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Old 11th-December-2016, 10:04 AM   #1
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Default Happiness as a life time job

Just as with any task I have, I'll search for happiness then even if I find it somewhere I loose the interest (not in being happy, rather in a specific source of happiness), motivation goes away and give up.

When I have a wife the feeling is of purpose beyond myself, I already have happiness by my side so the "work" to achieve it disappears and I'm left with the best hobby in the world, finding ways for me and my partner to have extra fun.

Just to think about going my whole life working to make me happy sounds like too much, like I'm aiming at a moving target I need to hit constantly and "forever".
  1. Have you or do you feel like this?
  2. Have you got tired of having to find happiness over and over?
  3. Do you feel motivate in taking things to the end just for yourself alone?
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Old 11th-December-2016, 10:52 AM   #2
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

This is looking like a "clever" way of stating Codependency o.O Tough to break this logic tho'
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Old 11th-December-2016, 11:19 AM   #3
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

Took me 3 read throughs of that to select the correct grammar and to process your point.

Wish I never bothered, the effort pissed me off.
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Old 12th-December-2016, 03:49 AM   #4
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

Your entire method of obtaining validation is absurd. Sorry. It sounds to me like you can't derive pleasure from pleasing yourself.

Bit MGTOW moment for me but I think this is applicable for women, too. We are taught wrong to seek validation from others when we should be able to find validation in ourselves. Setting our own goals and then accomplishing those goals for example. It's a personal thing and should remain that way. If you need to validate yourself with others let it be on your terms. Like a shared hobby. Not on theirs like chasing some fictional idea of codependency.
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Old 12th-December-2016, 04:38 AM   #5
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

Its completely possible to strive for (and lose) happiness solely by yourself. That said, I understand the point. I have just started to unlock something within me - something I didn't know I had and it has to do with dealing with people. In short, I am much better at being able to identify how what I do/say can/does affect people. I have started to play mind games with people in playful ways which I was fully incapable of doing before. This adds a lot of enjoyment to my life and I couldn't do it without other people.
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Old 15th-December-2016, 11:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

An actually decently advanced one... Cool.

I wonder why you associate happiness with working for it? What would happen if you simply learned to recognize happiness independently through, say gratitude or similar? Seems like this would allow you to actually enjoy it, and it would be fairly constant vs fleeting and dependent on external circumstances, whether those externals be goals, other people, etc.
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Old 20th-December-2016, 12:24 PM   #7
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Default Re: Happiness as a life time job

The trick to happiness is to achieve flow states in the things do. The problem is that most flow states are not sustainable or that the activity becomes contaminated by other factors (e.g. $, distraction). This is why certain practices such as Zen meditation, trains you to focus longer on just doing one thing, and thus maintaining longer flow states in other activities.
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