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Dad has no clue my job or trying to be proud for sending me to college.

ohrtonz

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The long story is for just something to read the fun stuff is near the end.

I don't expect dad to know all the details with history of my HTML/PHP hobby but what should be known is that I've done a few websites, even for his church. So everyone who knows me close knows that's what I can do. I even chose, on my own, to take a website and programming class in high school.

I was pressured for college and wasn't too sure so I went for AS in Computer Networks since I figured I like building working with computers since I was little (Actually I built my first computer with help right after H.S.). And my plan was to get into computer/networks career and do some sites on the side freelance or something.

So I continued to teach myself things with sites and would go overboard on Visual Basic class and the Linux class when we had to make basic sites. So I did learn some things about DNS, IP, servers and programming that helps me with website hosting.

I have been building custom websites and PHP stuff for almost 3 years now I think as a job. My first project was a social networking site. I spent 6 months building this thing from scratch spaghetti code, custom functions, with notes/file sharing, class/professor ratings, and the basic functions you might find in facebook. (It looked at felt very similar to facebook at the time) I told dad about this.

Anyways I had previously applied to a job where you have to maintain a specific imaging computer system at hospital. Didn't get it. Also my dad once made the comment about my website career to someone as "good thing I sent him to that school".

THIS IS THE GOOD PART

I have had several conversations with my dad about cool projects and features I've been building for websites at work. I tell him how things are getting good. Which still somehow end with him saying "have you thought about going back to school".

Yet today, my dad says to me that there is a position open for "network analyst" for this specific system. Sounds to me I think its the same one I applied for 2+years ago. He then says, this is the kicker, "you will basically be doing what you are doing now. just making sure it keeps running."

So yea I really don't think he understands what I do exactly. Or he wants to take so much credit for everything I know because he paid majority of my tuition. I guess he really convinced himself that college = instant job in that career. He thinks I'm doing what I went to school for and is trying to tell me about bigger opportunities. The thing is, and I've said this to everyone at thanksgiving, is that I am the only one that does what I do at my work (well not anymore, we expanded) and things are getting bigger and bigger ever since because my boss thinks I'm really good.
 

EditorOne

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It could be a lot worse. He's proud and glad to have contributed to your future. That he's a few degrees off the mark can easily be fixed. Perhaps you need to tell him what you want to do. I'm just whistling here, but it sounds like you want to be your own person to do your own thing, and that you're both technically skilled and creative. IMHO, you're in line to be exploited and have an erratic income without a bit more going for you, and suggest you consider adding to your education with studies on how to create and run your own business. You need not pursue that as a matriculated student, but there's a whole lot you can learn to make your life come out the way you want. And perhaps your father will help out with that.

The "It could be worse" part: My wife's father, a creature of the 1950s, refused to contribute anything to her college education, saying she was a woman and didn't need college. So she had to do it herself, working three jobs at times. To this day she still can get sore over it. She'd rather have your problem. :)
 

walfin

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ohrtonz said:
So yea I really don't think he understands what I do exactly. Or he wants to take so much credit for everything I know because he paid majority of my tuition. I guess he really convinced himself that college = instant job in that career. He thinks I'm doing what I went to school for and is trying to tell me about bigger opportunities. The thing is, and I've said this to everyone at thanksgiving, is that I am the only one that does what I do at my work (well not anymore, we expanded) and things are getting bigger and bigger ever since because my boss thinks I'm really good.
I don't think it matters much that he doesn't understand exactly what you do.

And if he wants to take credit, why, just let him do so - does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? I'm sure you know you're good at what you do.

But it's good that your boss appreciates your work.

Just my $0.02.
 

Da Blob

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Crud, at least your father knows who you are - if not what you do. I have been more intelligent than my own father since I was about 5 years old and he has no clue to that or what that means. A couple of years ago, i was feeling somewhat proud of the fact, i had just scored 750 on the Math exam portion of the Graduate Record Exams, without prepping, 35 years after my last exposure to math... He had absolutely no clue as to what that meant and he has no clue as to what I mean 90% of the time i try to speak "one on one" with him....

Crud! I am 55 years old and he is 75, so i would suggest to you younger folks to learn How to communicate with your parents. A lack of communication in the relationship of parent-child can really get frustrating after a half century...
 
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