Attention

[Toad]

What do you guys feel about attention? I know as INTP's we are supposed to be closed off and abhor attention.

I think this may be the reason some of you guys question my INTP-ness. I, unlike an INTP, enjoy attention. However! I do not enjoy direct attention. I love subtle attention. What is the difference you ask? Well let me give you guys examples. I HATE celebrating my birthday. I hate when people go out of their way to give me attention. But I LOVE going to parties and being the center of attention. I love it when people want to talk and look at me. I don't like acting crazy or doing something dumb and have people watch me. I am not a monkey that entertains people. I just really enjoy having people ask me my opinion. Does that make me more of an E type than an I? I don't think so.

So what about you guys? How do you feel about attention. Do you guys hate people who constantly seek attention?

 

[fullerene]

no, and yes. I don't like attention, and people who chase after it seem to annoy me. It's not so much their attention-seeking in itself as much as it is like waving a big red banner that says "we will never appreciate each other". I tend to hate most of their reasons for seeking attention, as well as the things that they do to get it, and they tend to get bored with me because I'm quiet and don't have much "stuff" going on around me.

I think that I do appreciate really small bits of attention, like if someone quietly comes to ask me what I think about something when nobody else is around. If it's in a group and someone draws attention to me, then I do sort of roll with it (to the extent that my Ne allows). I don't freeze up or get awkward, but I've sort of trained myself to be that way.

I had a little period in middle school where I didn't want any attention at all. Even when someone came to ask me for math homework help privately, I'd be so nervous that I couldn't explain it to them, and used to wonder how I could get away comfortably without sounding stupid or mean.

 

[Toad]

My friends tried to throw my a surprise birthday party. I didn't show up. They were very mad at me. I was even more mad at them.

 

[NoID10ts]

^ My wife threw me a surprise party when we were dating. That never happened again.


I love attention from a distance like attention I might get here or anywhere where I am not in direct, one on one contact with other people. I freak when a spotlight is turned on me in public or if someone comes up to me and gushes about something I've done that they approve of. This happens at work a lot. I fix a computer and people act like I just delivered their first born child and want to buy me lunch and shit. All I can think is "Fuck lady, just make sure the damn computer is plugged in next time, let's not make more of this then we should."

 

[meshram.alok]

I crave attention -- but not in a way to increase my happiness. It's more of a need to have some kind of support (I have a relatively strong Fe). Also, I do it when I've created something. I HAVE to go out and show it to people and get appreciated.

This, among other things, makes me very unsure that I'm an INTP. But then, at times, nothing fits me and my behaviour than an INTP profile does.

 

[Toad]

I freak when a spotlight is turned on me in public or if someone comes up to me and gushes about something I've done that they approve of.

LoL. Yea. I hate when someone thanks me or says something nice about me. I have the worst reaction to it. I give them kind of a half smile without looking them in the eyes. It makes me feel so weird when someone praises me. Just a simple thanks would do it for me. Even better if they don't say anything.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

I don't think I crave attention so much as connection/commonality. So if I am in the center of a conversation and I am enjoying it, it's the thrill of connecting with people, good conversation, shared experience. For example, last night I went up to talk to the musician I saw play because I just knew that we were similar people and that we would get each other. So we shared looks (which verified the fact) and I walked over and we had a cool little talk. Meanwhile, this other lady bought him a drink and started talking to him about her karaoke skills (there was karaoke after) and that seemed more like she was looking for attention vs. wanting to have a real conversation. But who knows, I'm not her...

If I start to feel like people are watching me, paying attention to me, I get exceedingly self-conscious and I can barely breathe. I can't do any of the things that I do well when I am alone (like play music or sing). I think that's partially why I am the worst joke teller. People are very carefully listening to your words and you have to express everything just right. Even thinking about it makes me feel nauseous.

A surprise party would be horrible, by the way.

 

[Ermine]

It all depends on how much attention I get, and what the attention is for. For example, I'd hate to be given attention by being excessively glorified or by having a party thrown for me. However, I like getting attention (with moderation) for my achievements, if I'm proud of them.

 

[echoplex]

Well, you may be an ENTP. The E/I difference is the least important, imo. I think most mistypings are are between E and I. I sometimes wonder if I'm ENTP.

Either way though, I think I know what you mean about wanting subtle attention, rather than direct. I can't stand any kind of public speaking or large group attention directly solely at me. I'd much rather have a small group of people take an interest in me, which slowly grows into a larger group of interest. Perhaps you could say that what I like is gradual attention. The only way I could imagine gaining alot of notoriety is from the ground up.

Also, it should be mentioned that, at least in this forum, we all want attention. It's the only difference between a post and a journal entry.

 

[walfin]

I just really enjoy having people ask me my opinion.

If this is what it boils down to, then, no, you're not really that much of an "attention seeker".

You like to talk, but people don't usually talk about what you like to talk about. Is that right?

Also, it should be mentioned that, at least in this forum, we all want attention. It's the only difference between a post and a journal entry.

But is it the ideas we believe in for which we seek attention, or ourselves (to be sure, it's a bit of both, but which way does the balance swing)?

I sure hope it's not the latter.

 

[JoeJoe]

If this is what it boils down to, then, no, you're not really that much of an "attention seeker".

You like to talk, but people don't usually talk about what you like to talk about. Is that right?

I don't think it's that much about talking. I think (almost) every person wants to be asked their opinion (if it's about a topic they're interested in), because it means, that the person asking values your opinion and you could help him.

 

[Citizen X]

Depends. If I'm talking or explaining something, I require the attention, otherwise I feel I'm talking to the empty air or that I'm not saying anything important at all, and if I'm not going to say anything important, I just won't bother talking.

But spotlight attention? That's a no no. If I want somebody to notice me, I'll pay special precaution that only that particular person does.

But that is rare, 99% of the time I remain in the backstage observing.

 

[sheepie]

I dont like people, I dont like parties and I dont like attention, they make me uncomfortable, I feel judged because I don't like them and paranoid that all those E people and some of you I people too even are going to come annoy the shit out of me and demand my attention. I like it when people I admire and like ask for my advice or confide in me while no one else is around to witness and judge and think. I can't stand the thought of people thinking about me! Makes me nervous, I am pretty sure its because I can't think how they could ever think anything nice about me, because half the time I can't think anything nice about me and feel that I need other people to think nice things about me but how could they and all that just gets on my nerves, just no attention okay?