Well apparently people liked my thought-by-thought analysis of last episode (or maybe you were
being sarcastic in which case fuck you I'm doing it anyway) so here's my take on the finale here. Again, I'm not using SPOILERS, so read on at your own risk.
Right off the bat this episode has a strikingly different tone. A lot of instrumentals and dialogue-free shots which I count to the show's credit, as most dialogue lately has been obvious and incredibly on the nose. This Loras trial was more or less as expected. I didn't expect him to actually pledge himself to the faith militant, though. In all honesty I thought he'd be executed or at least die in some other fashion (mostly because last we heard from him he was gravely wounded while retaking Dragonstone and has been sitting around off-screen for at least one full book or more. My only thought beyond that is that Loras was not wounded there and is actually somewhere else enacting schemes for the Tyrells, in which case his conversion now is still strange unless he and the Tyrell brood begin plotting something big next season.
I saw Pycelle's death coming, seeing as he has been killed in the books, but not in this way. His death (and Kevan's) kicks off what I expect to be Varys' reign of terror on King's Landing, not some Cersei "making way for the new" bullshit. Also how did Qyburn get those kids to commit murder for him? That's far outside the range of what Varys ever asked of those little birds. All Varys ever did was ask them to watch and tell him what they saw. Actual murder is a pretty big step up. He must have given them A LOT of candy.
Also where's this kid running off to? I mean, clearly this is where the wildfire is stored and they've done a great job all season of reminding us that the Mad King had it hidden under the city, but are they really going to begin the episode by blowing up the sept? Seems like an artless and brutal method of seizing power. Although Cersei's mind has definitely become that (I actually really dislike all of Cersei's scenes this season. Here in the show she's oddly composed and carefully plotting whereas she's losing her god damn mind in the books. Everywhere she looks she see's Tyrion smiling from the shadows. She has nightmares so bad that she's formed a small opium habit just so she can get to sleep and has ramped her drinking problem up to 11 when she's staying awake. She's obsessed with wildfire, going so far as to burn down the Tower of the Hand with it after Tywin dies. At every turn she's so frightened of enemies and plots that she's actually alienated everyone around her, including Jamie who'd actually soured on her in the books the first time he returned to King's Landing (he even got a letter from her to be her champion in the trial by combat but just threw it away and was like "nah")). Big ups (as the saying goes) to my girl Marg for figuring it out. She's not going to die is she? Damn, Cersei might take out practically the whole Tyrell line right now, seeing as Wyllis doesn't seem to exist in the show. Awwwwwww shit, motherfucker. Let's check out that body count:
Kevan's gone (again, supposed to be killed by Varys for doing too good a job at governing and allowing Cersei more room to fuck everything up).
Loras, Margaery, and Mace Tyrell. The Tyrell line is essentially crippled. To my knowledge, only Olenna remains and she's not gonna be popping out an heir any time soon.
Lancel. Eh who really gives a shit? He was nothing special in the books and even less special in the show.
The High Sparrow. This one's big too. He was a really bizarre and interesting character. I think the show writing for him was always a bit off the mark from where it should have been, but he was an interesting and mysterious character who I hope gets some more development and exploration in the book.
Tommen's not going to be happy.
Ooh, waterboarding the nun with wine! Although, if we're being real, Cersei's too much of an alcoholic to willingly waste that much wine. I don't really see what significance Cersei torturing her is really going to have, though. Also why are we still calling the mountain by his name? He was pronounced dead so that Dorne would be complacent with the justice they were served. This is Ser Robert Strong and he's totally not
the mountain (although he may be constructed out of quite a few pieces of the mountain).
lolwat Tommen. That's not what I meant when I said you wouldn't be happy.
Why did the Lannister army go to the Twins? They're marching back to Casterly Rock with their political prisoners because the war is over
. Ugh whatever fine, we need them to kill the Freys anyway. Why's Jaime so brood-y? Also why's Walder physically walking around? His joints are so fucked that people have to carry him literally everywhere. Go back and watch every scene he's in from season 1 onwards and I swear he's reverse aging. He's getting younger, healthier and more mobile every time he appears on screen.
