Originally Posted by SpaceYeti
... You don't feel the need to have fun? Now, there may be several things that are more important, such as raising your children, or your job, but, ultimately, most of those "more important" things are just a means to further your own happiness or that of others.
What is it that you do which you don't find much pleasure in it? You've said before that you don't play video games. I'd suggest taking them up. Video games are fun. Or, also as I suggested, find nerds to play typically nerd games with, such as pen and paper RPGs. I mean... why aren't things pleasurable? Pleasure is pretty easy to obtain, once you know yourself well enough to understand what brings you pleasure. I like food, games of pretty much any sort, but particularly if they involve strategy and imagination, sex, forum-going, watching funny things on DVD, and hanging out with my son.
Any kind of family function is about the last thing I'd think of when I think of 'fun'...
I do play video games, actually. Not much. They're mostly all first person shooters, RPGs, and an occasional gem of a game which shows itself from every boring game with something truly groundbreaking and innovative. The extent of my gameplaying does not go very far. I play to beat the game, or until I get bored with it. I... don't know why I play games. I suppose it is like an 'experiment' in which I can test conclusions when different things are done. That is why I almost exclusively play free-roaming games and RPGs, RTSs. I possibly did once find some sense of pleasure or at least inner peace in them; however, now, I do not at all. My sole purposes for playing games is simply to relieve my boredom, and, in some cases, to divert my utter dissatisfaction in life by going to a vast fantasy world where almost anything is possible.
The only thing I find that somewhat curbs this inherent feeling is knowledge
. Through knowledge, I can find an outlet through which I can destroy by overwhelmingly self-doubt about practically everything. But it is also an uphill battle, for though I gain new knowledge, I know nothing. All of the subjects under the sun are interrelated, so to truly know and understand one, one would have to have knowledge of them all. But, I am quite sure that the gathering of knowledge of anything that strikes my fantasy is the only thing keeping my life from being absolutely meaningless, even though I still often think it is meaningless.
I play Chess. I don't play games for entertainment much at all, if you can see by my posts above. I have watched movies, but don't derive much of anything out of them other than temporary appeasement of the roaring inner nature. They are altogether useless. A few pique my interests, consequently, I think on them for a time or end up gaining yet another intellectual interest in an ever-expanding sea. The purpose of everything is the gathering of the only substance which I imagine will be worth dedicating a life to, and all that I suppose shall keep my wildly changing interests.
I read sometimes too... but not much. If I were to read greatly though, it would be philosophy, technical manuals, science, and nonfiction, history type books. I do derive some temporary pleasure as well from fiction, but never read it unless forced to. Still, many fiction books that I have been forced to read have been particularly insightful into the condition of man and life, and for that, I enjoyed these books.
I do quite like food... but it is only another temporary pleasure. Sometimes, I enjoy greatly the prospect of eating, and expanding my palette, and then sometimes I can be so depressed that I eat barely anything and get no pleasure from it at all. Those phases usually don't last more than a few days, however.
All of those things which mentioned which can, and do, give pleasure... they are all fine things, but entirely miss the point. I do not want to chase empty temporary pleasures... to do such would be to destroy my very being. But yet there is nothing in this world which can express a true, undying passion; nothing which has shown to me a genuine reason to live my life passionately, carefree, and heartily. And I don't think I ever will. The philosophy of absurdism states the absurd is the mingling inner human quest for something meaningful, and the human inability to find something meaningful. All of those things you named, they are diversions, to keep the true desire of the mind and soul at bay, to keep the body trapped in multitudes of false pleasures, to keep the mind under bondage, when it so very much does desire freedom and release! And even still, the soul requires release from the body, for the body hinders it; it is a parasite which drinks upon the immortal energy of the soul. And death and life become one together, where to live is to die and to die is to live...