Cheating on your Girlfriend

[DeadonDreaming]

Yes.

But I guess you have no interest in exchanging ideas. It seems as long as your ideas come across, that is what matters.



Oh well.

*Falls on top of Latte*

Mew

*Licks his neck*

No, no, shut up, we're having an exchange of ideas and you're going to sit there and take it. I re-read that post, with an angry tone of voice and imagining someone angry, and it works just as well as when I wrote it, completely flippant about body-nazis telling people where they can and cannot stick their penis. Imagine them coming up to your door, "Herr DeadonDreaming, your penis was schedule to be in Nancy at 7 PM tonight, but it was in Jessica at 5 PM and you were unable to fulfill your manly duties. Is her Aryan vagina not good enough for you?". Thats pretty much what everything is coming down to, in my mind. "Ortsgruppen, I just.. I just don't care. I was horny at the time, and it just happened"

"Well DeadonDreaming, I'm afraid we can't have that. While in a free society like that Jew capitalist America it isn't illegal to cheat on your girlfriend, here in INTP-Landia it is. FLOG HIM! FLOG HIM NOW!"

Also, I don't imagine your posts as serious. Don't tell me they are, PLEASSEEE don't... You don't actually think the things you type, do you? That Cog has a grudge against you, and all that jazz? Tell me you're making it up to be a troll, and I'll forgive you :]

SERIOUS MODE: I seriously think you just troll 99.9% of your posts, Fraulein. I'm sorry if I didn't take you serious. I thought they were horrible attempts to troll. Heil Hitler.

 

[Minuend]

I try being angry when I fall on top of Latte. But he is just so Saturn damned adorable it's not possible )=

 

[nanook]

this thread was about religion from the beginning. you wanted it, you get it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdPvqz8Xqlk

it's not like there was an intellectual point in rationally discussing the pros and cons of the disintegration of your soul, it's only about illustrating it.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

this thread was about religion from the beginning. you wanted it, you get it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdPvqz8Xqlk

it's not like there was an intellectual point in rationally discussing the pros and cons of the disintegration of your soul, it's only about illustrating it.

Nanook, sind Sie Buddhist? Ich glaube sie am ein BuddhistPillow sitzen.

I imagine you in a room full of little Buddhist charms, sitting on a little Buddhist pillow, meditating while browsing INTP central. Your hippie girlfriend walks in, gives you split pea soup with organic peas grown in your garden that you tend to barefoot. The wind blows into your room, making the old rusty wind-chines you made swing in the wind.

Edit: Ah, I just re-read your wall post. I imagined you crazy fit, able to do insane yoga poses like nothing, which is usually what you're doing when INTP central gets slow and you have to re-engage your chakras.

 

[nanook]

to be fair, i want to take a look at the other side of the argument:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITmnV03gyNc

also, it's entertaining that your imagination of me is so off. not blaming you or anything.

 

[Latte]

@DeadonDreaming

I recommend reading through the entire thread again. If you don't realize you misunderstood anything or handled the discussion quite badly, then a discussion forum is probably not something constructively managed with the fragile ego you in a process you are probably not accurately aware of huff and puff up by lashing out and straw manning (surely, the behavior has a different explanation in your mind. Lest you're a troll, but that is unlikely).

This post is a patronizing armchair psychologist post behind which there is no real assumption of everyone living happily ever after eventually sprouting forth from its soil.

It's not thought likely to be beneficial for social harmony nor for the advancement of any discussion.

The previous disclaimer was performed to make me look good and also to avert expressed or non-expressed criticism in the minds of others towards what it described.

This the previous disclaimer and this disclaimer is chiefly for the purposes of making me look cool on the internet.

This disclaimer is about how some people might not find that cool and may want to put me down a notch, so they won't try to do that because that's not cool if it's predicted.

This disclaimer is about how the previous disclaimer is a duck and how this disclaimer is a cheap shot at being perceived as funny because random purple watermelon grapedrank shoutout to my homeboy luzi we cool ok swag.

swag.

third swag.

I didn't skip a swag and say fourth swag, that's so meta meta.

7th swag.

I try being angry when I fall on top of Latte. But he is just so Saturn damned adorable it's not possible )=

<3

 

[DeadonDreaming]

@DeadonDreaming

I recommend reading through the entire thread again. If you don't realize you misunderstood anything or handled the discussion quite badly, then a discussion forum is probably not something the fragile ego you in a process you are probably not accurately aware of huff and puff up by lashing out and straw manning (surely, the behavior has a different explanation in your mind. Lest you're a troll, but that is unlikely).

