• OK, it's on.
  • Please note that many, many Email Addresses used for spam, are not accepted at registration. Select a respectable Free email.

Are INTPs more prone to be asexual?

Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
48
#1
I've been browsing the boards and found some members commenting they're asexual. Also, when reading INTP descriptions on different sites I found something that drew my attention: "Some INTPs play down entirely the need for sexual relations in their lives" (from http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_rel.html).

What do you think? Are INTPs more prone to be asexual? We all know how shy we are, how difficult it can get for us to get into a relationship, but that's not what I'm trying to know.

It seems to me that nowadays we're living in an era where sex became everything. We moved from a time when it was taboo to one where it's everywhere and it seems the more you want it the better. It's a good thing, in my opinion, that gays, bis and transsexuals can live without shame and pursue their right to happiness, but what about asexuals? It's like we're invisible, everyone's got rights except us. We don't count. To some people we don't even exist. It's perfectly fine if you say you got laid a dozen times last week and you did this and that, but try saying you don't care about sex and everyone will look at you in disbelieve and as if you're an alien! Of all the things in which I feel different, this is probably the one that bothers me the most because society doesn't even acknowledge my existence.

So, what do you say?
 
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
1,614
Location
From a dangerously safe distance
#2
Well, society does kind of acknowledge your existence, do they not? I have heard of asexual support sites and things like that. I agree that society is obsessed with sexuality, but what else would you expect from any species that reproduces sexually? (don't answer that, lol)

This thread reminds me of a concept I've considered before, which is that asexuality has evolved as a response to over-population, although it could be said that homosexuality accomplishes the same thing without the need to remove all urges. (eh, just a thought)

Anyway, I'd say the INTP temperament preference is certainly more conducive to asexuality than most, if not all, types. If anything, I'd imagine an INTP's life would be much easier as an asexual, although I can't really say 'cause I'm a horny bastard myself.

I guess the big question(s) here would be: Does the Ti/Ne preference tandem cause a young mind to simply not develop sexual attractions? or does inferior Fe and Se functions make the very idea of sex itself seem unattractive, thus creating an aversion to all things sexual?

Unfortunately, I can't honestly answer this because I'm not aware of what causes asexuality to begin with. But if it's genetic, and personality preference is also genetic (somewhat), then it might be possible that the genetic factors for both correlate in some way. Just a thought.

Either way, you should be accepted here as we are aware there is more to life than sex. (also, whoever said being an alien is a bad thing?:))
 

severus

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
519
Location
U.S.
#3
also, whoever said being an alien is a bad thing?:)
Ha, when I discovered asexuality and one "sexpert" saying humans can't be asexual, I thought "Well, I wouldn't mind being inhuman, just not subhuman." Rather odd response, looking back.

I think that the INTP personality and asexuality compliment each other quite nicely, but I don't really think there's some deeper connection. Even if there is, we'd have no way of knowing it, having so little research done on asexuality.

But it is an interesting thought.... I shall have to follow this one :)

Edited to add: Just wanted to point out that some/many asexuals still experience romantic feelings towards other people. So perhaps INTP isn't leading towards asexuality, but towards aromanticism?
 

Ghost1986

Active Member
Joined
Feb 9, 2009
Messages
292
Location
The United States.
#5
i wish i was asexual. i have a fairly high sexdrive and i find it annoying.

1. i have better things to do that try to get women to have sex with.

2. due to genetic defects i know i will never let my self reproduce. if the future wife aint up for adoption or foster kids thats her problem.

3. after i releave my self:o, i can watch an adult video and find the physical act of sex kind of repulsive.

4. if anyone knows how to kill the male sex drive with out removing the male parts please tell me.
 

Thaklaar

Active Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
297
Location
League City, TX
#6
3. after i releave my self:o, i can watch an adult video and find the physical act of sex kind of repulsive.
Ain't just you. As fun as it is to participate, the beast with two backs is rarely beautiful to behold.
 
Joined
Mar 25, 2009
Messages
6
#7
It seems to me that nowadays we're living in an era where sex became everything. We moved from a time when it was taboo to one where it's everywhere and it seems the more you want it the better. It's a good thing, in my opinion, that gays, bis and transsexuals can live without shame and pursue their right to happiness, but what about asexuals? It's like we're invisible, everyone's got rights except us. We don't count. To some people we don't even exist. It's perfectly fine if you say you got laid a dozen times last week and you did this and that, but try saying you don't care about sex and everyone will look at you in disbelieve and as if you're an alien! Of all the things in which I feel different, this is probably the one that bothers me the most because society doesn't even acknowledge my existence.

