Arguement on 'belonging'

[BigApplePi]

@TheHabitatDoctor

If emotion is a part of you, and you block it out, can you then accurately assess where "you" belong while in such an emotionless state?

I can only try to answer this but it will need a peer review. When I block it out, I shove it into my unconscious. As a nominal INTP, I do not partake in Fi when pursuing technicalities. So as I attempt to define this, I ask, "Do I fit the situation and does the situation accept me?" Now if "acceptance" has emotional trappings, so be it. We can feel free to look at emotions, pass on them, rate them and make an intellectual judgment. Come to think of it, checking with one's peers is Fe.

How do you like them apples?

 

[TimeAsylums]

He's so socially obtuse! Of course he belongs!

lolomg

was going to ask if there was a sub forum stricly for "socially obtuse"

but then realized

it's called

"Human Relationships.

Spoiler

strictly off of that, I'm wondering why there even has to be a "human," as if it wouldn't be innately understood...but then you have to watch out for people like THD, so maybe we do need it to be called 'human' relationships.

 

[Grayman]

@GraymanPeople do not belong to other people ... unless one is thinking romantically. We are not slaves.


Loyalty is a good word. One chooses to be faithful to a group or person who wants or needs them. One could back out, but the rapport* with the person or group is a big draw.


Again, your loyalty is at your end. But it's your wife, home and kids with whom you have a mutual relationship that makes it belonging.

As for the forum, that's a tough one. One can be merely compatible with this forum, but if it depends on you for some strong reason ... well that raises the Q of indispensability. The owner of this forum belongs to it ... or rather the forum belongs to the owner.

*rapport is a weak word

Unless you promise yourself to the person...I belong to her in the ways that I promised.

I belong to my children in a way that I am responsible to them for being here. It is my duty to make sure that they have a chance here. They are entitled to that much but they are not entitled to how I do it.

*rapport, ...what were your thoughts on this?

 

[BigApplePi]

Good contrast using different meaning of the word, "belong." That last one means "being a part of." The earlier ones seem to reflect a kind of morality of the owner of the universe wanting us.

 

[Grayman]

Not at all. I can choose cake and pie and still love and be loyal to both. In fact, I can even choose cake and pie.

So in other words being loyal to your country doesn't exclude you being loyal to other entities that may provide the same goals.

You obviously don't have the same definition of loyalty that I do. I certainly hold no loyalty to pie or I would never be able to eat it. I would freeze it and preserve it to the ends of time. I would protect it with my life if need be.

 

[BigApplePi]

Where are the threads for those who don't belong? ...

 

[Grayman]

Good contrast using different meaning of the word, "belong." That last one means "being a part of." The earlier ones seem to reflect a kind of morality of the owner of the universe wanting us.

To what post are you referring?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

How do you like them apples?

I like them. But is their conclusion correct?

but then you have to watch out for people like THD

Hide your dog.

You obviously don't have the same definition of loyalty that I do. I certainly hold no loyalty to pie or I would never be able to eat it. I would freeze it and preserve it to the ends of time. I would protect it with my life if need be.

That's not loyalty to pie. Frozen pie feels unloved. Pie is only truly happy when it's inside a warm belly, and if you're truly loyal to pie, you'll eat it before anyone else can, because that's the only way to truly ensure than no one else eats it.

 

[Hawkeye]

To conclude this thread:

You don't feel a sense of belongingness to the forum like some people do.

However, there must be a reason why you joined the forum in the first place and more importantly, why you're still here.

Sure, you can delete your account at the drop of a hat, but somehow I doubt you will.

 

[Grayman]

To conclude this thread:

You don't feel a sense of belongingness to the forum like some people do.

However, there must be a reason why you joined the forum in the first place and more importantly, why you're still here.

Sure, you can delete your account at the drop of a hat, but somehow I doubt you will.

Curiosity

If...When it stops being entertainingly curious, I leave but then come back to see what has changed, if anything has really changed.

I also enjoy everyone's unique sense of humor. You cannot get this stuff at jokes.com

 

[Hawkeye]

FYI, choosing 0 equates to immediately deleting your account after posting.

Therefore Grayman, you are at least a 1.

 

[Grayman]

Therefore Grayman, you are at least a 1.

pfft....

class graymansMindFunctions
{

void main()
{

AllMyFavoriteFunctions.SetBelongingToForum(null);
AllMyFavoriteFunctions.GoToSleep();
}
}

OUTPUT:

ExceptionOccured Grayman forgot he is a human who does not function on binary logic.

 

[Hawkeye]

Enjoying the unique sense of humour of the forum classifies as a sense of belongingness. If you don't believe me, look up the definition of belongingness for yourself.

 

[Grayman]

Enjoying the unique sense of humour of the forum classifies as a sense of belongingness. If you don't believe me, look up the definition of belongingness for yourself.

From which dictionary and is that 1) 2) 3) or 4). Do we all get to vote on this as the accepted definition?

 

[Hawkeye]

From which dictionary and is that 1) 2) 3) or 4). Do we all get to vote on this as the accepted definition?