This post is a patronizing armchair psychologist post behind which there is no real assumption of everyone living happily ever after eventually sprouting forth from its soil.

It's not thought likely to be beneficial for social harmony nor for the advancement of any discussion.

The previous disclaimer was performed to make me look good and also to avert expressed or non-expressed criticism in the minds of others towards what it described.

This the previous disclaimer and this disclaimer is chiefly for the purposes of making me look cool on the internet.

This disclaimer is about how some people might not find that cool and may want to put me down a notch, so they won't try to do that because that's not cool if it's predicted.

This disclaimer is about how the previous disclaimer is a duck and how this disclaimer is a cheap shot at being perceived as funny because random purple watermelon grapedrank shoutout to my homeboy luzi we cool ok swag.

swag.

third swag.

I didn't skip a swag and say fourth swag, that's so meta meta.

7th swag.

I already read it I'm not lashing out at anyone, theres more lashing out at me, as multiple people have already said. My ego is just fine *pats it* Love you ego. Anyway, I'm done with this thread, theres nothing more to say :P I've already expressed all I wanted, and enjoyed every minute of it where I wasn't misunderstood. I see the posts you guys think are lashing, and think its funny you think they're serious. Wait, I don't, its just frustrating you're so retarded :P

 

[Minuend]

Latte, you're so hawt <3

*Drunkenly rests on Latte*

*Drools a little but it's ok because Latte was thirsty anyway*

 

[Latte]

I already read it I'm not lashing out at anyone, theres more lashing out at me, as multiple people have already said. My ego is just fine *pats it* Love you ego. Anyway, I'm done with this thread, theres nothing more to say :P I've already expressed all I wanted, and enjoyed every minute of it where I wasn't misunderstood.

 

[Minuend]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtxK0SdJeb4

 

[Jah]

I love this chronic Antagonist-shit


Rebel without a cause.




Anyway.

When it comes to the original topic.
Cheating, to me, basically indicates a lacking in communication.
Either you are, naturally, as most great apes, Sexually promiscuous.

To me this seems entirely natural that; within your Tribe/Group, however you see it, there is sexually promiscuous behaviour. That sex is Abundant, not something laden with Shame. (also correlates well with the Red Queen, in my views)


or; you might be naturally drawn to monogamy. (I don't know whether there's any Honest studies done on this... I mean, it's such a heavy topic, and so ingrained that most people probably don't even know themselves which of these they are.)


Regardless, don't take society's roles/rules so fucking serious, figure this stuff out for yourself.
(oh, yeah and most girls have more sex than most guys... and they probably enjoy it more. (check out the ancient story of Tiresias, you should know this for fact already) )



Just be honest about it. Know your fucking self.
Don't jump to some foregone conclusion that "This is the best way for me, because somebody told me it is the best way for me, and other people always know best"...

 

[snafupants]

@Jah

Especially as regards the last post, women are definitely more innately inclined towards monogamy.

There's nothing wrong with this propensity but it shouldn't be the yardstick by which males, or myriad peoples, are judged.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

I love this chronic Antagonist-shit


Rebel without a cause.




Anyway.

When it comes to the original topic.
Cheating, to me, basically indicates a lacking in communication.
Either you are, naturally, as most great apes, Sexually promiscuous.

To me this seems entirely natural that; within your Tribe/Group, however you see it, there is sexually promiscuous behaviour. That sex is Abundant, not something laden with Shame. (also correlates well with the Red Queen, in my views)


or; you might be naturally drawn to monogamy. (I don't know whether there's any Honest studies done on this... I mean, it's such a heavy topic, and so ingrained that most people probably don't even know themselves which of these they are.)


Regardless, don't take society's roles/rules so fucking serious, figure this stuff out for yourself.
(oh, yeah and most girls have more sex than most guys... and they probably enjoy it more. (check out the ancient story of Tiresias, you should know this for fact already) )



Just be honest about it. Know your fucking self.
Don't jump to some foregone conclusion that "This is the best way for me, because somebody told me it is the best way for me, and other people always know best"...

I love it :]

 

[BigApplePi]

women are definitely more innately inclined towards monogamy.

What if men are more serially monogamous? Wouldn't that make them more monogamous than women?

