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Dealing with inferiority complexs

JR_IsP

Overthinker in Chief
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
285
Location
Venezuela, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
#1
So, college starts tomorrow, and yeah, I'm tired of doing nothing and learning makes me feel distracted, but there's also several triggers out there for a lot of inferiority complexs (the most part due to past experiences), which is pretty frustrating.

Is this a result from Ti-Si loops or crazy Fe doing some ravagery? Idk, but anyone relating?
 
Joined
Aug 12, 2017
Messages
50
Location
USA
#2
Yeah, I know a girl at work who's four years younger than me (18 to my 22) and is majoring in math education right now. I really like her, but I'm not her type, her dad is pretty high up at work and she knows a hell of a lot more than me and is doing more than (I'd say running laps around me) me while only starting three months before me. And...sigh...she has a boyfriend, whom she loves very much. I've never dated, and quite honestly I do find her attractive. Never thought I'd say this at all. But, talk about inferiority complex while being outsmarted and outclassed by an attractive woman four years younger than you!! LOL!! I don't know. I'm INFJ BTW. For me it's got to be Fi.
 

Serac

Prolific Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2017
Messages
1,043
Location
Stockholm
#3
Distinguish between what can and cannot be improved. Most things belong to the former, so just work on that.
 
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
2,854
Location
Objects in the mirror might look closer than they
#4
Yeah, I know a girl at work who's four years younger than me (18 to my 22) and is majoring in math education right now. I really like her, but I'm not her type, her dad is pretty high up at work and she knows a hell of a lot more than me and is doing more than (I'd say running laps around me) me while only starting three months before me. And...sigh...she has a boyfriend, whom she loves very much. I've never dated, and quite honestly I do find her attractive. Never thought I'd say this at all. But, talk about inferiority complex while being outsmarted and outclassed by an attractive woman four years younger than you!! LOL!! I don't know. I'm INFJ BTW. For me it's got to be Fi.
loser.
seriously get over it
u cannot feel inferior to anyone, not any girl, not any men, that's bullcrap.
change your mindset.
confusion is just a distraction from our true goal.
YOU ARE A MACHINE MEANT TO CUT HEADS OFF AND SPIT AND PEE ON UR VICTIMS GRAVES.
YOU ARE A SOLDIER.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND FEELINGS.
 

JR_IsP

Overthinker in Chief
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
285
Location
Venezuela, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
#5
Dude, I just discovered what the two A's button in the upper right corner of the editor does, now I can see what I'm actually writing and not that many brackets, feel like :matrix:

YOU ARE A MACHINE MEANT TO CUT HEADS OFF AND SPIT AND PEE ON UR VICTIMS GRAVES.
YOU ARE A SOLDIER.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND FEELINGS.
Why bury them then? :twisteddevil:
 

PmjPmj

Full of stars.
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
1,375
Location
UK
#7
You need to realise that everyone has their insecurities. Most people are just making this shit up as they go along. Do not confuse the appearance of confidence with actual confidence. It doesn't matter how 'together' somebody appears to be - you can bet your arse that in more ways than one they're unhappy/feeling a sense of lack/whatever.

Just show up each day and do the best that you can do / aim to get as much done as you possible. Productivity breeds self-worth, I find.

Life is a process, not a journey.

Also, never forget that comparison is the enemy of happiness. Fuck what anybody else is doing. Go your own way, and to hell with the rest.

Stronger every day, motherfuckers.
 

Rixus

I introverted think. Therefore, I am.
Joined
Nov 21, 2016
Messages
1,282
Location
United Kingdon
#8
It's one thing to be able to say, "no one is better than me." It's another thing to believe it. I live with an inferiority complex to the point where merely writing the words, "no one is better than me," feels ludicrous and as if it should be followed by a chorus of, "of course they are, everyone is." For me, it goes as far as whenever someone touches me, I have to consciously dismiss the thought that they wouldn't if they knew how inferior I was.

It's not an easy self perception to live with. Especially in a world that defines authority figures as "your superiors", where every group has it's alpha, where social hierarchies exist as much as professional ones, where it often seems as though everyone defines almost every social relationship based on who is the superior one. It leads you to allow other people to get the promotion, the job, the girl. And that just reinforces your own perception of yourself.

But that's all it is - perception. Your perception of yourself. Believing you are inferior to others because of your own shortcomings or because of how you don't fit into the world. We can say how everyone has the same struggles and insecurities, but the trick is to look around and actually see it. Look how many people are awkwardly sit there not knowing what to say, watch people try to say something funny that ends up sounding atrociously dumb. I know that boisterous loud guy in the other office, he takes anti-depressants for his anxiety disorder and often drives halfway home before coming back to go over his work because he's so afraid of missing something important. That girl who was the head of the It crowd in college, she was degrading herself into letting her boyfriend perform perverse acts on her because she was afraid he'd leave her if she didn't because she believed she wasn't lovable without doing those things. Realise that when you experience an awkward silence, that they can't think of what to say either and probably feel the same as you do.

What makes it worse is that people will react to your own self perceptions. Whenever you're in a social situation, every time you contract within yourself, they will expand into a dominating position. Conversely, as you expand they too will contract. You have to learn to remember you are in control of the situation - because the truth is that they are as lost as you are.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,576
Location
Charn
#9
For me, it was always seeing all of my deficiencies and feeling like I should know more / be better at everything I do. It can create problems because it seems naturally confident people might be below par but get attention because they just believe they're right; people who struggle with self-confidence often are better than they believe themselves to be. Sometimes I have undermined myself by giving up on something that less-qualified folks would keep doing because they weren't as hard on themselves.

Life has been a process of trying to recalibrate and be fair with myself over my competence level and what things I am willing to tackle in life, based more on a fair/reasonable assessment versus simply lacking perfection.

And yeah, sometimes you deal with people who are hyper-critical, and that doesn't help the calibration process, especially if they have power/control over you or part of your life (so you can't just ignore them). Somehow you have to learn how to deal with that while disagreeing with their assessment.

I think the worst thing is simply when the lack of confidence leads you not to try anymore. Because then you are guaranteed to never succeed and never improve. It's good to become aware of what things you probably won't be great at but to give yourself leeway and fairness in the areas you have some ability for so that you can excel.
 

JR_IsP

Overthinker in Chief
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
285
Location
Venezuela, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
#10
Well well, update from OP's life :rolleyes:

I went to college psychologist yesterday, and it was kinda like good, I mean, first time I ever went to one, and it was better than expected (I actually have a second appointment on 29th).

This may sound funny, but I think I've been more self-confident since that, and also more friendly... I guess. I managed to create a new group to study / hang out in the past 48 hrs, pretty cool considering my previous expreriences.

I also decided to stop all relation with inferiority triggerers, they can go fuck anyone else. Til then: HAIL TO THE KIIIIING

HAIL TO THE OOOOOONE!