I wish I found this place earlier
I have just have a better understanding of myself as an INTP.
I have took test and get to know about the MBTI a little during my adolescent but due to the lack of deep understanding of life and human mind, I did not take it seriously and thought I could become any type of person I want as long as I work on it.
In retrospect, I am kind of a natural INTP strugging to become a ENTJ and force myself to think that way. As a result, I am a little self-sabotage in quite some way. On a side line, I don't think my scale on I-E have any chances, I still primarily I, but I do act in J way sometimes on the P-J scale due to mind conditioning.
In short, I used to be top scholar in high school and admit into top university but in the end drop out it. Not because I choose to but due to I have failed my study a lot and being kicked out of it. I am quite lost and trying to figure out the purpose of my life and grabbing any possible branch of hope. Read a lot and attending many seminar, look into many school of thought.
I have been in the working world for about 10+ years, and the pattern of self-sabotage is repeated. I have perform well then then become a disaster.
As for now, I have been kind of jobless for about 10 months, with a negative networth and quite some debt, single, kind of depress for a bit in the past 10 month but not in a serious way. However, I have been stand up back recently and actively searching for job and working on myself on the site line.
Today I stuble upon the MBTI and go with the test, and the description on it is eerily true. I have general idea of who I am and my personality roughly, but the INTP description really let me have better and deeper understanding. Especially INTP have such high tendency of not being able to understand by majority of the masses.
I stumble upon some post form this forum and realize this could be a place I can engage in some like minded mental exchange. Wish I could find this place earlier.