 

[snafupants]

What if men are more serially monogamous? Wouldn't that make them more monogamous than women?

@BigApplePi

I said innately inclined towards monogamy not functionally recorded to be monogamous; by innately inclined I mean biologically programmed. It makes sense that Nature would choose this route, and it's in ample evidence in almost every species.

People are capable of acting in nonsensical or superior ways contrary to Nature's schemes. This doesn't invalidate Nature's schemes. Folks can choose their actions to some extent but their actions are steered (sublimated?) towards certain ends.

Pain is Nature's method of negative reinforcement; you could opt not to eat, but it would be arduous because abstaining from food isn't biologically adaptive but, more importantly, it hurts fertility and cultivation of the next generation, which is what Nature really desires.

I'm saying you could jump off a bridge tomorrow but that wouldn't preclude or erase the self-preservation instinct embedded in folks' DNA coast to coast. Certain instincts can be tamped down with drugs or mood disorders. One suicide doesn't repudiate the trend towards self-preservation.

Hm, I'm willing to concede that such an outcome - modern man ostensibly being more monogamous than modern women (which I reject) - would practically make modern men more functionally monogamous than their female counterparts presupposing modern women were less attached to monogamy as evidenced by their behaviors.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

@Latte
@Minuend

*pointing dramatically*
I knew it!!!

Crazy Norwegians.

 

[Minuend]

*Squishes Adaire between Latte and herself*

My boobs may or may not be strategically placed.








*Same for little latte*

 

[BigApplePi]

snafu. Another thought. We can assume both men and women are programmed in the norm to perpetuate the species. Women are closest to that in the sense they are closest to birthing and caring for the child. Since men are further away in practice, they must be further away from perpetuating the species and so can afford to be more promiscuous.

This line of cause and effect could break down, say for other species, if the male's strength or some other factor contributed more to preserving the offspring. (True for some birds but I don't recall which.) Then the woman could be more promiscuous. Come to think of it, when human males dominate some religious group, they can be passionately against promiscuity. This could be because they wish to promote the species after their own form. Think the Catholic pope or many American religious fundamentalists.

 

[Jah]

@Jah

Especially as regards the last post, women are definitely more innately inclined towards monogamy.

There's nothing wrong with this propensity but it shouldn't be the yardstick by which males, or myriad peoples, are judged.

Bullshit.


Women are drawn to higher value naturally. (that is innately.)

That translates into seeking out the alpha-male/the best guy, and mating with him,
Which also means that when they find that dude, they may try to hold him to a relationship/monogamy, but if they can't they'll find another guy to provide.


There's a book called Sperm Wars which deals with this whole dichotomy of Provider/Lover. I think this translates into Long-term vs Short-term mating strategies.

Women aren't innately drawn to providers more than lovers, they're genetically inclined towards the guys who appear to be dominant and in abundance, i.e. the Alpha Males. (slippery slope if we're going to define that one, but the basic cues are in who's feeling the least invested in the interaction. Who would be the one feeling left out of the Cool Party if the other one suddenly left)

Of course they also look for security, but if they're pretty they'll typically not be that concerned with it, because they have tons of little yes-men trying to provide for them all the time.

So, no, she's not naturally more inclined to monogamy, nor is man typically either.
At least not if he trusts himself, his own value(s) and worth. If he's secure in himself, he'll naturally give off the right sub-communications that he doesn't have to put up with stupid shit, and trust that he can find another girl should this one not work out.


Especially in the situation we have today, security is pretty much guaranteed, at least if you're a cute girl...
(not entirely true, but close enough.)



Point is, Girls are only monogamous insofar as they're acting out of that conservative Self/side, which is concerned with security, stability, family etc. (incidentally the best way of ensuring that a woman doesn't cheat is for her to have your children)

If she's out having fun, she'll be wanting to have fun, as we all do, the brain tries to maintain whichever mental/emotional concoction it currently holds.

That is to say, if her Adventurous Self is to the surface, then her brain/body will try to stay in that state, and she'll be more willing to do go with short-term strategies.


