so that it was like "really?" *that is what you are whinging about?*

 

[BigApplePi]

You mean some cute chickie lifted your spirits? We can talk about chickies.

Australians? I just thought they could be your rivals. Would you take on an Australian chickie?

 

[somfoolishfoole]

Little things sometimes can give you a boost.

Just want to note that it's hard to live life being too dependent on the external. You're at the mercy of other people at that point. Just be careful not to be too over-reliant. It sounds like you're stressed out in a large way about something that needs to be resolved in the long term or you'll keep bouncing around between feeling okay and feeling crappy, which is not a fun place to be...

wtf? You understand my feelings better than I do? I couldn't've (two apostraphes?? wtf someone tell me what just happened there, does grammar allow the word, "couldntve") figured out what you just said if my life depended on it, but you are right.

My happiness has always been strongly correlated to having a partner. I'm almost always depressed when I'm single. I can't handle not getting sex, and I can't handle not getting physical affection.

My uni work is stressing me out because I'm not studying and I should be.


edit: I'm going to sleep. night all. (it's 3am now, need to be up at 8am. depression always does this)

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

You are loser.

 

[Spocksleftball]

Little things sometimes can give you a boost.

that is all there is to it! Keep putting one foot forward (metaphorically) despite the pain or sense of sloth. Set easy short term goals to accomplish and stay busy. I know all this sounds hard, but it works. Set stupid goals like "today I will clean the kitchen" or "I will learn the relative locations of the planets for today" or "I will watch all of season 3 of Archer". then do it.

When I am low, I have to keep doing mindless tasks to get to the other side.

 

[Pyropyro]

We've tried giving advice and you ignored us. We've tried to sympathize and then you lash out at us.

Why do you think people now resort to sarcasm and trolling?

 

[pernoctator]

I am no longer depressed

So... we can troll again?

 

[Jennywocky]

wtf? You understand my feelings better than I do? I couldn't've (two apostraphes?? wtf someone tell me what just happened there, does grammar allow the word, "couldntve") figured out what you just said if my life depended on it, but you are right.

I think some people might have misread this as sarcasm (due to the way you experessed yourself in the opening sentence), but I read it as saying, "Yeah, you did understand what's going on in my head," since you did follow up with this:

My happiness has always been strongly correlated to having a partner. I'm almost always depressed when I'm single. I can't handle not getting sex, and I can't handle not getting physical affection.

yeah. There it is. That's the underlying issue I was saying must exist somewhere, and you are aware of it. For some reason, you're not happy when you're alone / not being physically close to someone.

Are there any reasons you're aware of, that might be contributing to this?

Everyone is different, some people need less physical touch than others and/or can be alone far longer without being bothered; but some people need more of it. Still, though, we all typically learn to adjust and somehow internalize our value and happiness so that external absences of things we desire don't derail us. Sounds like you are under a few different stresses and are still working out how to do this.

I can empathize somewhat. While I'm very independent and autonomous, emotionally I know I was looking for some kind of validation before I married ("Can someone ever love me?") and then being alone when my long-term marriage dissolved was really hard for me... I was used to having people around, and now I'm also having to confront that, "Will anyone else ever really think I'm that special, and what's that say about me?" ... yet at the same time, I've had to work at internalizing my own contentment and not relying too much on that feedback from others to understand my own self-worth. And I don't necessarily need a LOT of physical contact, but not having any is really kind of a lonely place to be.

It is not an easy road but I think it's beneficial over time to internalize your value and find things that can leave you feeling content even without a significant other in your life... although sure, having an SO can be a very positive experience.

edit: I'm going to sleep. night all. (it's 3am now, need to be up at 8am. depression always does this)

I do that too. It's one reason I know when I have gotten depressed -- I will be tired, but my mind becomes restless and I will stay up until 3-4am all the time. The sleep does help.

 

[Analyzer]

Get some herb or go for a walk.

 

[bemused]

Just about every post I've seen of yours makes some grandiose mention of how smart u are. Perhaps you're overestimating your intelligence?


BTW your depression has nothing to do with your personality type.


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