So, what do you say?
It's hard for me not to get confrontational with the words I put in bold letters, so I will try to remain civil.

First, I'm quite fed up with living in a society where every little personality quirk thinks it needs a special place or special observation by the world at large.

Although it may be unusual to be "asexual," it's the absence of needs that separate you from the gay and straight club and their needs of equality. In fact, you have fewer needs than just about any other lifeform, so rather than worrying about a lack of notoriety, be pleased with the fact that you need less. Sometimes people may look at you strangely, but I doubt a rational mind is going to hold it against you. Nobody is going to throw a bible at you and tell you how to behave. Again, your needs are fewer.

I don't know how we've become so diluted and insecure in who we are that we feel we need to monitor and legislate every little facet of life.

I myself once wished I could be asexual. Still do, actually. I personally would find it liberating beyond anything a politician or law could afford. You don't need a niche.

What you do need is some common sense and realize that you really have no problem at all...
 

didyouknow

Active Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
462
Location
Outside your window.
#8
"Some INTPs play down entirely the need for sexual relations in their lives" (from http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_rel.html).
This, I agree with.

However, I disagree with your assertion that we have no sex drive at all. Just that we find it embarrassing and not something we are willing to pursue (though some of us seem to have overcome this hurdle :p).
 

Weliddryn

Far too curious...
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
564
#11
I've been asked quite often if I was asexual.
 

Waterstiller

... runs deep
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Messages
732
Location
over teh rainbow
#12
I don't think INTP's are asexual. Perhaps we know that finding a suitable partner would be extremely difficult and dealing with maintenance/drama of the relationship isn't exactly worth it. Which leads to a lack of skill in the area. So we focus on other things until someone falls into our lap. Or we eventually become curious about relationships. I would like to say that INTP asexuality is more or less a sexual hibernation; it's in the queue. But that's just based on my own experiences and of a couple other INTP's I know.
 

flow

Audiophile/Insomniac
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
1,167
Location
Iowa
#13
Yeah that's really how I see it too. Until I find someone worth being intimate with I find myself hardly desiring anyone (though I do fancy a particular ENTJ).
 

Inappropriate Behavior

is peeing on the carpet
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Messages
3,816
Location
Behind you, kicking you in the ass
#14
I'll add an age perspective. I was hornier than Jazzfest from the age 13 to 25 even though my "luck" was rather mixed. Since then though, the sex drive has dropped like a brick thrown off a bridge. I'm not asexual but the drive is something I can control (as in ignore to a point it goes away) most times. To me it is one of those biological urges/functions that have to be tolerated with a sigh.
 

Gorgrim

Active Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
257
Location
Denmark
#15
hmm, had a couple moments where my sex drive spiked, and I felt like i found a piece of myself. It went away rather quickly. I ended up not really having any drive for it.

Very little interest in trying to have sex... and im only 18.... was hoping to change it, and that's kind of what i was doin.. trying to up those testosterone levels in a hope of regaining that sexual curiosity that I lost....
 

Ermine

is watching and taking notes
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
2,878
Location
casually playing guitar in my mental arena
#17
I don't think INTP's are asexual. Perhaps we know that finding a suitable partner would be extremely difficult and dealing with maintenance/drama of the relationship isn't exactly worth it. Which leads to a lack of skill in the area. So we focus on other things until someone falls into our lap. Or we eventually become curious about relationships. I would like to say that INTP asexuality is more or less a sexual hibernation; it's in the queue. But that's just based on my own experiences and of a couple other INTP's I know.
Exactly. Simply put, relationships aren't my highest priority at the moment and it sounds like a lot of trouble I'm not ready for. Additionally, my strong Ti can make me analyze myself out of anything if I have even the slightest doubt.
 

Perseus

Prolific Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,065
#18

Perseus

Prolific Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,065
#19
I've been asked quite often if I was asexual.
It asks for sexual preferences on job application forms. I am not sure if they are optional or not? I think it is none of the employer's business (on most occasions). Maybe if you were a professional footballer, there might need to be an abstinence clause before important European games. Why did Arsenal lose at home to Wigan this year. Did some players visit the Cathouse at half time?
 

cheese

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2008
Messages
3,182
Location
internet/pubs
#20
I have been accused of asexuality.
 

