Arrogance in social situations

[Ocofan]

The thing I probably prize above all of my possessions is my inner voice, the one that (when its quiet) shows me the best logical way to approach most situations. This voice is usually dulled down in the face of distractions and most notably when i'm at work I notice it withers down because of this. This is usually the point at which conscious inhibitions decrease and I tend to do or say things I would prefer not to, i.e. cast a spotlight on myself by saying something when ordinarily i'd say nothing at all. When otherwise before I might just be keeping to myself, I find I have a lowered ability to keep words to myself and sometimes take things to far.

Does anyone else experience this or know of ways to remain actively focused in a social environment? Hard to put into words but its pissing me off. I feel like a bit of a douche at work sometimes with what comes out of my mouth and as soon as it comes out I think 'Who was that person who just said that? Why do I have to be alone to enjoy my thoughts :S

 

[Duxwing]

Social interaction is a massively-multi-dimensional competitive and cooperative real-time game whose reward and punishment systems are jacked directly into your brain. Assuming that you're an INTP, your dominant function (Ti) simply cannot process enough of those dimensions in parallel to cope with the situation's demands; therefore, you switch over to your auxiliary function (Ne) which is very well capable of just that. Unfortunately, Ne's ability comes at a price: your thoughts blur. Why Ne, then? Well, your next thinking function, Te, is four more slots down your function stack. That's even further than Fe, which, if I intuit correctly, is pairing with Ne to cause these unintended outbursts.

Overall, there's nothing to be done. Ti, which provides your "inner voice," does not cope well with real-time social interactions. Ergo, like texting and driving, you must choose between thinking and socializing, for you cannot do both.

-Duxwing

 

[INeedToPee]

Social interaction is a massively-multi-dimensional competitive and cooperative real-time game whose reward and punishment systems are jacked directly into your brain. Assuming that you're an INTP, your dominant function (Ti) simply cannot process enough of those dimensions in parallel to cope with the situation's demands; therefore, you switch over to your auxiliary function (Ne) which is very well capable of just that. Unfortunately, Ne's ability comes at a price: your thoughts blur. Why Ne, then? Well, your next thinking function, Te, is four more slots down your function stack. That's even further than Fe, which, if I intuit correctly, is pairing with Ne to cause these unintended outbursts.

Overall, there's nothing to be done. Ti, which provides your "inner voice," does not cope well with real-time social interactions. Ergo, like texting and driving, you must choose between thinking and socializing, for you cannot do both.

-Duxwing

thats exactly it...i wouldn't have been able to put that into words but that is the understanding i had in my head

and he's sorta right, i don't think it can be done. not perfectly at least. but if you would rather think with your inner logical voice (assuming you are an INTP), just take a second to think, thats the best you can really do. often when people ask me an important question and ask me to choose, i tell them that ill get back to them. (i think out all the possible outcomes before making a decision) rushed on the spot decisions is not an INTP's forte. a girl asked me to prom and i told her yes without even "thinking", only to tell her i changed my mind (after i had some time to "think")

 

[Duxwing]

thats exactly it...i wouldn't have been able to put that into words but that is the understanding i had in my head

-snip-

Thanks for the compliment!

-snip-

a girl asked me to prom and i told her yes without even "thinking", only to tell her i changed my mind (after i had some time to "think")

That happened to me last year, just with a different dance, and I've felt guilty about my response to that poor girl ever since. There's nothing worse than "I don't know" to a shy, somewhat crazy person who you only later realize had been using your friendship to sneak into your heart for two-and-a-half years. Even if what she did was creepy, what I did was weak.

-Duxwing

 

[Ocofan]

True. Thanks for the comments. But the place of my employment have a couple of 'inept' workers. And this sort of INTP description holds true for me:

"INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off"

Some of these folks often just vomit illogical garbage and its so hard to ignore it, my whole body goes rigid lol. Just giving into that need to correct people leads to arguments and I often overstep myself and immediately feel like my introverted shell didn't protect me from jumping into that situation. Just annoying I guess.

 

[INeedToPee]

Even if what she did was creepy, what I did was weak.

hey man, we do what we have to. and in my defense she caught me off guard!

True. Thanks for the comments. But the place of my employment have a couple of 'inept' workers. And this sort of INTP description holds true for me:

"INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off"

Some of these folks often just vomit illogical garbage and its so hard to ignore it, my whole body goes rigid lol. Just giving into that need to correct people leads to arguments and I often overstep myself and immediately feel like my introverted shell didn't protect me from jumping into that situation. Just annoying I guess.

yeah it sucks to be surrounded by people like that :/
i learned to fake a smile so that i don't have to insult people by correcting them. but i still cringe on the inside from the all the logical inconsistencies lol

 

[Duxwing]

I've realized that those who chop logic are skilled in areas besides thought. Without sensors, who would make art? Without feelers, who would heal our emotional wounds? Indeed, if all of us were thinkers, then the world would fall apart, for thought is but one chapter in the story of mankind.

-Duxwing

 

[mu is mu]

Critique/correct them mentally--just don't voice those corrective thoughts.

 

[HDINTP]

You will have to choose my friend socializing means no thinking (maybe a little bit overrated) so thinking less yes. Problems with processing eh? Overwhelmed?

 

[Jennywocky]

True. Thanks for the comments. But the place of my employment have a couple of 'inept' workers. And this sort of INTP description holds true for me:

"INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off"

Some of these folks often just vomit illogical garbage and its so hard to ignore it, my whole body goes rigid lol. Just giving into that need to correct people leads to arguments and I often overstep myself and immediately feel like my introverted shell didn't protect me from jumping into that situation. Just annoying I guess.

If it helps, I think this is something that passes over time, if you let it. I used to be really hung up on this, and even nowadays can still find myself irked a bit online when people post things where their logic (and even their vocab/spelling) is off a bit (or a lot, depending), if it is not just an obvious typo and especially if they are being kind of pompous or aggressive in their posting style. I figure one buys the right to be arrogant only by shoring up their own ideas, so haphazard arrogant people have nothing going for them.

What worked for me is just having other things in my life (my work, my kids, my life goals, money issues to resolve) that I had to focus on and prioritize, and eventually I didn't have the energy to expend getting frustrated about something that is relatively trivial in comparison or that doesn't actually affect me. Remember the old XKCD.com cartoon, "OMG SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET IS WRONG!!!" and the guy obsessed and frantically typing away to disprove them? Well, at this part of my life, as long as it doesn't affect my work or my life, then whatever (most of the time). It's why you will see me back off sometimes from arguments or comments that aren't really important to my life; it's not worth the energy investment.

Also, there are things I value in people in general that I don't want to disrupt by constantly needling them over what ended up as minutia as far as MY life was concerned. So when someone is off a bit, I only get riled up if it impacts me or our relationship in some way; otherwise, I only point it out if it is relevant to something I consider important nowadays.

Of course, sometimes when I'm just nosing around online, I'll poke at things; this place is a playground.

As a final little bit, I don't want people pestering me either on the occasion I screw up (typo or something I overlooked logically), so sometimes take an "live and let live" approach to spare me grief.