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Delicious new meats

Local time
Today, 08:09
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4
Location
Ithaca, NY
#1
I find introductions way awkward, so I'll just lay it all out. My name is Jess, I'm 23, I work for a laboratory in upstate NY. I graduated this year with a BS in genetics. I have ADD, so whatever practical benefit I could potentially derive from being an INTP is pretty much neutralized when I see something shiny.

Whelp, my dishwasher isn't going to load itself, so in summation:

Hello. I'm a spaz. I hope to contribute to this forum in a way that leads you all to believe that I'm a normal, well adjusted, competent individual. I can't make any guarantees though.
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Local time
Yesterday, 20:09
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,503
#2
mmmm.... brain meat. taste good. mmmm.....

Hi. You're not vegetarian, are you?

What's it like working in a genetics lab?
 
Local time
Today, 08:09
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4
Location
Ithaca, NY
#3
I'd like to be a vegetarian again, but I don't quite have the time to plan a real diet. My delicate constitution doesn't permit me to just not eat meat.

I might have been a bit misleading. I work for a lab that's run by a company specializing in animal reproduction. Mainly bovine. I spend most of my night elbow-deep in bull semen. We separate the sperm bearing X and Y chromosomes so that farmers can choose the sex of their animal's offspring. This job choice didn't go over too well with my friend from farm sanctuary...or any of my vegan friends. Ah well.
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Local time
Yesterday, 20:09
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,503
#5
Some of my best friends are animal libbers :phear:

I describe myself as a vegan that sometimes eats meat . Especially seafood mmmm....

I grew up on a farm - bovine AI is not foreign to me... so you can't quite say "hey guys, I'm a bull wanker!" but "sperm sorter" is an alright job title too.

Sometimes I contemplate the day when we all live in the shadow of the great big Global Cow, when every bovine shares identical genetics and the great bovine mind reaches out to subsume us with sweet whispers of clotted cream, strawberry yoghurts and frozen dairy desserts... just before I wake up screaming because I'm lactose intolerant :eek:

Hope you can regale us with seminal humour.
 
Local time
Today, 08:09
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4
Location
Ithaca, NY
#6
My mind was in the gutter long before I took this job. It didn't help either that the CEO interviewed me and went on a long tangent concerning the ins and outs of animal masturbation. Not just cows, but dogs and sea mammals. That made for one hell of a mental image. I think the interview was just a test to see if I'd laugh.

Unfortunately, most of the job-related humor I can think of off the top of my head involves the flow cytometers...and they're only funny if you're a massive nerd. Although, strategic use of cream cheese frosting can be comedy gold in the right situation.
 
Local time
Today, 02:09
Joined
Jul 9, 2007
Messages
357
Location
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
#7
My mind was in the gutter long before I took this job. It didn't help either that the CEO interviewed me and went on a long tangent concerning the ins and outs of animal masturbation. Not just cows, but dogs and sea mammals. That made for one hell of a mental image. I think the interview was just a test to see if I'd laugh.

Unfortunately, most of the job-related humor I can think of off the top of my head involves the flow cytometers...and they're only funny if you're a massive nerd. Although, strategic use of cream cheese frosting can be comedy gold in the right situation.
I heard that female monkeys will masturbate for bananas. I also heard that male monkeys will give away bananas to see the rear end shot of a monkey. Monkey porn..monkey fun.

I also feel that I am a nerd. It's quite hard to hide it, huh?
 

Vrecknidj

Prolific Member
Local time
Today, 03:09
Joined
Nov 21, 2007
Messages
2,198
Location
Michigan/Indiana, USA
#9
I'd like to be a vegetarian again, but I don't quite have the time to plan a real diet. My delicate constitution doesn't permit me to just not eat meat.
My wife has celiac disease, so, we pretty much eat some meat or die. (She cannot have corn, soy, wheat or dairy or anything tainted with even the faintest traces of them. If I have a beer and kiss her later, she reacts. So, thank God for the new wheat-free beers.)
I might have been a bit misleading. I work for a lab that's run by a company specializing in animal reproduction. Mainly bovine. I spend most of my night elbow-deep in bull semen. We separate the sperm bearing X and Y chromosomes so that farmers can choose the sex of their animal's offspring. This job choice didn't go over too well with my friend from farm sanctuary...or any of my vegan friends. Ah well.
It's all good, I used to clean autopsy tables for the local pathologist. INTPs are led into very weird places it seems.

Dave
 
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