XIII

Banned
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
363
#21
To those who identify (partially of fully) with asexuality, consider that you may actually have a strong but sublimated sex-drive. Many people having regular sex may have less raw sexual drive than you, but its entirety is being directed towards external social expression. Much of Tantric Yoga involves harnessing this power and directing it towards ''spiritual'' expression; consider how yours is currently being expressed (i.e. Analytically, imaginatively... ).

Or you may be asexual, without a strong sex drive at all. It's worth considering both possibilities, though.
 
Joined
Sep 12, 2008
Messages
29
#22
I kept myself out of sexs way until i was 33 and found this gorgeous ISFJ lady that takes care of me night and day every need and is happy to observe me and laugh and enjoy my company that is not exactly social except towards her.

A marriage made in heaven if you ask me.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,610
Location
Charn
#23
There's far more to life than sex.

However, as I got older, I started "integrating" more into my body, and physical sensations became more important to my well-being and growth. So I actually am more interested in sex now than I used to be... it's like a realm to explore and experience that has some relevance to me.

But in general, yeah, I can have "mind sex" with someone and be happy. The sense of mental connect is very powerful with the right people, regardless of gender.

I have been accused of asexuality.
Beast.

Scarlet "A" time for you. ;)
 

Yozuki

Active Member
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
162
Location
Minnesota
#24
The INTP I know appears to be indifferent towards sex.
 

Glordag

Pensive Poster
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
411
Location
Florida
#27
Holy thread necromancer, Batman!

Well, while I'm here I may as well respond. I have what I would consider a strong sex drive, but the idea of actually having sex is much too troublesome. I don't like getting close to others in that way, and the few sexual encounters I've had didn't lead all the way to sex, and were mostly due to the other person being pretty aggressive about things (or involved copious amounts of alcohol).

My attitude about sex made me jealous and bitter when I was in high school, confused and depressed in college, isolated for a couple of years after that, and I am just now getting to a point (at 25) where I quite enjoy the fact that sex doesn't have the same stranglehold over me that it does for most. I'm starting to love the particulars of my INTP personality more and more as I age, I think :D.
 

5k17

suspective
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
183
Location
Germany
#30
I hate whores. Not necessarily the principle of whoredom, but its manifestations.
If that's not on-topic enough: Sexual needs exist, just like the needs to eat or sleep, and I don't see much of a difference between these needs, except that eating and sleeping is vital, while sexual activity is optional (at least for the indiviual). Sometimes I somewhat like having these needs, but mostly I find them rather annoying, which does, however, not stop me from enjoying their satisfaction. I prefer needs that transcend that basic level (i.e. growth needs and addictions); they have something romantic/fin-de-siecle-like about them.
 

Magnus

Demon Hunter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
47
#31
Short answer yes, and not all because we had tramatic childhoods and are incapable of relating to people...I need to listen to matis some more. YouTube - Matisyahu - We Will Walk seriously don't give up hope, look for the right person before you throw yourself at someone (...ahem...TRUST ME!) love them by accepting their difficulties as your own,be gratefull for whatever they offer you. Acknowledge their flaws, you will not/can't change them. remember that playing something down and not having it are two different things. Be very carefull when you are ready to seek this. Note ISTP people if you are here chill the freak out, I know the feeling but no this is not something you want to throw yourself at without a damn long litmus test. Give their family the same litmus test, if they don't pass the person doesn't qualify (yes,all of them). You live with the choice you make in this area far longer than you might think.
 

Glordag

Pensive Poster
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
411
Location
Florida
#33
Short answer yes, and not all because we had tramatic childhoods and are incapable of relating to people...I need to listen to matis some more. YouTube - Matisyahu - We Will Walk seriously don't give up hope, look for the right person before you throw yourself at someone (...ahem...TRUST ME!) love them by accepting their difficulties as your own,be gratefull for whatever they offer you. Acknowledge their flaws, you will not/can't change them. remember that playing something down and not having it are two different things. Be very carefull when you are ready to seek this.
Wow, wise and sobering advice. This is the kind of thing that seems like common sense, until you realize just how long it takes you to truly understand the truth and meaning behind it.
 

Adaire

Madspinistrator
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,454
#34
not really glordag, different types of relationships suit different people. There is no one right or obvious answer.

Your stereotypical heteronormative serial monogamous relationships are actually incredibly confining. Meanwhile other types of relationships and styles, while equally legitimate, are demonized.

Frankly it's kind of annoying.
 

Glordag

Pensive Poster
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
411
Location
Florida
#35
not really glordag, different types of relationships suit different people. There is no one right or obvious answer.