Not what I would expect of Cersei regarding Tommen's death. Each successive death in her family has (or should have) made her more and more unhinged. For Tommen's suicide to actually be her fault should actually break her brain. She should be nuttier than the mad king ever was right now.
Okay Sam, while I do appreciate the view you've picked out for yourself, don't you think you should've rode the carriage all the way into town? Ooooh shit, are those white ravens flying out of the Citadel? It's Winter, motherfuckers! Let's get this shit started. Why is Sam doing this cutesy bullshit? Why is this maester doing this asshole bullshit? Why is Gilly here? I don't get what the point of this drama is when it should be straightforward. Why does Sam look so jumpy and scared walking into the library?
The white raven heads to Winterfell. Let's check out the aftermath. Does Littlefinger try to be in control? Does Sansa get all machivellian on this shit? Does Jon do something (dear god anything, please) to make me care about him again? Seriously is Jon's northern accent getting thicker? Is Davos really still salty about that Shireen shit? She even admits she was wrong. Oh execution! Maybe she dies! I kind of hope not. She's got too unique of a perspective to get rid of, imo. Exile is lame. Why hanged as a murderer? Shouldn't she be beheaded or some shit so that we can have the person who passes the sentence swings the sword thing over again? Jesus fuck when are Jon and Sansa going to bang? Also of course, we get reminded again that Jon is a bastard and not a true Stark. Come on, guys, just reveal his lineage already. This game you're playing is getting old. OHMYGOD JON AND SANSA JUST FUCK ALREADY.
No god dammit I hate Dorne can we just forget about this section of the show even exists? Okay Olenna's here, so it's alright at least. And she even told the Sand Snakes to shut the fuck up so we don't even have to suffer through their shitty dialogue (the asian one is super pretty, though. I wouldn't mind giving her a bit more screen time, at least). WOOO Varys! I knew the Dorne camp was angling for a Targaryen return, but it's interesting to see the Tyrell's getting pulled into it.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohmyhol yfuckingshitIdon'tgiveafuckaboutdanaerys. Ugh who fucking cares who Dany's banging? She's clearly going to be experimenting in the near future.
Aaaand another reminder that the Mad King was mad. Weeeeeee Tyrion is Hand again! He was fucking great as Hand.
lolwat is this the new Frey pies? Sure is. Kind of heavy handed, though. In the books Frey Pies was more or less left up to implication. I am confused by how Arya changed faces. She never learned how to do that. Even in the books (where she actually has changed faces before) the face change was always done for her.
No you didn't go to the godswood Sansa. Did you forget that you followed more of the ways of the new gods like your mom? Ugh Littlefinger don't tell me you're so singleminded. Also don't bring that sowing discord shit in here. Jon and Sansa don't have to be opposed.
Aw, bye uncle Benjen. It was good to see you again. And now Bran is going to warg into the weirwood. "I'm the three-eyed raven now" No dumbass you're the kid that got the Three-Eyed Raven killed. You still don't know what the fuck you're doing. Okay at least it's the Tower of Joy. Let's watch Jon being born! Oh my god don't muffle his name. We all know who this is. Everyone. Everyone knows. Why are you intentionally drawing all this shit out? Uuuuggggghhhhhh.
Come on man, they made Lord Manderly a mute bitch? He's the fucking badass who did Frey Pies! He should be played by god damn John Goodman and he should dominate every scene he's in. Mother fuck. This girl gets it, though. Oh they gave Manderly some lines. Still would be better if it was John Goodman delivering them, though. Sansa's going to be salty.
Dumb coronation scene.
Dumb Dany sailing away scene (but very beautiful. That's a cool looking fleet). What? Why is Varys back with them? He's in Westeros sowing discord and paving the way for Dany's (or fAegon's?) invasion.
Ugh. Fine. That's an acceptable season finale, I suppose. A lot of it seems to be their (very rushed) pieces falling into place. I will say though that the last two episodes were beautifully shot. Very visually appealing. I think they were both directed by the same guy (iirc) so yeah give that guy some kind of award.