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Old 5th-December-2016, 05:11 AM   #1
Hunter Wulf
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Default Questions on love and the future

I am just going to start out saying that I am a fairly young person and that I might be basing everything off of pure ignorance and inexperience.

I have noticed that people like us "love" very differently compared to the majority of the population or so it may seem.

There are 6 distinct sections of love

Physical: How much are we attracted to each other physically? Do we each want the same amount of cuddling, holding and kissing?
Sexual: How compatible are our sexual preferences and sex drives?
Emotional: How important is it to each of us to honestly share our feelings with each other and be listened to? Are we on the ‘same wavelength’? Can I say about my partner that s/he ‘gets me’?
Intellectual: How important is intellectual stimulation to each of us?
Practical: how well do we work together on everyday domestic issues such as housework and financial planning?
Spiritual: do we share similar views about the meaning of Life? How much are we ‘looking together in the same direction’ in terms of our values and vision?

I believe our values mainly go in this following order.

Intellectual/Emotional(tie)
Sexual(that intertwines deeply with spiritual)
Spiritual(that intertwines deeply with sex)
Physical
Practical

Now, I think this order is set up to fail. We are rarely matched intellectually and are highly anti-social so that doesn't help whatsoever and partners tend to be selfish (from my own personal experience with people). With sex, we are very aware of the meanings behind it, it is the bonding of two lovers as one (spiritual). People rarely see sex in this fashion and yet again, we are left unsatisfied. Physical and practical I believe, are the two dominant ones in our society. And, instead of sex intertwining with spirituality with the majority of the population it intertwines with the physical and it has no meaning at that point.

So my questions are

What are the chances of people like us being completely satisfied in the future?
Are you satisfied where you are now?
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Old 5th-December-2016, 05:51 AM   #2
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Default Re: Questions on love and the future

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Originally Posted by Hunter Wulf View Post
What are the chances of <any humans ever> being completely satisfied in the future?
Very very low.

Life is dissatisfaction. Make the most of it.

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Originally Posted by Hunter Wulf View Post
Are you satisfied where you are now?
More so than previous years, yes.
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Old 5th-December-2016, 12:52 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunter Wulf View Post
I am just going to start out saying that I am a fairly young person and that I might be basing everything off of pure ignorance and inexperience. I have noticed that people like us &quot;love&quot; very differently compared to the majority of the population or so it may seem. There are 6 distinct sections of love Physical: How much are we attracted to each other physically? Do we each want the same amount of cuddling, holding and kissing? Sexual: How compatible are our sexual preferences and sex drives? Emotional: How important is it to each of us to honestly share our feelings with each other and be listened to? Are we on the ‘same wavelength’? Can I say about my partner that s/he ‘gets me’? Intellectual: How important is intellectual stimulation to each of us? Practical: how well do we work together on everyday domestic issues such as housework and financial planning? Spiritual: do we share similar views about the meaning of Life? How much are we ‘looking together in the same direction’ in terms of our values and vision? I believe our values mainly go in this following order. Intellectual/Emotional(tie) Sexual(that intertwines deeply with spiritual) Spiritual(that intertwines deeply with sex) Physical Practical Now, I think this order is set up to fail. We are rarely matched intellectually and are highly anti-social so that doesn't help whatsoever and partners tend to be selfish (from my own personal experience with people). With sex, we are very aware of the meanings behind it, it is the bonding of two lovers as one (spiritual). People rarely see sex in this fashion and yet again, we are left unsatisfied. Physical and practical I believe, are the two dominant ones in our society. And, instead of sex intertwining with spirituality with the majority of the population it intertwines with the physical and it has no meaning at that point. So my questions are What are the chances of people like us being completely satisfied in the future? Are you satisfied where you are now?
Thông tin khá bổ *ch, mong mọi người sẽ đóng góp nhiều hơn thông tin dạng như thế n*y để forum thêm phần đa dạng.
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Old 5th-December-2016, 08:45 PM   #4
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Default Re: Questions on love and the future

To me, the most important part is being of the same wavelength since I find that so rarely find it I tend to think of it as something special. Intellectual stimulation is important, but I can find that anywhere. Don't think I could be with someone I was severely mismatched with on that, though, as they'd never get me at all.
The practical is just something to work with and if our spiritual perspectives were the same it wouldn't lead to very interesting discussions, would it?

Am I satisfied now? No.
Am I likely to be? I've deemed it doubtful for a long time. Until I knew about this whole INTP thing I thought I was just unique and wouldn't find anyone on that all important wavelengths. So who knows.
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Old 5th-December-2016, 11:19 PM   #5
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Default Re: Questions on love and the future

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It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances. Only in this sense, as the task of working on themselves ("to hearken and to hammer day and night"), may young people use the love that is given to them. Merging and surrendering and every kind of communion is not for them (who must still, for a long, long time, save and gather themselves); it is the ultimate, is perhaps that for which human lives are as yet barely large enough.

But this is what young people are so often and so disastrously wrong in doing: they (who by their very nature are impatient) fling themselves at each other when love takes hold of them, they scatter themselves, just as they are, in all their messiness, disorder, bewilderment. And what can happen then? What can life do with this heap of half-broken things that they call their communion and that they would like to call their happiness, if that were possible, and their future? And so each of them loses himself for the sake of the other person, and loses the other, and many others who still wanted to come. And loses the vast distances and possibilities, gives up the approaching and fleeing of gentle, prescient Things in exchange for an unfruitful confusion, out of which nothing more can come; nothing but a bit of disgust, disappointment, and poverty, and the escape into one of the many conventions that have been put up in great numbers like public shelters on this most dangerous road. No area of human experience is so extensively provided with conventions as this one is: there are life-preservers of the most varied invention, boats and water wings; society has been able to create refuges of every sort, for since it preferred to take love life as an amusement, it also had to give it an easy form, cheap, safe, and sure, as public amusements are.

It is true that many young people who love falsely, i.e., simply surrendering themselves and giving up their solitude (the average person will of course always go on doing that), feel oppressed by their failure and want to make the situation they have landed in livable and fruitful in their own, personal way. For their nature tells them that the questions of love, even more than everything else that is important, cannot be resolved publicly and according to this or that agreement; that they are questions, intimate questions from one human being to another, which in any case require a new, special, wholly personal answer. But how can they, who have already flung themselves together and can no longer tell whose outlines are whose, who thus no longer possess anything of their own, how can they find a way out of themselves, out of the depths of their already buried solitude?

They act out of mutual helplessness... (cont.)


Ref: http://www.carrothers.com/rilke7.htm (Letters to a Young Poet - R.M. Rilke)
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