Your stereotypical heteronormative serial monogamous relationships are actually incredibly confining. Meanwhile other types of relationships and styles, while equally legitimate, are demonized.

Frankly it's kind of annoying.
Huh? When did he delve into specifics about what type of relationship you should pursue? It all seemed pretty open-ended to my eyes. Maybe we interpreted what he said in different ways. Hrm...
 

cheese

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2008
Messages
3,182
Location
internet/pubs
#36

snafupants

Prolific Member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
5,026
#37
Wow, wise and sobering advice. This is the kind of thing that seems like common sense, until you realize just how long it takes you to truly understand the truth and meaning behind it.
Haha *puts arm around Glorbag* Yup, sage advice indeed. Wait, you serious?
 
Joined
Nov 16, 2010
Messages
220
Location
New Zealand - Greytown
#38
Hmm...

I can't say that I'm asexual, but I'm not a sexoholic either.
I'm straight, and attracted to men on the feminine side.

Out of the INTP's that I have meet in person, they are either asexual or straight. The ones that I have meet that say are asexual, is usually because they lack sexual drive (which is common amongst us INTP's).
However, its strange because my father is an INTP and I am one of his eleven offspring (all from the same mother too).

Maybe INTP's are just naturally talented at reproducing. :confused:
Well, that's one reason to be asexual anyway.
 

Sirocco

Animus Imperat
Joined
Nov 19, 2010
Messages
3
Location
Denmark
#39
Pretty high sexual drive and a female. I think it's not about how sexual we naturally are, it's more about how important it is for us. If I could, I would eliminate any sex cravings and thus save time for other projects.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
914
Location
Massachusetts
#40
I am 19, single, I have enough sex, more than most of my guy friends, but I am not one to be constantly chasing it. I never have that cliched guy moment where I am like "oh fuck I'm horny!!". Most of the time it just happens, so I guess that means I have a low sex drive?
 

SpaceYeti

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2010
Messages
5,600
Location
Crap
#41
Sex is fun. I don't know why I'd ever want to eliminate something fun from my life, or my desire to do it, unless I'm especially pressed for time... constantly. I mean... whatever hobbies you might have, do you ever wish you didn't enjoy that activity? If so, why? That's weird. If not, why treat sex differently than a hobby? I like to read, I plan on earning a living by making card games once I'm out of the military and I work on them a lot currently, I write, I watch stuff, I play video games, and I have sex. I like all of those things, and I don't want to eliminate either them or my desire to do them, I only wish I had more time for each.
 

Agent Intellect

Absurd Anti-hero.
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
4,116
Location
Michigan
#42
Sex is fun, but fleeting. Pursuing sex can be a waste of time, especially as much time as some people (probably mostly males) spend doing so. The enjoyment of sex is disproportionate to the amount of effort it can take, the ridiculous social rules and "games" that are required, and the possible complications and risks involved (if one is pursuing casual sex, anyway).

After skimming through this thread, I think waterstiller said it best when it comes to me:

I don't think INTP's are asexual. Perhaps we know that finding a suitable partner would be extremely difficult and dealing with maintenance/drama of the relationship isn't exactly worth it. Which leads to a lack of skill in the area. So we focus on other things until someone falls into our lap. Or we eventually become curious about relationships. I would like to say that INTP asexuality is more or less a sexual hibernation; it's in the queue. But that's just based on my own experiences and of a couple other INTP's I know.
 

SpaceYeti

Prolific Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2010
Messages
5,600
Location
Crap
#43
Sex is fun, but fleeting. Pursuing sex can be a waste of time, especially as much time as some people (probably mostly males) spend doing so. The enjoyment of sex is disproportionate to the amount of effort it can take, the ridiculous social rules and "games" that are required, and the possible complications and risks involved (if one is pursuing casual sex, anyway).

After skimming through this thread, I think waterstiller said it best when it comes to me:
Sure. So don't play the games. Unless you're not attractive, sex is easy to get when you want it. Just be charming and witty. Chicks never say no. And if you're unattractive, just wait for it. You'll find an equally unattractive chick who will have sex with you eventually. Either way, the games are not sex, and I was under the impression those weren't the subject. I agree the games are a waste of time. Sex itself, on the other hand, when you find someone to do it with, is fun.

Further, what sort of fun things do you do that aren't fleeting? Every game I play is only fun until I stop playing, books stop having plot at the end, et cetera. everything ends. So?
 

nil

drifting
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
2,032
Location
within the vast universe
#45
i wish i was asexual. i have a fairly high sexdrive and i find it annoying.