This shit only becomes confusing if you still believe that we're in complete control of what we do. (Your mind rationalizes after the fact, and if you're actions have been in accord with a more adventurous side, you'll rationalize why that was the right thing to do; or suffer the horrible limbo of cognitive dissonance. Women will do this when they've been adventurous, followed short-term strategies and cheated on you... (men as well, hold your panties, ). )


Oh, and I'm pretty sure women cheat more than men, but that there are less female "cheaters" (i.e. people who self-identify as "cheaters") because they will rationalize away why "I'm not like that", and play the innocence-card. (It's those damned "Players" )


[As I'm writing this I actually have a girl reading what I write and agree. I take it as a clue that I'm not completely off :P ]

-Cheers.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

Bullshit.


Women are drawn to higher value naturally. (that is innately.)

That translates into seeking out the alpha-male/the best guy, and mating with him,
Which also means that when they find that dude, they may try to hold him to a relationship/monogamy, but if they can't they'll find another guy to provide.


There's a book called Sperm Wars which deals with this whole dichotomy of Provider/Lover. I think this translates into Long-term vs Short-term mating strategies.

Women aren't innately drawn to providers more than lovers, they're genetically inclined towards the guys who appear to be dominant and in abundance, i.e. the Alpha Males. (slippery slope if we're going to define that one, but the basic cues are in who's feeling the least invested in the interaction. Who would be the one feeling left out of the Cool Party if the other one suddenly left)

Of course they also look for security, but if they're pretty they'll typically not be that concerned with it, because they have tons of little yes-men trying to provide for them all the time.

So, no, she's not naturally more inclined to monogamy, nor is man typically either.
At least not if he trusts himself, his own value(s) and worth. If he's secure in himself, he'll naturally give off the right sub-communications that he doesn't have to put up with stupid shit, and trust that he can find another girl should this one not work out.


Especially in the situation we have today, security is pretty much guaranteed, at least if you're a cute girl...
(not entirely true, but close enough.)



Point is, Girls are only monogamous insofar as they're acting out of that conservative Self/side, which is concerned with security, stability, family etc. (incidentally the best way of ensuring that a woman doesn't cheat is for her to have your children)

If she's out having fun, she'll be wanting to have fun, as we all do, the brain tries to maintain whichever mental/emotional concoction it currently holds.

That is to say, if her Adventurous Self is to the surface, then her brain/body will try to stay in that state, and she'll be more willing to do go with short-term strategies.


This shit only becomes confusing if you still believe that we're in complete control of what we do. (Your mind rationalizes after the fact, and if you're actions have been in accord with a more adventurous side, you'll rationalize why that was the right thing to do; or suffer the horrible limbo of cognitive dissonance. Women will do this when they've been adventurous, followed short-term strategies and cheated on you... (men as well, hold your panties, ). )


Oh, and I'm pretty sure women cheat more than men, but that there are less female "cheaters" (i.e. people who self-identify as "cheaters") because they will rationalize away why "I'm not like that", and play the innocence-card. (It's those damned "Players" )


[As I'm writing this I actually have a girl reading what I write and agree. I take it as a clue that I'm not completely off :P ]

-Cheers.

True that. Experience shows this to be true.

 

[Polaris]

I wasn't going to get involved in this trollish thread, but here I am taking the bait. (Not hook line and sinker though, I'm a slippery fucker )

I agree with everything Jah said.

Spoiler

And: the only reason I never slept with any other men while I was in relationships was because the men I were in the relationship with at the time were "traditionalist", as in: "monogamy is the only way, and you better believe it girl". My ex-husband hated flirtation and cheating, and he ended up sleeping with someone else for three months while we were apart. At the time I probably would have been more okay with it if he had given me some warning, or we could have come to some agreement. However, because he was so conservative, this would never have worked if I had tried, he would have blankly refused. He was ESFJ, and not particularly open-minded and with a nasty temper to follow.

We all make mistakes. I made the mistake to get into relationships with people I shouldn't have been with. I was naive in thinking men and women would be rational and intelligent beings, hence my approach to being in a relationship was more like being good buddies who have sex, none of this stupid needy ownership business. Nobody is perfect, as per the modern society standard of "perfect", which, by the way is bullshit, and I condemn no-one for "cheating" or living in open relationships.

Some animals are monogamous, others aren't. I believe humans aren't, and I find the modern standards or expectations of society on man-woman relationships as archaic, needy and irrational.

And the argument that monogamous relationships are beneficial if you have children is idealistic at most. It would be great for the peace and quiet of society, yes...but hell....we are human.

 

[Tony3d]

Have sex with as many people as you like, I won't judge.

But if you are not honest about it then you are a horrible person.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

I won't judge.