Ah, come along now...

You stated that I initially used the wrong definition; yet, you have continually jumped from definitions when responding to people.

Until you state the definition you are sticking to when referring to belongingness in the current context, you have no valid argument in this thread.

 

[Grayman]

Ah, come along now...

You stated that I initially used the wrong definition; yet, you have continually jumped from definitions when responding to people.

Until you state the definition you are sticking to when referring to belongingness in the current context, you have no valid argument in this thread.

I told you my definition aka Loyalty+emotional connection.

I initially did not understand the OP of the "Do you belong here" thread, which this runs off of, so I was trying to figure that out. That may be why it looked like I was changing my idea of the meaning.


Anyways, I don't see your definition anywhere nor do I understand how you equate my statement to any one of the definitions.


I think Apple came up with the best word of what the OP of that thread was 'really' trying to ask and that is the level of 'rapport'. Belonging has no place in the question, from my understanding of the word.

 

[Hawkeye]

I told you my definition aka Loyalty+emotional connection.

I initially did not understand the OP of the "Do you belong here" thread, which this runs off of, so I was trying to figure that out. That may be why it looked like I was changing my idea of the meaning.


Anyways, I don't see your definition anywhere nor do I understand how you equate my statement to any one of the definitions.


I think Apple came up with the best word of what the OP of that thread was 'really' trying to ask and that is the level of 'rapport'. Belonging has no place in the question, from my understanding of the word.

I think I said it quite clearly in this post:

The sense of belonging is not irrelevant. Apathy is a result of lack of belonging.

In terms of personal feelings, belonging is either having a close relationship with a group/something, or feeling a natural part of a group/something.

If you don't feel either, then by definition, you do not feel you belong to that group/something.

To which you replied with the following redundant comment which skirted around my post:

The need of belonging and not getting it is the result of Apathy.

Rapport is a synonym for belonging... Just as loyalty and relationship are.

The fact that you enjoy the unique sense of humour on this site confirms that you have a sense of belonging based on your own definition.

 

[Grayman]

Better clarification:

The definition changes upon the situation. I pointed out how in the "Universe" example. Thus I was showing why I am confused by the question "do you belong".



I felt that the OP of the "Do you belong here" thread was asking my definition of belonging.


Currently, I feel that a better question is use the word rapport instead of belonging. For me, I do not belong but I do have a sense of rapport in this forum.

 

[Grayman]

I think I said it quite clearly in this post:



To which you replied with the following redundant comment which skirted around my post:

I agree with your definition but it still seems to not define the meaning enough for me. There are so many root causes to these feelings.

It seems pointless to compare everyones feeling of 'belonging' when there are so many reasons and standards and values that differ between each and every individual that give them their specific sense of belonging.

For example: Someone who feels they belong because...

1) Other people want them to stick around
2) Everyone seems to like what I have to say
3) Everyone thinks I am so smart
4) Regardless of our differences I seem to communicate well with everyone

Not belonging..
1) No one wants me here
2) No one agrees with what I have to say
3) People think I am stupid and always insult me
4) I don't understand what anyone is saying and they don't undestand me or we simply result in fighting over everything.

Rapport is a synonym for belonging... Just as loyalty and relationship are.

Rapport is not directly related. It would be number 4) in the causes and it is not always a reason for every person.



My conclusion based on what I have learned so far:

I feel that belonging is not well defined and is irrelevent in regards to comparing values accross numurous groups of people. It is relevant only when speaking to an individual and only if you determine the source of why they feel this way.

 

[Reluctantly]

It's nice though when other people can help you in various ways. There's a sense that they mesh with you in a way that gives more meaning and fulfillment to the way that you naturally are. Finding people who complement you probably leads to belonging and it's positive.

 

[not]

My opinion is that @Grayman does not 'feel' the need to 'belong' in order to 'be' here. I don't see a problem with his viewpoint. Speaking for myself now, I have never felt like I 'belonged' anywhere, and possibly the lack of this elusive 'belonging' phenomenon in my personal life has caused me to suppress the relevance of the concept. I will say that I feel all tingly inside when I read such thought provoking debate on this forum, and my reaction to this new found spring welling up from within inside of me does keep me coming back. Could I possibly be feeling what it is like to 'belong?' - I honestly don't know. Who gets to be the judge of whether or not I belong? Is it possible for me to feel like I belong but to be misinformed? Does everyone that uses the forum have to come to a consensus on whether or not I belong? If we boil down to semantics, I belong to this forum because I joined, hold a user name and password, and I actively participated. That does not mean that I have been 'accepted.'

 

[Beat Mango]

Good question. Actually the thread I just started on "what is a social group" is probably the exact same thing.

I mean we can point to a person, we can say "that person there, with the blond hair, with the unique brain etc". But can we point to a group as being a thing-in-itself? Certainly not physically, although there may be patterns of recurring proximity.

For family, we can actually point to similar DNA, and thus can argue that without this DNA, one doesn't "belong". We clearly can't do this with social groups. They are imaginary. Shared illusions. Smiling, laughing, sharing emotions, all contribute to this illusion.