1. i have better things to do that try to get women to have sex with.

3. after i releave my self:o, i can watch an adult video and find the physical act of sex kind of repulsive.
This.
 

indigofireflies

Observer of things
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
146
Location
Galifrey
#46
I think INTPs just like mind-sex more then getting physical. I downplay my sex drive as best as possible. It's intensely personal and not people's business. I probably would've been rather content in solitude if the relationship hadn't been practically given to me.

We probably have a higher percentage rate of asexuals, but I am quite sure I'm not asexual. I may pretend I don't have a sex drive, but I most certainly do have one.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
914
Location
Massachusetts
#47
I wish to add to my previous post, saying that, looking back more carefully, I have noticed that occasionally my mind, freefloating and in constant exploration as it is, has occasionally caused me to become distracted, even during the act itself. No friends of mine have ever experienced this.


Again, I know my posts occasionally make me look conceited and arrogant, but I occasionally wish I was of less intelligence. I think I would be a happier, more fulfilled person.
 

crippli

disturbed
Joined
Jan 15, 2008
Messages
1,649
#48
To those who identify (partially of fully) with asexuality, consider that you may actually have a strong but sublimated sex-drive. Many people having regular sex may have less raw sexual drive than you, but its entirety is being directed towards external social expression. Much of Tantric Yoga involves harnessing this power and directing it towards ''spiritual'' expression; consider how yours is currently being expressed (i.e. Analytically, imaginatively... ).

Or you may be asexual, without a strong sex drive at all. It's worth considering both possibilities, though.
Agreed. Truly being asexual seems implausible. I presume it's an energy that one can release in different forms. Not feeling drawn to engage in physical raw sex, does not mean one is asexual(not sure what the definition of asexuality is) but can be compared as shouting and talking. Talking you do at length. Shouting in short bursts with moments of silence.

Apes don't talk much. Just the occasional growling and screaming. Very raw form of communication.

I guess in this one can question if it's better to draw this energy into every aspect of human communication. Or just do the occasional ape like outlet. Dunno. Seems like a bit of a conundrum.

My own preference is to think about these things mostly, and play with them. Not really doing them. Although I do experiment some at that too. I don't mind sexuality. Find it interesting. And wish I had more natural urges. I tend to play mentally with this instead, i.e no rules or much of a risk. More then satisfied with that.
 

walfin

Democrazy
Joined
Mar 3, 2008
Messages
2,312
Location
/dev/null
#49
A bit strange. Always thought the INTP was not prone to be asexual (after all, there was that Iganomaki or somebody's INTP Interaction Manual which stated that the INTP male likes lots of sex - I identified with it at the time & still do). The INTJs always felt more asexual; the INTP usually seems relatively normal, not obsessed with sex but liking it nonetheless, feeling horny very much of the time but liking other stuff as well. And INTP males and females seem quite similar in their need for the physical act but not so much the "game", from stuff I see written here and in other places.

I don't think having difficulty relating to people necessarily makes one asexual. Anyway, relating to someone in that special way can be quite different from relating to run of the mill humans. And I think INTPs may have different criteria - we are less attracted by physical attributes but more by stuff like intelligence (even if we find ourselves unintelligent), openness/non-bossiness, weird sense of humour (as in, really weird and not the kind of weird that many other humans like) etc.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
914
Location
Massachusetts
#50
I don't think having difficulty relating to people necessarily makes one asexual. Anyway, relating to someone in that special way can be quite different from relating to run of the mill humans. And I think INTPs may have different criteria - we are less attracted by physical attributes but more by stuff like intelligence (even if we find ourselves unintelligent), openness/non-bossiness, weird sense of humour (as in, really weird and not the kind of weird that many other humans like) etc.
I both agree and disagree
I think on some levels this maybe be true (this being the "different" sexual attraction factors), as in a small degree more so than your average person. However, I would not go much further than that. Sexual attractiveness, apart from the odd outlier, (weird fetish guy) is a reasonably universal thing.

Which brings me to my second point. I believe you are wrong about being "less" attracted to the physical. I believe that we are just as aware of and attracted to physical beauty as any other type. I think what you may have intended to convey is that an INTP is less specifically reliant on this SINGLE factor in analyzing another's attractiveness, as we may consider more factors, thus diminishing the relative importance of each.

Think of it as a business model. The more products your company sells, the smaller a percent each plays in terms of a break even analysis and other such formulas.
 
Top Bottom