Meep.

 

[Fukyo]

@DeadonDreaming Yup


[bIMG]http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/meh.ro10562.jpg[/bIMG]

 

[Tony3d]

Meep.

Don't judge me, you're not my real dad, I don't care what you have to say!

 

[DeadonDreaming]

@DeadonDreaming Yup


[bIMG]http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/meh.ro10562.jpg[/bIMG]

I edited it before this hit, too slow.

Don't judge me, you're not my real dad, I don't care what you have to say!

Is your real dad a muppet?

 

[Fukyo]

I edited it before this hit, too slow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MLry6Cn_D4

 

[redbaron]

^ I watched all ten minutes - riveting!

 

[Vict]

Chasing pussy is called life.

 

[Duxwing]

I see no problem with banging anything and everything that moves, relationship or no relationship, provided that both parties consent. The only difficulty would be if jealousy somehow entered the mix, at which point there would need to be very open and clear communication about how to resolve the issue. Ultimately, one can have a sexual group of n people, it's just a matter of avoiding entropy (jealousy et. al.) build-up.

Likewise, a romantic network would have to proceed along the same path of clear communication about how each participant can love multiple people at once. In practice, I might prefer exclusivity provided that my partner preferred the same: if she cheats, then she prefers someone else. I have no problem with breaking up, but having to discover something so sad is more unpleasant than being told that it's time to split.

-Duxwing

 

[snafupants]

Chasing pussy is called life.

Perhaps your life. Well, chasing pussy certainly and ultimately creates life.

There's this somewhat raunchy joke that life's all about ass - getting it, kicking it, and covering it. Or something like that anyway.

 

[Pizzabeak]

I heard some INTP are pretty talented when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Is it possible op is INTP who is abusing his power? I think having sex with a few different women while single is completely different from being in a relationship of sorts & "cheating" on said spouse.

 

[Melkor]

This one time?
I dated Aeris instead of Tifa.


GOD I'M SO GLAD I GOT THAT OFF MY CHEST.

 

[Emelina]

I've never cheated on anyone, I take that veeery seriously. I hope no one ever cheats on me either.
I'm going to sound like a cold, evil bitch now.
A couple times I've realized I'm dating someone who turns out to be an uninteresting bore of a person, so I'm not attracted to them anymore. You know what I do? I dump them in the most friendly, less hurtful way I can. I've sometimes started looking at some other guy, but I've never pursued that because it would be cruel and they're usually not much better anyway. It's never been their fault to be insipid, no need to hurt them like that.

So I may have those mean thoughts, but in practice, I'm an angel every time. I'm super nice, except for the typical INTP cold and robotic personality. I never tell them that I'm sick of them and their stupid conversations about other people and the weather. I am beyond reproach! I'm kidding, I'm not, but I try to be. But you, OP, are a pig.

 

[Buck Shane]

I've never understood 'cheating.' First, there is the question of integrity.
Second, if I am with the best one (for me) why would I waste time with the second best that could have been shared with the best? If I'm not with the best one, what am I doing there?
I am a person who can be trusted. I will never betray my family or friends. (looks smug - no wait - that's just the typical ENTP smirk)

 

[drakey]

You sound like a total douche, but on the other hand I'm jealous

 

[Pizzabeak]

Ohh, is this why he was banned? I was kind of wondering why:

http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=14201

 

[LoveYourselfAndLoveOthers]

OP here. I apologize deeply for what I wrote all those years ago. I was angry and stupid. Writing what I did feels like a total departure from what the person I grew into years later is, and reading it now is incredibly jarring. I wish I could take it all back. A lot of it is made up or embellished, because I wish I could have been someone who had little feelings for other people, but instead I posted on the internet pretending to be that person.



I did violate someones trust 11+ years ago, and for that I am also deeply sorry. I apologized to them, and it was one of the lowest feelings I ever felt. My relationships have been completely honest besides that, and a few have been very long lasting, deep, and filled with trust, in spite of what I deserve. I don’t think I can go back and tell the person I was to be less angry, because it was something that took years to work through. Maybe I could tell them just because someone hurt them, doesn’t mean they have to become an ugly person, though I don’t think they would listen. In the end, the only thing you can do is live your life better today, because there isn’t a time machine you can jump into to go back and fix things.

 

[The Gopher]

Wow good on you. I'm glad you came back to say that. Hope things continue to go well.